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Despite how long it had been since Ryland and Rocky had pulled him out of that sub, Simon still found the smell of soil and nature to be one of the most calming experiences he'd had. His entire life, he'd dreamed of being surrounded by trees, plants, hell he'd have taken a patch of grass. Now, though? The bio-dome was nearly entirely nature. More often than not, his friends (family?) would find him wondering through the garden, greenhouse, or even the budding forest. His feet were bare, no concern of sharp rocks or stray sticks (the Eridians were very serious about keeping their humans well maintained), his pants the only clothes he wore in order to feel the breeze on his skin. His hair had grown down between his shoulder blades, now healthy and shining in the sunlight.
The sun. He closed his eyes, a soft smile etching itself into his face, newly formed smile and laugh lines becoming more prominent. Simon couldn't get enough of that warmth, coming outside several times a day to simply bask in it like a lizard. In fact, that's how Rocky found him.
Rocky gave out a soft trill as he approached, noticing his friend was in his own world. “Hello, friend Simon!" Simon turned, opening his eyes and smiling at the alien. His mutated eye took a few extra seconds to readjust to the light, and he shook his head to focus.
“Hey, bud, what's up?”
“Are you busy, or do you have a moment? Friend Grace said they had a question to ask you,” his musical notes filled the silence, and Simon tilted his head before responding. He was proud of himself for how quickly he'd picked up the language.
“No, I'm not busy,” he smiled, looking over at the house he shared with Ryland. They'd offered to build him his own, but he enjoyed the teachers' company far too much for that. “Did he say what it was about?”
“That's not my business to say. I just know he's too afraid to actually ask you.” Simon hummed and nodded, thanking Rocky and heading inside.
He found Ryland in the lab, glasses hanging from his lips as he looked through a microscope. He hadn't noticed him, allowing Simon to take in the sight. His normal jeans or khakis and fox sweater were replaced with baggy sweat pants and a t-shirt, which allowed a rare view of his strong arms. His blonde hair was somehow messy, but neat? It was an odd combo, but it looked impossibly good on him.
Simon cleared his throat, gaining Ryland's attention and startling him at the same time.
“Sorry.” Simon smiled a little at the other man, who huffed but let out a small laugh as he relaxed.
“Don't be, I was hyperfocused on a project.” Ryland beamed at him this time, giving Simon his full attention. “What brings you in here? You're usually frolicking until 10, it's only…” he glanced at his watch. “About 9?”
Something about Ryland knowing such small details always made Simon feel warm, and this was no different. He almost blushed. “Rocky said you had a question for me. Wouldn't tell me what it was, but I figured I would come find out.” Ryland blushed and scratched his head, looking away.
“Damn, I sometimes forget how good their hearing is. I… it's been a while since I asked, and last time you weren't comfortable talking about it.” Simon's body froze up, but he didn't stop him. “You were talking in your sleep last night… mumbling about filament station and that you didn't mean it.” Ryland took a deep breath and met Simon's slightly panicked eyes. “It's okay if you still don't feel comfortable talking about it. I'm not going to push it, I just want to offer an ear if you do want to. It seems to be still heavily weighing on you, and I'm worried.”
Simon was still in the doorway, his eyes locked to Ryland's. He felt a wave of panic for a minute before processing what he was seeing and hearing. Ryland wasn't demanding answers, wasn't judging him for his nightmares. His eyes held nothing but openness, and honesty. A tilted head and a pat to the second chair in the room was all it took for Simon to break. Silently, he walked to the chair and sat down, looking at his friend and taking a deep breath.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, not here.
“I… it didn't go how it was supposed to go.” And he spilled everything. The plan, his concerns, having to go along with it anyway, trying to stop it but it was too late, too fucking late. His desperate attempts to save people, and finally being left behind by his brothers. He didn't even realize that he was crying until the end, tears ripping down his cheeks and leaving hot tracks, collecting in his beard. He glanced up, ready to be judged, ready to apologize for crying and being such a baby, but instead he was silenced. Grace was looking at him with warmth, empathy in his watery eyes as tears ran down his own cheeks.
He couldn't fathom why, but Simon felt a sob rip out of his chest when Ryland opened his arms in an offer of comfort. He surged forward, nearly knocking them both to the ground as Simon collapsed into the other man, arm wrapped around his waist and face buried in his shoulder. Ryland pulled him closer, rubbing his back and resting his cheek against Simon's head.
“Im so sorry you had to go through that. That must have been so hard for you. Feeling all this guilt from trying to stop it, only to be blamed for it in the end.” Another sob shakes Simon's body and the hand rubbing his back moved into his hair, giving his scalp light scratches. “Those feelings are valid, Simon. You're not a murderer.” His heart was thumping in his chest, beating on his rib cage but slowing down as Ryland's soft words processed in his anxious mind. The sobs slowed down, but the tears continued. It was like opening a dam. He hadn't allowed himself to cry in front of someone else for years, but now he couldn't find it in him to stop.
And yet, Ryland stayed. Simons weight in his lap was nothing compared to rocky sleeping on his chest, and he was happy to hold him as long as it took for him to be okay. Ryland blinked away the last of his sympathy tears, rocking Simon absently and rubbing his back and head. His shirt was soaked by the time Simon stopped crying, not that he minded.
He wasn't sure what overcame him, but when Simon lifted his head, Ryland cupped his cheek gently. The cheek-teeth pressed into his palm as the shorter man relaxed into it, closing his eyes.
“I'm proud of you, Si. Thank you for telling me about this, I know it took a lot of courage.” He rubbed his thumb over his cheek, wiping away a few stray tears. “Are you okay?” A nod. “Nonverbal?” Another nod, and Simon opened his eyes, one blue and the other red, giving a silent plea. Don't go… “How about a movie night? We can cuddle on the couch and watch brother bear?” Another nod, more enthusiastic, and Ryland smiled. “Perfect. Come on, then.” He readjusted his grip, making sure Simon was secure before he stood up and carried him into the living room, and to their blanket fort/nest of pillows and blankets.