Chapter Text
Leo's Bedroom
Age 6
Leo bounced twice off the ground before rolling to a spot. Groaning, he tried to push himself up, only to cry out as a clawed metal foot slammed down onto his back. "Where do you think you're going, Pest?"
"No...No!" Leo tried to squirm free as Kraang leaned down, rage gleaming in his eyes.
"NO MORE RUNNING!" He drew his arm back, metal claws gleaming...
And Leo woke up, hands shoved into his mouth to muffle his scream. Whimpering, his eyes darted around the room, half-expecting Kraang to dive out of the shadows and finish him off. 'A nightmare. Just a nightmare.' Slowly, Leo sat up and let his hands drop from his mouth. They shook in his lap as a tear slipped from his cheek to land on his left thumb. Trying to stay quiet enough that Dad or Raph wouldn't come running in, Leo felt around for his teddy bear. When his hand touched fur, Leo pulled Skye close to his chest and let himself cry.
It had been five days since Leo had been able to move back into his bedroom. Five days since Donnie and Dad managed to soundproof the room to muffle the snoring. But Leo was pretty sure the soundproofing was only one way, or maybe the curtains weren't good at blocking out the sound. So Leo had to stay quiet every time he had a nightmare, or woke up scared and alone, even if he didn't remember what he dreamed. (Those were the worst.)
It should have been easier; Leo had a lot of practice keeping quiet in the ten whole weeks it had taken for everything to be fixed. But at least he'd never been alone. (Thanks to the schedule everyone had drawn up the night after that first sleepover with Mikey. Leo'd moved beds every two days, from Raph's room to Donnie's to Mikey's, with Sunday being a turtle pile in the den.) When Leo woke up, he'd feel Raph's arm draped protectively over him, or Mikey cuddling into his stomach, or the pressure of Donnie's shell against his own. Now, it was just him and Skye, alone in the dark.
Knowing by now that sleep was pointless, Leo slowly rolled out of bed. He wiped at his eyes with one arm and tucked his teddy under the other before peaking out into the atrium. Still dark, but it was just getting light enough that Leo knew Raph was fast asleep. So Leo slipped out from behind the curtains and tiptoed to the ladder. Carefully scrambling up, the slider slipped past Dad's room and down the hall. Two turns later, and Leo was in the room that would become the medical bay. Right now, it was just where they stuck all the medical supplies that Dad could dig up from dumpster diving and Goodwill donations.
It was one of the few rooms far away from the sewers, in case of flooding, which meant it was far from everyone else's rooms. So Leo didn't have to worry as much about noise. Carefully setting Skye atop one of the boxes (and patting his head), Leo squeezed into the far corner where a metal suitcase sat. (Someone had tossed it down a manhole a few weeks ago. It had been full of small bags of white powder that Splinter had immediately confiscated, though Leo now knew they were drugs. He hadn't asked what Dad had done with them.) Leo lightly bit his tongue as he moved the numbers to open the case. "Three, two, six, four, five, nine," he whispered before the lock clicked open.
Inside the case were six notepads Leo had taken for himself, each with a different color. A mechanical pencil was attached to each one. Leo carefully picked up the notepad with a blue cover and flipped to the bookmarked page. "August uh...19th, two thousand and eleven," he mumbled, carefully writing out the date. (He'd had really bad handwriting in his 'memories', another thing to fix.) Nightmare. Total sleep, um..." Leo thought a bit, glancing around the room and wishing Dad would let them have cellphones. It would be easier to tell the time. "...five hours?" He added the question mark at the end and closed the book with a sigh.
The memories of being the family medic (not doctor, doctors studied and learned and Leo came up with things on the fly) had come back suddenly. A flashback to Mikey coughing and sweating as Leo tried desperately to get him to drink. (Pneumonia, Mikey had been coughing for days and none of them had noticed until his fever had gotten so high and the regular human meds hadn't worked and Leo still wasn't sure what caused the fever to break-) Another tear dripped onto the page and Leo hastily wiped it away. He couldn't think about it now. He had to focus.
After that first flashback, Leo had started researching. He hadn't gotten into medicine until eleven last time, so he would start early, do better! (Be better...) He stumbled through biology textbooks both confusing and familiar at the same time. Leo snuck up here to sort through the bandages and medicines, trying to group them by expiration date so he could throw them out later. (He remembered Donnie stumbling in at 12 with a second degree burn on his hand, only for Leo to discover the Neosporin had expired months ago. Leo would keep better track this time.) Using these notebooks, he'd keep track of family ailments and illnesses until he was old enough to get actual files (and Donnie to set up the computer system to get the actual forms.)
Right now, most of what Leo had was on himself and Dad. Leo obviously could keep track of what was going on with himself, and Dad...well, Leo 'remembered'. ('PTSD' was carefully written and erased on the first page of the Dad notebook, just in case one of his brothers snuck in and started reading.) But the problem was that Leo didn't really know what to write about his brothers! He couldn't write about stuff in the future because if anyone read that, they'd figure out Leo knew about the future! But he couldn't just walk over and start asking for a family physical; that's what doctors did and Leo wasn't that! (He didn't even know what he was doing...)
Sniffling, Leo sat down on the floor and picked up the purple notebook. He stroked the cover, 'remembering' Donnie constantly rubbing at his eyes, squinting and snapping at everyone for months until he'd walked in on Leo sans mask and called him 'Raph' in front of everyone. Donnie didn't have glasses until age 8, almost 9! And Leo didn't want his t...his brother to go through that pain again. 'But I can't just say he needs glasses,' Leo thought. 'Even if Dad is...better now, they'd ask why. Or Donnie'll think I'm making fun of him again.' Leo rubbed his eyes and leaned back against a box. He couldn't do anything right. He couldn't help Donnie, he couldn't look after his family, he couldn't do anything right! The only thing Leo had ever been remotely good at was those stupid Lair Games that Dad would come up with and-
"Games," Leo whispered, eyes lighting up. A tiny smile crept across his face as he grabbed one of the spare notebooks. Flipping to the back, he began scribbling out ideas. "Holding our breath the longest, who can lift the most, uh, shortest time racing around the lair!" His brothers wouldn't need to know Leo would be watching carefully, taking notes for later of how they were when healthy. Leo could compare things to how they were next year, see how they were growing, see if things changed. And if Leo snuck in a finding game, or an eye test, then he'd have proof! 'I can do this, I can do this!' Leo giggled to himself as more and more ideas came flooding in.
This time, he'd do it right.
Kitchen
Next Morning
"Are we sure we shouldn't wake Nardo?" Donnie asked for the fifth time as Raph scooped up the last bits of cereal in his bowl. "He's going to miss breakfast again."
"Raph checked before he came up and Leo was sleepin'," Raph answered, a little annoyed at this point. "You know he's not sleepin' much and Dad said to let him sleep in, Donnie." The softshell grumbled and reluctantly nibbled at his own bowl of dry cereal. Milk in cereal made Donnie scream, even if it was the kind that turned chocolate when touching the cereal.
"We should have another sleepover!" Mikey declared, nearly tipping over his chair as he stood atop it. "I can keep away all the bad dreams!"
"Scoff." Donnie rolled his eyes. "And what would you do, Angelo? How would you scare anything off? You can't get into Leo's head!"
Mikey growled a little at his older brother. "I'm better at it than you! Leo never screamed when he was having a sleepover with me!"
Donnie snarled and lunged across the small table, sending his bowl tumbling to the ground. Raph quickly jumped out of his chair to drag Donnie back, but it was too late. Mikey squealed, lurching back from the attack and pushing his chair onto its back legs. It wobbled for a few seconds before starting to fall back. "Mikey!"
But a small green blur suddenly darted in from the door, and then Leo was there, bracing himself against Mikey's chair and pushing it back onto four legs. "Leo!" Mikey spun around and hugged his brother from over the back of the chair. "You caught me!"
"Y-yeah." Leo gave a weak smile in response. "You okay, Mikey?"
"Uh huh," the box turtle chirped as he jumped down to the floor. "I'll get your breakfast!" He skipped over to the kitchen and began pulling out all the cereal. "Which one you want?"
"Uh, you pick." Leo waited for Mikey to nod, and then slid to his knees to begin cleaning up the floor.
"Oh no you don't." Raph released a surprisingly docile Donnie and picked up his other brother. "It's Don's mess, he cleans it. You need ta eat, Leo." He gave Donnie a warning look that had the softshell silently walking over to the small closet they kept the broom.
Rather than protest, like Raph half-expected, Leo just nodded as Raph set him down in the free chair. "Where's Dad?"
Raph pointed at the note, dangling from a magnet on the tiny fridge. "Food bank got a load of fresh produce, so Dad went out early to get some before it got snagged."
"Oh." Leo looked like he wanted to say more, but Mikey interrupted by shoving a full bowl of the knockoff Fruit Loops that Leo loved. Leo stared at the bowl for a few seconds before giving Mikey a shaky smile. "Thanks Mikey."
Mikey beamed and hopped back into his chair. "Eat up! You like that brand best." He kicked his feet back and forth as Donnie returned with broom and dustpan to sweep up the spilled food. "Did you sleep good?"
Leo shrugged and quickly spooned some cereal into his mouth. Raph sighed a little. He never thought he'd say it, but he missed the noise from when Leo wouldn't shut up about anything. The silence hung heavily as one brother ate, one swept, and one rocked back and forth. "So," Raph began, twiddling his thumbs a little. "What we gonna do today?"
"We could color!" Mikey immediately shouted, shooting up in his chair. "I can bring my best crayons and-"
"You always want to color," Donnie muttered, stalking over to the trash can and emptying the full dustpan. "I, on the other hand, was going to get some work done. I think I've almost got the heater you salvaged disassembled so we won't have to freeze during this winter and-"
"Boring!" Mikey groaned. "It's summer, Donnie! We won't need a heater for months and months!"
But before the two could get into another argument, Leo awkwardly raised his hand. "Um-I-uh..." He trailed off, slowly stirring his cereal and milk. "I have an idea?"
"You do?!" Raph gaped, causing Leo to flinch and hunch in on himself. That made the snapper feel bad, but Leo hadn't suggested anything to do in months! He just nodded along or threw his support in for one or more of his brothers. 'Come ta think of it,' Raph paused. 'When's the last time all four of us played together?' Thinking about it, not since...the day Dad had them pick their birthdays. The day Leo had started acting off. 'Was...was Leo always the one comin' up with stuff all of us could do?'
A sharp elbow dug into his side and Raph yelped as Donnie glared at him. "Ignore Raph. What's your idea, Leon?"
Leo's eyes darted from brother to brother, and Raph quickly smiled. He'd think about that later at the next LSL meeting. Right now, anything to help Leo be more like himself! "Whatchu got, Leo?"
The slider's stirring picked up speed. "Um-remember how in Jupiter Jim XXXIV, when everyone has to do the Gauntlet of Trials?"
"Of course," Donnie scoffed. "Atomic Lass saved the day by solving the Riddle of the Ancients and unlocking the door to the Room of Champions!" Raph nodded along, that was a good movie.
Leo perked up a little. "Yeah! Uh-I don't think we can do the riddle part, but I thought...maybe, we could do our own Gauntlet of Trials?" Leo slipped out of his chair. "I set some of it up already, I can show you." Then he froze. "B-but you don't have to do it! I can put it all back, you don't have to-"
"Let's go!" Mikey leapt from his chair, nearly tackling Leo to the ground as he caught him. "I wanna see, I wanna see!"
Donnie huffed and joined the pair, leaving Raph to stare at the table. Leo's bowl of cereal, half-eaten, sat there. The cereal was slowly dissolving into the milk, making a weird mush. For some reason, the sight made Raph's stomach twist. "Raph? You coming?" Mikey asked.
Pushing it aside, Raph jogged over. "Yeah, let's go."
Atrium
A Few Hours Later
It was working, it was really working! Leo couldn't believe this was really working! He couldn't help smiling as he lunged forward and leapt, sailing forward until he landed on the cushion. "Four cushions! Leo got four cushions!" Mikey cheered, waving his hands in the air. Raph whooped and even Donnie gave an approving nod as he recorded Leo's results on the clipboard. "My turn, my turn!"
"Go for it, little man!" Raph called out as Mikey took Leo's old spot against the wall. Leo rolled onto the floor and pushed the cushion back into place. Everything in place, Leo hurried to his brothers and took the clipboard from Donnie.
All of their 'gauntlet' results were recorded safely. From the number of push-ups they could do, (Raph had the most), to how long they could hold their breath underwater, (Donnie there), to the highest jumper, (Raph was the tallest, but Mikey had the best jump!) All the data Leo needed to use for the future. His brothers didn't suspect a thing, especially since Leo had stayed up creating little certificates for each 'trial' winner. He even pulled out the glitter gel pens from under his bed to sign the winner's names in his very best handwriting! Now there was just one more event before...the one Leo was most worried about.
"Alright...go!" At Leo's call, Mikey darted forward and jumped, pulling arms, legs, and head into his shell as he did so. He sailed forward, past three cushions, four, until gravity pulled him down to land on the sixth cushion. He bounced forward until he hit the wall on the far side. Sliding to a halt, Mikey popped his head out and whooped.
"Cheater!" Donnie snarled, pointing dramatically at the youngest turtle. "That's cheating! None of us did that! Disqualified! Disqualified!"
"You're just jealous cause you didn't think of it!" Mikey fought back, sticking out his tongue. Donnie growled, hands clenched into fists at his sides.
"Uh, whatchu think Leo?" Raph asked, hands held awkwardly in front of him in case the softshell needed to be grabbed. "It's your game. You make the rules."
Leo swallowed, eyes darting between his brothers before he reached out to awkwardly tug at Donnie's sleeve. "I...I think Mikey wins, but we don't count any of the bounces." It would be fine; Leo would just have to make sure Mikey always went in his shell when testing this!
To his surprise, Donnie turned his glare on Leo before sighing through his nose. "Sigh. Fine then. Fine." He stalked over to sit by Raph, muttering about idiot brothers. Leo tilted his head, confused. Donnie wasn't in second place, why would this bother him so much?
Shaking his head, Leo added a six to Mikey's score and picked up the orange gel pen. Carefully, he wrote out 'Michelangelo' on the certificate for 'Best Long Jumper'. "You win, Mikey." Leo smiled as he held out the prize to his younger brother. Mikey squealed and grabbed the paper, immediately going to add it to his stack. "Okay, next trial. 'Spot the Marbles!'" Leo picked up the small bag sitting next to the papers, and dumped out five colorful marbles into his palm. "Three of us will place these marbles somewhere in the room. They can't be hidden, they have to be visible," Leo stressed. That part was the most important. "The trial-goer will sit here with their eyes closed!" Leo grabbed one of the cushions and set it in the center of the room. "Once all the marbles are placed, the trial-goer has to point out where all the marbles are without moving from the cushion! Fastest time wins!"
"Ooh!" Mikey's eyes were glowing as he examined the marbles. "Pretty! I wanna place 'em!"
"Okay." Leo rubbed the top of Mikey's head as he looked from Raph to Donnie. Would it be better or worse if Donnie went first? "Um-"
"Nardo, you go first." With a firm nod, Donnie swiped the marbles from Leo's palm. "We'll place them."
Leo blinked and glanced at Raph, who looked just as confused as he was. But if Donnie wanted it... "Okay." Leo took a seat on the cushion and covered his eyes with his palms, squeezing them shut. He listened as his brothers moved around, Mikey giggling as Raph shushed him while Donnie muttered to himself. 'Donnie's on my left, and Raph's behind me. If Mikey's by him, then he's placing marbles either to my right or in front of me. So that means-'
"Okay, we're done." Donnie's voice pulled Leo from his thoughts. "Timer starts in three...two...one!"
Leo's hands fell down and his eyes darted around, taking in everything. "Green marble by Raph's room, right corner." He pointed to it. "Orange marble in front of my room, dead center." He turned to the left and smiled. "Purple and blue marbles bordering the ladder. Red marble," he glanced to his right and blinked. "Right next to me. Raph, how'd you place it so quietly?"
"Time! Fourteen seconds!" Mikey squealed and jumped onto Leo's back.
"That was so cool, Leo! You were so fast!" he cheered.
Leo laughed awkwardly. "It...it's not that big a deal. C'mon, who's next?"
Raph went next, taking twenty-three seconds to spot all the marbles. Mikey spotted the first four in ten seconds, then took another twenty searching for the purple one before finally noticing it. Then...it was Donnie's turn. Leo took a deep breath as he placed his marbles, watching Mikey and Raph out of the corner of his eye. 'Maybe it won't be that bad?' he thought as he picked up the watch they were using as a timer. 'Maybe Donnie's eyes were better at six, and didn't start getting bad until seven? Maybe we have time?' Aloud, he said, "Timer starts in three...two...one!"
As the softshell opened his eyes and looked around, Leo's stomach fell. Donnie was squinting, trying to pick out the tiny balls of colorful glass from a distance. As the watch kept ticking, Donnie's hands fell to his arms, slowly beginning to scratch. Leo bit his lip, watching Raph's excited face turn to concern, and Mikey's excitement fall. As they hit the one-minute mark, Donnie spoke up. "You-you weren't supposed to hide them. That's cheating."
Leo swallowed; Donnie's voice was flat. Mikey spoke up. "We didn't hide 'em. We can see the marbles fine. Right?" He glanced from Raph to Leo. "Right?"
Raph carefully took a step forward, hand hovering over Donnie's shoulder. "Donnie-"
"I'm home!" Dad staggered into the lair, arms loaded with boxes. Leo could smell the fresh greens from where he sat. "Where are my beloved-" He set the boxes down and then froze. "Donatello? What's wrong?" The question made the softshell shoot to his feet. Leo only got a glimpse of Donnie's face, streaked with tears before his brother ran into his room, slamming it shut loudly. The family stood there as the grinding sound that came from Donnie locking the door echoed through the lair. Leo stared down at his clipboard, barely registering how it was shaking in his hands. Dad took a deep breath. "Boys, what happened?"
"Uh-Um-Ya see-" Raph stuttered, clearly unable to explain. Leo swallowed again and stepped forward.
"Dad, Donnie can't see." The slider stopped the timer and peeked up at his father. "We...we were doing a Gauntlet of Trials and we got to 'Spot the Marbles' and..." Leo gestured to the marbles on the ground, glinting brightly in the sunlight. "Donnie couldn't see them. Not from where he was sitting."
The rat glanced down at the marbles, then walked over to take a seat on the abandoned cushion. He looked for a few seconds, and then nodded. "I see. Don't worry, my sons. I will speak with Donnie later, once he has a chance to calm down. We will fix this, I promise." Dad rose to his feet, reaching out to pat Mikey on the head and stroke Raph's arm. "Now, can you boys help me put the groceries away? I got plenty for the next few days."
Raph and Mikey silently followed their dad to the boxes, but Leo lingered, staring at Donnie's locked door. Squeezing the clipboard tight, his eyes fell on the small pile of certificates signed with Donnie's name in deep glittery purple. Leo carefully picked them up and tucked them under the clipboard for safety; he'd return them to Donnie later. The one for 'Spot the Marble', Leo peeled off and dropped it into the sewer. He didn't linger to watch it twist and sink into the deep.