Work Text:
Disclaimer: I own neither Beelzebub or One Piece I just likes the fanfiction.
Summary: First off this whole piece was inspired by this http://thekingofhate.com/forums/Thread-Anime-Meme-Posters?page=90 second one down.
“Hey are you my kid?” Sanji looked up at the new voice behind him—it was a voice he did not know and considering they were in the middle of the fucking ocean that simply should not be the case.
After that island of walking talking tea drinking jellyfish people…soon followed after by an island made entirely of chocolate…seriously even the people were made of chocolate….nothing should really surprise him anymore. Getting Luffy off that island with minimal causalities had been difficult…
However a grown man wearing a three piece suit with a giant yellow pacifier in his mouth, a headful of green hair-- and grinning at Sanji in a way that made him very uncomfortable... was a bit to much. He turned fully towards the man lounging against his table, pulled a cigarette out of his pack took his time lighting it and then took a leisurely pull before answering. “I’m guessing…here just guessing mind you but I imagine you must be looking for Zoro. He’s likely lifting impossibly heavy weights in the crows nest with his big toe or something.”
“Strange your scent. Ah it’s a marker he’s marked you interesting.”
“Marked me? Marked me for what? Hey personal space!” Sanji planted his foot on the guys face and shoved as hard as he could, the bastard barely moved.
“The crows nest you say…thank you!”
“Oi shit cook what the hell is going on in here?” Zoro was standing in the galley doorway swords drawn.
“Who the fuck is this guy-- and why the hell did you mark me—what did you mark me with? Take it off! Take it off now you hear me marimo!”
“Who the fuck are you?” Zoro asked the man.
“Stop ignoring me!” Sanji yelled.
“Ah so she named you Marimo?”
“Well then Mari-“
“First off my name is Zoro. This idiot calls me that.” He said casually flicking a thumb in Sanji’s direction.
“Ahh a pet name. While I will admit he has a certain appeal he certainly would not be a good choice for breeding. Those tiny little hips.”
“For what now?” Sanji said deceptively calm.
“Lovely skin—if a bit thin and—well male for my tastes.”
Zoro arched a brow, and put away his swords. “I see well that’s good to know I guess…but still who are you.”
“Kaizaru de Enperāna Beruzebabu Yonsei IV but you can call me papa!” He sparkled at Zoro.
Zoro cut them. “Oh you’re that guy. Well I’m going back to training call me for lunch shit cook!”
“Hey!”
“Is that anyway to treat the demon king much less your own father?! I want my touching reunion!” Said demon king as he dodged an instinctive swipe from Zoro.
“Um dude I just met you—and since I’ve never seen you once in all twenty-two years of my life. I think I can handle the rest of it without you in it.”
Zoro strode calmly towards the ladder leading to the crows nest. “Oh yea and if you run into any of my other crazy relatives tell them not to bother me or my crew anymore. It’s getting to be a pain…” he said looking over to his left where Nami had set up her shrine to Stephaine goddess of the sea…and was currently burning candles to her.. “Annoying.” He said again climbing up to ladder.
“Shut it Zoro! We all don’t have Goddess grandmother’s that can pop down to ask the ocean goddess to lay off –and since you refuse to use your connections us mere mortals have to rely on worship!”
“Ah…annoying.”
“Hey if you stand still for a second I can explain everything.” Kaiza—(oh fuck it from here on out he is being referred to as Beel) Beel said quietly.
Zoro sighed heavily, rubbed the bridge of his nose, then sat down and leaned back against the crows nest post. “You have five minutes, starting now.”
“Eh really?”
“Time it cook.”
“Don’t order me around asshole.”
“How am I ordering you around you’re the only one on the ship other than the witch over there with a watch.”
“Don’t insult Nami-swam!”
“Is this considered part of my time?” Beel asked nicely.
“From that question on.”
“It was a particularly cold feburary and I was bored—I’d finally done what my father never could do which was enslave the human world our demon world was attached to. So I decided to look for greener pastures and I found this world—this world full of challenges and demonicly strong people and fighter…your demon world is a virtual paradise in comparision to this human realm I’ll tell you that.-“
“Right. Can you get on with it? You have like 3 minutes left.”
“Okay right. Wandering around. Looking at places and stuff and deciding if I wanted to conquer this world…I saw your mother for the very first time. Oh she was—is still a beauty. All that fiery red hair—flashing green eyes—anyway we fell in love that winter, she informed me she was a goddess of battle and swords and that she could never be with a human. I explained I was the demon king—and that really set her off. She jumped out of bed, and screamed at me—threw fire at me then stormed out of the room never to be seen again.”
“Great story you’ve got one minute left.”
“Oh I got a very politely worded letter from your grandmother after you were born informing me that you were healthy after you are 22 years old I would be able to approach you so that you can make a decision for your allegiance.”
“My what now?”
“Will you be a demon or will you be a God? It is really all your choice.”
“Though it really isn’t fair considering you’ve spent most of your life with your mother…I can only imagine the terrible things she’s said about me. They are all lies by the way lies!!!”
“My mom never told me anything about you—because I’ve never met her. To the best of my knowledge gram gram said she gave birth to me and then put me in her arms and left. “
“Eh…really then? So do you want to be a demon-“
“Oh so you choose God then eh?”
“No. I choose human. Now go away.”
“You can’t choose human, there isn’t a drop of human blood in you.”
“Well that explains a lot.” Chopper said wisely Nami and Usopp nodded in agreement.
Zoro stood up, and scratched his stomach “Well I’m going back to training. Nice meeting you get off our ship.”
“For what it’s worth I tried to come get you several times—however your grandmother is a very formidable woman.”
Zoro nodded at him, then turned to climb the ladder to the crows nest. “Ah. Look if you see my mother tell her and everyone else to leave me the hell alone. I’m human damn it that’s my choice.”
Beel sighed, nodded once, then walked to the rail and jumped over. By the time Nami made it the railing he was gone.
“Wow. I just realized something!” Usopp said loudly. “ Zoro’s dad is the demon king…”
“Yea and?” Nami.
“So what does that make Zoro?” Usopp asked putting on his slick face.
“The demon prince?” Chopper supplied helpfully.
Then all was silent for a while as Nami began making calculations in her head, Usopp reeled from the shock and Chopper was just happy to be a part of the story.
Two Weeks Later…
“Okay everyone here?”
Luffy did a head count, “Okay everyone but his majesty that’s great! Where is his majesty anyway?”
“Napping on deck. Keep your voice down Luffy he might hear us.”
“Okay okay sheesh…Captains orders no more demon prince jokes we’ve had our fun and Zoro is starting to draw blood. We almost lost Sanji yesterday when he punched him through the railing.”
“OI I slipped!”
“And Usopp how’s your nose?”
“Still broken.”
“So we are all agree no more demon prince jokes, okay?” Luffy hopped up cheerfully, and headed back outside. “Oi Your majesty come play with me!”
Shortly thereafter was the sound of things breaking and a rubber man laughing like he didn’t have a homicidal demon god out for his blood.
A/N: I hope you liked it I wrote it in like 20 minutes during my breaks from my book--which by the way I will be focusing on solely until August 31st so I won't be around until then. Laters!