Chapter Text
Home
Akaashi Keiji always thought some evil villain would fall into his perfect life and ruin it; he was three then and by eight, he still believed those thoughts his younger self had, the only difference now was that his “perfect” life was ruined and ironically is wasn't caused by any form of life, no ill-minded human.
Fear—no, maybe Anxiety turned his life into something he never thought he would go through.
Akaashi blamed his anxiety for his parents divorce when he was eight, blamed it for the actions he chose when he was eleven, blamed it for the way he thought of the world, and himself.
All the blame was put on his anxiety, and now, older—smarter than his eight or eleven self, Akaashi realized how irrational he was to put the blame on something that didn't even know it existed, how stupid he was when he didn't even realize that he was unconsciously putting the blame on himself, his brain.
Akaashi turned in his bed, it was around 4am—he needed to get up in three hours.
Another sleepless night.
Those sleepless nights had become more common over the years—only coming around when Akaashi thought too much, worried too much, felt too much or too little.
A sleepless night meant he wanted to let loose, find something to distract himself with, yet he didn't move, he had been clean from anything that could cause harm for two years already, and going back wouldn't serve him any good anyway.
Akaashi turned in his bed again, looking towards his door, only to find a shorter, younger girl standing in front of the now open door.
Akaashi wasn't fazed, only blinked before sitting up.
“Niichan…I had a nightmare..” The younger girl whined.
The younger girl—Akaashi’s half sister, Nazumi, stood at the door, her plush in her hand and she was trembling slightly.
Akaashi hums exhaustedly, scooted over in his bed and lifted his blanket to invite the younger girl in.
Nazumi smiled and immediately took the offer.
Nazumi cuddled him and Akaashi slowly felt himself drift off.
. . .
Akaashi woke up to an empty bed, sun that was peeking from behind his curtains, and the sound of dishes and talking from downstairs.
Akaashi always liked these mornings at his fathers house, they were warm, boisterous, lively—it was the home, every tired hero wanted to go back too after a long war.
It was everything his mother house wasn't, the house he would be stuck at because his mother had full custody of him, because his mother was too prideful to let her only son get too far from her grip.
The thought of his mother’s cold and quiet house left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Akaashi shook the thoughts away and got up from the bed and went to freshen up before heading downstairs.
Downstairs, Akaashi found his father’s wife, and Nazumi having breakfast.
Akaashi took a seat.
His father’s wife—Madilyn Rylee—was the woman his father formerly betrothed his life to and took the name of. She was a stunning and educated woman, and Akaashi wouldn't hesitate to say that he loved her.
She smiled at him.
“Good morning, had a good night?” She asked, getting up to get Akaashi’s food for him ( a bowl of specifically dairy-free yogurt, oats, and fruits).
Akaashi grabs a spoon. “Good morning to you too, my night was quite uneventful.”
Madilyn hummed and gave Akaashi a knowing look. “Trouble sleeping?” She asked and Akaashi responded with a nod, she continued. “Why haven't you been taking your medication?”
Akaashi looked away. “I—I have been experiencing odd side-affects, and it's worse when taking the new anxiety medication as well.”
Madilyn Nods. “Want to see your doctor before you leave for Japan?" She asked, already pulling out her phone.
Akaashi raised an eyebrow. “My father and I have to be at the airport in around an hour.”Akaashi stated and Madilyn chuckled.
“I can make sure it'll go fast.” She hummed, already typing away on her phone.
Akaashi hums with appreciation.
. . .
It was around 8PM when Akaashi and his father made it to Tokyo, Japan.
8:30PM when they got into a rental car and were already on the road to Akaashi’s mothers house.
The ride was quiet at first, Akaashi watched the tall, heavily lit buildings being passed, then his father spoke up.
“I heard you visited the doctors earlier this morning, new medication?” His father said, turning down the music.
Akaashi looked away from the window. “Yes, I'm yet to take the sleep medication but Dr. Hed assured me that my medication would not collide as badly as it had.”
Akaashi's father nodded, then gave him a stern look. “Keiji do not forget to take them, I know how you get when it comes to your mental health, so please don't neglect it.”
“I'm aware, Oyaji.” Akaashi mumbled, watching his father smile at the usage of the informal name.
The rest of the ride was somewhat quiet, with the music that played quietly in the background.
When they got to his mothers house—a penthouse that was inside a fairly strict district that only let residents and certain visitors in.
His father parked in front of the building that his mother lived in.
“Hey, don’t overwork yourself, you're starting highschool, not getting your first and only job. You can screw up so don't be hard on yourself.” His father said, giving a sincere look to Akaashi.
Akaashi thought about his words then hummed. “Not too hard on myself, understood.”
Akaashi grabbed his things, not opening the door yet.
“Love you, Musuko, text me or Madi if anything happens—or you can go to your grandma’s house—”
“I assure you that I will be fine, Dad.” Akaashi cuts his father off.
Akaashi's father gave him a small smile. “I know,” he said before leaning in and kissing Akaashi’s forehead. “Be safe.”
Akaashi nodded and got out of the car.
. . .
The apartment was empty, just like it always was—quiet and lonely.
Akaashi made his way to his room, the room wasn't anything special, it wasn't like those american teen bedrooms with posters and things everywhere—just a plain room with plants as decoration.
The only thing that seemed to show any interest that Akaashi had was his desk that had books, a few pictures and a handful of awards on it.
Akaashi put his bag on the desk and sighed.
He needed to get ready for the night, he was going to be in highschool—highschool would determine his future, see who wants him afterwards, see what he is capable of.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
His father’s words replayed in his head and Akaashi took a deep breath.
Akaashi would take it easy this year, without overworking himself to get praise that’ll never come.
Akaashi gathered some clothes and went to take a shower, brush his teeth, and maybe even do some skincare if he has enough energy after.
After his night routine (And doing skincare) he pulled his medication out of his bag—lorazepam and Temazepam—his new medications, one for anxiety and one for his sleep.
Akaashi had already taken the lorazepam earlier on the plane when he started to twitch and felt restless about almost everything, starting with being in the air and ending with how his life would turn up.
Akaashi took the necessary amount of Temazepam and went to settle in bed.
Letting a deep sigh out, Akaashi snuggled up in the bed and went to sleep.