Chapter Text
"What are you painting?"
"Who is the painting for?"
"Why have you been acting weird?"
"Do you like someone?"
"Have you and Mike talked?"
Will had enough with all of El's questions. He loved El, he really did. She was his sister and he cared for her with all his heart.
During their time in Lenora, they had gotten closer. They would study together, watch movies together, and go on walks together.
Will loved their relationship. But he had started getting slightly annoyed with her recently. She wouldn't stop asking him questions about liking someone, the painting he had been working on for weeks, his behavior...
And Mike.
Will had barely heard from Mike since they had moved. But El got letters and calls from him constantly.
It made sense. They were dating. Of course they talked all the time.
But it was never like this before. Mike never stopped talking to Will because of El back in Hawkins. Why was this different?
Will glanced to the right of his painting to see El standing at his bedroom door. She was holding crumpled pieces of paper in her fists and looked upset.
"Can I talk to you, Will?" El asked him. Will nodded and El came in his room and sat on his bed. Will shifted his painting a little so El wouldn't see it, since he was right beside his bed where she was sitting.
"What's going on, El?" Will asked, looking into El's glossy eyes.
"I don't think Mike loves me."
That's not what Will thought she was going to say.
He hadn't known what she was going to say, but he didn't expect that.
He expected her to ask him a bunch of questions.
Not this...
"What?" Will gasped. "El, of course he loves you. He's your...boyfriend." That last part took a second for Will to say. He hoped El didn't notice.
"Then how come he never puts that in his letters?" She tossed the crumpled up papers to Will. He caught them and unraveled them while El continued. "He always writes "From, Mike" not "Love, Mike." I always put "Love, El" at the end of mine. He doesn't." Will looked at each of the letters and saw what El had been referring to. To his surprise, the letters weren't that long either. As he skimmed through them, he noticed that Mike was just briefly talking about their friends, school, and how he is growing out his hair. Nothing about missing El or loving her or...Much of anything.
Will remembered how last summer Mike had yelled to all of them how he loved El and couldn't lose her again. El wasn't there to hear, but Mike still said it. Will was there. He knew he said it. He remembered all too well. His chest had tightened when Mike yelled that. If Mike had said it then, why wouldn't he put that in his letters?
What changed?
"Maybe I'm just...Never good enough," El added.
"El, no, don't even say that," Will argued. "Mike is so lucky to have you and there's no way that he would ever think that. You're amazing, El, and he knows that." El looked away from Will and lightly shook her head.
"Then why doesn't he say it?"
"Maybe he's just nervous or..." Will thought for a moment. "Maybe he wants to say it to your face, you know?" Yeah, that must be it. Will moved from the chair in front of his painting to sitting beside El on his bed. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he wrapped one of his arms around her.
"I just—" El started, a tear spilling from her eye. Will squeezed her tighter. "Has he still not talked to you, Will?" Will shook his head and looked down.
"No letters, no calls. Nothing, El," Will sighed, feeling his eyes start to tear up. El took his free hand in one of hers and gently squeezed it.
"Maybe that means something," El said quietly.
"What do you mean?" Will asked, looking back at El.
"Maybe he needs to talk to you, but he doesn't know how to. Something about his...feelings," she said. Will's heart started racing. "I think he is scared to talk about his feelings with me. But he tells you everything and maybe he's trying to figure out how to talk to you about it."
But Mike doesn't tell him everything. At least, not anymore. If he did have something he needed to say, El was right—he would have told Will. So why hadn't he?
"He misses you," El whispered, letting go of Will's hand. "He talks about you a lot in his letters." Will smiled a little, but only for a second so El wouldn't notice. When Will had skimmed the letters earlier, he didn't see anything about him. Maybe mentions of him were in other letters, the ones El hadn't shown him. Why would Mike even talk about him in his letters but not actually talk to Will?
"Why don't you talk to him?" El added, lifting her head so she could look at Will. "I know you miss him too."
"I—" Will didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell El the real reason he hasn't tried reaching out to Mike. He couldn't tell her that he was scared and anxious. He couldn't let her know the truth. That would hurt her. It would hurt Mike too. "Well, I just..."
"The painting...Is it for Mike?" El interrupted, watching Will closely. Will darted his eyes away from El. Why did she have to keep asking about the painting? It was stupid, maybe he should just throw it away.
"What does that matter?" Will asked, still not looking at El.
"You won't show anyone, you don't talk about it...I don't know. I may be overthinking everything. I'm sorry, Will." When Will looked back at El he noticed tears rolling down her face. He brought his fingers up to her face and wiped the sadness away. He couldn't stand seeing her like this. He held her face in his hands even though his hands were trembling at this point.
"No, El, none of this is your fault," Will whispered. "I promise, you haven't done anything wrong." El nodded and leaned into Will, crying in his arms. Will wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. He knew he really couldn't tell El the truth now; it would hurt her even more. Will didn't want her to be in any more pain. She was clearly spiraling and Will couldn't risk making things worse.
After a few minutes, Will released El from his arms and she looked at him with puffy eyes.
"Is there something going on that I don't know about? Please, Will, I want to understand. I need to understand what is going on with Mike and what has been going on with you. I want to help."
Will started shaking, his hands trembling even more than before. He couldn't lie to El. He couldn't tell her the truth either. It could ruin her and Mike's relationship, ruin Will's relationship with El, and ruin Will's relationship with Mike. Will couldn't risk any of that. He felt like he was about to cry, looking everywhere but at El.
"Will," she whispered, taking his hands in hers. "Please talk to me."
"Well, actually—"
"Hey, kids!" Joyce announced, entering Will's room. El and Will let go of each other, startled that Joyce had unexpectedly interrupted their conversation. "I just spoke with Mrs. Wheeler and she told me that Mike could visit us next week!"
Will and El looked at each other.
What were either of them going to do now?