Chapter Text
Yuuji: jandjwndkwndkwjfjs
Sukuna: Why do you do that?
Yuuji: so what?
Yuuji: do*
Sukuna: Type a bunch of random letters.
Yuuji: oh it's called a keysmash
Yuuji: it's kinda like… a way to say "lol" or show you thought smth was funny
Sukuna: Strange. Just type "haha" or another expression.
Yuuji: texting "haha" feels passive aggressive ngl. just try it, press any key on your phone and then send
Sukuna: Hm.
Sukuna: J.
Yuuji: what're you doing
Sukuna: Working.
Yuuji: disgusting
Yuuji: quit your job
Yuuji: and call me instead
Sukuna: You want me to quit the craft I've spent my entire life honing? The thing that provides me security, food, and safety? Just to give you a call?
Yuuji: uh
Yuuji: yes.
Sukuna: Brat.
Yuuji: just say u hate me or smth idk
Sukuna: You're making it tempting. But, you can call me at any time you'd like.
Yuuji: YAY
Call Declined 2:30 PM
Yuuji: YOU DIDNT PICK UP???
Sukuna: I never said that I would answer.
Sukuna: I'm off work, brat.
Yuuji: ok
Yuuji: give a couple mins, call em in lie five
Sukuna: like* me*
Yuuji: >:[
Call declined 5:05 PM
Sukuna: Yuuji.
Yuuji: :3c
Sukuna: I won't be on my cellphone much today. I have an appointment scheduled with an old client.
Yuuji: ohh old client?
Sukuna: Yes. He's irritating, and doesn't take no for an answer. Somehow he got ahold of my personal phone number and keeps finding it no matter how many times I block and delete the contact.
Yuuji: lmao sounds like a fun dude
Sukuna: Never say that again.
Yuuji: dwdw I'm sure you got this in the bag, I'm sending you a million cheek kisses
Sukuna: Two million.
Yuuji: 3?
Sukuna: Just two.
Yuuji: oh ok.
Yuuji: I fed a seagull a chicken strip today
Yuuji: felt like I committed a crime against humanity
Sukuna: ?
Yuuji: iif you were a human earthworm I'd still love you
Yuuji: I'd sprits you with a spray bottle to keep u moist
Yuuji: and feed u whatever…… worms eat
Yuuji: youd be well housed and loved
Yuuji: romance <3
Sukuna: Stop texting my phone so much, it feels like it's going to explode.
Yuuji: oh ok
Sukuna: Wait.
Sukuna: No.
Sukuna: Come back.
Today 1:34 PM
Yuuji: I need you
Sukuna: Let's try this again.
Sukuna: Hi, how are you?
Yuuji: im good, hru
Yuuji: I need you
Sukuna: Do you have time to spend together this weekend?
Yuuji: why
Sukuna: Because I want to see you?
Yuuji: awwwwww do u like me or something
Sukuna: Unfortunately, yes.
Yuuji: do you like like me
Sukuna: Yuuji, we're soulmates.
Yuuji: do you like Christmas?? I love Christmas, I can't wait for winter
Sukuna: It's not even July.
Yuuji: the whimsy of Christmas is year round, have a holiday spirit, n e way do you get gifts from uraume?? Me and my family/friends do gift exchanges but they're usually p small
Sukuna: Uraume doesn't give me gifts. They know I think it's a useless, idiotic holiday. But I do get gifts from clients and old contacts who wish to keep my favor.
Yuuji: AWWWW do u sit on the couch or floor
Yuuji: U PROBABLY LOOK SO CUTE UNWRAPPING STUFF
Sukuna: I'm a grown man.
Yuuji: I can't wait to spend next Christmas togetherrrrrr !!!! I'll get you the best gift trust trust
Sukuna: I doubt it. I'll get you something even better.
Yuuji: ヽ(´▽｀)/ LETS GOO
Yuuji: meow
Sukuna: Meow
Yuuji: grown ass man over here
Sukuna: Brat, you'll regret that.
Today 7:38 PM
Sukuna: I'll call you at nine.
Yuuji: okay <333!!
Today 9:01 PM
Yuuji: all men do is lie.
Yuuji: can we talk about fish
Sukuna: Of course we can.
Yuuji: they think they're better than us
Sukuna: How dare they.
Yuuji: there's a fuckin oul outside
Yuuji: ouwl
Yuuji: owul
Yuuji: houl
Yuuji: oul
Yuuji: how the fuck do you spell it ?????
Yuuji: hoot hoot
Yuuji: there's a hooter outside my windoe
[Seen 4:21 AM]
Yuuji: so I have a real question for you
Sukuna: I am not going to rewatch human earthworm four.
Yuuji: not that type of question
Yuuji: what is like… actually your type??
Sukuna: Type? You mean what I find attractive?
Yuuji: yea, who or what about their personality and body ig
Yuuji: and also are you glad I'm a boy or would you have preferred that I was a girl
Sukuna: Well, the sex of someone has never been something I care about too much. I've recognized beauty in both man and woman. But for me, it's more about if I find them intriguing. Are they intelligent? Charming? Quick? Witty? Resilient? Etc. So all that to say, I'd define my "type" as someone who could keep up with me.
Sukuna: And no, it wouldn't have mattered if you were a boy or girl. I'd have liked you, wanted you, no matter what. Now, how would you define yours?
Yuuji: woah
Yuuji: uh
Yuuji: I was gonna say my type is tall with a big ass
Sukuna: Of course you would.
Yuuji: and I wouldn't have cared if you were a girl or boy either, esp bc you're already tall with a big ass
Sukuna: Yuuji.
Yuuji: I'm sure your tits would be amazing, they already are but—
Yuuji: you're at the hotel right
Yuuji: coming down soon??
Sukuna: Yes, I'm checking in now.
Yuuji: cool cool cool
Yuuji: Choso and gramps aren't here (ﾟωﾟ)
Yuuji: we could… uh
Yuuji: play mario kart now
Sukuna:
Sukuna: Sure, that sounds nice.
Today 12:32 AM
Sukuna: youre a cute boy
Yuuji: ?? wheres the grammar?? the capitalization ??
Yuuji: wait
Yuuji: are you drunk wifkekwj?
Sukuna: Maybe, that client I mentioned before, good booze
Sukuna: You're a cute boy.
Sukuna: is that better?
Yuuji: Kunaaa go sleep it off
Sukuna: but youre cute
Yuuji: and you're* really drunk
Sukuna: And* you're really cute.
Yuuji: drunk
Sukuna: cute
Today 9:00 AM
Yuuji: soooooo
Yuuji: you think I'm cute