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Ryland Grace hated high school sex ed with a burning passion. It was uncomfortable and at times it could be downright archaic— nobody in their right mind believed they would get an STD and die immediately if they so much as thought about sex, Mrs. Haverty.
He hates it even more now, with a plastic baby crying at the top of its fake lungs swaddled in his arms as he fumbles for its bottle. “You could be more helpful, you know?” He says, cutting his eyes to his partner for the baby project who stares at the thing like it’s grown eight heads and started eating pebbles straight off the ground by the fistful.
Rocky nods, pouting slightly, before reaching for the bottle and handing it to Grace. They’ve only just gotten the baby and he can only imagine how much this week is going to go by like walking on shattered glass.
Other babies in the class are also crying as Mrs. Haverty moves through the room in an attempt to tell the group of sophomores how to best care for them. Rocky sighs, looking across the room. “I wish I had been paired with Adrian,” he says, leaning on the desk with his chin on his palm.
Grace looks over to the other side of the room, where Adrian holds their baby in front of them by the foot. He watches as they dangle the baby, staring at it with an emotion he can’t pin down as it cries. He looks back to Rocky, who is whipped to the point of delusion. “I thought you wanted to pass?”
Rocky turns to Grace, offense heavy in his tone when he says, “Adrian and I would make wonderful parents and pass with ease.” Grace nods, the baby has finally stopped crying and he can’t find it in himself to worry about his co-parent's state of delusion.
It's Monday, and they, thankfully, have health class at the very end of the school day, so they don't have to suffer through any other classes with the baby just yet. They take the bus home, shoulder to shoulder in the packed vehicle. Grace holds little Vesper, or Harzburgite—they haven't really decided on a name yet— supporting his head as he rocks him gently. He had gotten a few wide eyed stares from the freshman and more than a couple knowing nods from upper class-men.
He and Rocky get off at the same stop, they'd been neighbors for as long as Grace could remember. It was nice, Rocky was one of the only constants in his life, and even though they didn't have many classes together this year, they always made time to hang out with each other.
Grace's parents aren't home, they rarely are these days. At some point between the end of middle school and the start of high school, they decided he was man enough to go at the world mostly alone. Or, not really alone because Rocky comes over nearly every day after school.
They study for a math exam coming up until the baby starts crying. Grace is in the middle of an equation so he glares at Rocky, who had been trying (really poorly) to attempt a headstand because he was passing the class with flying colors and was mostly just here for emotional support.
Rocky sighs, pulling Vesper— Grace is going to call him Vesper, just in his head until they can come to an agreement about the name— out of the nest of sorts they had made on Grace's bed to hold him in place. He's still crying by the time Grace finishes the problem. Rocky is shaking poor Vesper, actually and genuinely shaking him, not rocking him like they were instructed to do.
"Dude," Grace says, taking the baby from Rocky. "You're going to give our kid shaken baby syndrome." He rocks Vesper gently and the baby settles down in no time at all.
"You're going to give our kid shaken baby syndrome," Rocky repeats, to be annoying, watching Grace be a significantly better parent than him.
"I'll watch him tonight," he decides and Rocky is quick to nod along, easily accepting the fact that he doesn't have to deal with Vesper.
Rocky stays for as long as he can, but he's got a big family and if he's too late to dinner there won't be much left for him. Grace understands it, he always does, but he still feels a little sad when he waves his friend off and warms up a crappy frozen meal for himself. Having Vesper around is a bit nice, he supposes. The house feels a lot less empty when the baby cries out for attention. Maybe he misjudged how poorly this project was going to go, it'll probably be easy.
─────
It's Tuesday morning and Ryland Grace knows two things. One, he's never, ever going to have kids. He hadn't really found himself interested in having a family of his own, he had so far chalked it up to how well his current family is going for him, but now he knows he seriously isn't cut out for it. Two, Vesper is a spawn of hell, sent to punish him for a crime he has yet to commit.
Vesper cried every two hours last night. Grace decided at four in the morning that sleep doesn't pair well with the great joy of being a new parent. On the upside, being up for hours at this point gives him enough time to look presentable enough so that even if he can feel the weight of exhaustion pulling at him, he doesn't look like death.
He meets Rocky at the bus stop, leaning heavily on his friend as he holds their little bundle of evil. "Your son almost killed me last night," he says standing up on his own before shoving Vesper into Rocky's arms.
Rocky frowns, examining Grace's face for signs of genuine wear before looking down at the baby. "Little Harzburgite wouldn't do that, would you Harzie?" Rocky coos, wiggling a finger in their babies face. Vesper is quiet, for once in his life.
The bus ride is long enough that Rocky ends up having to feed Vesper to stop him from crying and bothering the rest of the tired teenagers on the bus. Grace nearly bangs his head into the seat in front of him when Rocky bounces Vesper slightly and the baby's voice box barks out something that resembles a laugh.
Rocky catches on. "What, did you two not have a good time?" He turns to the baby. "Does Harzburgite like me more, hm? Do you like papa Rocky more?"
Grace punches him in the shoulder, scrunching up his nose. "Dude, don't call yourself that." Rocky had so far been a less than ideal partner for the baby project— he had nearly given Vesper shaken baby syndrome the first time he got his hands on him, for goodness sake— Grace didn't quite think he had earned the abhorrent title of papa Rocky.
"What? Is it a crime to bond with our son? Maybe this is why he like me more, because I make an attempt." Grace doesn't dignify that with a response, he knows the hell that awaits Rocky will be enough to humble him.
The rest of the ride is quiet and Grace is quick to say goodbye to Rocky and Vesper once they get to school. He can kind of see the appeal of getting divorced as a parent, he can imagine loving Vesper if he only had to deal with him on every other weekend.
His classes pass like sand through an hourglass, they don't necessarily drag but he can feel every second of the hour. Grace is so glad for the reprieve of lunch he nearly forgets that he's a dad. That is until Rocky sits down at their table with force and is quick to transfer Vesper into Grace's arms. "I need to go to the store," he says, laying his head on the table. "To buy milk. I'll be back, I swear."
Grace looks down at Vesper before looking back at a very worn Rocky. "C'mon Rock, you can't be a deadbeat father. What happened to papa Rocky?" He holds Vesper close to his chest and leans down so that he's within the same eye line as Rocky, not that it means much, his friend's eyes are shut. Grace stares for a while anyway, just until Rocky shifts so his forehead lays against the table.
"He's dead," Rocky mutters into the table. "That beast killed him."
Grace gasps, like he's not guilty of having the same thoughts. "Don't talk about our sweet little baby like that." He leans back so he's not invading Rocky's personal space bubble anymore. Then he looks down at Vesper and gives him a little smile, which is stupid because it's a plastic doll that's tormenting them and he can't see Grace. It just feels right, for at least one of them to be nice to Vesper at any time.
Rocky scoffs. "There is nothing sweet about him, he gets all that from you, you know."
Grace makes an affronted noise in the back of his throat, once again seeing the appeal of divorce– this time for entirely new reasons. He pauses, remembering that Vesper is entirely inanimate and Rocky is not his husband so they can't even get divorced. Which is kind of a bummer, Rocky had quite a few things Grace would love to get in the settlement. "Who's the one whining like a baby after half a day with our son? How are you ever going to survive the night with him."
Rocky snaps up, eyes wide with fear. "Oh god."
─────
Grace sleeps like a baby Tuesday night. Well, maybe not like a baby because he sleeps through the night with ease but he can tell by the way that Rocky shows up to the bus stop looking haggard that Vesper did not sleep through the night.
He wants to take Rocky's face in his hands and try and wipe the dark circles away but he knows how futile that would be so he motions for Vesper, who Rocky gratefully passes to him. Rocky's taller than he is— something he had been sure to mention at least once a week since the growth spurt that got them to where they are now— so he stands behind Grace with his arms wrapped loosely around his shoulders and his chin resting on the top of Grace's head.
For the first time, with baby Vesper held tightly in his arms, Grace imagines that parenthood isn't too bad. Even throughout all the sleepless nights, if there are moments like this every now and again than he imagines it could probably be somewhat nice.
The bus ride is silent, Grace is pretty sure Rocky falls asleep leaning against him but he doesn't turn his head to check, too afraid to wake him. They part wordlessly, Grace smiles softly at Rocky before heading to class.
There are a few other students in his classes with fake babies of their own, so it's not too strange for Grace to have to step out of class to feed Vesper. He gets through his first two classes easily but the second he gets to AP US history, Vesper starts practically screaming.
His teacher glares as he leaves the room but Grace is a little grateful for the break, he can't stand the awful pacing of the class. If he was a teacher, he'd at least try to make it interesting for the kids instead of just sticking strictly to the curriculum. He sits with Vesper in the hallway probably longer than he should because by the time he comes back into the class, everyone's already packing up to go.
Grace makes it to lunch without any other noticeable hitches. Rocky has robotics club during lunch today so he makes his way to the library instead of the lunchroom, which quickly proves to be a bad choice when Vesper cries out. He leaves as fast as he can, all too aware of the eyes on him.
He ends up having to change Vesper on the floor of the hallway, has he already said that he never wants children? Nothing has solidified that feeling more than undressing his plastic baby on the dirty floor and searching in his bag entirely too long for one of the cloth diapers Mrs. Haverty gave them while his peers pass with their curious gazes.
This is, thankfully, the last outburst Vesper has during the school day. Grace starts feeling better about it somewhere towards the end of fifth period, when the light at the end of the tunnel (seeing Rocky in health class) starts to feel like something that he will be able to live to see.
He's the first out of the class when the bell rings, and he rushes to health. Grace throws a smile at Rocky before plopping down in the seat next to him. He passes Vesper over wordlessly. He's grown quite fond of the way they play hot potato with their son. "How's the day been so far?"
"I slept through math." He leans closer to Grace so that their shoulders brush together lightly. "And science. A bit of English too."
Grace laughs, leaning closer so that the light touch is something sturdier, like they're holding each other up— this is, Grace supposes, the epitome of having a child together. "Nobody woke you up?"
"Nobody succeeded." Rocky had always been a deep sleeper, Grace knew that. It was nearly impossible to wake him up, it was like he was entirely dead to the world. Mrs. Haverty comes in and starts class and Rocky doesn't move back, so they lean into each other for the entire class.
─────
Grace pulls an all-nighter, he had thought it over for a while, weighed the pros and cons before eventually deciding that the weight of complete exhaustion was easier to bare than whatever the pain of waking up every two hours does to his brain. He was slightly right, Thursday morning isn't as hellish as Tuesday morning was, but it doesn't feel quite like he's the one piloting his body and he kind of wants to throw Vesper off a really high cliff.
He's barely conscious as he walks to the bus stop, trying his hardest to not trip over his own feet. This baby project has got to be some sick and twisted way to torture high schoolers, all the teachers must have got together and decided they wanted really badly to ruin his life.
Rocky's words wash over him like a gentle song and he wants to fall face forward and lay in the grass until he becomes one with the earth. He barely registers that Rocky has taken Vesper and guided them both onto the bus and to their usual seat. Rocky let's him rest his head on his shoulder and the world fades out for a brief moment.
All too soon Rocky shakes his shoulder to wake him up and leads him off the bus. He walks Grace to his first period and hovers anxiously until the warning bell sounds. Grace tries to give him a reassuring smile but he only has the energy to stare blankly at Rocky. "I'll see you at lunch," Rocky says before setting off to his own class.
Grace does not end up seeing Rocky at lunch, his tired feet march him to the quiet sanctuary that is the library and he falls asleep in the back, at a small table tucked behind the bookshelves. He figures that Rocky won't mind too bad, with how concerned he was this morning. He tells himself that he'll just get a quick power nap through lunch, but he wakes up to someone shaking his shoulder, telling him that the library is reserved for Mr Doyle's sixth period science class and he knows he messed up.
He doesn't quite run, because they're not supposed to run in the halls and he can't afford to be caught doing wrong by a hall monitor right now, but he rushes to health class.
He's only four minutes late, a minute later and he'd have to schlep to the main office and get a late pass, when he sits down in his seat next to Rocky– who throws him a concerned glance before passing Vesper to him.
They're covering the chapter on birth to pair with the baby project and Grace thinks it's another step in the sick and twisted torture that is the set curriculum. Whatever sharp edges of sleep deprivation clung to him fades away when Mrs. Haverty puts on a video of a live birth.
"I'm never having kids," Grace says after class has ended and they're packing up. He looks down at Vesper before saying, "sorry, I love you. I can't stand you."
Rocky laughs before grabbing Vesper. "Well I want you, Harzburgite. I think you've been an excellent baby."
"Don't lie to our kid, Rocky. We don't want to teach him to lie." They walk to the bus together. Grace, at some point in the past couple of years, had begun to worry about Rocky's spatial perception because no matter how far apart they walked, Rocky always seemed to gravitate to him, bumping into him endlessly. Grace had tried to bring it up a few times but Rocky always waved it off.
"You could be significantly worse, Harzie. You could be real." Grace takes the window seat, just like always. "Where were you during lunch?" There's a hint of concern in Rocky's tone.
"I took a nap in the library." He doesn't mention the fact that he slept through half of his classes, he doesn't want to give Rocky a reason to be really concerned.
Rocky hums in consideration, mulling over if that was a good enough reason to skip out on having lunch with him, before he nods once. "I can't come over today." Grace tries not to deflate, he mostly succeeds but Rocky could see through him any day of the week. "I have to help clean out the attic, you could always join but I think you should probably get more sleep."
"Yeah," Grace agrees disappointment lingering in the back of his words, he shouldn't have skipped lunch with Rocky. He waves goodbye before unlocking his front door.
His parents aren't home, and Grace knows they have no plans of coming back tonight if the fifty dollars they left on the kitchen counter for dinner means anything. He resigns himself to another night of calling for a pizza, which had been fun the first few times but the independence felt suffocating now.
He's half asleep on the couch in the living room, as some awful movie plays on the TV, when there's a knock on the front door. He startles, checking the time on his phone. It's nearing one in the morning and Grace is cautious as he approaches the door, peering through the peep hole.
Rocky stands on the other side of the door, leaning heavily on the railing of the porch. Grace is quick to pull his friend inside, looking him over for anything glaringly wrong. "What's wrong?" He asks anxiously when their eyes meet. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"
"Your son is driving me insane," Rocky says tiredly, pushing past Grace and falling onto the couch. Grace had barely noticed Vesper in Rocky's arms in his worry until Rocky's laying down, curled around the baby.
"Oh, so he's my son when he's being annoying but your son when he's being great."
Rocky looks at him deadpan for a moment before saying, "yes, of course." Grace sits down next to Rocky, who moves to lay his head in Grace's lap. "I'm so glad this project is over tomorrow." Grace's hands find their way to Rocky's hair as he mindlessly plays with the strands while not quite watching the movie that's still playing on the TV, more so watching the colors move across the screen.
After a moment Grace hums in consideration. "I think we'll pass, we've taken care of Vesper to the best of our ability."
Rocky looks up at him. "Harzburgite," he says, mostly to be difficult.
"Sure, sure. Little baby Vesharzie," Grace says nearly deliriously. Rocky snorts a laugh at that before turning back to the TV.
The watch the colors pass in silence until they both fall asleep. Grace wakes up at four thirty in the morning with a crick in his neck and the sound of their baby crying. He sighs, taking Vesper, Vesharzie, from Rocky's arms and as carefully as possible maneuvering himself out from under his friend. He takes Vesharzie to the kitchen, rocks him for entirely too long before realizing that's not what the baby wants from him. Vesharzie settles down after Grace feeds him and he makes his way back to the living room.
Rocky has moved, smushed himself as far back into the couch as physically possible. It leaves enough room for Grace to slot himself down next to Rocky, which he does. He then proceeds to sleep for a few more hours.
He wakes to Rocky watching him with wide eyes. He looks down to see little Vesharzie cradled between the two of them. He stands, stretching. "We're going to be late," Rocky says, still staring at him.
Grace pauses mid stretch and whatever comfort laid heavy in his bones immediately sinks out of him. He reaches into his pocket and fishes out his half dead phone to check the time. They've got ten minutes at most to get to the bus stop. "Why didn't you wake me up?" Rocky shakes his head wordlessly, wide eyes still on Grace.
They end up getting to the stop in the nick of time, Grace in a semi decent outfit— in his opinion! Rocky didn't comment on his 'I wear this shirt periodically, but only when I'm in my element' shirt but he did stare at it for a moment before nodding with a resigned look in his eye— and Rocky in the sweatpants and threadbare band shirt he had shown up to Grace's house in last night. They forget Vesharzie on the couch, and Grace makes Rocky run back to his house to grab him, they are wonderful parents.
Somehow they do end up passing. They come in second best for their score in the class, which makes Grace wonder briefly what the heck everyone else was doing with their baby. Adrian and the person they were partnered with get first place. Rocky turns to Grace smugly when Mrs Haverty announces that and Grace, in turn, rolls his eyes.
He goes back to an empty house and he finds that he misses Vesharzie, just a little bit. But then Rocky knocks on his door, ready to study for another test, and Grace knows he's got everything he needs.