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Zedaph laid his body across the cement roof of his apartment building. It wasn't a very large building, just a few stories tall, fitting for the location. The city wasn't large by any means, but it was still too large for Zedaph's standards. Everything felt too big here, too industrial, too modern, too different, even if he knew he needed the different.
He reached his hand up, as if trying to take hold of the cold night sky. He looked past his fingers and saw nothing. Well, not nothing, but in his eyes, the sky was less than nothing here compared to what he used to know.
Zedaph's eyes landed on a moon, nearing the halfway visible mark. He noticed the small lights of a plane flying above, far too high up to notice any details. And then he noticed the empty blue void that held nothing else.
Back home, or at least what used to be more of a home to him, that void was black, and not all that empty. If anything it was barely black, considering how the stars filled it like diamonds or glitter.
The city, and even the suburbs, were far too brightly lit up compared to the countryside for Zedaph's taste. The lights followed wherever he went here, there was no such thing as real darkness.
He shivered, the night breeze finally catching up to him. Zedaph let the uncomfortable feeling engulfe his body, finding it quite fitting for the moment. He had no word for his current emotion, but the air felt as if it already knew everything about him.
He looked back up to the sky, and when he found nothing, he started to tear up. He didn't understand why, or at least why it made him cry. He understood the reason behind the empty sky, but he didn't know why he would get emotional over something that seemed so unimportant.
The stars were still there, he just couldn't see them in the city. The stars would never be truly gone, just hidden from view. Hidden from Zedaph's view.
A singular tear made its way down the side of his head, landing in his hair. He didn't bother wiping it away. The wet line dried up quickly, leaving his skin slightly tight where the tear had fallen, and yet still he didn't wipe the feeling away.
He was laying flat, in a star shape as his arms and legs stretched out wide. A star shape that had no reflection above.
He heard the push of the heavy metal door that led to the roof, followed by quiet footsteps. "Zedaph? Is that you up here? Why did you leave bed?" Zedaph recognized that voice anywhere, and yet still he didn't respond, knowing Tango would understand.
The steps got closer and closer before they stopped right next to Zedaph's body. Tango shifted his weight, trying to make it easier to join Zedaph on the cement.
He laid down, body touching Zedaph's, head resting on the other's outstretched arm. "Do you want to talk about it?" Tango's words had a genuine warmth to them that Zedaph still was not quite used to.
"It's..." Zedaph tried to find the right words. There was something wrong, he just didn't know what. "It's the stars, I think." His voice felt heavy in the air.
Tango looked up, trying to see what he meant. His eyes wandered a sky he knew all too well, but it didn't take him long to know what Zedaph meant. "... Missing home?"
"That place isn't a home anymore." He didn't intend for the words to come off harsh, but it was too late to fully control his tone anymore.
"Sorry, sorry." Tango shrank down ever so slightly.
"But yeah, I think? I don't know how I could ever miss a place like that." Zedaph's eyes continued to survey the sky, looking for even just one star.
"It's okay to miss the good parts of a bad thing," Tango tried to explain. He knew that Zedaph didn't like to talk about his childhood all that much, so he never pushed, even if all he wanted was to help the person he cared about the most.
"It's hard to think anything from there could have been a good thing."
Tango wasn't quite sure how to compete with that, so he stayed silent. They were laying down together without a word for what could have easily been several minutes. Zedaph continued to look at the sky as Tango looked at Zedaph, still trying to think of a reply.
Tango's body kept Zedaph warm as the breeze slowly made Tango cooler. The world wasn't quiet, but right now, it felt like nothing else made a sound besides the breath and heartbeat of the other.
Tango's mind finally landed on a response that he thought was good enough. "Maybe you need to see the stars again, but somewhere you can learn to love. Somewhere that can replace the memories of the past."
"If you're telling me to change career paths and become an astronomer, then I have some bad news for you, I'm never leaving the lab." Zedaph's tone felt lighter than before. He felt safe, genuinely safe.
"Oh, no, I meant something like camping. Maybe we could head out to a cabin, just me and you, for a week. We could look at the stars every night." Tango was getting excited over an idea Zedaph hadn't even agreed to yet.
"You, camping?" Zedaph poked.
"There's a reason I said cabin not tent," Tango confessed. "It would be just me and you, in the woods, for a whole week." Tango yawned as he tried to convince Zedaph, getting too tired to be up much longer.
"You, me, and the stars," Zedaph clarified. "But yeah, that sounds pretty nice." Zedaph finally looked away from the empty sky, turning his head to match Tangos.
Their faces were only a couple of inches apart, but neither closed the gap, not this time. This moment would be left as is, an innocent look held between two people who cared most about the other, and nothing else. There was no need to close the gap to prove it.