Chapter Text
July 1st, 1994
To Miss H. Granger,
I have been attempting to write this letter for days, but I have not been able to find any words that appropriately convey how sorry I am. I understand if you don't want to accept my apology. I simply ask that you hear me out, rather than ripping this letter into shreds (which, given my previous behaviour, would not be unreasonable).
It is no secret that the world I come from, and was raised in, does not accept wizards and witches born of Muggle parents. Growing up, I was taught that hatred was the only reasonable reaction. My father especially has drilled this hatred into me since I have been able to walk, repeating over and over the importance of blood purity and only allowing me to mingle with people he approved of. He said muggleborns were unworthy. Unintelligent. I thought that was just how the world worked. So, naturally, meeting you in our first year completely confused me. Here I was, taught from the day I was born that people with your heritage were naturally inferior to me in every way, and there you were, challenging me and surpassing me daily without even a slight struggle. This was the world I was raised in, and you adapted so naturally. I suppose that was when I really started questioning my family's ideals.
However, I don't wish for you to take this as me excusing my behaviour towards you in the past. Even this year. Instead of considering that maybe my father was wrong, I responded to your intelligence with prejudice and cruelty, which wasn't fair. I called you such despicable things. I don't expect you to ever forgive me for that, Granger. I think it was your right hook that made me reconsider. Again, you showed your strength and completely upstaged me, proving yourself by showing you didn't have anything to prove. And at first, I considered reacting how I usually would. I let hatred consume me for just a fraction of a second, and it terrified me. The anger felt like fire. I didn't want to let myself be consumed by it like my father had.
I can't promise to have undone fourteen years of the ideology forced on me, and I know that a feeble apology does not make up for three years of torment. I suppose I just wanted to try make things right. Take accountability. So, again, I am so deeply sorry, Granger. I hope you have it in your heart to forgive me, but if you don't, I completely understand.
Yours sincerely,
D. Malfoy.
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July 4th, 1994
To D. Malfoy,
I have to admit I was completely shocked when I received your letter two days ago. At first, I thought you were joking. I did almost considered ripping up your letter and ignoring you completely. But I have decided to give you the benefit of the doubt, temporarily, so long as you can prove that you aren't doing with ill intent.
Assuming you are being serious, I appreciate your apology. You're far from the first person to torment me because of my blood status or the way I look, but you're the first to apologise for it, which I am still wrapping my head around. I did not realise how enforced pureblood ideals were among families like yours - I knew you were serious, of course, but I can't imagine living under that amount of control, unable to really make your own choices with who you decide to spend your time with. I can't imagine living under those standards, and I am sorry that was your childhood.
What I cannot manage to believe, however, is that your father would approve of your sudden change of heart. I may have only met Lucius Malfoy once, but he does not seem particularly receptive to new ideas. What caused this sudden change of heart, if you don't mind me asking? Beyond my punch to the face, of course. I do not wish to interrogate you, this just seems very out of the blue and I'd rather have all the evidence in front of me, which I'm sure you would understand.
As for forgiveness, I don't want to hold it over your head. At the same time, if you are serious, it will take some time for me to forgive you completely. I can see that you're trying to change who you are and what you believe, which is admirable, but some things take longer than one letter to forgive. I think what you're doing is important, Malfoy, an excellent first step. I can't believe I'm saying all this, especially to you, but if you need someone to talk to about this, I am willing to be here for you. I'm not sure how your current friends would receive your change in world views, so if you feel like you can't talk to them about this, you can talk to me. Do not make me regret that.
Yours sincerely,
Hermione Granger.