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Finding out your crush wasn’t reciprocated wasn’t exactly a brand new concept. The chances of getting with someone you like were extremely low and that wasn’t even including people like them.
But finding out your friendship wasn’t reciprocated? A friendship that was so incredibly important to you only for the other person to not even care that much about you? That was soul crushing.
The entire way back after some glances from Yuriko that could only be read as I told you so and some snickering from Creed of all people, Morph felt empty. Four became three, then three became two. It was an unfortunate situation that Morph couldn’t get out of unless they took Sabertooth's saccharine teasing seriously and followed the guy off the jet. Would it be worth it to see the way Logan would react? At this point, Morph didn’t know if Logan would even care.
The silence was frustrating. There were so many things Morph wanted to scream at the guy and they all ended with why didn’t you trust me? They flinched just thinking about it. This entire mission could have gone so much smoother if Logan just told the team what he was doing, didn’t invite his gaggle of exes along and told Morph the truth.
And maybe Morph wouldn’t be wincing with every breath in as the space just beneath their collarbone throbbed alongside it.
“Nearly back,” Logan grunted, violently snapping Morph from their thoughts. Their sudden jerk was enough to earn a sidelong glance from Logan. “Yer’ quiet,” he spoke again and this time Morph couldn’t hold their tongue.
“Gee, I wonder why!” They snapped back, only to wince again when their wound ached with the sudden turn of their head. Morph wasn’t sure if it was a mind over matter situation or something because no matter what, they couldn’t get the wound to close completely.
“It givin’ you trouble?” Logan had the nerve to ask and if not for knowing the pain glaring at him would bring, Morph would one hundred percent be doing that. Instead, they stayed silent, hoping it got the message across.
Logan shifts in his seat slightly, hands flexing around the steering wheel. “Y’know I didn’t mean it.” If Morph were a stronger person, they’d have been able to ignore the way the pitiful words made them feel, but Morph isn’t stronger and they look back over to Logan. Slowly, this time.
Their voice breaks a little when they respond, “I know.”
Logan meets their eyes this time and Morph goes to look away quickly. “Yer’ still pissed, though.” He cannot be serious. Was he doing that thing where he pretends to be stupid to make them laugh? It was absolutely the wrong time.
Morph stills, glaring at Logan, “Why do you think? You stabbed me, Logan!” To his credit, Logan looks a little apologetic, but it doesn’t last long as it gets replaced with annoyance.
“I already said—”
Morph slams a fist against the back of the chair with a shout, turning their whole body towards Logan. “I know what you said! I can still be mad, Logan! You- you didn’t even recognise me, didn’t stop when I tried! I had to turn into—” Morph loses their steam, slumping against the chair with a sigh. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter.”
There was no point arguing about this with him. How many others had tried and failed? If Logan didn’t think they were close enough to disclose the actual reason for this mission to them, why would he even entertain Morph’s attempts at bringing up Jean in a negative way?
“She means a lot to me,” Logan mumbles, like he didn’t actually want Morph to hear it. They just scoffed, turning back around in their seat to face the controls again.
“That’s putting it lightly,” they shook their head, glaring at their own lap. Logan was willing to kill everything and everyone but if anything wore her face, they’d be spared. Their fists tightened against their lap at the idea. The fact that they thought they’d be able to help break Logan out of the Brood’s control as themself was laughable. Just because Logan tried it with them to some success when they were under Sinister's control doesn’t mean it would work the other way around…
Logan sighed, like what he was about to say physically pained him. “You do too, bub.” Morph almost laughed out loud at that. Not enough, clearly.
“Right,” they just nodded, uninterested in his attempts at getting them to feel better. Their response apparently wasn’t good enough, though and Logan growls, causing them to look up again.
“You do,” he repeated, looking stern. “That wasn’t me back there, y’know that. I didn’t tell ya’ ‘bout the mission cause I thought you’d… I don’t know.” Logan shakes his head, like he’s dismissing a thought. “Point is, I didn’t mean ta’ hurt ya’. I never would’ve done if I were all there.”
It’s the most apology-like thing Morph is ever going to get out of him and they know that, so they just nod, not trusting themselves to do something ridiculous and cry. Once again, Logan isn’t pleased with their response, but this time, he turns the jet on autopilot and gives Morph his full attention.
“I know,” Morph nods again, avoiding his gaze.
“I don’t think ya’ do,” Logan says pointedly, leaning closer in an awkward position from where he was sitting. It leaves Morph to breathe out deeply. Fine then, maybe their friendship wasn’t unrequited, but it still wasn’t on the level Morph believed. Not like it was when Logan had practically followed Morph across the world to bring them home.
“Logan, why didn’t you tell me the truth? We’re supposed to be friends, best friends.” Logan flinches the slightest amount at that, but Morph doesn’t back down. “You think I wouldn’t have come with you or something? I know how important this is to you,” they gesture to his balled up fists, gloves torn from how often he’d been messing with his claws.
Logan huffs, “I knew you’d get defensive ‘bout it, like earlier.” Morph wants to shout at that, defend themselves, but what would the point be when they’d done what Logan had feared? It’s kind of painful how they’re sitting now, leaning over the chair to get closer to Logan who’d done the same earlier, but they don’t let it deter them.
“You think so little of yourself, Logan. I hate it. I wouldn’t have been mad, I’d have just said the same. You’re not just this,” they reach out and take hold of his hand, squeezing it slightly. “You’re not an animal, you’re not unlovable. I wish you’d let yourself see that.”
I wish you’d let me show you.
Cowl or not, Morph has known Logan too long to know that scowl. Not out of his usual anger, but genuine sadness. A rarer sight, but Morph had seen it all before, usually when it came to her.
“Yer’ too hopeful, bub. I’ve always liked that ‘bout ya, though. Never one to quit. ‘S why I let ya’ come with me even when I was worried ‘bout what you’d say.” Logan doesn’t pull his hand away, instead moving it slightly in Morph's hold. “I needed someone in my corner, no matter what came after.”
Morph nods, holding as serious of a face as they can, “And then you stabbed me.” Logan blinks a couple of times before snickering, pushing Morph away as they giggle. Logan recovers quickly and despite it being worth it to see him smile again, Morph mourns the shared touch.
Their laugh jostled their wound more than expected, leaving Morph to bite back a groan, hand flying back up to hold it. Logan’s instantly frowning again and Morph waves him off quickly. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.” He pays Morph's words no mind, getting to his feet.
“Lemme see,” his words are quiet and so unlike him that Morph hesitates, a little thrown off. They move their hand, shifting their uniform away so Logan could see and he leans a little closer. “Yer’ not healing it?” he sounded genuinely confused when he asked and Morph shook their head.
“I can’t. Not properly, anyway.” God, Logan looks miserable. “D-don’t worry! Like I said, I’m fine and it won’t even take me that long to heal!” Imagine that, trying to make the guy who stabbed you feel better…
Logan shifts his weight from one foot to the other before placing a hand on their chair. “I really didn’t mean to, ‘m sorry,” Morph's eyes go wider than they thought possible for a moment before collecting themselves.
“It’s fine!” they say quickly, “You weren’t yourself—”
Logan cuts them off, “It’s no excuse, I hurt you. I swore I never would after we got ya’ back, I never wanted to lose ya’ again.” They were absolutely turning red at that, so Morph tried to look anywhere but Logan’s face.
The chair groans as Logan squeezes it tighter. “Y’ do mean a lot to me Morph n’ I’m sorry ya’ had to change.” Morph gathers the courage to meet his eyes, a little frightened at the acknowledgement. He wasn’t supposed to know that. He wasn’t supposed to know that doing that upset them.
“It’s…” they get stuck on their words. What were they even going to say? It’s okay? Because it wasn’t, it definitely wasn’t. It left them feeling like shit knowing that them being themselves wasn’t enough to get Logan to pause, to freeze, to do anything other than attack mindlessly.
“I had to help you,” they settle on, trying their hardest to smile in a way that didn’t look so pained. Logan huffs, cursing under his breath as he looks to the side. His grip tightens some more on the chair and Morph briefly thinks it’ll snap in two.
Logan looks back at them, confident. “Yer’ enough, I swear.”
Morph stares in silence, unsure of what to say. There was no way Logan was like them, no way his words meant anything more than friendship. Morph couldn’t even entertain the idea before the jet beeped loudly, signalling they were coming into land. Logan takes his seat, switching autopilot off to land them someplace safe.
All Morph could do was watch, slightly hopeful.