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1) Bruce
The first person Steve asks is Bruce.
“Is Bucky seeing someone?”
Bruce blinks at Steve. “And you’re asking me instead of Sam or Natasha or Clint because…?”
Steve shrugs and Bruce gets a glimpse of the smaller more awkward Steve Rogers before the serum. “He talks to you.”
“James and I meditate. There’s not much talking involved. And even when we do talk, it’s usually because he has questions about me dealing with the Other guy.”
Steve huffs and plops onto the seat across from him. “So he’s never mentioned anyone to you?”
Bruce shakes his head, still amazed that Captain America knows how to plop. “Sorry Steve. I’m afraid I can’t help you there.”
Steve smiles. “That’s okay. Thank you though.”
Bruce nods and goes back to his work. When Steve doesn’t leave after 5 minutes, Bruce glances at him to find Steve staring blankly at the ceiling.
“Steve?”
“Yeah, Bruce?” Steve doesn’t stop staring at the ceiling. Bruce sighs.
“Would you like to meditate for a little bit with me?”
Steve looks at him and smiles sheepishly. “Thanks, Bruce."
Bruce nods, tossing a yoga mat at him. “Anytime.”
-
Bruce finds Bucky in the garage. Turns out Bucky used to be quite the mechanic and now spends chunks of his days finding and fixing old beat up cars. His current project, a 1965 Shelby Daytona Coupe that he found in the junkyard close to Sam’s place, is looking significantly better than the crumpled mess he brought in last week.
Bruce walks up to where Bucky’s feet are sticking out from under the car. He crosses his arms and looks at Bucky sternly even though Bucky can’t see him. “Just tell him, James.”
Bucky slides out, scowling deep.
“No,” he says, chin jutting out like an indignant child. “Absolutely not."
“He came to ask me if you were seeing someone. Then he meditated.”
Bucky blanches. Steve Rogers does not meditate. “Well shit.”
“Exactly.”
Bruce turns to leave. “Tell him before I do. God forbid he comes to meditate again. The Other Guy might actually show up next time.”
**
2) Clint
They’re in the middle of a mission, Clint firing an arrow at some icky looking purple alien when Steve turns to him and asks.
“Hey Clint?”
“Yeah?” Down goes another alien. 78 Clint, 0 for the aliens.
“Is Bucky seeing someone?”
Is Cap serious right now?
“Not that I know. Why are you asking?”
“He’s been weird lately. Real chipper and I want to know why.”
Clint almost laughs. And he thought he was dumb.
“Maybe he’s just happy, Cap.”
Steve huffs. “I know that,” he says, sounding not unlike a 6 year old. “It’s just that before, Bucky only ever got that happy when he had a dame on his arm and Bucky hasn’t mentioned anyone to me at all.”
Clint narrowly dodges a one-eyed blue thing and Christ where are all these bastards coming from?
“Sorry Cap. I’m afraid I don’t have any intel for ya.”
Steve sighs, running through the green glob in front of him and splattering it’s remains everywhere. “That’s okay. Thanks anyway.”
“Sure thing. Now if you will excuse me, I got more aliens to kill.”
79 Clint and still, 0 for the aliens.
Damn is he good at his job.
-
They’re down in the new fancy simulator room Stark built in his Tower, saying something about how they had to up the ante now that 3 of the world’s best assassins lived in the building. Whatever SHIELD had before was apparently inadequate so Stark built a whole new thing which was fine by Clint because he’d all but memorized the course at that point and it was getting boring.
“Hey Barnes,” Clint calls out as Bucky takes down a hologram right between the eyes. Nice. “Guess what happened to me today?”
“Let me guess. You got stuck in the vents again?”
“Haha very funny. It was only twice and the second time was because you shoved a giant inflatable duck in there.”
Bucky grins, clearly remembering the sound of Clint shrieking as the duck started to inflate out of nowhere. “Good times, that.”
“Anyway,” Clint says, interrupting Bucky’s trip down recent memory lane. “Cap asked me if you were seeing someone.”
Bucky sighs, still making his shot. Ooh right in the jugular.
“Just tell him, Barnes.”
“Only if you tell Nat.”
Clint pales. “Fuck off.”
Bucky cackles. “Yeah that’s what I thought.”
**
3) Natasha
He brings it up with Nat the next time they spar. He’s on the mat, neck wedged between her Thighs of Doom when he looks up at her and asks. “Is Bucky seeing someone?”
Natasha blinks at him, her grip on him loosening. “You’re asking me this now?”
Steve shrugs, or shrugs as much as one can in a headlock. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”
Natasha lets him go and stands, offering a hand to pull him up. “I’m not saying I know anything but if James told me and didn’t tell you, what makes you think I would tell you?”
Steve, Captain fucking America, whines. “Naaat. You’re supposed to be on my side!”
“Please. The only side I’m on is mine.”
It isn’t a complete lie. Natasha always picks herself first. But sometimes what she wants is what James wants. A part of her is always gonna be loyal to him and Steve knows this.
Steve, of all people, understands this.
“Nat you have to tell me. Please.”
“Rogers, why don’t you just ask James himself?”
Steve deflates and is that hurt on his face? “If Bucky hasn’t told me about it already, he’s not gonna tell me if I ask. For whatever reason, he doesn’t want me to know.”
He sounds so small and sad that Natasha wants to yell at Bucky for being an idiot. But also, she wants to yell at Steve because he’s being an idiot.
Natasha sighs. “Look, just, try asking him alright? Who knows, maybe he’ll let you know.”
Before Steve can give her a smart ass retort, she kicks his legs out from under him. “Now c’mon. I have an hour before I have to head out to Cambodia. Let’s go.”
-
“Your boy’s an idiot.”
Bucky snorts, elbow deep in flour. “Tell me something I don’t already know.”
“He asked me if you were seeing someone. I take it he still hasn’t come to his senses?”
Bucky keeps whisking his batter though now he seems to be doing it with a vengeance. “He’s an idiot.”
Natasha laughs. She dips a finger into the mix, ignoring Bucky’s protests, and hops off the counter.
“Just tell him, James!” She calls out over her shoulder as Bucky grumbles about hygiene and kids these days.
**
4) JARVIS
Steve comes back to an empty apartment.
Bucky isn’t here.
Bucky is always here.
Steve panics. He flings open every door and every closet, getting down on his hands and knees to check under anything high enough that Bucky could hide under. He even looks in the damn oven but there’s still no Bucky.
Why is Bucky not here?
It’s not that Bucky can’t go out. He’s completely free to do whatever he wants. It’s just that Bucky always tells Steve if he’s heading out. Sometimes he drops Steve a text or leaves a note on the fridge but there’s no note from Bucky. He’s just -
Gone.
Oh God Bucky’s gone.
“Captain Rogers?”
Steve jumps, ready to grab his shield when he realizes it’s just JARVIS.
“Yes Jarvis?”
“Your heart rate is elevating to an alarming rate. Should I call someone? Mr Wilson perhaps?”
“No,” Steve chokes out. “Everything’s fine. It’s just - do you know where Bucky is?”
“Yes I do. Sergeant Barnes went out for lunch approximately half an hour ago. I believe he was going to the new Romanian place on 5th and Buxton to meet someone.”
“Oh.” Bucky just went out for lunch. He didn’t leave Steve.
Somewhere in the back of his head he can hear Sam telling him that him freaking out like this was probably unhealthy but he tells in-his-head Sam to shut up and let him be.
Wait a second -
JARVIS said Bucky was going to meet someone?
“JARVIS? Did you say Bucky was seeing someone?”
“That is correct, Captain Rogers.”
Aha, he was right! Bucky was seeing someone. All his poking around has finally paid off. Take that Sam!
He should be happy. He was right.
So, why does Steve feel like his entire world just fell apart?
**
He doesn’t know why it bothers him so much.
(Okay, that’s a lie but he’ll never admit it to anybody ever)
But a big part of him is hurt that Bucky is keeping secrets from him. It’s Steve and Bucky for crying out loud. They’ve never kept secrets from each other, ever.
Or at least, not until now apparently.
He curls up tighter in his blanket fort. Well if Bucky doesn’t want to tell Steve, then that’s fine by him. Steve doesn’t care. He has Sam.
Maybe he will ask Sam out after all.
Steve almost laughs at that thought. That would never work. It’s always been Bucky for Steve.
Always have been, always will be.
And if that means having to watch Bucky be happy with someone else, so be it. He’ll smile and laugh and put on a show if it means Bucky’s happy. Bucky deserves to be happy.
But since he doesn’t have to do all that quite yet, Steve is just going to wallow in his misery among the very warm, very comfy blankets Bucky knitted him.
Because if he can't be with Bucky then he's going to take whatever little he can get.
**
+ 1
5) Bucky
Bucky comes home from lunch, full and content. It’s been awhile since he’s had food from that part of the world and he’d been starting to miss it somewhat.
He tosses his jacket on to the couch and slinks down next to it. He could use a good nap right about now.
He’s about to shut his eyes when he notices Steve’s shield by the armchair.
“JARVIS?”
“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”
“Is Steve home?”
“Yes sir. Captain Rogers returned an hour and 27 minutes ago.”
“Oh.” Bucky frowns. Steve is usually a lot louder when he’s home. Stealth has never been his buddy’s strong suit.
“Captain Rogers appears to be holed in a blanket fort in his room, Sergeant Barnes.”
“A what?”
“Blanket fort,” the AI repeats. “It’s a practice that Mr Wilson taught the Captain for when he is feeling distressed.”
“Distressed?” Bucky echoes. He sounds stupid even to himself.
“That is correct.”
Bucky frowns. He wonders what’s up with Steve. “Thank you, JARVIS.”
“You’re welcome, Sergeant Barnes.”
Bucky gets up and knocks on Steve’s door. His version of the serum might not be as good as Steve’s but he can still hear the soft sniffling under all the blankets.
Bucky pushes the door open. “Steve?”
The sniffling immediately stops and Steve becomes so quiet, Bucky would think he was dead if it wasn’t for the light sound of his heartbeat filling Bucky’s ears.
He calls out again. “Steve?”
-
Steve swipes away his tears. Fuck Bucky’s home. He tries his best to bury himself deeper under the pile but it fails when Bucky’s metal fingers poke through and pushes it aside, sticking his head in.
“Steve? What’s going on? Are you hurt?”
Steve almost snorts. Trust Bucky to be sweet and caring even when Steve hates him. “‘M fine, Buck.”
Bucky gives him a look, calling bullshit, but he doesn’t push. “Can I come in?”
Steve nods, shifting so Bucky has space next to him. Bucky squeezes into the gap and puts his arm around Steve, pulling him closer so that Steve’s left side is pressed up against the warmth of Bucky’s right.
“So,” Bucky starts, running his fingers through Steve’s hair. “Wanna tell me what’s got you all red-eyed and puffy hmmm?”
Steve turns, burying his face deeper in Bucky’s chest. “Not really, no.”
Bucky frowns, clearly upset that Steve’s upset, but Steve really doesn’t wanna talk to him about this right now, or ever. He knows Bucky would end whatever it is he has if it meant Steve was upset. He can’t have that, can’t be the reason for Bucky losing someone who makes him happy.
Steve looks up at Bucky, “I’m happy for you, you know that right Buck?”
Bucky brows dip with confusion but he smiles at Steve, so gentle that it makes Steve’s heart ache. “What’re you talking about, punk?”
“You know,” Steve can’t believe Bucky’s making him say it. “You’re dating again. That’s good.”
“As much as I’m glad you’re happy for me, I ain't dating anyone, pal.”
Steve frowns. “But JARVIS said you were out on a date…?”
Now it’s Bucky’s turn to frown. “No I wasn’t.”
Steve sits up and glares at Bucky, getting more and more annoyed by the minute. “Buck, you can stop lying to me. I know you’re dating someone and I honestly don’t know why you won’t just tell me.”
“I’m not lying to you! Why would I lie to you about that?”
“I don’t know!” Steve is all but yelling but he doesn’t care. He’s confused and if there’s one thing Steve hates, it’s being confused. “JARVIS said you were going to meet someone and I just wanted to be sure I heard him right so I asked him if you were seeing someone and he said you were!”
“That’s because I was? I went to that new restaurant Sam told us about with Wanda!”
“So you did go on a date!”
“What? No! I just told you, I went out for lunch with Wanda!”
They’re both yelling at this point and it’s making Steve’s head spin. “Then why did JARVIS say you were on a date?”
“No, you said that JARVIS said I went out to see someone. You did not say that he said I was out on a date.”
Steve opens his mouth to argue but snaps it shut when he realizes Bucky’s right. “Oh.”
“Mmhhmm,” Bucky says, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Besides, even if I was on a date, why’s it got you so riled up huh, punk?”
The fort is suddenly way too warm and Steve can feel his ears turning bright red as Bucky watches him with his head tilted and an eyebrow cocked.
“I’m not riled up.” It’s weak even to his own ears. “I just don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.”
Bucky leans forward, forcing Steve to look him in the eye. “Sounds to me like you’ve been keeping a secret of your own, pal.”
Shit. Steve’s been caught. Now Bucky knows he’s in love with him which means he’s probably gonna move out and never want to talk to Steve ever again. Except -
Bucky’s not mad or upset or disgusted. Bucky’s… happy?
Steve gasps.
He shoves Bucky back, scowling as Bucky starts howling with laughter. “You jerk! You knew!”
Bucky’s still laughing, hand on his stomach like it hurts him to laugh, and Steve can’t help but smile at how far they’ve come from the days of Bucky just staring at everyone stoically.
“Of course I knew! You went around asking folks! What? Did you think I wouldn’t put two and two together?”
Steve huffs. Bucky is such a jerk. He can’t believe he’s in love with a jerk.
Steve’s still scowling when Bucky stops laughing but the shit is still grinning like this is the best thing to ever happen to him.
“So,” Bucky asks, nudging Steve with his foot. “You gonna ask me?”
Steve narrows his eyes at Bucky. “No.”
“C’mon Stevie. Ask me.”
Steve rolls his eyes. “Fine. You seeing anyone, Buck?”
Bucky shakes his head. “Nah. See, I’ve had my eye on this blond fella. He used to be tiny but he signed up to be a science experiment so he’s a smidge taller than me now. Still hasn’t learned when to shut his big gab though. He also likes walking around in shirts that are way too small and poke his nose in places where they don’t belong. Maybe you’ve heard of him?”
Steve glares at him, ignoring the sound of his blood rushing in his ears. “My shirts are not too small!”
Bucky snorts. “Yeah they are but that’s not the point.”
Steve’s face softens. He reaches out to Bucky, fingers trembling. “Buck you better not be pulling my leg or I swear on Ma’s grave, I’m gonna slug your ugly mug.”
Bucky laughs, taking Steve’s hand and pressing them to his lips. “Now why would I joke about something like that?”
Steve launches himself at Bucky, pressing their lips together, and Steve, Steve’s imagined this at least a million times before, wondering if Bucky would taste like the sweetness of plums or the bitterness of coffee but he never imagined that kissing Bucky would feel like comfort and home.
Bucky breaks the kiss, smiling so hard that Steve thinks his face might get stuck like that. “I guess that means the feeling’s mutual huh?”
“Shut up, you jerk. I still haven’t forgiven you yet.”
“But Steeeve,” Bucky says, burying his nose in the crook of Steve’s neck. “I love you!”
Steve’s breath hitches and he pulls back so that he can properly look at Bucky. “Say that again?”
Bucky smiles, soft and fond. “I love you, punk. Always have, always will.”
Steve grins. “Love you too, Buck. TIl’ the end of the line.”