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“Ugh, what happened?” Dick groaned as he rubbed at his head. He pried his eyes open but it hardly made a difference. Darkness engulfed him. Maybe there was a blob or two in the distance but he couldn’t make anything out.
Where was he? What was he doing before? Why was he here? His head throbbed as he tried to recall. He wasn’t on a mission. He wasn’t even in uniform, he thinks. He… wasn’t Dick just at his apartment?
Before he could voice further confusion, sparkling lights snapped on around him. He flinched and his eyes immediately began to dart around. Lightbulbs and spotlights flashed and danced around what looked like a stage. He was alone and couldn't see anyone beyond the ring of warm light. He flexed his muscles and just realized he was sitting. Interesting how he didn’t even notice. But as he looked down at it, he couldn’t help but cringe at the orange, fuzzy abomination. The chair was oddly comfortable but that only made him more wary. He was in his Nightwing uniform, and he knows he didn’t put it on.
“What’s going on -” Dick started before he was cut off by a booming voice around him.
“Ladies and gentleman! Boys and girls of aaaaall ages! Put your hands, feet, flippers, and other limbs together for the best show in Gotham city with the biggest highs and the lowest lows! Say it with me, folks - The Dating Game!”
Dick’s hands flew to his ears as an invisible audience roared and clapped. That wasn’t a normal crowd. The cacophony of screeches and booming thunder assaulted his senses and made a shiver run up his spine.
Where am I?! What was going on?! he thought as the crowd made the air vibrate around him. Try as he might, he couldn’t see a flicker of movement in the shadows.
“And now let’s meet our wonderful, awesome, badass contestant for today. You know him, you love him, you can’t help but wanna hug him! Give a warm hello to… Nightwiiiiing!”
At his introduction, a beam of light streamed right into Dick’s eyes. He growled as he tried to shield himself as more monstrous applause erupted around him.
“And we can’t have a show without a gracious host! Give it up for yours truly… Nite-Miiiiite!”
“Oh, I get it now,” he muttered as a gear clicked into place in his mind. The vigilante’s spine slouched and his eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head as he tried to keep his annoyance at bay.
With sparkles and glitter, the notorious interdimensional imp poofed into being. Spotlights gravitated toward his tiny form as he flashed a smile to the invisible crowd - that the vigilante was starting to suspect didn’t actually exist. Nonetheless, he struck poses and blew kisses to the audience. Dick couldn’t help but grimace. Why did Nite-Mite insist he look like a miniature version of him? When the imp pulled those faces, it made his skin crawl.
Dick crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes - doing everything in his power to outwardly show he was not amused by the situation. Not that he was internally amused either. When Nite-Mite turned to face him, however, the imp didn’t clock the vigilante’s sour mood.
“How’re you doin’ today, Nightwing? It’s been way too long!” Nite-Mite asked as he held an oversized microphone to his face.
He instinctually leaned back but mustered enough patience to keep his voice to a grumble. “Nite-Mite, what is this?”
The imp finally looked nervous as he chuckled, “What do you mean? This is The Dating Game!” Applause surrounded the two but Dick finally had the suspicion that it was pre-recorded. Nite-Mite flew in close and gave the vigilante a wink. “I’m trying to find you a girlfriend, Nightwing! You’ve been on a dry spell for a bit, right? Don’t worry! I know just the right gal for you!”
Dick blinked as his scowl turned confused. “What? Nite-Mite, I don’t - uuugh.” Not humoring the imp any further, Dick’s patience finally snapped as he stood. “Look I’m sorry, but I don’t have the time for this, nor do I need your help in that department.”
“But -”
The vigilante waved him off and began to walk away. He didn’t know where he was, but he was sure he could find his way back home. Nite-Mite said it was the best show in Gotham, so he had to be somewhere within the city, right? Anywhere would be better than on that stage.
Before he got too far, however, Dick’s feet were knocked from under him and his mind spun. His vision turned to sparkles and smoke. Right when he was about to throw up from the sensation, he felt his back hit the fuzzy chair. Dick blinked hard as his body reoriented itself and tried desperately to keep his bile at bay.
“Holy shit…” he grumbled as he buried his spinning head in his hand. Here he thought he was used to vertigo because of a certain speedster, but his churning stomach said otherwise.
“Now now, Nightwing! The game hasn’t even started yet! And what a fun game it is, right folks?” Nite-Mite said, prattling on about who knows and who cares? Why was he performing to a crowd that wasn’t even there? “We’ve got three rounds of wonderful ladies you’ll get to speed date through! And by the end I’m sure you’ll find your soulmate and get married and have kids and -”
“Nite-Mite!” Dick said through grit teeth, “I told you, I don’t want to -”
“Oh, don’t be shy! Of course you do!” the imp insisted.
“Ugh! How about this - I don’t need you to do this! I have -”
“Don’t worry your pretty, stylish head! I want to do this!”
“Nite-Mite -”
The imp then turned to the audience and continued his spiel, “How about we get this show on the road and to the first date? It’s sure to be an exciting one! I know I’m already on the edge of my seat! Will there be love or loss? Stay tuned to find out! But I really hope it’s love! AAAH! They’re my OTP!”
What?
Dick wanted to grab the little pest, shake him like a snowglobe, and tell him to stop for five seconds and let him explain himself. But Dick was barely able to open his jaw before he heard a snap and the blinding vertigo engulfed him in a puff of smoke.
---
Dick coughed and tried to shoo away the dust and the dizziness, and he was surprised when he heard another echo him. Oh no, someone else was here? Nite-Mite did say he would rope someone into this mess with him. The dread of a civilian in harm's way itched at the back of his head. But when he pried open his eyes, all tension left his shoulders and he took a calming breath. Those last words from Nite-Mite made sense now, as annoying as they were. Regardless, Dick was very happy to see a familiar face - even if that face was contorted in confusion and irritation.
“Dick?” Barbara cough, “What are you doing… here? Wait, where are we? And what are you wearing? What am I wearing?!”
He raised a brow and took in his new surroundings. Barbara pawed at the golden shimmering dress and let out an annoyed huff as she noticed her wheelchair had also been glitter bombed. The shock spread on both their faces as they realized that they were at a white cloth dinner table. It appeared that they were plopped right in the middle of a restaurant that was eerily empty and dimly lit. At the very least there was some nondescript, ambient music in the background to quell some of their nerves. Emphasis on some.
A restaurant for this ‘date’, huh? How typical, he thought with a sigh.
Dick finally looked down at himself and he could hardly contain his eye roll. He’s seen and worn hundreds of suits and this one looked just like the rest. The light blue tie was admittedly a nice touch, but it felt like it was choking him with how tight it was around his neck.
Dick loosened it as he apologized, “Hey Babs. Sorry about all this.”
“What is going on? I don’t have time for whatever this is. I was in the middle of getting important intel to Orphan and Spoiler. They’re still out on the field. I just clocked that someone was on their tail!”
“Yeah, this isn’t exactly a picnic for me either. This is a Nite-Mite thing.”
She groaned and started to message her temple - hearing the name made him want to do the same. She righted her glasses and gave Dick an apologetic look. “Surprised but not unexpected. But I don’t have the time nor patience to deal with him right now. Sorry, Dick,” she called as she pulled away from the table and, presumably, toward an exit.
Instead of trying to escape with her, he cringed. The vigilante hesitantly raised a hand and tried to warn her. “Um, you probably can’t…!”
Sadly, she didn’t get far. With a pop of smoke and glitter, her wheelchair was engulfed and she was poofed in front of him again in an instant - escape attempt thwarted. Her head swayed as she grumbled in defeat.
“Yeaaaaah,” Dick drawled out as he crossed his arms over his chest, “tried that already. We’re playing one of Nite-Mite’s games, so I don’t think we can get out that easily.”
Barbara sighed and slouched in her chair. “Ugh. Can’t blame me for trying, but I had a feeling. So what is it this time? I don’t have to marry you again, do I?”
“No, thank goodness. I think he’s just trying to find me a date.”
She raised a brow and Dick saw a hint of a smile on her lips. “But don’t you already?”
He threw his arms up in annoyance as he yelled, “I tried to tell him, but he kept interrupting me!”
“Evidently, you didn’t try hard enough, Boy Wonder,” she dryly chuckled, attitude slowly moving from murderous to amused. “What’s he going to think when he finds out you’re already taken?”
“Either his head explodes or the world does. Hoping for the former. I just hope I can tell him soon so we can get out of here.”
“By the way, where is here?” she asked as she grabbed at a fake menu off the table. She flipped through it and found that the pages were mostly blank save for a few pictures of what was maybe food? It was certainly something on a plate. Did they not have food where Nite-Mite is from?
“I’m not sure. He had me in a nondescript location before so I’m guessing this is some sort of pocket dimension or… ” Dick tried to say before the duo was interrupted by the rapid tapping of feet. The sound was so familiar that it made Dick’s spine straighten. Was that…?
In a rush of lighting and wind, a new figure stood by their table. Dick’s smile widened as he saw familiar red hair in a not so familiar outfit - but it was a welcome sight all the same.
“Hello, monsieur and madam!” Wally greeted with that charming smile of his. “Good evening and-or morning! Welcome to whatever the hell restaurant this is! I’ll be your server today, I guess. What can I get started for you two crazy kids?”
Dick giggled as he sat up in interest at his favorite speedster. “Walls, what are you doing here?”
“Funny story,” he chuckled as he rapidly clicked away at a pen he produced from one of his many pockets, “I was headed to your place when I saw this bright light coming from your apartment. No clue what it was but I got in it as fast as possible - which as you know is pretty damn quick.”
“Aw, were you trying to save me? Emphasis on try?” Dick teased as he gestured around them.
“Hey, I got here - there - right? I think? I mean, I’m here, aren’t I?” the speedster said as he leaned down toward the table.
“Mh-hm. And here you are,” Dick hummed as he balanced his chin on his palm. He gave the redhead a once over and his smile grew. “But not in the outfit I thought you’d be in. You wear that zipping across the country? Trying a new suit?”
“Ha ha. I didn’t choose this,” Wally chuckled as he motioned down to his button up, bow-tie, and apron. It wasn’t his usual uniform but it certainly wasn’t offensive - not at all. “And hey, I don’t think I look too bad.”
“Never said you didn’t, West. The bow tie is a bit much, but I have to say the whole ensemble is slimming.”
“What, you got a thing for waiters, Grayson?” Wally said as he leaned against the table, trying oh-so subtle to get closer to the other.
“Hm. I like a uniform - what can I say? And maybe just one waiter in particular.”
Before Dick could sneak his hand toward the speedster, Wally sighed and pulled a note pad out of one of his pockets. “Well, speaking of being a waiter and not having some random French chef yell at me, what can I get you two?”
Dick’s brow furrowed only for a moment. Two? But before he could ask, he heard a growl next to him.
“Ugh. Why is there no reception in this place?!” Barbara sighed as she furiously typed on her phone.
The vigilante nodded his head sympathetically. If he wasn’t between cases, he was sure he would be in the same boat as her - trying anything and everything to keep working. He respected the hell out of it. Unfortunately, Dick has had too much experience with the interdimensional pest to know that it was futile to try.
“So, how about it, Barbara?” Wally asked, clicking his pen again, somehow mockingly this time.
“I’m not particularly hungry right now, sorry,” she apologized, sparing a glance up at him. “Besides, the menus are useless.”
Wally chuckled, “Somehow, I know what they have. It’s the typical French fair: l’omite is just an omelet, fricassée de poulet is a creamy chicken dish, and they got esescargot which is actually really good ‘cause of the garlic butter sauce they drizzle on top of it. They also have a bunch of other stuff that sounds mouthwatering. Wanna try any of it?”
The rapid tapping of her phone screen slowed as Wally rattled off dishes. Dick could understand her pause, he didn’t realize how hot Wally would sound speaking French, but he was sure that wasn’t the reason she was giving him a curious eye.
“Um,” Barbara stuttered, raising a brow.
Doing his best to save his friend, Dick interjected, “That all sounds great, Wall. Why don’t you bring us one of everything?”
“Though you’d never ask.” The speedster then gave the two a wide smile before he zipped away.
Before the air even began to settle, their table tripled in size and several plates of food were scattered in front of them. It was far more dishes than Wally rattled off and of course he looked excited for the spread.
Barbara had the normal reaction of looking horrified but Dick just threw Wally a smirk with a raised brow.
“What?” the speedster said, “You said one of everything!”
“I think Dick meant one of each of the things you talked about.”
“No worries, Babs. It’s fine,” Dick chuckled but a mischievous smile grew on his face. “ But it iiiiiis a lot of food. Oh, how I wish we had someone around to help us eat all of it. Oh! Wally! That’s riiiiight! Would you be a dear and mayhaps join us? It would be such a shame to let all this food go to waste!”
Wally gave a knowing smile followed by a stupidly endearing eyebrow wiggle. Dick giggled as the speedster pulled up a chair. Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught Barbara rolling her eyes with a sigh. She knew exactly what they were doing. It wasn’t exactly rocket science to put two and two together. They weren’t exactly being subtle.
“First bites?” Wally asked as he licked his lips as he looked at the spread in front of him.
Dick rested on his palm, he said, endearingly, “Yeah. You let me know what’s good.”
“Dude, it’s French food. It’s all gonna be good.”
“So you say.”
They both chuckled as Wally already began to take spoonfuls from each dish. Dick watched fondly, but his attention was pulled as his eye wandered to Barbara who was staring at them like he grew a third head.
“What? You know Wally likes to eat. You’ve seen him at the manor.”
“Hey, at least I’m not picky like you. By the way, real or not, this spread is awesome! But you may not like the tartare. Texture’s a bit much.”
“Hm, noted,” the vigilante chuckled.
But, sadly, before he could pick up a fork, glitter and dusk flashed around them. The group flinched and Dick immediately slumped against the table. He was actually starting to forget the imp and enjoy this pseudo date.
“No no no! Nightwiiiiing!” Nite-Mite whined as he floated close to the table, “What are you doing?! You’re hardly paying attention to Batgirl! I’m so sorry about him! You know how he is!”
Barbara scoffed at the old codename. She crossed her arms over her chest and squeezed her phone dangerously in her grip. “One, not my name anymore, little guy. And two, not offended in the slightest. Dick and I aren’t together anymore, and it’s okay. In fact, he’s-”
“Nooo. Aw maaaan! That sucks!” Nite-Mite groaned, cutting her off. As he limply circled to and fro he hummed to himself, hardly paying them attention, “Well, I guess we’ll just have to move on to the next round. But what on Earth could’ve topped this? The lighting, the music, the food, the atmosphere! It was perfect! Man, I really shouldn’t have started with my magnum opus.”
Dick’s brow furrowed at that. This was the best idea Nite-Mite had for a date? He really didn’t know much about human culture, huh? The setting was cheesy as hell and Dick hasn’t had the urge or desire to go on a proper, suit-and-tie dinner date in years - with anyone - and especially not to a high class French restaurant like this.
Barbara, her levels of caring at an all time low, tried to explain again, “Nite-Mite, you should know that Dick -”
“He’s excited for the next round? Oh, so am I!”
“No! He’s already in a-!”
“Ah! I got it! It took a second, but I thought of the bestest next date!”
“Just - can you listen for a second -”
“Tiiiime for the next round!”
“Argh!” she finally growled as she scraped her nails over her scalp.
“Harder than it looks, huh?” Dick muttered as he shot her smirk. She glared back at him through clawed fingers but it held no bite.
“Sorry to those who were rooting for these two - me included! But this next date is sure to be a hit! Will it be lust or bust? Will they date or separate? Find out now in this most thrilling, jaw-dropping round of -”
Before Dick could hear the cacophony that would follow the name of this horrid game, Dick felt his stomach drop to his feet and his vision dust in sparkles.
---
At least this time when he felt the ground under his feet, he didn’t feel like he was going to throw up. Or hack out a lung. It was progress.
He swatted away at the smoke and wasn’t as surprised when he heard someone behind him not fairing as well. But before he could address them, he took a moment to assess their new surroundings. The sky was pitch black and if he tried to focus at the horizon line, it faded into nothingness. But at the very least in his immediate vicinity the setting was recognizable.
A theme park.
It was lacking patrons and workers but it was definitely some sort of amusement park. With no one around it felt abandoned, but the lights were blinking and rides were moving - somehow. Dick peaked into some of the gaming booths that lined the perimeter and saw them abandoned, but functional. It seemed the only people in this place were…
Dick turned around and saw a familiar face and immediately picked up on the pattern that Nite-Mite was setting.
Kori waved a hand in front of her face as a sparkle or two lingered near her eye. The vigilante noted that she wasn’t in her usual uniform but casual clothing - which made sense considering the setting. He wasn’t in the stuffy suit either, thank goodness, but he was oddly not in his clothes. The graphic T-shirt and ripped jeans weren’t anything from his wardrobe. Odd.
He sighed and approached the Tamaranian. The vigilante offered a smile as he brushed some glitter from her hair. “Deep breaths, Kori.”
“Dick? What’s going on? Where - Oh!” Kori’s confusion quickly turned to joy as her eyes lit up as she took in their surroundings. “What are we doing at an amusement park? Is this a surprise party?”
He chuckled but shook his head. “I wish. We’re actually kind of trapped right now. Nite-Mite is keeping us here.” Her face fell in confusion again and he tried to explain, “You remember Nite-Mite? He’s the interdimensional imp -”
She gasped, “An imp? Really? Where? Ah, wait, you can’t fool me. You said fairytale creatures don’t exist!”
The other blinked. “I’m not - I’m not trying to trick you, Kori. The ones from books and stuff aren’t real. But this guy is!”
The Tamaranian threw him a teasing smile. “Now, Dick, you lied to me? That’s not very kind of you. I suppose I’ll just have to meet this imp. And his troll friend.”
“Troll? Wha-what troll?”
“Well, an imp must be friends with a troll, right? It only makes sense!”
Dick paused.
Kori’s smile widened.
He sighed out a chuckle as he finally understood and Kori let out a mischievous giggle. He almost forgot her interesting sense of humor. He missed talking to her like this. No missions, no briefings. Just light hearted fun. He needs to remind himself to hang around the Outlaws more often.
But he couldn’t get too comfortable. Or at least he shouldn’t. The vacant setting kept him on edge, but at least his shoulders relaxed a few centimeters.
“You say we’re trapped here, yes?” Dick gave a nod. Kori then hovered a few feet from the ground with a hand extended. “I see no bars or walls. How about I fly us out?”
“Easier said than done,” he sighed, as he grabbed her hand but guided her back down. “Barb and I tried already, but we just got poofed back to the same place. The best we can do is play along until Nite-Mite shows up again and try to get him to stop this.”
“This?”
Before Dick could explain the embarrassing details, a voice called out to them from behind. “Come one! Come all! Try your luck at this… uh.. Game? Yeah, game!”
The vigilante’s mood perked up as he whipped his head around and saw his favorite speedster yet again. He shouldn’t be surprised that Wally was also here but he was. It felt like vitality was shot right into him as he walked toward the other without hesitation. Dick quickly covered his mouth as he took in the sight of Wally in a white and red pinstripe shirt, a solid red vest, and a classic straw hat. The stereotypical carnie outfit made Dick both nostalgic and want to pinch Wally’s cheeks for daring to look so adorable.
“Wanna win a nice prize for the pretty lady?” Wally asked as he twirled around a cane. Ugh. Why was he wearing something that made Dick want to squeeze Wally with cuteness aggression?
“I can win a prize myself, thank you!” Kori said as she floated in behind Dick.
The vigilante almost forgot she was there. Man, he needs to get better at his situational awareness when around Wally. This was becoming a bad habit.
Wally defensively threw his hands up. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean -”
“Yeah, she’s right, Walls. Besides, I think there’s a different red head I’d like to win a prize for,” Dick teased as he leaned against the gaming booth. The painted wood was a bit tacky to the touch but it was worth it to get closer to the speedster.
Wally’s smile was teasing as he leaned toward the vigilante as well. “Aw, you wanna win me something?”
“Who says I was talking about you?”
“Psh. You see any other cute red heads around here?”
“I don’t know. Roy may be hanging around here somewhere.”
Wally gasped and clutched his invisible pearls. “Ah! I’m offended you think Roy is cuter than me!”
“Hey I never said cute. Because anyone cuter than you? No one.”
“Speaking of Roy! I wish to win Lian a prize as well!” Kori interrupted as she clapped her hands.
The spell between them broke and Wally took a step into the game booth with a shake of his head. Dick didn’t realize how much he leaned toward the other until the distance was put between them.
“Of course! Two prizes for two princesses! Why not!” Wally then placed several softballs on the ledge in front of them. “Knock down all those pins and you can pick anything you want!”
“Why can’t you just give us one?” Dick teased as he picked up one of the brightly colored balls.
“Where’s the fun in that? Come on, man, live a little!”
The vigilante rolled his eyes fondly. He gave the ball a few tosses to feel its weight and felt his confidence rise.
Just hitting some pins?
Child’s play.
With an easy wind up, Dick threw the softball. It made a sweeping curve before colliding with their target making all the pins tumble down with a satisfying crash. Dick smirked as he turned to the speedster. “Prize please!”
He guessed Wally thought it would take more effort than that because his jaw was on the floor. “Wha-!”
Kori smiled with excitement. “Oh! My turn!”
The Tamaranian picked up a softball in each hand. Her hands then began to glow with vibrant energy. Dick’s smirk turned manic as he realized what she was doing. One after the other, she threw the balls at the pyramid of pins and they met their target with striking accuracy. With plasmic energy in their wake, the pins exploded into pieces.
Kori cheered as she flew higher in the air and Dick broke out in a fit of laughter.
Wally flinched and zipped away from the carnage as he yelled, “Holy shit! What the hell is wrong with you two!?”
“What? Can’t do that, West?” the vigilante said between fits of laughter.
“Of course not! You know my aim is shit, Dick.”
“Yeah yeah. Now, prize us!”
“Yes! Two for me, please!” Kori added after she was done celebrating.
“Uh. Ah, yeah. Alright. What do you want?” Wally gestured to the plethora of toys and stuffed animals behind him. They looked fairly cheap and generic, if you asked Dick. Kori was delighted all the same as she asked for matching lion and tiger plushies. She cuddled them, satisfied, and floated higher in the air. She was oh so excited to show them to the Outsiders, but most importantly Lian. She knew the little girl would love them.
Although, the vigilante was harder to please.
With a mischievous glint, Dick leaned against the booth again, getting as close as he could to the speedster. “How aboooout… you?”
“Cute, but how are you gonna gift me to me? Weren’t you gonna win me a prize?”
“I don’t think I ever confirmed nor denied I was getting you anything. But getting you? Now that’s a different story.”
“I’d love to watch the playback on that, because I distinctively remember you saying you wanted to win something for a certain red head.”
Dick shrugged. “Put me on trial, West. I dare you. But how about I bribe you with something from the next booth, hm?”
“I can be bought,” the speedster chuckled.
The pair dared to lean closer. They were mere inches away from each other.
So of course the moment was ruined when they both heard a whine followed by a pop next to their ears.
“No no no! Ugh! Nightwing!” the imp complained as he flopped himself onto Dick’s head. “This was even worse than the last one! What are you doing, man? Is your game that bad?”
That got Wally to snicker but he quickly covered his mouth as the other shot daggers at him.
“You and Starfire were such a good couple back in the day. I thought I saw some sparks flying just now! Did you feel them? Did you see the sparks?” He then hovered over to Kori who was watching them with interest. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”
“What are you talking about?” the Tamaranian asked with a smile. “I got to spend time with Dick and Wally and I won two prizes! Today was a great day. Thank you.”
“Aw. You’re too kind! You would’ve been perfect with Nightwing, I just know it! If only he wasn’t so stubborn sometimes, ya know? But that’s what makes him so cool!”
The two then began to talk about who knows what because Dick turned them out to reign in his annoyance. A sigh escaped him before he could catch it as he rubbed between his eyes. Wally, the traitor, just continued to snicker - even turning his back to contain himself. Eventually, though, Nite-Mite floated back down toward them, Kori in tow, with the pest’s chin thoughtfully resting on his fist.
“I can’t believe this didn’t work. What am I gonna do now?” Nite-Mite whined.
Dick raised a brow. “What are you - you didn’t plan anything else? Wasn’t there supposed to be three rounds?”
“Oh my god, three?” the speedster hissed to the other with.
He made a gesture toward the other saying, I know right?
Nite-Mite at least had the decency to look embarrassed. He tapped his forefingers together and didn’t meet the other’s gaze. “Well, I thought you’d get back with Batgirl right away so I didn’t plan anything after that.”
“Wha - No!” Dick cried in exasperation, “That was never going to - wait, does that mean we’re not doing another round of this because you don’t have anything else planned?”
For the love of god, please let this weird day end, Dick thought. This had to be it, surely, right? What else would Nite-Mite do? Who else would he poorly attempt to set him up with? He didn’t have that many exes. Did he? What else could the pest possibly do?
“Um. D-don’t you worry, Nightwing! Your biggest fan would never let you down!” Nite-Mite stuttered with renewed vigor. Which, ironically, made Dick’s spirits crumble. “What else? What else? What else? Batgirl and Starfire are out. They are two great heroes. Oh! Hero! I got it!”
He floated higher in the air and produced his oversized microphone from thin air. He pointed to the middle distance and addressed the fake crowd, “It’s time for the final round! Will Nightwing finally secure a date with the heroine of his dreams? You know what they say: love blooms on the battlefield! Will they go out or… uh… in? Will they court or… Ugh! Man, this is hard! Let’s just go to the next round already! This one better work out!”
While Nite-Mite ranted, Wally leaned against the booth and whispered to Dick, “You not gonna tell ‘em?”
The vigilante shrugged as he threw his arms over his chest. “Eh, I tried. Why waste my breath? As long as you’re there, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
The other gave him a warm smile. A perfect smile. Oh how tempted Dick was to lean into it. But before he could act on the thought, the world went white again and some sparkles got in his eye.
---
Dick was just thankful this was going to be the last round. He didn’t care where he was, what he was doing, or who he was even with. He just had to ignore the last person like he had been and things would go back to normal.
Right?
Right.
When his eyes adjusted to the lighting, Dick noted he was in a nondescript warehouse. It was dank and dark and scattered with cargo containers and scrap metal. It looked like any other warehouse in Gotham or Bludhaven. It looked like any other mission he would be on. With that in mind, he looked down and expected to be in uniform. And he was.
Wait.
“Oh,” Dick grumbled as he looked down at himself. He was in one of his earlier suits. Not bad by any means - he still really enjoyed this look to be honest - but it was an old design for a reason. He didn’t think he looked good in red.
“Ugh, ow. That was the shoddiest teleport I’ve felt in a while,” a voice said next to him.
The vigilante turned to the source and raised a brow. “Zee?”
Confused and dazed, Zatanna waved the smoke away from her face and finally caught Dick’s eyes. She was also in uniform and, lucky for her, it was her most current one. “Nightwing? What are you doing here? I’m… I’m back on earth? I was just off-world. Where are we?”
“Ugh, your guess is as good as mine. I’m sorry about this though. I’m dealing with an interdimensional imp that won’t leave me alone.”
“Ooooh! Gotcha. Say no more,” the magician mused with a smile as she took stock of their surroundings. “Sucks that one got attached to you. I’ve heard the stories about Mixelplix. Are we dealing with him?”
Dick’s creased brow eased. It was great that he didn’t have to explain a thing to her. She got it. She’s always been cool like that. But the vigilante could only imagine the crazy things she’s seen and been through that this might be normal to her. That sucks if true. Dick made a mental note to treat her to a vacation one of these days. Maybe he should treat all three of the women to a spa day or something for having to put up with this nonsense.
“No. Sadly worse,” the vigilante sighed.
Unlike the other two locations where they were left mainly to themselves, an event kicked off and all light shut off around them. Darkness surrounded them as Dick snapped into a fighting stance, escrima sticks instinctively in hand and Zatanna conjured a light spell around them. The glow around them was greatly appreciated but the two couldn’t see anything beyond the black expanse.
Nite-Mite didn’t show his face but he called from the rafters, “On this episode of Nightwing! Bold and the Brave! Our hero, along with his beautiful and magical heroine partner, Zatanna, face off against his greatest adversary yet! He’s a scourge to Bludhaven’s underworld! He’s Nightwing’s arch nemesis! Well, maybe besides Deathstroke. But that guy’s a push over compared to what’s standing before them! Beware Nightwing’s greatest adversary! KGBeast!”
The name made him freeze. Zatanna threw Dick a worried look over her shoulder. She knew the name as most in the hero business did. She knew what he did to him. She knew what facing him did to the vigilante. Rage and fear began to course through him at the mere thought of the sharing airspace. Nite-Mite seriously brought him here? Now?! Didn’t Nite-Mite know? Did he care? Does he want Dick to succumb to his rage and watch him beat the ever loving shit out of the man that tried to kill him?!
As Dick gripped his escrima sticks tightly, he prepared himself physically and mentally. Interdimensional magic or not, KGBeast was going down.
Suddenly, a spotlight flicked on and KGBeast stood before them. Dick was about to charge the man but hesitated.
That wasn’t KGBeast.
Well, it was, but it was just a guy in a mascot costume. Over sized proportions, simplified outfit, felt and all. Dick’s shoulders slumped as he let out a breath. He didn’t realize how hard his heart was beating until it began slowing down in his ears. He lowered his weapons and gave the mascot a curious once over.
It appeared whoever was in there was just as confused as to what was going on as they looked in every which direction.
“Uh?” the guy mumbled, “What the -? Man, where are we this time? And what am I wearing?”
Dick’s eyes grew wide and he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He was so happy to hear that voice again but furious it was coming from that face.
The mascot reached up and popped the head off. Wild red hair sprung free and just seeing Wally’s face - as confused as he looked - made a huge wave of relief wash over him. The speedster turned the mascot helmet around and saw the KGBeast mask stare back at him.
“Oh HELL no!” Wally roared as his face contorted in anger.
Without another thought, the speedster lined up the mascot head and punted it as hard as he could. The act felt good in the moment, but after a second smoke poofed around him and his head was covered with the KGBeast mascot again. Wally yelled as she scrambled to get the thing off.
With a shake of his head, Dick sheathed his escrima sticks and made his way over to the other. Wally was just about to chuck the thing away when Dick placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Just hold it,” he sighed.
“But it’s -!”
“Not real and he’s just going to put it back on you.”
“Hey, Wally,” Zatanna greeted as she walked over, bobbles of light close behind her, “you got roped into this too, huh? But what are you wearing?”
“Ugh. Nite-Mite’s been giving us wardrobe changes against our will all day,” Wally joked, but Dick could see in his eyes that he was as tired of this as he was.
“All day? What is he having you guys do? Is this some sort of game?” she asked, placing a hand on her hip.
They both gave her a deadpan stare and a tired nod.
She cringed sympathetically. “Eh, well, if it’s a game an interdimensional imp wants to play, then that’s exactly what we’re not going to do.” Zatanna, with her head held high, definitely sat on the cold concrete ground.
Dick raised a brow. Good point. Well, it’s sort of what he’s been doing all day, so it made sense. He sat next to her and pulled Wally down with him. The other didn’t complain either and sat happily - even flopping onto his back with a groan.
As soon as the trio began to relax, Nite-Mite seemed to have enough.
“Um. Nightwing, I don’t wanna tell you how to do your job or anything, but, uh, you’re supposed to fight the bad guys. Not… I don’t know what you’re doing right now, but it isn’t right!" Nite-Mite popped into being before them and hovered over the group nervously.
Dick felt his vein begin to pop. He was done beating around the bush. He was done trying to hold in his annoyance. He was done. He just wanted to go home.
Dick all but screamed, “Nite-Mite, I’m in a relationship already!”
Nite-Mite seemed to perk up at that, but for the wrong reason. “Gasp! So you and Zatanna are together! I knew it!”
“No! No we’re not!”
Zatanna scoffed playfully as she leaned back against her hands. “Don’t have to go sounding all offended.”
“You’re not helping,” Dick hissed. She raised her hands in defeat, her smile never leaving her face. “Zatanna, you are a wonderful person. We may have had a fling in the past, but that’s all it was. We’re not - we’re not together. I’m with someone else…” He trailed off as he reached next to him and grabbed onto Wally’s hand. He noticed the other had sat up, removed as much of the costume as he could, and had been smiling at him during the exchange. His grin only grew wider as their fingers interlaced.
“Oh! Who is it? Is it Kori? Or Barbara? Please tell me it’s Barbara!” As he listed the other women, they appeared out of nowhere looking exactly as they did during the past rounds of this stupid game. Barbara looked even more annoyed to be interrupted again, and Kori seemed confused but curious.
“No. Not them either,” Dick said as he pushed himself to his feet, dragging Wally up with him. “I love them all, just in a different way. Not romantically anymore, at the very least.”
“Oh no! Don’t tell me you’re with a civilian! Those never pan out well!”
“Just tell ‘em. The poor sap is never gonna figure it out on his own,” Wally muttered as he gave Dick’s hand a squeeze.
“I was getting to it,” he whispered as he returned the gesture.
“Well, get to it faster, I still wanna go to that movie tonight.”
“Ugh. If I know how these things work, we either missed it by hours or, like, one second has passed. We’re either fine or screwed.”
“That’s not reassuring.”
“Never said I was trying to be.”
The two laughed, and the small crowd just watched them as if they were in their own little world. But somehow, Nite-Mite still didn’t get it.
Barbara saw the blank expression on the imp’s face and she couldn’t contain herself any longer. “It’s Wally, Nite-Mite!”
“Huh?”
“For the love of - Dick and Wally. They’re dating.”
Nite-Mite paused.
“...Who?”
That caught the duo’s attention as their heads snapped toward the other. Who? Who?! What did Nite-Mite mean who?! Wally’s brow furrowed. “Uh, me. Ya know, the guy you’ve been dragging around like some NPC all day?”
The explanation was met with a blank stare.
“I’m Firebird!”
Nite-Mite’s head tilts. “Who?”
“Ugh… Kid Flash -”
“KID FLASH?! Nightwing, you're dating Kid Flash?!”
Dick snickers as Wally tries to walk away, but Dick keeps him close with their fingers intertwined.
“Yeah. We’re together,” Dick said with a wisp of a chuckle still on his lips. Wally wanted to be annoyed, but he couldn’t hold onto it with Dick looking at him like that.
The imp’s legs were fully kicking with excitement as he leaned on his hands like he was partaking in childish gossip. “How long?”
“Oh, it’s, uh. It’s been about six months?”
“Six months, twenty-three days,” Wally proudly chimed in.
“That long?! Why didn’t you tell me sooner!?” Nite-Mite whined.
Dick can feel the back of his head burning by three pairs of eyes boring into him. One pair in particular felt burningly close.
“Sorry about him, Nite-Mite,” Wally chimed in after he was done staring daggered into the side of Dick’s head. But at least Wally was having mercy on him as he helped to quell the impatient imp’s curiosity. “You know how he is. Got sucked into one too many missions. Working with heroes, saving the day, stuff like that, ya know? He’s just been soooo busy. I’ve been telling him for months that we had to let you, his biggest fan, know as soon as possible. But a hero’s work is never done, right?”
Keeping his expression schooled, Dick gave his partner a look out of the corner of his eye. That… that wasn’t going to work, was it? he thought.
“Oh, man! Don’t I know it!”
Okay, maybe it will.
Nite-Mite bobbed up and down excitedly as he rambled, “But it's amazing that you got together. Nightwing needs a hero that can keep up with him! And who better than a speedster? How’d it happen? How many dates have you been on? OH! When’s the wedding?”
“Okaaay! Thank you for everything, Nite-Mite. Truly!” Dick interjected, “And now, you can send us back home because… uh -”
“Because the game is over! Ding ding ding! We have a winner and it’s Nightwing! Right?” Wally cheered. His smile was wobbly as he did his best to convince the pest, but luckily Nite-Mite didn’t seem to notice.
“Yes yes! That’s right!” Nite-Mite then made his oversized microphone appear in his hand and he addressed his invisible crowd. “Congratulations and thank you to all the wonderful, awesome, amazing contestants!”
Dick didn’t bother paying attention further.
Didn’t care.
Didn’t need to.
He made sure to meet the eyes of all the women who were unwillingly dragged into this game and gave them a silent apology. As the imp rambled, they disappeared one by one back to wherever Nite-Mite stole them from. Not forgetting his saving grace, Dick looked over to Wally who was still smiling fondly. He squeezed his hand again and mouthed a quick thank you. Wally returned it and couldn’t help leaning in and giving Dick a quick peck on the lips.
Eventually, after some confetti and strobe lights, he announced Nightwing and Kid Flash the winners of the game and they were poofed away themselves.
---
By the time Dick opened his eyes, they were back in his apartment.
Lights were on, snacks ran cold, and no one else in sight.
Dick was about to make a grab for his phone that was resting on his coffee table, but a click at this door made him freeze. His head snapped to the sound and saw Wally barley through the threshold of the door. They stared at each other for a moment sharing the same expression of bewilderment.
In a rush, Wally was at Dick’s side and scooping him into his arms. He yelped as the speedster spun them around in a fit of laughter.
A breath.
They could finally take a breath and relax fully.
“Oh, my hero! How could I ever repay you?” Wally joked as he squeezed Dick close.
The other ran his fingers through unruly hair and couldn’t help but pepper kisses all over that adorable face of his. He led them to the couch as he said, “Me? You’re the one with the quick mouth and got Nite-Mite to bring us back home. You’re my actual hero.”
“Thank you thank you! I try,” the speedster gloated as he bowed. He pulled Dick to his side and stuck to him like glue as they sank into the cushions. He didn’t say it, Dick didn’t need him to, but he was coming down from his nerves. Sure it was a game. Sure Nite-Mite liked him. Sure they got back home. But that could’ve gone worse. It could’ve all gone so much worse. They were at Nite-Mite’s mercy. They could do nothing to stop him. They could’ve been trapped playing his games forever.
But they were fine.
They were all fine.
Wally was still calming down from those realizations as Dick rested his head on a strong shoulder. He tried to give soothing rubs to the speedsters legs to bring down his raging heartbeat.
They were fine.
They were safe.
They stayed like that for a moment - catching their breaths, reassuring one another.
“You good?”
“Yeah. I’m good. You?”
“Couldn’t be better.”
The silence was nice. The slow was nice. The night had been so hectic - too many things happening at once. It was nice to just sit and enjoy each other’s airspace.
But Dick could only stand the quiet for so long. He fidgeted with a loose thread on Wally’s jeans as he muttered, “I should probably call the girls and apologize for all that.”
Wally scoffed as he buried his nose in soft dark hair. “Yeah, you really gotta find a way to make it up to them.” Dick could feel the smile form on top of his head as he could feel the other’s mood shift. “Buuuut I know how you can make it up to me right now.”
The vigilante scoffed at his boyfriend. He pried himself a few centimeters away from that warmth and already started missing it. “My god, you horn-dog. Can you keep it in your pants for ten minutes? I thought you still wanted to see the movie.”
“Eh, don’t really feel like going out anymore. Besides, I’ve watched you go on 3 dates today and I’m getting a bit jealous. Might wanna keep you locked up all to myself.”
“Don’t even joke,” he said with no bite, “And one of those wasn’t even a date. Besides, I didn't even do anything with them. If you were paying attention, I only had eyes for one person.”
Wally’s hand drifted further down Dick’s body and landed on his hip lovingly. “Oh yeah? And who was that?”
Dick scoffed. “Just get over here, Wall.”
They both chuckled at each other but met in the middle to share a kiss both were dying to give each other all day.