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It takes a wedding before Sergio comes to the realisation that none of his relationships would ever be the same. It takes 6 years, 9 months and 3 children before he can even fulfil his duty as a lover in the first place, and it takes a late night dinner and an incessant annoyance before he can put a ring on Pilar's finger.
She's pretty, he'll say admittedly. In her white dress (that is anything but simple) yet the word beautiful carries too much weight for him to have the courage to tie it to her face or name. It dies down on his tongue so naturally. So he stands next to her, stiff. Holding his own whilst baring his teeth in an uncanny smile for everyone around him to see - for them to rest assured that he is truly okay with this arrangement. He isn't. The facade is seemingly elongated till death do them part as they've vowed to a priest. His friends and family stare at them in awe and there's no better feeling in the world, one would assume, but Sergio can look past the overbearing decorations and galore of flowers that will undoubtedly wilt within the next few days. He can look past it all and stare wide eyed and doomed into his best friend's soul.
Fortunately for him, he never attended Luka's wedding. It would have been odd considering they weren't friends at the time but still, he's fortunate. Because standing at the altar really clears a man's vision and he himself can see Luka's wavering smile and teary eyes watching him as close as ever yet there's a glimmer of distance that shines between them and only then does Sergio realise his breath is caught and the words that die on his lips for Pilar, come up with a certain ease for his teammate.
The rest of the celebration is a haze. Mostly everyone is blackout drunk including his bride but he isn't looking for her, he never is. He finds himself in a corner with Luka who's mumbling something incoherently and Sergio can latch onto each individual syllable until it's burned into every part of his mind. His own wife is sat in some distant corner probably pondering a new excuse as to why she's feeling another man up when her husband is in plain sight but he pays it no attention. Luka just tugs the front of Sergio's suit and grimaces about how he has a sudden need to throw up the wedding cake. Alas, they find themselves in a spectacularly fancy bathroom with Luka emptying his guts out into one of the toilets. The retching noise pulls a similar one from Sergio and he's reminded of his slight emetophobia but he pulls through because it's Luka. He has to be here for him no matter what and he stays silently patting his back waiting for him to calm down. They stay like that for a while, on the black and white tiles with Sergio rubbing Luka and it takes some time before he can wipe his mouth and pop a mint into it. Sergio - like the gentleman he is - opts to flush the toilet as the former barely has the strength or capacity to push himself up. Instead he holds a hand out for the shorter to grab onto and he takes him to the sink so they can both wash their hands.
It's Luka who breaks the silence with a whimper that slowly but surely drags out into long cries and Sergio can't do anything but stare at him (it's the only thing he's ever done).
"Why her?" he sniffles and the taller is taken aback. Because wasn't Luka the one with a pretty wife and perfect life from before they had even met? So why feel the sudden urge to bring this up now? After all the years of yearning and touches or embraces that longed for something more and ended with nothing.
"You have no right to say that to me." is all Sergio can muster up.
Luka seems furious because there's a sudden strength that causes him to grip his tie and coldly utter "How long will this fake relationship of yours last before you start to hate yourself?"
He doesn't remember the last time he's had the urge to hit Luka. Maybe there was never even a first time, but at this moment Sergio has to wrap his hands around Luka's wrists, hard enough to bruise, so they can do something other than lunge at him, and spit "You're the only one who's in a fake relationship. You fell in love with me despite you having a wife, despite you having children."
And clearly it strikes a nerve, one unbeknownst to Sergio and the look on Luka's face is all that he needs to get himself to calm down.
"I didn't mean that" Yes he did.
It's like Luka can read his mind, he might as well be able to because there's no other explanation as to why he knows everything his best friend is thinking.
"You're a liar, a stupid fucking liar and I can't believe I even showed up today." Luka manages to slur. He pushes Sergio's wrists off of him just to get his waist tugged.
"Listen I didn't mean it" Once again, he's a liar.
"I'm not saying that you love me because I know you don't" Third times the charm. "I'm not saying anything."
And what's Luka supposed to say to that? Should he confess that he's wrong? That he's always loved Sergio since the moment he laid eyes on him and then kiss him even more stupid than he already is? Instead, he settles for a silent sigh of relief and detangling himself from Sergio's grasp as something inside him completely shatters.
Like clockwork, they return to normal. They leave the bathroom with a respective distance between them because now it'll always be there. From wife to husband to husband to wife. And Sergio - he doesn't believe in true love, essentially. He believes in his own truth which ultimately makes him a hypocritical liar because he's never loved Luka and he never will.