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Christina is incredibly tired by the time they reach the shore. So tired that her situational awareness skills are slipping. "Almost there…" Jeremy says, and she can tell by the way his posture shifts that he is now able to touch the bottom.
Those words provide her with far too much comfort, she loosens her grip on Jeremy's shoulder and tries to plant her own feet down before realizing abruptly that she is much shorter than him. She shrieks, feeling herself start to sink as she tries and fails to remember how to swim.
Her head dips underwater and she begins to panic. Her arm catches on something and she can tell by how much colder she gets immediately after it happens, that whatever it was had been able to tear the suit.
Then there's pain… terrible, terrible pain. Someone tries to yank her above the water, but that only makes the injury worse. She turns her attention to what she can now see is an extremely sharp branch (she's glad it's not a sea creature, at least) and squeezes her eyes shut before pulling it out of her flesh.
By the time they finally get her head above the surface, she's sobbing. "You're okay, it's okay…" Reid soothes as she clings to Jeremy again. But she's not okay. Her blood is turning the water red around them and freezing water is slowly filling her suit.
"Shhhh, don't cry. It's alright." Jeremy adds, hastening to carry her the rest of the way. If freezing salt water was entering a fresh wound on your body, you'd be crying too, she thinks bitterly.
"Here you go…" Reid helps lift her onto a boulder. "Oh my God," Jeremy says first. Christina finally gets the chance to actually survey her wound, and she immediately turns away, pressing her head into Reid's shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Christina…" Reid says, even though it's really not his fault. "It's okay, just—" she takes a deep breath. She feels a bit more level-headed now that she's out of the water. "There's water in my suit. I need it off," she says, already fighting to unclasp the straps securing the sodden material to her body. She can't really feel her feet anymore as most of the water has pooled near her legs.
"Yeah, we should all take our suits off. They're not going to help keep us warm if they're wet." She knows he's right, but she really only cares about herself right now. "I can't feel my feet," she says matter-of-factly, and that prompts Jeremy and Reid to hasten their efforts to get her taken care of first.
The wound on her arm is still steadily bleeding once all of their suits are taken off and they've walked further inland. Fortunately, they brought two of the first aid-kits. Reid opens the one that she'd had on her (the bag itself was waterproof and thankfully hadn't incurred too much damage).
"Okay," he's kneeling in front of her. Jeremy's got a few of the driest sticks they could find and is sitting a few feet away, trying to start a fire while Victor begins to construct a haphazard structure.
"I'm going to have to clean this," Reid says with a frown. Christina winces, because she knows that's going to hurt so badly… but she doesn't want Reid to feel guilty about having to do it, so she makes a joke. "What? A freezing cold salt water bath wasn't enough?"
He laughs, but then pulls out an iodine swabstick. Christina closes her eyes and refuses to watch. When she feels the familiar sting she bites down on her lip and tries to suppress the exclamation of pain she feels mounting in her chest. "It's okay to scream, you know…" Reid murmurs, watching her face turn red. She shakes her head and continues to hold her breath until he's finished.
Reid uses some gauze to dab up the remaining blood and iodine. "We didn't have room for the pain medications," he informs her regretfully. She sighs, "I'll live…"
He nods, before quickly applying a bandage. She knows as soon as it goes on that it's going to be a nightmare to get off… but she doesn't say anything.
Jeremy gets a spark started shortly after and they all make sure Christina is in the warmest spot. She is at the highest risk for hypothermia for several reasons. "Are you in pain?" Jeremy asks, settling next to her.
"Yeah… but I've had worse." It's hardly true… there are only a few things she's experienced that could top this, but she doesn't want him to spend all his time worrying about her.
Victor manages to cobble together a decent shelter and they all pack in, making sure Christina is at the center of their Integrity Cuddle Pile.
—
The pain is not any better when she wakes up the next morning. In fact, it's much, much worse… but there's really nothing she can do about that. They don't have painkillers and there's no time to complain when all of their energy needs to go towards making sure everyone survives.
Reid and Victor work on starting a fire while Jeremy wanders around collecting branches to make their shelter more effective. He's like a bird building a nest, she thinks to herself with a snort before realizing that she's doing absolutely nothing to help.
"Can I do anything?" Reid shakes his head immediately. "We're okay, you just sit back and rest," he tells her with a smile. "Well, you could help us start the fire at least…" Victor grumbles.
"Sure…" she grabs a few small sticks from the ground and starts rubbing them together, trying to ignore the pain in her arm that comes with the repetitive motion. "We've got it, Christina… it's okay," Reid assures her, nearly getting a spark with his own two sticks.
"She can't just sit there and do nothing just because she got hurt." Christina's inclined to agree with Victor, but she's also not sure why he's so apathetic this morning. Sure, none of them slept well and there's no such thing as morning coffee out in the wilderness, but she has a feeling there's something else going on.
"I didn't say that…" Reid backtracks with a frown. "You kinda did."
Christina groans, cutting off their argument. "Stop it. Reid, I'm not an invalid, I can help start the fire. And Ike, there's no point in picking fights. We're no use to each other if we're angry," she says sternly, before catching a large spark and quickly using it to light the pile of dry sticks in front of them.
No one says anything more about what she'd said beforehand, so she can only hope they didn't take it too harshly. She just wants everyone to survive: they can't do that if they're at odds, but clearly, Victor doesn't see it that way.
Jeremy returns, looking tired, but also relatively happy. She smiles when she sees him and motions for him to sit next to her. "You still doing okay, Ike?" Reid asks, exhaustion apparent in his voice. "Fine," comes the clipped response.
Jeremy looks at her with confusion at Victor's sudden cold shoulder. Christina just sighs before turning to Victor with a smile. She's not sure why she has to be the one to try and keep the peace and raise everyone's spirits. She's injured, for crying out loud… but if she doesn't do it, she's not sure who will.
"I'm sure they're doing everything they can to find us." She's taking a shot in the dark as to what's bothering him, but clearly she hits a nerve. "Well, they're not doing enough." He shoves her away from him and storms off.
She settles back next to Jeremy and looks at him with the eyes of a kicked puppy. "You didn't do anything wrong…" he whispers, wrapping an arm around her back and resting a hand on her uninjured arm. She leans into his shoulder in response.
—
By the end of the day, Christina has to admit that she isn't feeling well. There are a million possibilities as to what it could be and after an hour or so of just hoping it would go away on its own, she realizes she has to speak up.
Victor's a few feet away, trying to get any of their communication devices to send an SOS signal. The rest of them are just trying to stay warm by the fire. The sun is starting to set over the mountains; under any other circumstances, Christina would be awed by the scenery, but right now she's in too much pain to even think about it.
"Reid…" she says hesitantly, refusing to look up. "Hmmm?" He doesn't look up either. "I… I'm not feeling too good…" That gets his attention.
"What's wrong?" She's really not sure. "I don't know… I feel… achy." She's not sure how else to describe it. Reid stands up and moves closer, placing a hand on her forehead. "You're warm," he notes, kneeling in front of her and pulling her arm out to inspect it.
"We should probably change your bandage anyway." Her heart skips a beat… that sounds like hell. But Reid's already getting the supplies from the first aid kit.
She pulls her arm away defensively and Reid looks up, confusion written across his features. "I'm scared," she blurts out before she can stop herself. Reid's face softens, "I know… but it needs to be done."
Christina hesitantly rests her arm back in her lap, the old bandage turned to the sky. Jeremy's gone on a walk to look for anything that could be of use to them, and Victor still seems pissed at the world. He keeps growling at the devices in his hand as if it's somehow their fault they're all in this predicament. She's not sure he'd be very good at comfort right now…
Reid takes an alcohol wipe to the edge of the bandage where it's most lifted and it immediately stings. "Oh God…" she flinches away. Reid winces and sits back for a moment. "I know…" he rubs her other shoulder soothingly for a moment.
"Would you rather I go slow or fast?" He gives her a choice, bless him. "Slow…" Normally, she would say fast, ask him to just rip it off, but she has a feeling she wouldn't survive that… part of her knows it's infected without even seeing it. She just knows.
Jeremy returns and she perks up slightly. "What's going on?" he asks, immediately sitting down beside her. "We need to change her bandage…" Reid says, taking the wipe to the bandage again. Christina grabs Jeremy's arm and clings to it.
She tries not to cry, but it hurts so badly… it genuinely feels like her skin is being ripped off and maybe that's dramatic, but- "Stop." Reid immediately freezes.
She takes a few gasping breaths and relishes the brief reprieve in the pain. "Okay…"
He moves to continue, but she stops him again. "I… I'm going to scream. You have to keep going." He frowns at her. "It's okay… we can keep going slow." She shakes her head.
"Just get it over with." He nods, but hesitates before continuing, faster than before.
Christina really tries not to, but ends up screaming for most of it. By the time Reid finally gets the old bandage off, she's exhausted from crying and hypeventillating so much.
"It's done…" Reid tells her somberly. She brings her head up from Jeremy's shoulder; there are still tears streaming down her face, but she is no longer sobbing quite so uncontrollably. She nearly gags when she sees it. "Valid reaction…" Reid says with a sigh, looking at the first aid-kit and trying to figure out anything that could help.
"It's definitely infected then?" Jeremy asks, cringing. The wound is barely closed and the entire area around it is red, puffy, and oozing with pus. "Yeah, I'd say so…"
Christina wants to throw up. Not only because of the nausea the infection is causing and how disgusting the wound looks… but also because she's terrified that this is going to be the thing that kills her. In the middle of the Canadian wilderness with no one but her friends, dying because of an infected wound that she sustained because she was tired and a terrible swimmer… not exactly the ending she'd pictured for herself.
"It's okay… I'll clean it up again and re-bandage it." They don't have any medication that can help with the pain or the fever. She's just going to have to tough it out and wait for rescue.
Re-bandaging it is way less painful than taking the bandage off was, but it still leaves her feeling exhausted. "We can call it a night…" Reid says when he finally finishes, zipping the first-aid bag up and standing.
"Yeah…" she agrees. As she makes her way to their makeshift shelter, she's in too much pain to notice Jeremy flagging.
Christina is too tired to see that he's even more exhausted. She cuddles up next to him and buries her head in his chest. "You're so warm…" he murmurs, moving closer to her. She laughs quietly, "I'm glad my fever is benefiting you."
They're both asleep seconds later.
—
She wakes to the sound of footsteps in the snow as Reid approaches the shelter. She whines when the pain hits her suddenly. "Are you alright, Tina?" he whispers, settling down in the only spot left.
She's too tired to pretend she's fine, "Hurts…"
"I know…" he sighs, reaching over to lay a hand on her shoulder. "We're gonna get you out of here… just hang in there." She nods and tries to fall back asleep. Part of her is scared to sleep… what if she never wakes up? But her body is too exhausted for her brain to keep her awake.
13 hours later
She's been hazily in and out of consciousness since she woke up this morning. She knows something is wrong with Jeremy, but is too sick to pay much attention.
Suddenly she blinks and she's no longer outside. That's a good thing right? She's not sure she's in a building though… her hearing kicks in and she immediately hears the sound of a helicopter.
She turns her head and sees Jeremy laying next to her, wrapped in a space blanket just like her. His eyes are closed, but he seems to be alive at the very least. She breathes a sigh of relief. Fatigue washes over her, they're being rescued… Jeremy's alive… everything's going to be alright…
Something cold presses into her ear and she jumps slightly, her eyes snapping back open. A person in military attire is sitting next to her, looking at the reading from a thermometer. She says something, but Christina can't hear her over the chopper. She gives Christina a comforting pat on the shoulder and mouths an overexaggerated phrase that clearly means something along the lines of "you're gonna be okay."
A hand grabs hers and she glances over to see Jeremy whose eyes are now open and darting around anxiously. He squeezes her hand in a way that she immediately knows is morse code.
•• -- ••• -•- •- ••-• • -••
I'm scared.
-- • - --- ---
She responds. Me too.
-•-- --- ••- --- -•- •- -•--
He asks. You okay?
•- •-•• •• •••- • •• -• •--• •- •• -• -•-- --- ••-
Alive. In pain. You? It's the best summary of a response she can come up with. She's also having a bit of trouble remembering some of the letters in her feverish state so she has limited options.
••• •- -- •
He replies. Same.
She laughs dazedly and gives his hand one last meaningless squeeze before sleep claims her again.
—
The next time she wakes, she's most definitely in a hospital. She would panic if she had the energy, but she's still so tired… "Tina?"
She hums in response, trying to pry her eyes open. "Hey… how are you feeling?" The voice belongs to Victor and he sounds a lot less pissed off than he did last time they spoke, which she's extremely grateful for. She feels like shit, but she doesn't want to talk about that.
"Where…?" She doesn't have the energy to finish the sentence. "We're at a military hospital in Alaska." She hums in acknowledgment, taking that information in. "What's wrong with me?" she gasps, feeling out of breath even after just speaking softly.
"Sepsis… but they're treating it. You're improving rapidly." She doesn't feel like she's getting better…
She shifts slightly in bed and her entire body flares with agonising pain. She hisses, tears springing to her eyes. "Try not to move…" he warns a little too late. To distract herself, she quickly changes the topic of conversation. "Jeremy…" she groans, "Is he okay?"
"Yeah, he's also getting better." Victor clearly doesn't want to overwhelm her with the details, but she wishes he would. "Reid…?"
"He's fine, they're in the room next door." He tells her with a nod. "I…" She doesn't even remember what she wanted to say. "You…?" She questions and he shrugs in response.
"You can go back to sleep, it's okay… we're safe now." She smiles her first genuine—albeit tired—smile in three days.
"Can you hold my hand?" she whispers, her eyes slipping shut. "Yeah…" he says, his voice gentle as he intertwines his fingers with hers, stroking her thumb with slow, rhythmic movements.
"I'm sorry about how I was acting before we were rescued…" he apologizes as she allows her eyes to flutter shut. Christina has to use all of her willpower not to groan. "It doesn't matter… we're safe now." She really doesn't have the energy to have this conversation right now.
"I didn't really do much to help get us here…" She rolls her eyes behind her eyelids. "I seem to recall you trying for hours to get our communication devices working." Her heart rate monitor starts beeping behind her.
She opens one eye to try and determine the problem. "I'm sorry, this is clearly stressing you out—" he pulls his hand away.
She grabs it before he can fully pull back. "No. I'm not stressed, I'm just sick…" She's actually incredibly stressed, but she's going to be even more stressed if she falls asleep without doing her best to put his guilt to rest.
"I love you. And we all understand. None of us wanted to be out there, and we all had our own ways of dealing with it. We trained to be in space and while we did train for wilderness survival, clearly, we could've used a lot more." She's actually surprised at how well she's doing.
"And I say this for all of us… you can beat yourself up about all the things you did or didn't do, or you can be grateful we're alive." Victor is silent, but she doesn't know what else to say. She opens her eyes and can see that he's clearly holding back tears.
"Thank you…" is all he says when he sees her staring. "Are you gonna be okay?" she asks, her face caught somewhere between a concerned frown and an expression of exhaustion. He nods, quickly pulling himself together. "Are you sure?"
"Positive." She sighs because she knows he's not being completely truthful. "Can you…" she rephrases, "If you need more reassurance, go talk to Reid… I'm sure he'll have way more profound things to say."
"You don't give yourself enough credit." Victor says with a laugh. "Mmmm…" she hums, her eyes slipping shut again. "You can go to sleep, I'm sorry for bothering you with my feelings…"
"You can bother me with your feelings anytime… but if you keep talking right now, I will fall asleep on you." He laughs, squeezing her hand. "Fair…"
She's asleep seconds later.