Work Text:
June 4th, 1:34pm
[1:34pm Mackerel] chuuyas going to be so so sad that im gone for so long~
[1:34pm Mackerel] whats chibi supposed to do without me around??
[1:36pm Slug] stfu dazai
[1:36pm Slug] and stop calling me that
[1:37pm Slug] im glad ill finally have time away from you. youre insufferable to be around
[1:37pm Mackerel] youre so mean to me~
[1:37pm Mackerel] makes me want to cry!
[1:38pm Slug] dont you have a flight to catch you waste of bandages
[1:38pm Mackerel] so impatient for me to leave~
[1:38pm Mackerel] ill try not to die before i land dw chuuya
[1:39pm Mackerel] anyway i still need to find a beautiful woman willing to commit double suicide with me~
[1:40pm Slug] whatever dazai i have important things to do im busy
[1:40pm Mackerel] right right youre soo busy!
[1:41pm Mackerel] yk that replying is optional~ you act as if youre physically glued onto your phone forced to talk to me
[Slug read at 1:41pm]
June 5th, 3:15am
[3:15am Slug] youre not dead are you
[3:19am Slug] bastard ik youre not dead respond
June 6th, 2:14am
[2:14am Mackerel] chuuyaa
[2:14am Mackerel] ive had a bit of time to explore athens theres so much to do
[2:16am Slug] youre an asshole
[2:16am Mackerel] no need to be so aggressive chibi
[Slug read at 2:16am]
[2:24am Mackerel] a bird shit on me
[2:27am Slug] well deserved
[2:30am Slug] just go back to the hotel and wash it off
[2:32am Mackerel] its too early to return!
[2:32am Mackerel] i wont want to leave once i go back
[2:32am Mackerel] its 10pm
[2:32am Mackerel] i got off work a few hours ago
[2:33am Mackerel] the city is so nice at night~
[2:33am Slug] ignore my advice then idiot
[2:33am Slug] go walk around with bird shit on you
[2:33am Slug] youre disgusting
[Mackerel sent a picture at 2:47am]
[2:47am Mackerel] the service isnt too good here its been almost 10 minutes since i tried sending you a photo idk when it will send
[Mackerel sent a picture at 2:48am]
[2:48am Mackerel] it says the message failed to send so im trying again
[2:50am Slug] it sent twice.
[2:50am Slug] WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SHOW ME?
[2:50am Slug] youre weird as hell yk that?
[2:57am Mackerel] it blends in with my hair so well im surprised you saw it so quick
[2:57am Mackerel] so observant~
[2:57am Slug] you sent a closeup of it on your hair. its kind of fucking difficult to miss idk if youve realized that yet???
[2:57am Mackerel] its dark outside though!!
[2:57am Slug] you used flash.
[2:58am Slug] youre actually disgusting for walking around with that on you
[Mackerel read at 2:58am]
[3:27am Mackerel] good thing i used my delicious smelling coconut mango shampoo just now~
[Slug read at 3:27am]
[3:30am Slug] …you still have that
[3:31am Mackerel] yes of course!
[3:31am Mackerel] i take it with me whenever i travel
[3:31am Mackerel] hygiene is important is it not~
[3:32am Slug] i gave you that shampoo years ago. thats so expired
[3:32am Slug] the fact that theres still shampoo left in that bottle concerns me
[3:33am Slug] i really dont have the energy to deal with your bullshit rn its way too late for this shit
[3:37am Mackerel] what time is it in yokohama right now
[3:37am Slug] three in the morning
[3:38am Mackerel] chibi!!
[3:38am Mackerel] beauty sleep is important dont you know~
[3:38am Mackerel] at least 8 hours!
[3:39am Slug] hypocritical of YOU to say that dumbass
[3:39am Slug] and as i said i dont have the energy to deal with you rn… so leave me alone
[3:41am Mackerel] so cruel…
[Slug read at 3:41am]
June 10th, 8:04pm
[8:04pm Slug] idiot
[8:04pm Slug] found your stupid suicide book while cleaning my apartment
[8:04pm Slug] surprised you didnt bring it
[Mackerel read at 11:10pm]
[11:10pm Mackerel] i miss it so much…
[11:10pm Mackerel] i rushed out to go to the airport and forgot to bring it
[11:10pm Mackerel] staring at the walls has been fun though~
[11:11pm Mackerel] gives me time to think
[11:34pm Slug] as if your tiny ass brain could handle more than one thought at a time
[11:35pm Mackerel] i actually have a higher iq than you
[11:35pm Slug] according to what..?
[11:35pm Mackerel] me~
[11:35pm Mackerel] the taller you are the smarter you are
[11:35pm Slug] proving my point
[11:36pm Mackerel] and you just so happen to be teeny tiny
[11:36pm Mackerel] sometimes i question if my vision is bad or if youre just too tiny to see clearly without a microscope~
[11:36pm Slug] k
[11:36pm Slug] how does this correlate to what i was saying?
[11:37pm Mackerel] your iq isnt high enough to comprehend
[11:37pm Mackerel] talk to me once youve grown
[11:37pm Slug] k
[11:42pm Mackerel] on a train
[11:44pm Slug] k
[11:47pm Mackerel] chu chu
[11:47pm Slug] what???
[11:47pm Mackerel] your name~ chuuya… chu chu! like a train!
[11:47pm Slug] dazai.
[11:48pm Mackerel] you even let out smoke just like one~ reminds me of when youre angry
[11:48pm Slug] i will beat the living shit out of you once you get back
[11:48pm Slug] that is a promise.
[11:48pm Slug] NEVER call me that again
[11:49pm Mackerel] never say never chu chu thats bad~
[11:49pm Slug] do you seriously always have to get the last word in??
[11:50pm Mackerel] yes its very necessary~
[11:51pm Slug] no its not
[11:51pm Mackerel] is
[11:51pm Slug] not
[11:51pm Mackerel] is
[11:51pm Slug] not.
[11:52pm Slug] and since you enjoy being a smartass all the time if you combine both of our texts it makes “is not” so therefore stfu
[11:53pm Mackerel] gulp
[11:53pm Slug] stop.
[11:53pm Mackerel] giggle
[Slug read at 11:53pm]
June 12th, 4:48am
[4:48am Slug] sre you hust planning to forget i exost while youre awsy??
[4:56am Mackerel] how could you accuse me of such a thing!!
[4:56am Mackerel] i havent forgotten you just yet chuuya~
[Slug read at 4:56am]
[4:58am Slug] fucjing lisr
[4:58am Mackerel] you typing with your eyes closed or something??
[4:59am Slug] hands slow
[4:59am Slug] dint igmore whst i said
[4:59am Mackerel] damn chuuya how long has it been since you last slept
[Slug read at 4:59am]
[5:01am Slug] im getting resdy for wirk just snseer my wuestion
[5:01am Mackerel] no way youre getting sent on a mission like that…
[5:01am Mackerel] you probably look like absolute shit rn
[5:02am Slug] shut ip
[5:02am Mackerel] answer my question
[Slug read at 5:02am]
[5:04am Slug] since yestrrdsy. judt hsd a long dsy
[5:06am Slug] slso im slreasy pn a mission
[5:06am Slug] nit donw worh it yet
[5:06am Mackerel] how do you expect to get anything done
[Slug read at 5:06am]
[5:11am Slug] ill mansge. nit the firdt time i do missions loke this
[5:11am Slug] snseer my quedtion
[5:12am Mackerel] why are you talking to me while getting ready?
[5:12am Slug] dazsi.
[Mackerel read at 5:16am]
[5:17am Mackerel] no chuuya i havent forgotten about you
[5:17am Mackerel] it would be difficult to
[5:20am Mackerel] the case were on has been taking longer than expected
[5:20am Mackerel] these past few days have been pretty busy
[5:23am Mackerel] chibi i have to go before kunikida beats my ass for being on my phone
[5:26am Slug] stop.
[5:26am Mackerel] dont start hating me more than you already do
[5:26am Mackerel] i know you miss seeing my pretty face its ok~
[Slug read at 5:26am]
[5:28am Slug] yiu wish
[5:28am Slug] yourw disgustinf ti look st
[Mackerel read at 5:28am]
June 13th, 1:14pm
[1:14pm Mackerel] atsushi is so slow to order food
[Mackerel sent a picture at 1:14pm]
[1:14pm Mackerel] look at him hes had that same confused expression looking through the menu for about 5 minutes now
[Slug read at 8:12pm]
[8:12pm Slug] what language was the menu in
[Mackerel read at 11:09pm]
[11:09pm Mackerel] chuuya resurrected~
[11:09pm Mackerel] greek
[11:13pm Slug] fuck off
[11:13pm Slug] thats probably why then dumbass
[11:13pm Slug] you probably didnt understand shit either
[11:14pm Mackerel] my food was delicious so clearly i understood just fine
[11:14pm Slug] right..
[11:15pm Mackerel] the waiter we had told us an interesting story
[11:15pm Mackerel] and im forcing you to listen to it even if you dont want to
[11:16pm Slug] i didnt even say anything???
[11:17pm Mackerel] i forced atsushi to order first~
[11:17pm Mackerel] he borrowed my phone to look at google translate bc he couldnt pronounce his food
[11:17pm Mackerel] his phone was dead
[11:17pm Mackerel] when the waiter asked him what he wanted he said it super quietly while very intently staring at the phone
[11:18pm Mackerel] the waiter asked him to speak up
[11:18pm Mackerel] poor atsushi was scared of pronouncing his order wrong~
[11:18pm Mackerel] he kept trying to say his order but failed…
[11:19pm Mackerel] he desperately needed help
[11:19pm Mackerel] so naturally as the great and amazing mentor i am
[11:19pm Mackerel] i ordered for the both of us since i was having the same thing as him
[11:19pm Mackerel] so when i was telling the waiter our order
[11:20pm Slug] that you could definitely read better than atsushi
[11:20pm Mackerel] your head isnt just for hair chuuya~ use your brain
[11:20pm Mackerel] i made google translate pronounce it for me and i showed him the phone
[11:21pm Mackerel] kunikida got mad at me not sure why
[11:22pm Mackerel] anyway the waiter apologized saying that hes completely deaf in one ear and is hard of hearing in his other one
[11:22pm Mackerel] and that hes usually not the one taking orders but that today he was short staffed
[11:22pm Mackerel] he told us that when he was a baby his mother kissed him right on his ear and it caused him to lose his hearing on one side permanently
[11:22pm Mackerel] tragic really
[11:22pm Slug] oh wow
[11:24pm Mackerel] if i had to have another ability i think id make that my ability~
[11:24pm Mackerel] wherever i kiss someone that part of their body will stop working!
[11:24pm Slug] thats weird as shit??
[11:25pm Slug] and insensitive??
[11:25pm Mackerel] and ik exactly what id do first~
[11:25pm Mackerel] id figure out how to commit double suicide with a woman!
[11:25pm Mackerel] so romantic~
[11:26pm Mackerel] i kiss her and she dies! i just need to figure out my death…
[11:28pm Mackerel] actually that would be the second thing i do
[11:28pm Mackerel] first id kiss you on the mouth so i never have to hear your voice again~
[11:28pm Slug] what the fuck?????
[11:29pm Slug] what the fuck is that hypothetical situation
[11:29pm Slug] fucking freak
[11:29pm Slug] what is your issue
[11:29pm Slug] i dont want to be near your nasty ass lips
[11:29pm Slug] go kys with some other woman instead
[11:29pm Mackerel] and after id kiss your hands so you cant use corruption against me
[11:30pm Slug] you have serious mental issues.
[11:31pm Mackerel] oh then id kiss your legs too bc you could always just kick me
[11:31pm Mackerel] and then id commit double suicide with a woman~
[11:31pm Slug] it amazes me that you actively work on important cases yet constantly spew straight bs
[11:32pm Mackerel] im just too amazing~
[11:32pm Mackerel] what would your ability be if you had to have a different one??
[Slug read at 11:32pm]
[11:36pm Slug] probably one where i could shrink people to the size of a tiny insect
[11:36pm Slug] it would last four hours unless i revert it earlier and they wouldnt be able to use their ability until they return back to normal
[11:37pm Mackerel] yawn
[11:37pm Mackerel] mine is more interesting~
[11:38pm Slug] i think id only use my ability on you
[11:38pm Slug] whenever you piss me off ill use my ability
[11:38pm Slug] and to make sure you dont end up dying from people stepping on you ill hide you in my pocket
[11:38pm Mackerel] and id crawl out
[11:39pm Slug] no you wouldnt because my ability wouldnt let you
[11:39pm Mackerel] now youre just making stuff up to make your loser ability seem competent
[11:39pm Mackerel] at least i was consistent with mine
[11:40pm Slug] yours is weird as shit
[11:41pm Mackerel] i disagree~
[Slug read at 11:41pm]
June 15th 5:30pm
[5:30pm Mackerel] just saw a kid taller than you
[5:31pm Mackerel] wait shit i forgot to charge my phone last night its about to die
[5:31pm Mackerel] its only 11 rn too
[5:56pm Slug] choosing to ignore your comment.
[5:56pm Slug] dazai i seriously dont get how you enjoy drinking sake
[5:57pm Slug] tried it again to see if maybe it would taste different
[5:57pm Slug] but it still tastes like absolute shit
[Mackerel read at 3:02am]
[3:02am Mackerel] stop dont talk to me about sake
[3:02am Mackerel] its been so long since i last had…
[3:02am Mackerel] makes me sad
[3:04am Mackerel] you voluntarily went out and bought sake??
[3:05am Slug] no i took from one of the bottles i had in the fridge
[3:05am Mackerel] ok so MY bottles
[3:06am Slug] you have an issue with it?
[3:06am Slug] its MY apartment dumb fuck
[3:06am Mackerel] leave me some for when i get back~
[3:07am Slug] all yours…
[Mackerel read at 3:07am]
June 16th, 6:02am
[6:02am Slug] i have a grey hair.
[6:02am Slug] at my age i shouldnt have grey hair.
[6:02am Slug] its your fault for being such a pain in the ass all the time
[6:04am Mackerel] that has nothing to do with me
[6:04am Mackerel] youre always angry thats not my fault chibi~
[6:04am Slug] ill have you know that im a very fucking delightful person to be around.
[6:05am Slug] aka when im not near you.
[6:05am Slug] you stress me out in a way that no one else can
[6:05am Mackerel] aw that means so much to me~
[6:06am Mackerel] id say the feeling is mutual but honestly im never stressed
[6:06am Mackerel] it brings me joy to see you pissed off~
[6:06am Slug] i can fucking tell.
[Mackerel read at 6:06am]
[10:02am Mackerel] hfg
[Slug read at 12:44pm]
[2:13pm Mackerel] texted that in my sleep oops
[Slug read at 3:16pm]
[3:16pm Slug] i assumed
[Mackerel read at 5:04pm]
[11:03pm Mackerel] confirmed im leaving in two days~
[11:03pm Mackerel] weve been occupied with the case majority of the time
[11:04pm Mackerel] and weve visited some places once we finished for the day
[11:04pm Mackerel] but i am thrilled to be leaving soon…
[11:23pm Slug] gross youre coming back already
[11:23pm Slug] ive been so relaxed with you gone
[11:24pm Mackerel] yeah yeah keep lying to yourself
[Slug read at 11:24pm]
June 18th, 7:22pm
[7:22pm Mackerel] i bought red wine
[7:22pm Mackerel] from greece
[7:23pm Mackerel] looks fancy
[7:23pm Mackerel] and tasty
[7:23pm Mackerel] shame no one else but me is here to drink it…
[7:23pm Mackerel] guess ill have to drink it alone…
[7:31pm Slug] uhuh
[7:31pm Mackerel] unless youd want some…
[7:31pm Slug] i dont want to have anything that came from you
[7:32pm Slug] you probably laced it with some shit
[7:32pm Mackerel] dont you worry chuuya its completely safe~
[7:33pm Slug] right bc that sounds so convincing
[7:35pm Mackerel] airpo
[7:39pm Mackerel] kunikida smacked my phone out of my hands
[7:40pm Slug] get on your fucking flight already
[Mackerel read at 7:40pm]