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“I’ll see you tomorrow dad, okay? Get some rest. Yeah, love you too.”
Noelle Holiday closed the door of the hospital room behind her with a soft click. Hooves pressed against linoleum floors as she exited the hospital, waving over her shoulder to the nice monster receptionist.
The fall air of Hometown in the evening was warmer than Noelle expected, the sunset still only beginning to dip down past the horizon. Clouds filled the darkening sky. Noelle put a hand into her satchel-bag, and pulled out a pair of wired headphones.
Sure, she could afford better headphones, but her old, buzzy, terribly earbuds reminded her of childhood and Dess and the cool alternative girls online.
She scrolled through her saved playlists, until landing on one, hidden at the bottom of her phone, full of grunge and metal music. Pressing play, Noelle sighed contentedly as electric guitar and drums blared into her ears.
The walk home from the hospital wasn’t long by any means, but Noelle wasn’t in any rush. She crunched leaves on the sidewalk, occasionally picking particularly nice ones up, stowing them away to press and keep later on.
Click, clack. Click, clack went Noelle’s hooves on the road as she wandered absentmindedly. She stopped as she came to the first intersection of Hometowns main road. Going up would take her home, going right took her to Mr Sans’ shop. She was getting low on candy canes and pencils, probably would be good to stock up.
Noelle checked the sign on the door, a glowing skeleton head. Helpful. She tried the door.
Locked.
“Of course it is Noelle. It’s the night time, why would he still be open??” She wondered out loud, shaking her head at herself.
Noelle was about to turn back and just go home, when she head muffled voices from further across the street.
Her ears perked up, knowing it was bad character to listen in. But Noelle had always been a curious child, so she slowly crept along the road, until she found herself at the apartment buildings at the towns edge.
The voices were getting louder now, they snapped and fought loudly from inside, both voices gravelly. Noelle couldn’t catch much of the conversation, just single words, words like “useless”, “failure”, “runaway” and “social services”.
Yeesh, definitely not something she should be listening in on. Noelle was just about to back off, to pretend she heard nothing, when the sound of a door slamming shut and heavy footsteps started, coming down the stairs.
Noelle ducked behind a nearby tree as the buildings front door flew open and was slammed behind a tall figure. The figure got closer, broad shoulders and messy hair, a hoodie pulled over the figures head. They passed by the tree, not seeing Noelle, muttering under their breath.
“Susie???” Noelle gasped as the figure came into view. Susie stopped in the road a few feet past Noelle, before whirling around, fists clenched.
“Who the hells there? What do you want? If you heard anything I’ll punch your damn lights out!”
Noelle rushed out from behind the tree despite Susie’s threats.
“I’m sorry Susie! It’s just me! Um..just Noelle!”
Susie’s aggressive stance immediately froze, before she pulled her hood down, revealing messy bangs, yellow sclera and…a nasty black eye.
“Noelle, Christ you scared the hell outta me! Uh…sorry bout that.” Susie shoved her hands in her pockets, embarrassed. Noelle smiled softly at her.
“It’s okay faha! Don’t, don’t worry Susie.” Noelle tilted her head, taking a step closer to the purple girl and holding her hand slightly out. “Are you okay? Your eye looks…sore.”
“This, oh nah it’s…it’s fine.” Susie tilted her head in a futile attempt to hide the bruising on her face. “Did you hear all that? The uh, fight?”
“I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to listen in, I was just heading home and stopped trying to get into the shop but of course it’s super late so it wasn’t open and-“
“Noelle, chill, it’s okay.” Susie cut off her ranting.
Noelle laughed slightly, embarrassed. Concentrate Noelle, she’s going through a lot right now.
“Thanks Susie. Sorry I kinda, went on a tangent there.” Noelle smiled, before her face hardened, serious. She looked up into Susie’s eyes. “Do you…need somewhere to stay tonight? I can’t imagine you want to back in there.”
Susie shuffled her feet awkwardly. “Oh nah it’s fine I can probably just…”
Her excuse was cut off when a water droplet landed on her snout.
“Hey what the?!-“
The droplet was followed by another, and another, and another, as the gray clouds Noelle had spotted earlier began to spit rain down over the town.
Susie sighed. “Actually, yeah. A place to crash would be kinda awesome right now.”
Noelle nodded, beginning to walk down the road towards her house, beckoning Susie to follow. “Of course, it’s no problem.” She smiled.
Hoof steps accompanied by Susie’s torn up sneakers taking long strides, the two quickly found themselves splashing through puddles gathering in cracks in the sidewalk.
Noelle rummaged in her bag for a shiny silver key as Susie rested her shoulder against the Holiday estates ornate gate. She pushed dark bangs out of her eyes, grumbling as her wet hair fell back across her face again and again.
After a couple seconds of Noelle’s fumbling, the gate clicked open, creaking slightly. Noelle ushered Susie in, locking the gate behind the two of them.
The Holiday manors driveway had Carol Holidays ornate, stark-white car rested in it like a symbol of power. Noelle sighed as she turned to Susie.
“My moms here. Let me go in okay?” Noelle turned and pointed to one of the many windows in the manor. “That’s my window, go stand under it, I’ll open it up and help you in when the coasts all clear.”
Susie paused from staring in awe at the house (Noelle wasn’t quite sure what she looked so shocked about, Susie had been here before) before looking quizzically at Noelle. “You’re gonna sneak me in? That’s pretty hardcore for yknow, the perfect student.”
“Oh faha, please don’t tell me you think that’s all I’ve got going for me?” Noelle smiled at Susie. “It’ll be fine, really. Try not to freeze please, I’ll be there in just a minute.”
Susie pushed herself against the wall under Noelle’s window, hoodie blending into the shadow, as Noelle pushed open the front door, closing it behind her with a click.
The house was cold, as per usual, and Noelle could hear her mother shuffling around in the kitchen. Noelle called in softly, “Uhm, mom? Are you there?”
Needle-sharp hooves clinked against the marble floors, and Carol appeared from the kitchen. She looked Noelle up and down, hair wet and disheveled from the rain.
“You’re home later than usual. You look a mess.” Her voice was icy and cold.
Noelle felt herself wilt a little under Carol’s uncaring gaze.
“Sorry, mom. Me and dad got wrapped up in talking. I had just left when the rain started. I’m gonna go upstairs and dry off right now.”
Carol nodded distractedly. Noelle dried her hooves on the welcome mat, cleaning them of any leftover mud and grime, before passing her mother silently and beginning to climb the stairs.
“Noelle.” Carol started, in a tone that made Noelle’s heart jump into her throat. There’s no way she could know Susie’s outside, right??
“Uh, y-yes, mom?” Noelle froze, not daring to turn around.
“You don’t have any homework, do you?”
Oh thank the angel.
“No mom, I did it all at lunch.”
Carol gave a hum of non-committal approval as Noelle finished climbing the stairs. Before going into her room, she quickly ran to the bathroom, grabbing a towel for Susie to dry her hair with, before hurrying into her room, closing the door with a relieved sigh.
Noelle knelt on the couch, opening the window, and sticking her head outside of it. Susie’s yellow eyes found hers like searchlights, the direct eye contact making Noelle’s heart flutter slightly.
Susie stage-whispered up to her. “We all good??”
Noelle gave a thumbs up.
“How’re we actually getting me up there? I’m not that tall, or strong enough to like, scale your house.” Susie questioned, observing the distance between the ground and Noelle’s window.
Noelle ducked away from the window quickly, crossing the room to her bed. She pulled odds and ends out from under it, scattering her possessions across the room frantically, before finding what she was looking for.
Noelle grabbed a thick rope, with knots large enough to be used as hand holds, and tied one end to her bedframe. She took the other end and fed it out the window, down to Susie. The lizard girl grabbed the rope, using the knots to haul herself up to the window.
Noelle grabbed her outstretched hand and helped pull Susie through the window onto the couch, both of them rolling back onto the floor in an extremely ungracious fashion, tangled slightly in each other
“Oof. I am not in shape enough for that.” Susie grumbled from the floor. The two untangled themselves, Noelle pulling herself up to her feet and kneeling by the bed to untie the rope as Susie pulled herself into a sitting position on Noelle’s floor.
“Uh…weird question. Why do you have a rope the exact length of the distance between the ground and your room. You’re not some secret super-rebel, right?” Susie asked, laughing slightly.
“Oh no faha not at all! It was my sisters I just, store it in my room, just in case. I never really use it, I’m way too much of a scaredy-cat for that!”
Noelle stuffed the rope under her bed again, pushing it all the way under, before sitting on the edge of her bed, looking at Susie, both of them still wet from the rain.
Noelle grabbed her towel, covered in little candy-cane designs, and offered it to Susie.
Susie took it and dried her hair, shaking it under the towel. When she handed it back to Noelle, her hair was sticking up in every direction, Noelle stifled a laugh with her hand.
“Ah I must look, pretty dorky huh?” Susie flushed a little, patting down her hair, bringing it down to her regular level of messy.
“Nono it’s not bad! It’s sorta…punk looking?” Noelle assured her, drying her blonde hair slowly, brushing it out with a snowflake-design hairbrush.
“Well, speaking of ‘punk looking’,” Susie started, picking up one of the objects Noelle had scattered across her floor. “What’s all this?”
Susie held in her hand a bunch of Polaroids of Noelle, held together with a black hair tie. Noelle felt herself flush pink as Susie took the hairtie off and began shuffling through them.
“Oh nono don’t look at those! They’re nothing!” Noelle started, frantically shaking her head.
Susie spread the photos onto the ground. Pictures of a hangout she had with Catti, both of them in dark makeup, as well as spiked chokers. Catti had a hand around Noelle’s shoulder, Noelle flipped off the camera, laughing.
There were multiple of these photos, one of Noelle and Catti drawing a pentagram in an old notebook, a couple blurred ones of Noelle singing into some form of karaoke microphone, CDs of vintage metal bands spread out across the floor, and a couple of them applying makeup to each other.
“Huh, you used to hang out with that dork?” Susie asked, staring at the photos.
“Uhm, a little, a few years ago.” Noelle rubbed her arm. “I know they’re all really silly photos.”
“Nah you look…super badass.” Susie said, Noelle looked up to meet her eyes, but Susie looked away, her snout and cheeks a slightly darker purple to usual. “You pull off the whole goth look way more than like, anyone.” Susie admitted.
“Faha uh, you wouldn’t say that if you saw Dess. She was way cooler than me.” Noelle swung her feet, scuffing her hooves against the carpet.
“Dyou like…have any pictures of her?” Susie asked, smiling slightly at Noelle, her grin all wonky, teeth yellowed and crooked. “Everyone who’s ever mentioned her talks about her like some sorta yknow, rebel badass. Plus she’s a part of your life, I wanna know.”
Noelle moved off her bed to sit next to Susie on the ground, legs folded under herself. Noelle reached forward and handed Susie a cardboard box with frayed edges. Susie took it from her, calloused and clawed hands brushing against Noelle’s soft furred fingers.
Susie opened the box gently. Inside were various trinkets, some spiky bracelets and rings, a dented mint tin, a scrap of plaid fabric, a pallet of black, sparkly eyeshadow, and below it all another stack of photos. The dinosaur girl took the photos out and flipped through them slowly.
December, “Dess” Holiday, at a slightly younger age than Susie and Noelle were now. Her fur was darker than Noelle’s, her eyes and antlers a striking blue, and her hair messy, styled so the bottoms faded into a vibrant red.
There were pictures of her mid-skateboarding, a couple of her and Asriel Dreemur, Kris’ older brother, holding hands and laughing. One photo showed Dess with a guitar, eyes closed, mid-song. Another showed Dess holding a baseball bat, ruffling Kris’ dark hair as they sulked.
The final photo showed a teenage December and a much-younger Noelle, both with black eyeliner on, Noelle in a massively oversized black shirt with My Chemical Romance written in spiky black letters.
Noelle looked over at the final photo and hid her head in her hands.
“Oh goshhh I forgot that one was in there. Ignore that one!” She begged, embarrassed.
“Not a chance! You look so…small.” Susie replied, her smile almost endearing.
“Faha well I was like, 7? In that photo.” Noelle sighed.
“Nah that’s, not what I mean. I mean like, all the photos with her you look, like, I dunno how to say it without sounding weird…” Susie admitted. “Just sorta, you look kinda distant, and reserved, in everything I’ve seen after she…”
Susie sighed, cutting herself off. “You put a lot of expectations on yourself. I could never do everything you do.”
Noelle tilted her head, confused. “Huh? What are you, talking about Susie? ‘Everything I do’?”
“Yeah I mean like, you do super good in school, you do all the church stuff and track team and on top of that you still are always at the hospital, and being so nice to everyone else.”
Noelle ducked her head and blushed. “You…pay more attention to my schedule than I realised.”
Susie froze up a little, stuttering. “No I mean! I don’t…I’m not watching you!- You’re just…sorta hard not to notice, least to me.”
Hard not to notice?
Noelle played with her hair as Susie continued.
“You’re super nice to everyone. Don’t you ever just, wanna do something just for you? ‘Stead of for everyone else.”
Susie took off her still-damn hoodie and trainers, pushing them to the side. Her scaley arms were littered with bruises and small, jagged scars. Her claws opened and closed as she sighed.
Noelle slowly, reached her hand out, and rested it on Susie’s arm, slowly tracing one of her scars.
“Sometimes I get angry, yeah, sometimes I want to just…run away from everything.” Noelle admitted. “Sometimes I want to leave this town and never come back. Sometimes it feels like…no one ever sees me.”
Noelle looked at Susie and smiled. “But, some people haven’t had enough softness, and kindness, in their lives. And…if I can make a difference, if I can make someone happy, then, I want to. I want to make people happy.”
“Is you being nice ever…fake? Just being nice cus, it’s what people expect.”
Noelle shook her head. “Not very often. And, not with you. I just, actually like being with you. You make me, hope, and believe things can be okay.”
Susie laughed at that, slightly bewildered. One claw came to meet Noelle’s hand on her arm. Susie slowly interlaced their fingers. Neither of them spoke for a minute, Noelle relaxed into the silence, before noticing Susie’s furrowed eyebrows.
“Susie, are you okay?” Noelle asked, bringing one hand up to Susie’s face, the bruise across her cheek and eye, ignoring her heart racing and fingers shaking at being so close to the other girl.
“Yeah, yeah I’m good. I’m…trying to think of what to say that isn’t super dumb.” Susie admitted, laughing.
“You don’t have to say anything. Do you…want to talk about the fight you were having? Before I found you?” Noelle asked.
Susie shook her head. “Nah, it’s okay. I’m feeling a lot better anyway, I’d rather just feel happy, live in the moment, yknow?” She looked over at the remaining items strewn across the floor.
“That’s okay by me.” Noelle smiled, before squinting her eyes as a realization dawned on her. “You…really want to keep poking around my room, don’t you?”
“God I really do, this is sick-“ Susie laughed. “But also, I’m super cold.”
Noelle stood up, and brushed off her skirt. Susie slanted her head quizzically.
“Getting you a change of clothes. None of my stuff will fit you. Poke around all you want, I’ll be back to answer questions soon.” Noelle smiled at Susie, before exiting the room, closing the door softly behind her.
The living room was empty, the kitchen dark too, Carol must’ve gone to bed already, Noelle realised. That was good, that meant the two wouldn’t have to worry about being walked in on or caught.
Walked in on?? That sounds super not right Noelle! You don’t even know if she likes girls! Noelle chided herself internally. She swung open the door to Decembers room, opening the closet and grabbing a baggy pair of joggers and the biggest T-shirt she could find. Before going back to her room, back to Susie, Noelle quickly entered the kitchen, grabbing a variety of snacks, and a small ice pack.
“I’m back!” Noelle announced as she shut the door to her room. Susie was cross legged, surrounded by Noelle’s possessions, holding a box set of CDs.
“What’s this?” Susie asked, holding up the CD.
“Oh it’s an Anime. A good one! I think you’d like it.” Noelle said, slightly embarrassed.
“Anime…you’re gonna have to tell me more to sell me on it.” Susie grinned, already coming up with jokes in the back of her mind.
“Ookay” Noelle said, sitting back down, handing the clothes to Susie, setting down the snacks on the ground, and pressing the ice pack to Susie’s bruised eye, which was slightly bloodshot. “Well, it’s about this high school student, who finds a notebook belonging to this death god, that can kill people. He uses it to try kill criminals and rid the world of evil, but his morals are super super messy.”
Susie shrugged. “That sounds…not terrible, actually. Kinda cool.”
“Yeah!” Noelle smiled, her mind racing with how cool it would be to get to finally talk to someone else about her interests. “And there’s this really cool character called Misa! She’s this model but ends up dating the main character and helps him with his schemes. She’s super pretty and was probably like, my first crush ever and-“
Noelle covered her mouth immediately, realising what she’d said.
Susie looked up, confused. “What is it, what’s wrong with that?-“
“Well I just…admitted I’m into girls. Do you, I mean, I shouldn’t have-“ Noelle stuttered. Stupid stupid Noelle, great way to scare someone off!
“Noelle.” Susie deadpanned. “Why would I have a problem with that?”
Noelle opened her mouth to speak, but came up short with any explanation.
“So…you’re not, grossed out?”
Susie stared at her. “No? I mean, cmon like, it’s normal. Kris is literally non-binary and they’re my best friend. Why would I care?”
Noelle exhaled. “I just, I don’t know. Sometimes I just, being so deep into the church and having to make a good impression because of my mother I just don’t know who’s going to be okay with it! I mean especially if I’m talking to someone who isn’t queer and-“
“Noelle.” Susie leaned forward and put a finger on Noelle’s lips, shutting her up immediately. Her hands were rough and sharp, but caused Noelle’s heart to hammer in her chest all the same.
“Y-yes, uh, Susie?” Noelle stammered helplessly.
“Not queer? You think I’m straight?-“ Susie threw her head back and laughed. Noelle found herself giggling after a few seconds too, Susie’s toothy grin infectious.
“Noelle I’m super gay, how is this even in the question. Look at me-“ Susie cackled until Noelle rushed forward and shushed her softly, mouthing ‘my mom is home!’. The two girls waited in silence for Carols footsteps, for evidence they’d been heard, but it was quiet except for their breathing.
They both sighed, relieved, as they realised they were safe and hadn’t been caught. Susie took a bite of the chocolate bars Noelle had brought upstairs, before asking Noelle to turn away so she could change.
Noelle swivelled around and stared very, very hard at the ground, not thinking about her crush of over a year getting changed directly behind her, in her room.
“You wanna watch the first episode of that anime then? I wanna judge your taste in girls.” Susie asked, piling her jeans and shirt next to her shoes. The T-shirt was a little small on her, but was better than being soaking wet.
Noelle nodded eagerly, putting the CD in the player connected to her TV. Her room was dark and the light from the sunset had long faded, leaving Noelle’s room illuminated by only the blue from her flatscreen. She patted the sofa next to her, Susie sat next to her, spreading the snacks across both their laps.
Noelle pressed play and grabbed the blanket from her bed, wrapping it around her and Susie’s shoulders. The two of them shared snacks and laughed at the dubbing of the show. Outside turned from a dusky gray, to navy blue, to pitch black, dotted with stars.
By the time the fifth episode had finished, Noelle’s head was rested on Susie’s shoulder, face pressed against her neck, one of Susie’s arms around her shoulders, rubbing soft circles over her back. The two had stopped talking and laughing and analysing the show, instead enjoying the comfort of the silence together.
Noelle’s eyes were closed, her breaths soft and deep. Her antlers dug slightly into Susie’s chin.
“Mm, Noelle, can you move your antlers?” Susie grumbled softly.
No reply.
“Noelle..?”
Still nothing. Susie sighed, laughing. She tilted her head to look at Noelle, her blonde hair disheveled and strewn across her face. Susie cupped her face with one clawed hand.
“Hey, Noelle, Elly?”
“Mmh, Susie?” Noelle opened her eyes slowly, before blinking rapidly at Susie’s snout only a couple inches away from her face. “Oh cheese and crackers- did I fall asleep?? I’m sorry!”
Noelle started to sit up, putting distance between them. Susie tightened her grip on Noelle’s jaw slightly, not enough to hurt or control her, just enough to stop Noelle in her attempts to move away.
Noelle stopped, her body softened again, as Susie led Noelle’s face to rest against her chest.
“There, better, right? Your antlers are sharp.” Susie laughed, bringing her hand off Noelle’s face to play with a strand of blonde hair.
Noelle laughed softly, sighing happily.
“What is it? You okay?” Susie asked.
Noelle said nothing for a moment, before mumbling, “your heartbeat…”
“My, my what?-“ Susie asked.
“Your heartbeat.” Noelle said slightly louder, “it’s, beating really fast.”
“Huh well, I can feel yours too.” Susie replied, blush spreading across her face, a smile dancing on both girls lips.
“Hey Susie?”
“Yeah, Noelle?”
“You said you’re queer too, right? Do you…have you ever…had a crush on anyone.”
Susie swallowed, stumbling over her words a little before answering. “Uh…y-yeah. Have, you? Like, on a real person, not a character?”
Noelle laughed. “Yeah, a couple times. But, especially at the moment.”
“At the moment…?”
Susie felt Noelle’s body tense up again, and, anticipating Noelle’s likely response of trying to deny or create space between them again, Susie put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing the space in between them gently, until they dropped and Noelle relaxed again.
“I, like someone at the moment too.” Susie admitted.
Noelle’s breath held in anticipation, waiting for Susie to continue.
“She’s…smart, and cool, and kinda a dork.” Susie said, earning a small giggle from Noelle. “But she’s also really pretty, and like, the most…interesting person ever. The only person who I think really, is real with me. Who…makes me wanna better.”
Noelle’s hand found Susie’s, their fingers winding around each other as they held each other close.
“…She sounds…very nice. I’m sure she’s lucky to, have you.” Noelle said. Susie squeezed her hand.
“Nah, I’m lucky to have her.”
After a beat of silence, Susie leaned down, and pressed a small kiss to Noelle’s head, in between her antlers. Both of their heart sped up in unison. In return, Noelle brought Susie’s hand to her lips, kissing her rough, scarred knuckles.
Slowly, the two monsters fell asleep, their breaths settling into a deep, slow rhythm, souls close together, in harmony.