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we start the story with 4 apprentices of hollowclan
marshpaw, a brown tabby with green eyes and flowing fur (dragon)
sixpaw, a blue-gray colour-point with blue eyes and a blue band on his back leg (sixty)
lilypaw, the one with black fur and white spots and purple eyes because she's the main character (purple)
and spadepaw who is an ugly calico (ace)
they are best friends who are all training to become hollowclan warriors!! hooray
also the rest of the clan really does NOT matter so they are all unnamed because nobody cares and they're just there for the plot
i cant really pick any certain cats to be leader in this au so yeah
recently in a tickle fight with unnamed clan number 1, marshpaw's grandfather and lilypaw's mother were both too ticklish and died of laughing too hard
now lilypaw is fighting depression and hates when people mention tickling
so does marshpaw but he pretends to hide it because he doesn't want to seem sensitive and also his grandpa told him getting tickled was gay and he didn't want to be gay
sixpaw and spadepaw are both doing great, though
a few moons following the death of marshpaw and lilypaw's family members, spadepaw stayed up all night to play fortnite and then went missing in the morning
but they did leave a sticky note on their nest that said, written in crayon and with very bad handwriting
''I'm a girl now btw''
maybe transgenderism makes you go missing? thinks marshpaw. i sure do hope that doesn't happen to me. he thinks again. he is now hiding his identity as a trans male.
rattled by what has been happening in hollowclan, marshpaw decides to go for a nice little walk so he doesn't have to think about it, because who would want to think about their issues?????
some time during his walk his vision goes weird and he swears he can hear the ghost of spadepaw whispering derogatory phrases into his ear but maybe he's crazy. he also heard something about stars? strange
his vision goes back to normal and everything has colour to it again
wonder what that was about
maybe i have a special connection with starclan and this is my calling
marshpaw thinks
he also thinks:
what better way to solve issues than to face them head on?
''im going to find spadepaw'' he declares, going back to hollowclan to make his best friends aware of this because they need to know, really
''hello my fellow Warrior Cats'' he says ''im going to find ace'' he says
'um who'' lilypaw gives him a strange look
''COUGH spadepaw'' says marshpaw knowing too much
''i think he's dead his ghost was talking to me'' he says again
''??'' says lilypaw
''marshpaw have you taken your meds'' asks sixpaw
''i hate you both'' marshpaw runs off because he wants to have his 3rd main character moment because he likes hogging screentime like jax
he actually doesn't go find spadepaw because he just wanted to seem morally superior and he's a bit of a pussy so he just lays down and goes to sleep
in his dream ace calls him a tranny for maybe the fourth time since he went missing
''look at the stars PANSY'' she spits on marshpaw ow why ''yo what'' he asks
''kill yourself'' spadepaw whispers and then leaves
marshpaw wakes up with an ache, walking back to hollowclan camp meekly
''hey its ok'' says sixpaw, padding close to his friend. ''i couldn't find him but he appeared in my dreams again do you guys think i'm a medicine cat'' he asks
''no'' both sixpaw and lilypaw respond in unison ''f*ck you two. you're my f*cking pawns.'' says marshpaw, storming off angrily ''that faggot needs to CHILL!!!!!!!!!!'' says lilypaw and sixpaw starts laughing, not questioning if lilypaw can say that word or not because she's a homestuck fan so of course she can
''fuck those two!! they don't know i'm the savior of this clan and i WILL find spadepaw. they'll REGRET this!!!!!'' he hisses, pacing around the apprentice den and getting dirty looks from those who are just trying to get some rest
when sixpaw goes to check on marshpaw he yells something about nobody understanding him besides himself and that sixpaw must think so lowly of him, which scared sixpaw
'god aren't i just a burden to you' he howled out, fur bristled up angrily
''no you aren't i lov-''
''YOURE LYING' marshpaw accuses
sixpaw walks away worried for his friend but not wanting to deal with him
one BPD splitting episode later it is night time again and marshpaw decides to sleep outside again because he loves making problems for himself
''look at the stars''
he repeats in his mind
what could this mean
he looks up at the sky, seeing stars spelling out ''FAGGOT'' in a way where you have to squint really hard to see it but he could make it out because a hungry man thinks of bread
''spadepaw is that really you''
''kill yourself kill yourself kill yourself'' the little voice nagging at him that very well could be spadepaw says
marshpaw now considers suicide kind of
he feels a strange presence hovering over him, every colour in his vision turning to grayscale upon blinking a couple times and shaking his head
the blood in his ears produced a low sound, and his heart beat fast
certainly someone would believe him and not think he's crazy
this must be a sign from god he's the seventh seeker type shit
he goes back to his clan again, telling his leader that spadepaw came to him and is dead
''i think she's in starclan she keeps telling me to kill myself'' he admits sounding insane
''thats not my department go talk to the medicine cat about that'' the leader suggests
''ok fuck all of you die die die kill yourself now DIE''
he trots off to the medicine den, brown tail lashing
'what is GOOD my fellow hollowclanners'
''what do you need''
''spadepaw is dead her ghost tells me to kill myself''
''are you sure''
''yes and whenever i leave camp i see everything in black and i can hear her voice in the back of my mind''
''maybe don't leave camp then''
''did you take in ANYTHING i just said''
''that whenever you leave camp you see everything in black and you can hear his voice in the back of your mind''
''HER. is this he/him going to turn you into a was/were or will you correct yourself'' marshpaw aura farms
''tell me more about what you see when you leave camp''
''well it's usually when i sleep but it's usually just spadepaw saying stuff about the stars or something and then all my vision is black and gray but i still appear to be in the forest''
''and also i just feel this weird presence near me which i think could be spadepaw but nobody FUCKING believes me i swear to GOD I'll KILL MYSELF DO YOU WANT THAT HUH???? DO YOU??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?????????????????????''
'no'
'ok i'm gonna go talk to both of my situationships that are flawed due to my self sabotaging nature which only gets worse and worse with time and is eating away at myself''
marshpaw leaves and goes to sit with his two friends who are cleaning each other up and sharing a mouse
''where were you we were worried sick'' sixpaw gives marshpaw a long wet kiss on the cheek and lilypaw gives them both a homophobic look because she knows what they are
''trying to find spadepaw again''
''dude i think she's dead' says sixpaw
''That's literally what I said yesterday.'' marshpaw digs his claws into the ground with irritation
''sorry''
''anyways i think i might be on some prophet type shit cuz i keep seeing her in my dreams and she calls me slurs but it's ok''
''are you sure you aren't just grieving?'' lilypaw says, suddenly sounding smart which made marshpaw angry
''GOSH.. i know what i saw, okay???!!''
''it would be very uncharacteristic of spadepaw to just run away like that, just doesn't seem like something she'd do. maybe something compelled her to?'' lilypaw theorized
''or she got killed.'' argued marshpaw, stamping his paw against the ground like a rabbit
''but there would have been more evidence to prove that''
''kill yourself'' marshpaw knows she might be right but doesn't want to admit it because he'd rather die than be wrong
''you're driving yourself crazy with grief you need to let her go and stop sleeping your days away in attempt to find her''
''fiineeee i'll stop trying to find her'' marshpaw says, rolling his eyes
''good now i'm gonna go hunt'' lilypaw gets up
''count me out'' marshpaw lays down, yawning
''i'll come'' sixpaw smiles
''FINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i'll come too I GUESS...'' marshpaw got up acting like he got told to come
a few moons later and marshpaw LIED about not trying to visit spadepaw again
he would sleep out in the forest over and over to try to get spadepaw to come to him in his dreams but it wouldn't work often
instead he found a strange spirit thing wandering his dream realm, who he tried to go to for guidance ''spadepaw is that you''
''no'' it responds
''then who the fuck are you lil faggot fuck out my fucking face bro'' marshpaw tries to act tough ''wait sorry I mean'' he coughs ''who are you???'
the spirit's body appears dappled by starlight and consumed by darkness, so marshpaw assumes it comes from starclan, which is mainly why he corrected himself for being rude
''my name is l'ankou''
''fuck type name is that 😭✌''
''well-''
''anyways,'' marshpaw interrupts ''do you know anything about my friend spadepaw, she went missing after starting estrogen so is starclan transphobic????'' he asks dead serious ''she comes to me in my dreams, in this same exact area, same colour and everything''
''i offer some knowledge on what has happened to her, if you take it well and use it to help yourself''
marshpaw gulped
help himself??? that was the ONE thing he was bad at!!
''give it to me straight, la uncle''
''not my name''
''i don't care''
''basically, dark forest cats learned how to smoke moonstone shards to become more powerful, so now they have infiltrated cat's minds, driving them to do reckless things, before completely succumbing to the darkness, and joining the ranks.''
''and how do i know you aren't one of them''
''by trusting me, marshpaw''
''whatever'' he scoffs
''will starclan punish me for having a crush on my best friend and being trans because spadepaw died after becoming trans'' marshpaw asks, referring to sixpaw as the one who he is crushing on
''no?''
''Wow l'ankou, I know what I need to do now!! I'm going to Recall my Hollow Heart!'' marshpaw says, before getting startled by a yell in the distance
''MARSHPAW'' he yelped, swivelling around to see if anything was there
''MARSHPAWWWWWW!!!!' again
and again
and again
until he woke up, eyes glassy and blinking open
his gaze was on the forest floor, and the two blue-gray paws infront of him.
''were you trying to contact spadepaw again?'' sixpaw asked
marshpaw gulped. he decided to tell the truth. ''well, yes, but I found out way more--''
''i'm gonna tell lilypaw you lied to her''
''you're my homeboy can't you just keep a secret for me''
''withholding truth from others is bad, marshpaw'' sixpaw said and marshpaw could admit he was kind of right. whatever
''i'm doing this for a cause, sixpaw! do you not miss spadepaw too??''
''well, she never really clicked with me, but.. yes, i do, there's better ways to cope than this... pretend game, though''
finally snapping, marshpaw started to ridicule sixpaw for not believing him, and telling him what he saw and heard in his dream. as he listened, sixpaw cuddled marshpaw, still a bit unbelieving of if he was being honest or not
(wip I'm probably never finishing this but if u know the rcahh lore js finish this in ur head)