Chapter Text
Vernon's lip was bleeding again from where he'd chewed it too hard, a childhood bad habit that he had never outgrown and one that always got worse when he was feeling stressed. Right now stressed seemed like an understatement, he wasn't just stressed, he was terrified.
He was pregnant, twelve weeks along. He had known for six. He had known the moment nausea hit during vocal practice and refused to leave, the way even his favourite foods made his stomach turn, the way his scent had started to thicken and sweeten. An omega idol who fell pregnant was a career-ending scandal, a tabloid explosion, a fracture in the carefully built image of his group, his pack. So he hid it.
He hid the morning sickness behind carefully timed bathroom trips and mint chewing gum. He hid the way his scent had shifted from oakmoss to sweet honied caramel by using industrial-strength blockers he had to order online and the long hot showers that left his skin raw. He hid the way his body was already softening, changing, under oversized hoodies and carefully chosen stage outfits. He hid the late-night clinic visit he paid for in cash that confirmed what three pregnancy tests had already told him. Two faint pink lines had changed his entire world.
Vernon sat on the edge of his bed, shirt off, staring at the faint swell under his ribs in the dim light of early dawn that sent soft yellow fingers chasing through the half open blinds. It wasn’t obvious yet to anyone who wasn’t looking for it. Baggy hoodies and careful posture had bought him time. The pack bonding mark on Vernon’s neck itched faintly, a constant reminder of what he was trying to protect. He pulled his t-shirt back on, wincing at the sharp twinge in his lower back. The baby was active lately, pressing against nerves that made his legs feel like static. He lay down carefully, curling around his stomach. Today was going to be another 14-hour day. He could hold it together. He had to, the way he saw it, he didn't have any other choice.
Three weeks later, the cracks started to show. They were in the practice room, relearning and reimagining old dance routines ready for the tour. Vernon hit his mark on the formation, but the spin left him dizzy. The room tilted. He caught himself on Joshua’s shoulder before anyone else noticed. “You good?” Joshua asked quietly, using English so the staff wouldn’t catch it.
“Low blood sugar or whatever,” Vernon muttered. “Skipped breakfast.” Joshua didn’t look convinced, but he let it go.
Seungkwan was across the room with Hoshi arguing with the choreographer about timing on the bridge. Vernon watched him quietly while he drank from his water bottle. Seungkwan wasn't a typical alpha, he wasn't a typical anything. He was way too special for secondary gender stereotypes. He was loud and showy, extroverted in every way Vernon was not. Seungkwan led with his heart, caring and empathetic, sometimes naggy when he loved too much and sulky when he felt misunderstood or underappreciated. Something Vernon with his quiet nonchalant manner had been on the receiving end of more times than he liked to admit. But Seungkwan's alpha side made him a force to be reckoned with when he was riled. When it came to the safety of the pack , when it came to Vernon, he was unshakable, an immovable force. The bond thrummed between them, muted by distance and Vernon’s deliberate suppression. Sensing Vernon's gaze, Seungkwan looked over and caught his eye with a small uncertain smile. Seungkwan knew something was off, he felt the gap that was widening between them but he didn't know why. Vernon looked away with a curt nod, pretending to retie his shoelaces. He wouldn’t let Seungkwan feel the nausea rolling through him. Not here. Not yet.
By the time practice wrapped, Vernon’s vision was tunneling. He made it to the van, collapsed into the back seat, and pressed his forehead to the cool window. He put in his earphones and let soft beats mute his thoughts. Seungkwan slid in beside him, thigh against thigh, he reached over and gently tugged one earphone free. “You’re pale,” Seungkwan said under his breath. His hand found Vernon’s and gave it a squeeze. “Hansollie, please talk to me.”
“Not now, okay.” Vernon kept his eyes closed.
"Did I do something wrong?" Seungkwan asked quietly, there was hurt and confusion colouring his tone. He sounded painfully young, it made shutting him out feel so much worse.
The van reeked of different colognes and old takeout. Vernon’s stomach lurched uncomfortably. “Can we talk later, I'm really tired.”
Seungkwan’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t push it. That was the thing about Vernon which Seungkwan had learned the hard way while they were still trainees. Private meant private.
Back at the dorm, Vernon barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up. Dry heaves mostly, there wasn’t much else left. He rinsed his mouth, splashed water on his face, and stared at the face in the mirror. Cheeks hollower than they should be. Eyes tired and shadowed.
The door opened, he'd forgotten to lock it in his rush. Jeonghan.
“I'm in here,” Vernon said loudly, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth and reaching to try and shove the door shut.
Jeonghan's eyes were dark as he sidestepped the door and came inside anyway. He pushed it fully closed behind him, flicking the lock with a click. “You think I don’t know what's going on Hansol?"
Vernon swallowed hard, "Wh..what?"
"I can sense it. Why the fuck are you hiding this?”
Vernon's legs felt like buckling, he gripped the sink with white knuckles and took a deep breath. “Because if I say it, you’ll make it real. And then I have to choose. Group or... this.” His hand hovered over his stomach. “The comeback. Our tour. I'm not going to destroy it all.”
Jeonghan stepped closer, delicate hands gentle on Vernon’s shoulders despite the tension vibrating off him. “You’re pack. This baby will be pack too. You shouldn't be hiding this from us, we're your family. You should tell Seungcheol, I should tell him."
“No. The schedules....”
"Fuck the schedules.” Jeonghan's fingers pinched briefly. “I’m telling him.”
Vernon’s head snapped up. “Don’t. Hyung, please don't. I just need a bit more time.”
Jeonghan sighed deeply, something complicated flickered across his face, worry, protectiveness, a quiet kind of grief. "Hansol, if anything happens..."
"It won't. I'm taking care of it. Just don't. Please, please don't." Vernon's throat worked. His eyes were red-rimmed. “I can’t…if the company finds out or if the fans do, Seungkwan doesn’t even—”
“Seungkwan?" Jeonghan's eyes widened and then softened with understanding, "Seungkwan would lose his mind and then try to fix everything.”
Jeonghan looked down, taking in the way Vernon’s hands were shaking. He lent forward nuzzling his nose against Vernon’s neck, against his scent gland. "You smell like acetone. I swear to god the blockers you are using had better be legit." He pulled back nose scrunching with a frown. "They're going to figure it out, you know. The pack can already tell something is wrong, the bond is off, they think you're overworking yourself and getting sick."
"Just give me a bit more time, please?"
Jeonghan sighed heavily, deflated. "I don't like lying to them. The minute, the goddamn second, anything happens you tell me. Any spotting or stomach pain, I don't care if it's trapped wind, you tell me straight away. No deflections."
"No deflections," Vernon echoed nodding. "Thank you.'
"Don't thank me, this hurts me and I hate this." Jeonghan pulled Vernon closer, the younger omega melting against him.
It had happened 15 weeks ago in Bulacan. Vernon’s heat had crept up on him, quietly at first. A bone deep warmth in the pit of his belly, a restless ache under his skin. He had taken his suppressant pills religiously. He always did. But the last few performances in the intense Philippine heat combined with sleep deprivation had thrown his cycle off, and the suppressants failed in the middle of the night.
He woke burning. The sheets already damp. His body clenched around emptiness, slick gathering between his thighs, the deep, instinctive need for an alpha clawing up his throat. He tried to ride it out alone but the pack bond made private heats complicated, too many alphas nearby meant too many instincts flaring. He locked his hotel room door, pressed his face into a pillow, and tried to breathe through the waves.
Seungkwan, highly attuned as always, smelled him anyway. The bond carried Vernon’s heat distress the way smoke carried through vents. Seungkwan was at his door within minutes, knocking once, voice rough with concern and the early edge of rut answering Vernon’s heat. “Vernon. Can I come in?"
Vernon had meant to say no. He had meant to tell him to go and get Minghao or Jeonghan, another omega who could help him through it without risk. Instead his hand reached out and unlocked the door. Seungkwan stepped inside and the air changed in an instant. The alpha’s scent hit him like a tide. Warm, bright, familiar citrus edged with the sharp spice of answering need. Vernon wanted him.
Seungkwan closed the door behind him and leaned against it for a second, visibly trying to hold onto control. “You should have called someone,” Seungkwan said. His voice was lower than usual. “You’re...God, you smell...”
“I know.” Vernon’s words came out wrecked. He was on his knees on the bed without remembering how he got there, one hand rucking up his t-shirt to reveal a sliver of toned stomach, skin flushed. “Suppressants failed. I didn’t, I didn’t plan this.”
Seungkwan crossed the room in three strides. He cupped Vernon’s face with both hands, thumbs stroking over heated cheeks, the simple contact made Vernon whimper. “Tell me to leave,” Seungkwan whispered. “If you don’t want this, if you don’t want me, tell me now.”
Vernon’s answer was to pull him down, wrapping his legs around his waist. The first kiss was desperate. Seungkwan’s mouth was hot and open, tasting like the iced Americano he always drank. Vernon arched into him, slick already soaking through his sleep pants. Seungkwan groaned into the kiss and pushed him back onto the mattress, covering him with his body, nose dragging along Vernon’s throat to scent-mark him in long, possessive strokes. “Been wanting you,” Seungkwan muttered against his skin. “Wanting to taste you. Every time you walk near me. Every time you smile at something I've said. Hell, even every time you steal food off my plate...you have no idea how crazy you make me.”
Vernon’s surprised laugh fractured into a moan when Seungkwan’s hand slid between his legs. “Then do it, you can have me.”
They stripped in a clumsy rush. Seungkwan mouthing every inch of him. Collarbones, chest, the soft skin of his stomach, nipping along the fleshy inside of his thighs, until Vernon was shaking and dripping and begging in broken English and Korean. When Seungkwan finally pushed inside, the stretch was perfect, overwhelming, exactly what Vernon’s heat-craving body needed. The first thrust punched a cry out of him. Seungkwan froze, forehead pressed to Vernon’s, breathing hard. "Okay?”
“Move. Please move Seungkwan..." Seungkwan moved. It was not gentle. Heat and early rut rarely was. Seungkwan fucked him through the first wave with deep, rolling thrusts that dragged against every sensitive place inside him. Vernon came, clenching hard, vision whiting out. Seungkwan followed him with a low, guttural sound, knot beginning to swell. They stayed locked together through the aftershocks.
Seungkwan’s hands stroked his sides, his hair, the back of his neck. He pressed soft kisses to Vernon’s temple and whispered praise that made Vernon’s chest ache. “So good for me. All mine, you’re all mine tonight.”
The knot lasted a long time. When it finally eased, Seungkwan cleaned them both with careful hands and a warm cloth, then pulled Vernon against his chest. He hand fed him ice chips and held him through the next rising wave. They went slower the second time. Seungkwan took him on his side, one hand splayed over Vernon’s lower belly, the other wrapped around his chest, fingers toying with his nipple, mouth open against the back of his neck. Vernon came with Seungkwan’s name leaving his lips in soft breathy pants and felt the alpha’s knot lock them together again.
Somewhere in the haze of the third round, still knotted and trembling, Seungkwan murmured against his shoulder, “I love you. You know that, right?”
Vernon, floating and full and happier than he had felt in months, answered, “I know. I love you too.”
They fell asleep tangled together. In the morning the heat had broken enough for clarity. Seungkwan kissed him soft and lingering and said they should talk later, when both of them had free time. Vernon nodded. He fully intended to. He fully intended to go back to Seoul and get emergency contraception from the private clinic the company used for discreet matters. He never did. Schedules slammed back into place the next day. A flight home, then last-minute variety filming. A photoshoot. Vocal work. By the time Vernon had an hour to himself, three days had passed. He told himself the timing was probably fine. He told himself he would deal with it if anything came of it. He buried the memory of Seungkwan’s knot and Seungkwan’s “I love you” under the next deadline and the next and the next and the next.
The day after Jeonghan confronted him in the dorm bathroom, Minghao noticed too. It was after another late night practice. The others had already filtered out. Vernon lingered, stretching carefully, one hand pressed low against his abdomen when he thought he was alone. Minghao had been packing his bag near the mirrors. He went completely still. The scent shift was subtle but unmistakable to another omega. He said nothing that night, carrying the secret like a ticking bomb. The next morning, Jeonghan cornered him in the kitchen while the rest of the pack was still half-asleep. "You sense it too,” Jeonghan said quietly, pouring them both a coffee from the pot. Not a question.
Minghao nodded once. Jeonghan’s face was carefully blank the way it got when he was already three steps ahead. “He’s hiding it.”
“Obviously. How far along?”
"Around four months." Jeonghan exhaled through his nose.
“Is it Seungkwan's?”
Jeonghan's silence was answer enough. The pack bond hummed between all of them, a low constant awareness, but pregnancy could muddy the signals if the omega was determined enough to suppress and the alpha wasn’t looking for it. Seungkwan had been stressed about the comeback, about vocal strain, about a hundred other things. He hadn’t been looking, not closely enough. They found Vernon in his room. He was sitting on the bed, drying his shower damp hair with a towel. When the door opened and his hyungs came inside, he didn't even need them to say anything, he knew his hopes about keeping his secret hidden were falling apart. Minghao closed the door and Jeonghan leaned against it, arms folded across this chest.
"Hyung," Vernon's eyes flicked between them before settling on Minghao's torn expression. "No," he pleaded, shifting his eyes to Jeonghan.
“Too late,” Jeonghan said gently. “He already knows.”
Vernon’s hand moved protectively over his middle before he could stop it. The gesture was instinctive and devastating. Minghao felt something twist inside his ribcage. "You can’t tell them,” Vernon said. His voice was low and rough. “Any of them. Especially not...” He cut himself off.
"Seungkwan,” Minghao finished.
Vernon chewed his lip. “It’s complicated.”
“It’s a pup,” Jeonghan said. “Inside you. While we’re preparing for a comeback and world tour buildup. That’s more than complicated.”
Vernon looked down at the floor. “You know what happens if it gets out. The way people talk about omegas who get pregnant while active. The company will make me disappear. And Seungkwan…” He swallowed. “He doesn’t know. I haven't told him. I was going to wait until after the comeback promotions. Or until I couldn’t hide it anymore.”
Minghao sat on the bed beside him, close but not touching. His soft scent, earthy and faintly floral, green tea and peony, wrapped around Vernon. “How are you feeling?” His eyes were soft, heartbreak simmering underneath. He always tried so hard to take care of Vernon in the same way Vernon had taken care of him when he'd first joined the company. Back when everything felt alien, back when he was almost constantly homesick and could barely speak one sentence of Korean. Now he repaid those early years by checking if Vernon had slept well and by cooking extra portions to make sure he'd eaten enough. Everyone in the pack cared but Minghao took it on his shoulders just that little bit more.
"Tired. Hungry all the time. The kicks started last week.” A small, private smile flickered and vanished. “He’s strong. Or she is, I don’t know yet.”
Minghao’s expression faltered. “And you’re asking us to lie to the pack.”
Vernon met his eyes. “I’m asking you to protect me. And the pup. And Seungkwan from having to choose us over his career right now.”
The pack bond pulsed faintly. Somewhere down the hall Seungkwan laughed at something Woozi said. The sound carried. Vernon flinched like it hurt. Minghao and Jeonghan looked at each other. The decision passed between them without words. They had both spent years learning how to protect the people they loved. It was just that this was a heavier burden than most.
They became co-conspirators. Minghao started bringing Vernon protein-heavy snacks between schedules and claiming they were for himself. Jeonghan timed playful distractions whenever group photos or fitting sessions threatened to get too close. They covered for Vernon’s increasing need to sit down, to rest, to disappear into bathrooms when the nausea still hit in waves. They layered their own scents carefully around him in public so the change in his was harder to isolate.
Vernon didn't tell Jeonghan or Minghao everything. He didn't tell them about the small suitcase he had started to pack. Clothes, documents, a spare set of keys to a short-term rental he had found on the internet under another name. He cried for the first time in years while hiding the case deep in the back of his closet where nobody would look. He didn't want to go anywhere he would be without his pack but this, this was insurance. An escape plan if the walls caved in.
Seungkwan remained oblivious in the way only someone deeply stressed and deeply trusting could be. He still sought out a place next to Vernon on the couch during movie nights, still shared bites of his food, still pressed his nose into Vernon’s neck sometimes and murmured that he smelled good. Vernon would go very still and Minghao would change the subject or Jeonghan would start a play fight about something stupid with Dino to pull attention away.
The pregnancy progressed in secret. The swell becoming harder to hide. Vernon switched to even looser clothes. The stylists complained lightly about how his outfits would never hang right. He smiled and said he was experimenting with baggy American old-school streetwear. One night Vernon woke gasping from a sharp kick that stole his breath. He found Minghao already in the hallway, drawn by the spike of distress through the bond. “I felt that,” Minghao whispered.
Vernon’s hand was splayed over his stomach. "Moving a lot tonight.”
Minghao hesitated, then placed his own hand carefully over Vernon’s. The solid shift of a small body under the skin made his eyes sting. “You’re still hiding it. That’s…impressive and terrifying.”
Vernon’s voice cracked. “I’m scared all the time.”
“I know.”
Jeonghan appeared a moment later in an old t-shirt and sweats, hair a mess, eyes sharp even half-asleep. He took one look at them and sighed. “Kitchen. Warm milk. Both of you.”
They sat at the table in the dark while the rest of the pack slept. Vernon drank the milk slowly. Jeonghan watched him with the soft, ruthless affection he reserved for the people he loved. “Really soon now Hansollie,” Jeonghan began sternly, “you’re going to have to tell the pack everything. Including that we helped you lie. Seungkwan will be angry. He has a right to be."
"Soon," Vernon agreed staring into his cup as though it could solve all his problems. “What if he doesn’t want me or the pup?”
Minghao’s scoffed quietly. “You really believe that? We're pack but you and Seungkwan are meant for each other. Seungkwan is fierce, he's fiercest when it comes to you."
They didn’t talk about the other possibility. That the secret would break them before the pregnancy did.
The days blurred. Comeback preparations intensified. Vernon danced with more careful precision, conserving energy, never quite extending the way he used to. The members noticed he seemed quieter, more tired. Seungcheol asked more than once if he was doing okay. Wonwoo offered protein bars and left them on his desk without comment. The pack came together to help in the ways they knew how but none of them looked closely enough at the shape under Vernon's clothes or the way his scent had gone rich. They didn't see how Minghao and Jeonghan's backs bowed under the dreadful weight of knowing. Sometimes late at night Jeonghan would find Minghao staring at the ceiling and say, “We're doing the right thing.” Minghao would answer, “We're doing the only thing he asked us to do. Whether it’s right is a different question.”
When the pregnancy hit five months the pup’s movements became visible if you knew where to look. Vernon started having Braxton Hicks that left him pale and sweaty. Minghao kept a private stash of hard ginger candy and omega Pregnacare vitamins that he'd slip inside Vernon's coat pockets. Jeonghan learned the difference between normal discomfort and the kind that meant Vernon was worried something was wrong. Nothing was wrong, not yet.
Seungcheol called a meeting in the living room on a rare free evening. Everyone piled onto couches and the floor. Vernon took the armchair farthest from the center and kept the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up shadowing his face.
“We’re off,” Seungcheol said, his commanding voice low. “Not the music. Us. The pack. Someone talk.”
Silence stretched. Jeonghan’s eyes were on Vernon, alert under his soft hair. Minghao was sat on the sofa next to Dino taking deep shaky breaths through his nose.
Vernon felt Jeonghan’s attention like a heat lamp. Jeonghan wanted him to talk, to confess, right now, in front of everyone but Vernon had buried the truth so far down vocalising it felt impossible. The words pressed against the backs of his teeth, his mouth tasted of ash.
“I’m fine,” he said when the quiet got too heavy. He felt the sudden shift of twelve bonded pack mates zeroing in on him. Seungkwan’s anxiety spiked, thrumming through the bond. “Just working hard. That’s all.”
Seungcheol stood up and moved to stand in front of him. He crouched so they were eye level and rested a large strong hand on Vernon’s knee. The bond between them was one of the most intense. Leader to member, alpha to omega, forged in the pre-debut years when Vernon was shy enough to try and shrink into the background away from the spotlight and Seungcheol refused to let him disappear. It pulled now, insistent.
“You’re lying,” Seungcheol said.
"It's just been a bad day."
"You've been having a lot of those lately."
"Fine, a bad week!" Vernon snapped, his eyes prickled and he bit down on his lip.
"Try again."
"That’s all I have..."
"You're hiding something. I can feel it. We all can. I'm worried about you Vernon, really worried. This isn't like you."
Vernon’s throat closed. He looked at the floor. “I need space. That’s not a crime.”
“It is when your idea of space means isolation,” Joshua said. His voice was soft. His eyes were not. “You’re blocking us out. That’s not workloads or stress, that's deliberate.”
"I'm dealing with some personal stuff, it's not about the group. I just need you to give me space to handle it, okay?"
"Vernonie, why won't you let us help you?" Dokyeom asked from where he was sat cross-legged on the floor. He looked upset, a step away from tears and Vernon felt sick at the thought he had caused it.
He couldn't. He just couldn't.
Vernon stood abruptly. The room tilted for half a second. He locked his knees. “I’m going to take a nap. We have vocal practice at ten.”
No one stopped him. The bond behind him churned with frustration and worry. He shut his bedroom door, locked it, and slid down to the floor with his back pressed against the hard wood. He was running out of time.