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for the last time

Summary:

Melissa clears her throat, loud with the intent to catch his attention. "The package is for you."

"For... me?" Aaron repeats, slow and more confused than before.

"Yeah. It's from one of your..." She frowns, the breath she needs to say it just not quite surfacing. "...friends."

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Melissa," Aaron calls, "is there someone at the door?"

 

The knife in her hands goes completely still, idly pressing against the wood of the cutting board. The slices of tomato soak the surface, evenly cut and distributed into two groups. Melissa can't remember if he liked tomatoes or not, but she feels too embarrassed to ask.

 

"Someone at the door?" She parrots, looking up from the counter. She directly meets the pale gaze of her little brother, his eyes confused, even with their lack of color, brows softly drawn with concern. "I don't think so, why?"

 

He momentarily turns to the general direction of the front door before turning back to her. "I heard something."

 

"...I'll get it, then."

 

Melissa jogs around the corner of the small kitchen and across the side of the staircase, fumbling with the locks for the door. It groans with age as it slowly drags open under the will of the fingers around the knob. There are no sleek cars outside, no suited person expectantly waiting for an answer with their hands behind their back.

 

Instead, there's a box haphazardly bound shut with scotch tape on the welcome mat, a postal stamp in the very corner. It's a lot lighter than she expects it to be when she hoists it off of the porch and shuts the door with her heel.

 

Aaron seems tentative to speak, but he does anyway, his voice less demanding than she's ever heard before. "What was it?"

 

"Just a package," Melissa gives him her best impression of a reassuring smile before remembering that he can't see it. She carries it to the kitchen counter, pushing the cutting board aside and sliding it into its place. She carefully digs the clean edge of the kitchen knife square into the center of the box, and the tape dutifully splits in half.

 

Inside, there's an abundance of lilac tissue paper, a few corners torn or bent with creases made with the effort to fit all of it into the box. Taking enough of it out reveals two voice recorders, an untouched candle container, an envelope, and a ziplock bag, packed with cookies she feels like she's seen before.

 

She reaches for the envelope, carefully peeling back the tape as though it were a fragile artifact. The words are handwritten, each letter thin and messy, all in black ink. Her eyes flicker back to the contents of the box, a resigned sigh drawing from her lips.

 

"All of this is..." Melissa croaks, low and breathless, and she swallows the stone lodged in the back of her throat. She clears it, loud with the intent to catch his attention. "The package is for you."

 

"For... me?" Aaron repeats, slow and more confused than before. 

 

"Yeah. It's from one of your..."

 

She frowns, the breath she needs to say it just not quite surfacing.

 

Aphmau and Aaron, who have known each-other since they were kids, even when they didn't know it. Aphmau and Aaron, happily engaged, who looked into each-other's eyes and saw hope seep from their very souls, even through digital screens and cameras. Aphmau and Aaron, who both have died once and been brought back to life by sheer grit, knowing they still needed one another, and risked it all again and again, solely for the sake of who they cared for.

 

"No. What's affected him isn't something love can heal."

 

"No matter who he smiles with, I just want him to be happy. Please, help him feel that. After everything he's been through, it's all I want for him."

 

"...friends," she finishes. (She knows Aphmau still wears her engagement ring, just on her left index finger, with the band turned towards her palm to conceal the diamond. She's seen her lose focus and look at it with this sad expression on her face that makes her want to cry.)

 

"Oh," he mumbles, "okay."

Notes:

Melissa,

I can't thank you enough for being there for him where I can't be. I know it hurt you just as much as it hurt me to come to terms with his lack of memory, and hurt even more when all he was left with are memories of a life he felt trapped in growing up. All he knows is how much he hated Derek and Rachel and wished for them to treat him as a person, and that you're the only one of them that was there, even vaguely.

I'm so, so grateful that you call me every Monday, regardless of if it's for only 5 minutes or not, and that you care enough to stay, even though it's hard.

I'm telling you this in a letter because I don't think I could get myself to do it personally. The only anxiety medication I had as a kid was talking to him over the phone, and I can't even do that anymore. I think I would break down at your doorstep and cry before I could get a word out.

I don't know if it'll be any help, but I packed two voice recorders. They've already been used, if you were wondering. The purple one with a face drawn on it is the one you brought back to Falcon Claw the year we were apart, the red one is an entirely new one. It's a message to Aaron. I want him to hear it, even if it will never hold any meaning to him.

I don't know if you noticed already, but the candle is scented. Once we started dating, I noticed that he had taken a liking to lavender. I never asked, but I've always thought it was because of my conditioner. I bought a bottle for our bathroom the week before we had fought and couldn't find it after he went back to you guys.

There's also a bag of cookies. They're oatmeal. I don't know if what's happened has changed his taste, but they've apparently been his favorite ever since I first gave them to him as a thank you during my first year of actual Highschool. At the very bottom of the box is a copy of the recipe I use for them. It was my grandmother's. Once she had gotten too sick to make any more of them, she'd passed it to my mother, and she instantly gave it to me knowing she was terrible at baking.

There are also a few other papers under that. He's insisted he's always been awful at saying what he's thinking, but I found a container of handwritten poems in our closet during our year apart, mixed in with letters he never had the courage to send. I put all of them in a small binder. The letters are categorized by recipient. Most of them are old, but he never threw them out, so I didn't either. I want you to read them to him if he allows it.

Please give everything to him if he's willing to take it. It would make me feel a little better about not being there for him. Remember that I will always make time for the both of you guys, no matter what.

With love,
Aphmau