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It feels stupid, to be so close yet feel so defeated. He needs one more letter, just one. Before he has the three needed to get into New Rome. The last quest was over two weeks ago, and he’s waiting for a sign, a signal from anyone, any god that needs a quest completed.
But the longer the last quest grows in the past, the more anxious he becomes. He feels awful for the way he has dragged Annabeth and Grover into it, although Hecate's quest wasn’t too difficult, he’s done worse; trekked through Tartarus with Annabeth and the mere thought of a future for them pushed them on.
The homework sits in front of him, he has it due in two days time and is trying to get it out of the way now considering how historically he’s never been good at getting things in on time. And although he has a desk, he sits on the bed - a textbook in front of him open to where he is supposedly reading. He hates it all and no amount of coloured overlays can minimise how dyslexic and stupid he feels, maybe he’s not cut out for College.
Sally is out, working and Paul is probably finishing up now. Percy had a half day, perks of alternative high school. And he’s so focused on wallowing that he doesn’t hear the front door open, doesn’t hear the way someone pads down the hallway to his room.
“Hey.” she says breathlessly, as she unlaces her docs. The fact she wears them so much when they’re demigods and are constantly running for their lives baffles him, but it’s hot regardless.
“Hey.” and he tries to disguise his voice so she won’t hear it, won’t hear how flat and sad he is. He’d rather keep it to himself, not burden her with his issues. His insecurities.
Her eyebrows scrunch and she pulls the last shoe off, it drops heavily to the floor and she dumps her bag down too. If she heard something in his voice - she doesn’t point it out, instead:
“What ya doing?” she asks, her accent slipping a bit. The southern twang that comes through rarely.
“Just some homework. I’m not being very productive though.” he tells her as she moves to the bed and lays down behind where he sits, her hand reaching out for his back. For his Achilles heel that no longer exists - just holds the weight of it’s meaning between them.
She hums in response and he knows he can’t focus anymore, it’s easy for him to be emotional when she’s around even if he feels bad for it. He’d rather bottle it up and suffer in silence, that’s what he did most of his childhood. But he fiddles with his pen regardless.
“What’s wrong bub?” she asks, she sits up now and moves behind him so his back is to her front and he sits between her thighs. Her chin hooks over his shoulder and her arms wrap around his waist, it probably looks funny - how much smaller she is in comparison to him, wrapped around him like she can protect him.
“Nothing, I’m all good. Just hate this class.” he lies.
He turns his neck slightly so he can look at her now, her cheek moves to rest on his shoulder. Her curly hair is in two braids but they frizz at the front edges, and he wonders if she ran here.
“Hmm well it is a humanities class, I don’t know what to tell you.” she rubs his other shoulder and he has to look away.
“You wanna try again?” She asks gently, giving him a second chance.
“It’s stupid.”
“No it’s not. If it’s upsetting you on a day when you only had four hours of school then it’s gotta be something.” And she says it gently, she never makes him feel stupid, always gives him an opportunity to be honest. He remembers a time when all they did was throw harsh words at each other, when their feelings were confusing and there were other people around and she was under the impression Luke could be saved - that’s a whole other can of worms. He prefers this, the maturity they somehow have at seventeen. Maybe the months apart and Tartarus and a first war and a second war and the Styx and immortality and-
“What if I don’t get this third quest? What if I don’t get in?”
“There’s still plenty of time Percy, the last quest will come up. It’ll be fine.” she tells him like it’s obvious.
“What if it’s not for me? What if I don’t get in anyway, even with the letter?”
“Then we’ll reassess, we’ll figure something out.”
His heart drops, he knows she wants this. Wants the College degree, wants to go to New Rome for it, wants all of it. And maybe he’s not the person who can give her that, maybe she needs someone smarter, someone less dangerous.
“But you want to go there.” he tells her, she’s already gotten in. Perks of being the Architect of Olympus at sixteen.
She pulls her head off his shoulder and shuffles slightly so she’s sitting next to him, her leg still outstretched around his back, as if she doesn’t want to leave too much space between them.
“I do.” she says and he has to close his eyes to avoid showing too much, all he does is hold her back.
But she continues: “I do want to go there, but there are other options for me, for us, Percy. I could go to a college here, I could-”
“I don’t want you to change your plans because of me not getting in.”
She moves closer again, her face close to his own. She’s so pretty, her nose coated in freckles and he is sure she’s the most beautiful girl he has and will ever seen.
“Percy, my plans are… they’re flexible, they’ll be fine. New Rome was our plan, if you don’t want to go, we’ll do something else okay? We can go somewhere else, or not go or-”
“You can’t do that.”
“Do what?” she asks, confused.
“Give up on something you want because of me. You want to go, you deserve to go.” He tells her honestly. She looks at him now, her eyes studying his face and she waits before responding.
“Baby” she says, so so softly “I want to be with you more than I want to be in New Rome. I wouldn’t go without you, you know that.”
“Beth you’ve always wanted to be an architect, to build something permanent-”
“Percy, me wanting to build something permanent through architecture is… yeah of course I want to do that but that was little me wanting something that stuck, whether it was a building or a person.”
“But-”
she cuts him off, hand reaching for his.
“My something permanent is you, what you and I have okay? I don’t care if we don’t go to New Rome, we'll figure it out.”
He leans over now, forehead pressing into her shoulder and her arms come to wrap around his shoulders to hold him. His chest feels funny, warm and fluttery but still sad. And he can’t help the watery sigh that leaves him.
“You’re so silly thinking I’d leave you, I haven’t left you alone since I’ve known you.” she tells him.
He laughs wetly, “Yeah, but I didn’t really leave you alone either.”
She presses a quick kiss to the crown of his head as she chuckles.
“I hope you never do.” she whispers, vulnerable from her now, and he pulls back so he’s face to face with her now. Noses bumping.
“But what… what do you want, your plans for us I mean?” he asks her, and she turns his hands so they’re palm up and she traces them. Every crease, every part.
“Long term? A house, then a dog that you’ll buy me because I’ve always wanted one and you love me enough to get me one.” She grips his wrists now, and he holds hers in turn, their pulses aligning. And she stops to take that in, just as he does - eyes down at their hands.
“Then?...” he asks, because he wants to know. Whatever she wants, he’s just happy to be a part of, whatever she wants - he’ll work towards getting her, getting them there.
Her eyes meet his, and he can spot a little bit of nerves there -
“Then, maybe a ring, a wedding.” she tells him, and he can see it clearly - wonders if there’s a timeline out there where they’re already married, he knows it is insane. They’re seventeen and still have to finish senior year.
His nose bumps against hers, her breath ghosts over his lips
“And then?”
“A baby? Maybe two?” she tells him and he can’t help the grin that he makes, she wants it all too and he feels a little dramatic. How he’s gotten her whole life plan for them out of her at seventeen. But it’s what he wants too, and it seems far away… but is it wrong for them to want? Something to work towards.
They kiss now, and it’s gentle and firm and he loves her so much. He hopes she knows, she has to know.
She pulls back now, moves her hands to his shoulders and then brushes some of his curls away from his face.
“Too much?” she asks, but he shakes his head.
“Never.”
“Of course whatever happens, happens it might not be in that order or at all but as long as it’s us.” and he can’t imagine it never not being her, Aphrodite has made it hard for them. Interesting and confusing but so worth it.
“Yeah, I could still get in… I mean I just need the last quest.”
She hums in agreement before replying.
“You know.. I think it’ll work out. Someone will need you for some weird quest, your grades are good, you’re smarter and better than you give yourself credit for. And if it doesn’t that’s okay too.”
He turns back to his homework, he knows with her here he’ll be too distracted, especially when she’s just poured her heart out to him. And as always she’s able to read his mind, she closes his textbook and shoves it off the bed and lays down in front of him, grinning cheekily.
“Kiss?” she asks innocently.
“Anything for you.” he leans down to kiss her.