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You were uncomfortable at the sight as you watched from the distance, the way that Iida is deep into the conversation he's having with his classmate.
You knew her name, he has told you about her before, Momo Yaoyorozu.
There was no malice about the interaction exactly, just that your thoughts seems to ramble over nothing.
Overthinking, noticing small things that doesn't matter, how you give meanings at the way Iida's eyes seems to linger longer on her and how Momo gave a friendly smile to him.
Your relationship with Iida started long before the two of you passed Yūei, being classmates for two years in a row and with you confessing your feelings to him before your last school year in middle school. With luck, he reciprocated your feelings.
It was a healthy relationship, the two of you went on dates. And yes, there were arguments at times as well, but it would immediately be fixed after talking about it.
"I want the both of us to talk about our problems calmly, instead of yelling. I value our relationship, even if I planned to focus on my education before love," you remembered how he held your cheek.
"But I don't think I could hold myself back from you, for you I would make an exception."
"Geez, you're a sap, Tenya!"
And after middle school, you two were busy preparing yourselves for Yūei. He would train himself for the mock battle, and you, preparing in terms of innovation, engineering, and resourcefulness as a support course student.
Despite that, you were always there to support one another. When he was stressed and exhausted, you were there to comfort him. And when you needed a hug from someone, he was there.
But I guess, things seems to have changed ever since you two entered high school. It's been hard to spend time with him, now that you're no longer in a single classroom. And now that it's also hard to spend time together.
Moreover, it worsened when your mind seems to overanalyze things.
You started to have pointless thoughts, questioning yourself that 'What if he'll realize I'm not good enough for him, and he want someone else, like... Momo?'
These thoughts are useless, you knew that they're just things that are not true and you should tell him about it.
You know that he would fix things and he will give you assuring words that you're all that he has eyes for. That you're not competing against anyone, you're perfect and he's yours.
But instead of doing so, you kept it to yourself. Because maybe they don't really matter, they're just petty thoughts anyway.
All those nights when you let the thoughts build up, nights when you cried into your pillow because of your stupid inferiority against all the other amazing girls he surrounds himself with, those entries you write into your journal.
Nothing seems to ease those self-doubts.
And so, you wrote:
'They seem to get along well together, maybe they're more suited with each other?'
'I just think that Iida deserves the best, and I don't think I'm the best for him.'
'Is this what people meant when they said that you should learn to love yourself first before loving someone else?'
'Should I end it with him? I don't know anymore, but I just can't handle it anymore.'
"Psst, Y/n, your food is gonna get cold"
FInally, you snapped out of it, looking around and finally finding the voice where those words came from.
You see your friend, also from the Support Course. Mei Hatsume.
"Oh... Thanks, I'll start eating now" you just chuckle, but her eyes seems to linger on you.
You hear her hum from beside you "You should just talk to your boyfriend," she suddenly says, his words made you halt the spoon that was half-way to your mouth.
You awkwardly chuckle "What do you mean?"
She lets out a 'tch' "You think I'm stupid? You were just staring at them earlier like some sad puppy,"
"I was not staring like a sad puppy," you denied as a frown places itself on your lips, you shoved the food into your mouth to distract yourself form your friend's accusations.
Mei wasn't stupid though, you never say much about your relationship with the blue haired guy to her, nothing serious anyway.
"Whatever you say,"
And so Mei decided to just let go of the topic, deciding to just distract you by talking about other things. Instead of letting your eyes stray to the other table where most of the hero course students have gathered, where your boyfriend was seated.
You're walking home together after school with Iida, it is truly unexpected for the two of you to finally get to see each other after all this time.
"I really missed you, Y/n" your head turned from the pavement and you started up at him.
Iida is truly expressive, he's not afraid to say what he thinks. It makes you feel even more guilty of the fact that you've kept your thoughts to yourself all this time, you just let it bother you rather than letting yourself be transparent to him.
Zoning out, you were unable to give him a reply. You thought back about what happened earlier today, when Mei had told you to talk to him about whatever's bothering you.
You know, that she has a point. But really you're just concerned, what if these thoughts are just nothing and aren't really big of a deal to open them up to him in the first place?
He'll end up bothered by it and may affect his studies if you'll make things difficult with the relationship, you really did not want to mess things u—
"Y/n?"
Without notice, your thoughts had started to ramble on once again. It took Iida's voice to finally snap you out of it.
"Oh! I miss you too," you let out an awkward chuckle, looking up at him with a forced smile.
But he gives you a concerned look instead. "Is there something wrong?" he suddenly stops walking and turns to fully face you.
With that, you stopped as well.
Your heart felt heavy.
'Should I tell him? But what if he realizes that I'm such a jealous woman? I don't wanna bother him, really' instead of saying anything, you were just left silent once again.
Looking up at Iida and seeing his worried look, you felt bad.
Forcing out a smile "There's nothing wrong," you say.
Expecting Iida to just accept your answer, all he lets out was a sigh. Your heart dropped, assuming he must be getting annoyed.
Instead, he pulls out a notebook from his bag, making you look at him confused. He grabs your hand and puts them in your palm.
"What..?" you mumbled.
"Y/n, it's almost two years since we started dating. You really think I would believe that you're fine?" he says, your one hand holding onto the notebook and the other was being held by his.
With furrowed brows, you continued to stay silent in his presence.
"I know you, and I know it's hard for you to utter what you truly feel." his eyes on your were filled with so much love, you wanted to melt.
"But I do know that you write a lot, it's easier for you to express your feelings through writing. So write what you've been thinking here, okay?" he was referring to the notebook he just gave you.
At that moment, you know that you will marry Iida Tenya. You really love the man. The way he understands you, as if he's reading your mind.
"I'll leave this to you, then tomorrow you can give it to me and I'll read it after school. After that, we can talk about it over the weekend. Okay?" he waits for your answer patiently.
"... Okay. I'll write it down, Tenya" you smiled up at him, before giving him a hug.
He was taken aback at your sudden affection, but he hugged back with relief knowing you're feeling better than before.
Tenya is truly the cure to the unraveling thoughts inside your mind, thoughts of insecurities, thoughts of self-doubt.