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The German Order’s boss is kind of in charge of the Hanseatic League. The way the German Order sees it – he sees it – is that the Baltic Sea is kind of his stomping ground, and he should keep an eye on the Hansa cities. Sweden and Denmark can just fuck right off, okay. Anyway, the Hansa has four main kontors, which the German Order is showing to Germany (his time-traveling little brother!) because it’s good to know about them.
He’s showing off? Okay, so what, also, who fucking cares? You’re just jealous of the German Order’s incredible power and influence.
The German Order asked Germany whether the Hansa are still around in his future, but West wouldn’t tell him. He is honestly such an unbelievable killjoy sometimes, but alright, the German Order gets it. If he was sitting on that mountain of information Germany is he also wouldn’t be sharing.
Killjoy tendencies aside, Germany can keep up with the German Order and isn’t half bad with a sword. Yeah, he’s wildly incompetent with the most random things, but that has to be because of the time travel, right? Not that that explains his awkwardness around horses – no matter what, horses must be around in the future, literally what else could they be using? – but well. No one’s flawless, except for the German Order, of course.
Humility? Yeah, well, but the Lord Almighty simply made the German Order to be a shining sword against all the heathens in the world, so obviously the German Order’s perfect. Anyway:
“We should be arriving in Bergen tomorrow.”
“Finally,” says the German Order to the sailor who came to tell him. “There you won’t be seasick, West!”
“I’m not seasick,” says Germany, teeth visibly clenched, where he’s standing next to the German Order. Their ship’s currently nosing its way through the islands of the Norwegian coast, the sailors all busily tending to the sails and navigation. West, predictably, had no idea how to help with any of that.
There’s a lot the German Order’s got to teach him.
But for now the German Order lets him be, because he’s merciful. Germany stays there leaning on the bow of the ship, eyes stoically fixed on the horizon. It’s honestly unfair how tall he is – but whatever, the German Order isn’t finished growing yet. He’ll definitely catch up.
The German Order takes a lap on the deck. There’s not much for him to do though – and anyway he’s got more important shit to do – so eventually he circles back to Germany.
“West! West, I hope you speak Scandinavian.”
West stiffly turns to him. “I…”
His face is priceless. The German Order laughs. “Damn, don’t look so scared. Obviously they speak German to us.”
Germany drags a hand over his face. “Then what was that for?”
“Just checking if there’s anything you actually know how to do.”
West turns back to watching the waves break in front of the ship. “Go worry about someone else, why don’t you.”
C’mon, don’t be a killjoy, but no, Germany’s face stays cold, like hewn from stone. It really is unfair, how tall and statuesque he can make himself.
The German Order resolves to just watch the view, but with him there it’s just, eugh. So the German Order goes to check on the sailors again, then circles back, but well Germany’s still obsessed with looking at the sea so then it’s back to the sailors again, and that way the day passes until they bunk down for the night.
It’s been a while since the German Order was last traveling with another of his kind, or even seeing much of anyone else aside from on the other end of his sword. He hears the Hospitallers is still at it in the Holy Land but she was always such an irritating perfectionist, and the German Order has his hands full up here, so he hasn’t seen her in ages. 1As for the concept of hanging out with the German principalities, don’t even get him started…
That morning they finally start to sight the town of Bergen, the Hansa headquarters they’re aiming for. It looks a bit different than how the German Order remembers it, though. The castle’s gone, for one.
When they pull up in the port it’s obvious the city’s been burnt. By no means a sight the German Order’s unfamiliar with, but he wasn’t really expecting Bergen to look so beat up.
As they start unloading the ship, their host comes up on the docks. Norway, clad in a nice doublet, frowning down at them until the German Order jumps up on land, staring right back at him.
“What the fuck happened here?”
Norway doesn’t look pleased to see him, sour as always, unless things are going his way, which is not often. Ha!
“What does it look like?” But somehow he always gets off on using this superior tone anyway: oh, is it not obvious? “Those pirates came back.”
“The ones I drove away from Gotland?”
The German Order’s got plenty of cities in the Hansa, obviously he couldn’t let those fucking pirates hired by Mecklenburg of all idiots keep rampaging around in the Baltic Sea. Anyway, after the battle where the German Order totally kicked those pirates’ asses and crushed all their hopes and dreams, the boss made him sell the island to… oh yeah, wasn’t that Norway’s boss too? 2
“Yes.” Norway sours further. “Now they’re raiding in the North Sea.”
Damn that’s crazy, sounds like a you problem, the German Order only just doesn’t blurt out. Though it would be funny.
Yeah, yeah, supposedly Norway was also a big scary viking back in the day, like Sweden and Denmark, but somehow it’s way harder to picture him as a viking than them.
“That doesn’t sound good,” says Germany, commenting on Norway’s woes.
“No.” Norway studies West, which the German Order isn’t sure if he approves of. “Have we met before?”
“I don’t believe so,” says West, evasively. “You are Norway?”
“Yep,” says the German Order. “And this guy’s, well, let’s just call him ‘West’ for now. Great! Now, we were here about the Hansa…”
Norway apathetically turns from Germany back to the German Order, realizing it’s his turn to play host now. “Yes, I’ll take you there. Follow me.”
It’s not that Norway especially likes the German Order. Rather, it is because Denmark dislikes him, and the influence of the Hanseatic League, that Norway tolerates him. Selling fish to the Hansa is good business, so Denmark can take his presuming to tell Norway what to do somewhere else.
Yes, Denmark’s queen may have united him, Sweden, and the others all in the Kalmar Union 3
. Well done, and sure, he can be smug about it. That does not mean Denmark can dictate everything they should do.
So, Norway will be keeping his business relationship with the German Order just like before. As for the unknown man with him…
Norway has likely not met most of the German principalities. Why would he have? Thus, one of those which he has not yet met is obviously ‘West’. From Norway’s point of view he’d obviously be ‘South’, but in lieu of his real name, fine, Norway can play along and call him that.
Norway hasn’t heard of any of the principalities in the west trying to grow closer with the German Order lately. Perhaps they are also only traveling together for business. Or perhaps not. Norway supposes he will find out if it becomes important, and else, he doesn’t really care.
Though West wearing the cloak of the German Order’s men is certainly a curious statement.
Not that it matters. Norway shows them to the door of the kontor, where the German Order starts gloating to West about the building and the Hansa in general or something – Norway quickly tunes him out. West has a serious expression, as if he’s truly focusing on what the German Order is saying.
Then again, Norway considers, that expression may actually be of boredom.
The German Order is notoriously difficult to get along with.
...Fine. Norway supposes he is slightly curious as to who or what West is, and why he’s following after the German Order. He looks far too old to be any sort of newly created territory, but then what could he be?
“Are we going inside?” asks West, eventually.
“Huh?” the German Order stops for only a second, switching track. “Sure! Wait till you get a load of this my Hansa’s crazy efficient, you’ll see!”
The German Order is acting quite uncharacteristically too. Oh, of course he’s always been a loudmouthed, arrogant braggart (much like someone else Norway shan’t mention) but usually he’s not so… he doesn’t care whether anyone’s actually listening to him brag.
But as they walk inside and through the building, and as the German Order keeps blathering on about this and that, he keeps looking up at West. Stopping and sneaking glances up at his face, transparently begging for a reaction, as if…
As if West is someone the German Order wants to impress.
But again: what German principality could that be? Why in the Lord’s name would the German Order care about him?
Not that Norway cares, but it is curious.
Perhaps West has suddenly expanded his power quite a bit. Wasn’t there an electorate in the Holy Roman Empire recently who did? Is that what the German Order is angling for?
“I see, I see,” says West, to something the German Order said. Then he turns to Norway, “And you mostly sell fish, is that so?”
“Indeed. And what’s your main export?”
“Ah… well… um…”
“Horses,” says the German Order. “And still, he’s terrible in the saddle, can you believe it?” the German Order laughs while West squirms.
Mm, well, Norway quite prefers boats.
West does not really seem all that shrewd, nor like a state that has recently gained a lot of power. Well, there are plenty of German principalities that aren’t shrewd, so the only incongruity is, again, the German Order’s interest in him.
Well, Norway thinks to himself. Does West seem like a good ally or a threat? Hard to say without knowing where exactly he is on a map, but… no, not really.
Maybe the German Order has finally found a playmate who tolerates him.
Either way: Norway doesn’t care.
He sees both of the Germans to the nearest intact inn after their visit to the kontor, and then takes his leave. Norway was actually in the middle of something when they arrived, after all.
Walking out, he catches a last look of the German Order gushing to West about something, waving his mug of ale around as he gestures, while West watches on in faint alarm.