Chapter Text
Kaoru is positively glued to this new manga he's been reading.
It has all his favourite things in manga! Fantasy, power, badass character designs, the coolest fights that he cannot wait to see get animated, little to no weird overtly paedophilic moments so he can safely read it in school, and a lot more embarrassingly.. romance.
He.. likes.. romance. Clarification: He likes manga. Romance is just a genre of manga.. which he reads.. but he reads just as much as any other genre! This manga just happens to have two very complex and complimentary characters which he is very devoted to see finally get into a relationship. However, it is still incredibly embarrassing to admit he, as a fifteen year old boy, reads some of the sappy romance mangas his sister recommends to him — and enjoy them. He’s very thankful that the cover of this manga doesn’t include any of the romance and instead is just the main character aura-farming.. but this chapter is really focusing hard on the romance.
And.. he's hooked! Like, really, seriously, devoted to this manga — and this relationship — and Kaoru has read enough romance to know that the ‘first kiss’ trope is inevitably going to happen.. maybe on the next page, or the next, or the next.
He does reach that page before the end of the school day— actually, he reaches it in the club-room. However, it wasn't the soft.. chaste.. delicate little kiss he had anticipated before the chapter abruptly ends and he has to wait until he buys the next release to see them become an official couple. No, what he instead turns the page to see, is a fully detailed make-out session, lasting several pages.
They're wildly grasping for the other, hips, hair, face, anything, and breathing each other’s names because this is a classic childhood-bestfriends-to-lovers so they've been wanting this for years. That must be nice.. to yearn for someone for so long and have finally have this moment.. to be.. wanted.. for so long. Maybe he's a little jealous. Maybe he gets to be.
He's obviously never kissed anyone. He's kind of accepted that on top of never being able to live a normal life, he's probably never going to have any sort of relationship. Would it be nice? Duh. Would he love to have someone to geek out with over silly mangas and anime's and music and stuff? Of course! Would he adore holding hands and softly kissing someone? Always? But he's always going to be left to yearn for it. He can feel his face flushing pink as he watches the pages.
“Hey?”
He claps the book closed and his eyes shoot up.. Shit, he must've been spacing out, for.. God knows how long.. He had just been staring at the two characters locking tongues, he hoped nobody saw that. He looks up to see Tamon’s confused gaze on him.. before Tamon being Tamon averts his eyes and looks down at the manga.
“That's a new one.. or is it? I don't know— I haven't seen you read it before.” He clumsily comments, leaning forward to read the blurb. He's resting his head on his arms, which are crossed over the back of the chair he's sitting backwards on.
“Huh?” Kaoru looks down at the book, as if he wasn’t aware he was holding it.. or had just been reading it. “Hm, Yeah. It's pretty recent.. I think the latest release is the one after this one, so I’ll probably go buy it soon..” Kaoru shrugs. “What did you want?”
“Oh.. Uhh, I didn't want to disturb you, just, uh, I asked about practicing earlier and you said that was fine so I just wanted.. to kinda.. get it out of the way.. I can wait until you’ve finished it though!”
Kaoru ponders the idea of opening back up to the sight of an intense make-out session and trying to read through it while Tamon stares at him, and decides he's better leaving the manga until he's alone in his room. “No, it's fine.”
Tamon breathes out what kind of sounds like a sigh of relief as he holds his phone up. An eight minute timer already loaded up and just waiting to begin counting down. “Does eight seem like too much? I think I can start to move up from five but I’m not really sur—”
“We'll just see how it goes. I think you could go for eight.” He’s been mostly managing five minutes with almost zero throwing up afterwards, and if Tamon thinks he’s ready to up the numbers then he might as well try. Not that he’d ever need to stare into anyone’s eyes for eight minutes straight.. but he’s definitely improving!
“Okay..” He takes a shaky breath. In.. and out, before he nods to himself. Kaoru shifts to be in a more comfortable staring position. Tamon nods to himself, and starts the timer.
Obviously, Tamon is putting a lot of focus on not throwing up — which, obviously, Kaoru does not take personally, as Tamon has stated time and time again that he has very nice eyes, and that he does enjoy looking at them — and in doing so he's typically very quiet. However, he has been attempting to converse while holding eye contact. Kaoru lets him lead the conversations always, and today, Tamon seems to choose the manga as the topic.
“’S it any good?” He gives Kaoru a wobbly grin and swallows.
Kaoru almost lights up, “For sure! The main love interest is actually a DJ.. you might like her, she uses the music, uh, sound waves, and stuff to fight, super badass, but she's also really nervous despite objectively being one of the strongest in the verse.. so.. sort of like you.” He pauses, and a little more sheepishly adds, “Sorry, wanted to talk about it for a while..” Trying to talk about your interests becomes a lot more embarrassing when you aren’t allowed to look away.
Tamon shakes his head, which is a very awkward motion to do when maintaining eye contact, “It's fine! It's easier when you speak, I can't say much without feeling—” He makes a choked sound, “.. Sick.”
“Hmm? Alright then.” Kaoru bites the inside of his cheek, trying to figure out the best way to lead a conversation. Despite initial impressions, he is not the talkative one between him and Tamon, and he is definitely, definitely, not the singer. “I’ll show her to you when this is over, after you're done throwing up.. obviously.”
Tamon makes a noise that vaguely sounded like a “Uh-huh,” but as if Kaoru was threatening his life if he didn't.
“Dude.. take a deep breath.” He all but commands, and Tamon seems to gulp in air like he hadn't been breathing the entire time.
“The— plot. Talk about the plot.” He squeezes out. Kaoru nods.
“’Kay. It's like a corrupt hero society— not the ‘My Hero’ kind, like the top heroes are the main villains— and it's this girl and her best friend— who is the DJ girl— trying to take them down and.. I guess save the world.” He starts to ramble, but he feels like Tamon probably isn't focusing on his words, no matter how much he hums along, so he doesn't really care. “And the main character has this mind reading— not mind reading, but, she can like.. get into their head and thoughts and stuff— I don't know they haven't really explained it, but her Grandfather was this super popular hero but we're still learning about him since they just kind of introduced that.”
He thinks through all the new information they revealed about him in the latest chapter. He was actually the founder of some organisation or something, and a lot of the top heroes hated him for it, it was super cryptic and he read it while in math class and he was trying to pay attention to both things so he didn't really understand it, he'd have to reread the whole thing when he got home. The kissing flashes through his head and he can hear Tamon swallow again — like he knows what he's thinking about .. or was it him swallowing? He can't tell.
Against his better judgment, his eyes start to shift focus from blearily staring back into Tamon’s, to the boys lips. He snaps his eyes back up and blinks a few times to bring him back from spacing out. Tamon probably noticed, but he's preoccupied with keeping his lunch down, so he's not about to start asking questions.
But it's now he realises how hellish not being able to look away is. He was just.. trying to stare at his friend's lips? He's embarrassed, probably bright pink, but it would be fucking bizarre if he was the one that broke eye contact. Did he want to kiss him? Fuck, no, don't think about that now, obviously he doesn't. Does he just want to kiss someone? Maybe.. like.. in general! Maybe if this was Mogari or Koreshiki he would also have just curiously spared a glance, that's all. Objectively, his friends are attractive. Kaoru has eyes, if anything, he has eyes.
. . .
Would Tamon want to kiss him?
. . .
What?
God, Jesus, fuck, whatever deity is cursing him with these thoughts needs to stop, because Kaoru is starting to picture things he really doesn't need to picture while looking into Tamon’s eyes. The answer is ‘No’ right? Like.. Kaoru doesn't even know if he's into guys — with how much he talks about cute girls he’d think not — but even if it wasn't a gender thing, well, he can't even manage eye contact without throwing up, kissing is the equivalent to biking on the side of a mountain.. or an ocean, because that way you end up drenched if you fall in.
Still, he can't help imagine how adorably nervous he’d get over a kiss. Wait. Why would he.. he doesn't think Tamon is adorable. He's.. Shit.. He's gonna have to break eye contact.
“I.. uh..” He doesn't even realise he's speaking.. the mumbles come out light and airy which are totally contrasting his usual voice. “Hey, I think—” Before he can get another word out, Tamon throws his head to the side, throwing out “Shit!” as he starts retching into the bucket Koreshiki had thoughtfully suggested they have nearby when they practice eye contact.
Kaoru, forever thankful that Tamon was the one to break first, reaches over to pause the timer. 7:33. He was really close. Luckily, as Tamon’s body becomes more adjusted to eye contact he doesn't spend as much time throwing up afterwards, so Kaoru gets to show him the timer relatively quickly. He flips the phone screen around with a “You're almost there.”
“Mannn.. if I had just held out for another thirty seconds.. Still a new personal best though!” Mogari’s endless optimism has been rubbing off on him a lot. He takes a swig of water and (presumably) when the taste of sickness has left his mouth he asks, “Can I see the character you were talking about?”
Kaoru fidgets with the cover for a second before he starts to flip through the pages — making sure to steer clear of the final few pages — trying to find a solid panel of her to showcase. He finds a pretty cool one, she's behind her turntables with headphones on. He remembers seeing in some official art that her hair was a bright purple, and her headphones a bright green, kind of like Kaoru and Tamon’s signature colours. That thought threatens to bring a small smile to his face, so he quickly turns the manga around for Tamon to focus on that instead of his face.
Tamon nods as he sees her, “Woah..” He scoops the book out of Kaoru’s hands to get a closer look. “Yeah, she looks sick!” He flicks through a couple other pages, skimming over some of the dialogue to get a general feel for the plot.. mumbling some of the words under his breath.
Until he skims too far.
“O—Oh.”
It’s impossible to pretend like Kaoru doesn’t know what he’s looking at. Obviously, no fucking shit, Tamon is without a doubt faced with a two-page spread of two women kissing.. more than kissing, there’s fucking drool drawn— it’s an uncomfortable sight to be thrown in your face with no prior knowledge of these characters and their story.
“Oh— Uh— That..”
His eyes subtly glance up to Kaoru before quickly back down to the book, then Tamon realises it probably comes across as weird to just stare at the pages and he’s probably getting embarrassed too so he closes the book.
“That..” Kaoru repeats but he has nothing more to say. This is exactly what he didn’t want to happen, but, the best person this could happen with is Tamon because he’s likely 110% more embarrassed than Kaoru feels right now.
“What’s it called?”
Kaoru eyes Tamon suspiciously. Tamon drops the book on the table to raise his hands in defence.
“Not— Not because of.. It seems interesting!”
“Uh. It’s called—”
The next day, he catches Tamon in his homeroom watching fan animations of the manga. Kaoru suspects Tamon started watching the animations at that exact moment in the hopes he’d see him watching them and start up a conversation about it, and if it is, Tamon knows him better than he thought, because he does exactly that.
Tamon tells him that he’d searched it up when he got home and found somewhere online to read — skim — a couple of the chapters and he found it pretty cool. Kaoru gets to happily tell him that when he got home yesterday his sister surprised him by picking up the latest release on her way home from work because she typically stops by this shop on her way home as one of her friends works there and grabs a coffee, and they just so happened to have the newest release for sale. (He was not going to divulge the reason that she bought it for him was because he agreed to be a test dummy for a new hair-care routine.. he was also not going to divulge to his sister that it worked fucking miracles on his fried hair.)
He gets to show him the cover — which features the DJ girl — and they both get to gawk and how cool she's drawn. Tamon goes searching on his phone for more official art of hers, and Kaoru opens up the manga— and holy shit they're making out again.
He slams it shut, thankful the person who sits behind him is currently at a friend’s desk instead of their own. This can't be.. like.. the whole thing.. right? He’d know if it got.. explicit.. right?
Tamon glances at him weirdly but after what he saw yesterday (and clearly hadn't forgotten) he looks back to his phone with a barely concealed look of.. shock? embarrassment?
He cautiously flicks through a couple of pages and realises he's going in to read some of the sappiest romance he ever has considering both of the characters are sobbing. He breathes a small sigh — that he doesn't even notice he's done until Tamon looks at him. He looks from him, down the manga, back to his phone — which he shuts off and puts in his pocket — then back to the manga, finally ending his sight on Kaoru again.
Kaoru makes a motion from him to scoot over and look at it.. if he wants to, since he's pretty sure all the kissing is over now, it's just a bunch of.. emotions, but, Tamon doesn't mind spoilers, and he's already bared witness to them making out so he knows they're gonna end up together anyway.
The silence between them is.. not quite comforting as it usually is when they read manga together before school starts, though, they don't typically read much high emotion content. What really is there to add other than the occasional “That's a reference to chapter six” or “They showed us that in chapter seven” while the two main characters sob in each other's embrace and say “I’ve wanted this.. for so.. so long..”
They spend an uncomfortable amount of time on each page, but, they probably should've stayed on that page forever, as, when Kaoru finally flips to the next one, they’re inexplicably making out again. It continues to the next page.
“Uh..”
And the next one. Tamon lets out an awkward cough.
And the next one.
“Jesus..” Kaoru mutters under his breath. There's literal fireworks going off behind them now, because why wouldn't there be? Kissing really is just that great, huh? God, this is annoying to read.
Well, it turns out the fireworks weren't actually from kissing, because.. obviously, that's just a trope, that's not what it really feels like.. right? Or, maybe it does, but only with the right person? Fuck knows. Whatever, the fireworks are actually from DJ-girls cousin (who is integral to the plot, I guess) congratulating them on finally getting their shit together and kissing, and she's just using her light manipulation power to do so.
That makes more sense. At least they've stopped tonguing each other now, and we’re getting back to the main plot. There's some important guy strolling into town or whatever and he apparently knows stuff so they gotta go meet him. They give each other one small kiss before they leave for their new mission, and this is when their teacher decides to come in and officially start the school day.
Later, they're in the club-room, just the two of them. Mogari and Koreshiki needed to deal with something student council related and since the other two weren't needed they chose to stay back. (Tamon because people and crowds and socialising, Kaoru because he wanted a chance to finish the manga.)
Tamon is sitting at a desk, headphones on, he's idly tapping the tip of this pencil to the beat as he tries and fails to do his homework early. Kaoru is lying on their sofa, nose buried in the book. The guy was actually just some fraud, and now they're having to find out who sent him and follow the trail of crumbs back to the big guy in charge, it's pretty interesting, but very scooby-doo-esque.
The pencil on the table slows, like Tamon has become less focused on his music. It becomes a mindless thump of eraser to table.
“Do you think it’s actually all that?” Tamon mumbles, and when Kaoru lifts his head to peer over the top of the sofa to see him, he still has his headphones on, like he wasn't aware he was talking, but he notices Kaoru looking at him now, and he frees and ear, “Huh?”
“What’d you say?” Kaoru asks, he heard.. something, but, he's pretty sure he misheard, like when you think someone mentions something you've been thinking— or when you're thinking of a song and it just happens to start playing nearby.
Tamon blankly stares at him. “What?”
“You just.. What would be all that?”
His eyes widen and he shakes his head, “Nothing!” He splutters out, “Sorry.. ha.. didn't realise I was saying anything out loud..” He chuckles, then hesitates. “Just..”
Kaoru raises an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Do you really think it is all that? Like, fireworks and stuff..”
Oh. So Tamon is thinking about that too.
“Well, the fireworks were from Lena—”
“Yeah.. I know that, but, it's still a common saying, isn't it?”
Kaoru paused. “..Do you think about it much?”
Tamon takes his headphone off and readjusts his hat. His hands eventually fall to play with some strands of hair resting at his neck, “Well, I guess not much? I could never talk to people, and I can't touch ghosts so I never figured it would be any part of my life. Guess romance-wise I feel like I’m falling behind, and.. I dunno, missing out.”
“If it makes you feel any better I don't think anyone is this club is beating you in the romance department. Maybe Koreshiki, but as far as I’m aware you're the only one of us that's been on a date. Granted, she wanted to kill you.” He shrugs, Tamon sinks into his seat. “Still more than the rest of us.”
Then Kaoru realises it sort of sounds like he's dismissing Tamon, so he adds, a lot more quieter, and half hiding his face in the sofa. “Guess I’ve been thinking about it recently too.. I read too much manga not to think about it. Is it something you want? Ignoring societal pressure and teenage first-love tropes..”
Tamon doesn't say anything, but timidly nods his head.
“Yeah.. Same. People don't approach me for any good reasons, much less—” It was at this point he realises he never really.. came out.. to the Phantom Busters. Not that he thought they wouldn't support him, just, he didn't think it would ever matter. He's not going to end up with anyone, whether he wishes he dates a guy or a girl is irrelevant. “Any.. guys..” He stresses the word like it's painful to see, and Tamon has a small moment of shock wash over his face before he nods along, “It always kinda seemed like something out of reach..?”
“I— Uh. Mostly, I think I just want to see if it is really as great as it's made out to be. In theory, I get the appeal. I.. don't really think practical would work for me though.. I mean, I can only really look at you!” And in a mumble under his breath, “Unless..”
His eyes widen as soon as he hears it leave his mouth. The only sound is the soft buzzing of the air conditioning, so Kaoru knows he heard him this time, and he's 98% confident this isn't one of those things he's mistaking being mentioned because he had also been thinking it.
“Unless?” Kaoru echoes, there's an unfamiliar teasing tone to his voice, and an even more unfamiliar dorky grin on his face.
“Nevermind! That was— stupid. No, that's weird, forget I said anything, fuck that was so weird— It was just, we were both, like, relaying the same experience, I just thought— Shit. We can just.. move on—”
“We can try.” Kaoru doesn't think before he speaks. He accompanies it with a shrug but his heart rate seems to pick up, and the room feels a little warmer than it was a second ago. “It's.. just something we want to try. We don't— We don't really get a chance for this to happen naturally. We're just, uh, seeing what the hype is about, right?” He hopes Tamon doesn't hear how his voice falters, and by the way he's staring at him jaw agape he doesn't think he does.
“W— gh— What!?” Tamon makes a hurling motion, but seems go swallow it down.
“We don't have to.. It was just..” Kaoru has to set the manga down to wipe away the sweat that gathering on his palms. “Yeah, nevermi—”
“Wait, no. You're right. This is.. exploration? No, not, wait, like, testing?”
“Testing.” Kaoru nods, he can't seem to catch his breath, leaving the word to come out as a whisper. “You sure it's not weird? I kinda just told you I like—”
Tamon furiously shakes his head, “What!? No, no, not at all, I don't care, man! Well, like, I care, but this isn't.. anything.. like.. that. Testing!” . . . “Uh, thanks for, y’know, telling me.”
“I kinda forgot to.” He cringes, flexing his hands, “Didn't really seem like anything important. I think ‘ghost-eyes’ takes precedence over ‘liking guys’ .. Bars.” Tamon laughs, and it does wonders to lift the mood.
.. Which Kaoru immediately ruins by sitting up and asking, “So.. are we gonna do this.. now?”
Tamon doesn't respond, and some part of that gives Kaoru some confidence because of how nervous he seems over this, so he stands up, grabbing the manga again, and stands in front of the desk Tamon is sitting at. He flicks to one of the early pages that they had awkwardly read together at the start of the day and flips it around for Tamon to look at. “I don't think we should start here.”
Tamon locks eyes with the sloppy make-out session presented before him and immediately spins around in his chair to avoid looking at it, “Yeah— Yup— I agree— Got it.” He stumbles over the words. Kaoru slams the book shut, which makes Tamon jump and instinctively turn back to face him. Kaoru leans over the desk, and now they're just staring at each other, and (for what is probably the first time ever) Tamon doesn't look about five seconds away from spewing everywhere.. he looks more.. shocked? Eyes wide but more like a deer in headlights, mouth slightly agape but he probably doesn't know that.
And that's the moment Kaoru realises he wants this.
Who was he fooling to think that staring at his lips was something he would do with anyone? Mogari? He doesn't want to kiss Mogari. Koreshiki? He doesn't want to kiss Koreshiki — He's pretty sure Koreshiki wants to kiss Mogari though — but Tamon? He wants to kiss Tamon. To feel that wobbly smile pressed against his and hopefully the taste of those mints he always brings with him everywhere in case he throws up.
This is what he wants.
So he shouldn't do this.
It's weird if he does this. Tamon doesn't want this to be anything more than ‘testing’ this is taking advantage of his curiosity and loneliness. Shit. He's still leaning in, is he really in love with Tamon, or is it just the same as what Tamon had said earlier. They're both relating to this feeling of wanting this and that's why he wants to kiss Tamon, and nothing else. Yeah, that has to be it, because he definitely doesn't have any romantic feelings for any of the Phantom Busters.
Is Tamon leaning in too? Kaoru can't tell, his eyesight is going fuzzy, but he can tell they're both close and—
Click
They both jump back.
“Oh? What are you two still doing here? Club activities ended twenty minutes ago.. we just came back to grab Mogari’s bag.”
Tamon taps on his phone and sure enough, they’d lost sight of time. As if this didn't look weird enough that they stayed late, the way Tamon immediately starts fumbling for everything he has, chucking on his bag — almost fully unzipped — and scooping up everything that was on the desk and running out the door with a quick, “Oh right! Bye! See you tomorrow!” definitely made them look suspicious as hell.
All three watch Tamon dash out the door, and once the footsteps had echoed far enough away, Mogari turns to Kaoru, “Huuuh? Where's he rushing too?”
Kaoru comes up with an excuse, “Think his dad wanted to show him something, I dunno. I’m leaving now.” He spits it out way too quickly to be seen as normal.
Kaoru is rereading one of the mangas in his vast collection, because he knows this one has a gay kiss in it. He's trying his best to blame the heat in his face on the spicy noodles he had just made himself (meaning: put in the microwave) for dinner as his brains tries to force to imagine this couple as him and Tamon when his phone pings.
Tamon — 6:45 pm
SORRY FOR RUNNING OUT EARLIER
You — 6:45 pm
its fine lol i honestly kind of ran out too
i didnt realise we were in there for so long
if youre like serious about this maybe we should try and make sure we cant get interrupted by mogari or koreshiki
Tamon — 6:46 pm
YES PLEASE I think I would die if they saw us
You — 6:47 pm
well we’d still be able to see you
Tamon — 6:47 pm
gggggggggggggDont remind me
An image of Tamon blushing and burying his head in his pillow flashes through Kaoru’s mind and he scoffs out a laugh. Cute. No. This is platonic. Fuck, is he really in for it badly if he's already seeing this romantically? Is it gonna get worse when they actually kiss?
Kiss— Holy shit— Kiss. He's been avoiding the word like the plague but his brain seems to have made him remember what they're talking about. Is this going to be a one time thing? What if they really like it? Is this going to turn into a FwB situation? Tamon is straight, though. Shit, what weird level of situationship is this?
For now, they're testing. They have a question (Is kissing really all that media makes it out to be?) and they want an answer, and the only way to get that answer is through testing. Testing kissing. And that's all they're doing. No feelings or anything about it, the choice of pairing with the other to get their answer is purely because of a lack of resources. That's all.
You — 7:01 pm
theres that kids play place we got booked for tomorrow afternoon. i used to go there a lot as a kid to make friends i guess but i always ended up playing with the ghosts. wonder why it took them so long to hire someone about that. but i know it has a lot of secluded areas
Tamon — 7:05 pm
Yyyeahhyeah sounds good!!! thats good sorry im really nervous,,,,.
You — 7:06 pm
thats fine. i dont mind.
His hands hover over his keyboard, he deletes the words he didn't know he had typed, ‘its kinda cute.’
Stop that.
Silly compliments like ‘cute’ or ‘adorable’ definitely start to stray from ‘let’s kiss platonically just to see what it's like’ into flirting territory. He should forget about this for now, put that manga away, stop imagining Tamon’s lips on his, and just go to sleep.
You — 7:10 pm
cya tomorrow
Tamon — 7:11 pm
Yup yup! Yes yup! Tomorrow !!,,,., seeee you then
Thank fuck this kiss is going to happen in one of the most unromantic areas in the world — A children's play place. If it were anywhere even remotely pleasant to be, he might fall in love with Tamon. That's not going to happen, though, because this is platonic. He really hopes this is platonic.