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The lights are low, serene, when Yuri glides to the center of the rink, his mind sifting through memories of just seconds before.
“I said I’d marry you after you win gold, didn’t I? Can I change my mind?” Victor had said just before Yuri had moved to step on the ice.
“Victor!” Yuri had scolded, and Victor had just shrugged, his hair moving like a curtain parting.
Yuri had offered Victor a small smile and then took to the ice, fingers poised, arms ready.
A wave of calm washes over Yuri as he takes his starting stance. He recognizes it as something akin to fulfilment. There’s something emotional about the way the crowd is hushed just for him, how chills roll across him off the ice. There’s also something warm about dancing this program right now, right here.
His river of thoughts starts to run wild, but Victor is the only word that he can make out from the jumble. Victor. Victor, Victor, Victor.
I was feeling so down when I last skated this. Yuri swings his leg back, jumps, tucks his arms in. Somehow you always have made me feel better . He moves out of his jump, arms outstretched.
Ever since I was a kid. Yuri’s heart swells, longing spreading across his chest like a blush, as he goes into his second jump. How many times did I dream about this? Skating with you?
When I lost the Grand Prix final last year, I was… so embarrassed. Yuri goes into his axel, cutting the ice smoothly when he lands. But somehow I wasn’t embarrassed enough to dance your program.
Do you remember?
Victor joins him then, and though they only meet eyes for a fraction of a second, Yuri sees a yes in them. He isn’t afraid when he reaches out to chastely brush Victor’s cheek.
Yuri imagines himself flying when Victor lifts him off the ice, and he’s suddenly caught up in how the world looks from up here, barely realizing how he trusts Victor not to drop him. Somehow, he’s never scared when Victor’s around, Yuri realizes. Huh .
Somewhere between now and when Victor touched his arm for the first time this program, Yuri had stopped putting on a show and started to dance for Victor. Only Victor.
Only you . And, so, when he caresses Victor’s cheek again, a bit longer this time, he’s shameless. So is his smile.
A few moments later, they’re cheek to cheek, moving in perfect tandem. “I-”
Yuri can’t find the courage to spit the words out before the two of them are too far apart, but Yuri feels them. He feels their meaning like a tree creeping its roots into his spine; he feels their weight like a stone in his stomach. Never before has Yuri been so close to Victor, yet too far.
“-love you,” Victor finishes. He lips barely move, slightly enough so only Yuri could make them out.
Yuri flushes. They’re both being terribly amateurish and unprofessional. So he nods, holds Victor’s hand a little more tightly, and dances the rest of the pair skate, wishing each second were an eternity.