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Tony felt strange. There really was no other way to put it. It was a normal lab meet with Peter, and Tony typically loved this time together, and that is how he felt. However, it was not how he acted. Tony wanted to talk to the kid, but he couldn’t force himself to make a sound. He watched, almost helplessly, as Peter quietly worked in the corner sadly waiting for acknowledgment.
Tony could feel as slight suggestions of Peter’s presence were starting to frustrate his body. The sound of the kid writing with a pencil, his footsteps across the floor, or even his little sighs of confusion with a project almost felt like they were being blasted through Tony ear drums. He tended to love those noises simply because they meant that Peter was with him, but in this moment, every noise made Tony feel his body tense with anger and frustration.
Suddenly, without warning, and honestly, without reasoning, Tony stood up and shouted at the innocent teen. “CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS SO I CAN ACTUALLY THINK?!” Tony panicked at his own words, ‘what are you doing you jerk!? Stop yelling at him!’ he thought to himself. Non the less, Tony walked toward the frightened teen. Peter was visibly stunned and confused. He tried to get up and away but slipped out of the chair and fell to the floor.
Tony watched, painfully, as Peter tried to crawl away from him while attempting to regain his footing. Tony tried his best to control his actions, but felt fearful even himself as he noticed he had a belt tightly gripped in his hand. ‘NO! PLEASE DON’T HURT HIM!’ Tony screamed inwardly, but it was no use. He watched as he whipped the object and couldn’t stop the leather from painfully whacking the child’s neck and gliding across his chest. Tony watched in horror as a red mark was already forming where he had made contact. Peter let out a helpless yelp of pain, and it sickeningly made Tony feel as if it should make him joyful.
Peter looked up at him, his adorable puppy eyes now full of tears and terror. As Tony saw himself raising the belt again, with all his might he tightly closed his eyes shut. He opened them with much more ease and found himself alone, shaking in cold sweat in his bed.
Tony quickly got up and stumbled his way to the workshop. He clutched his chest, and he could feel his heart beating at immense speed. He tried to sit on the couch, narrowly missing it, and slid to the floor with his back against the cushions. He tried to breathe normally, but almost couldn’t remember how. Visions of poor, sweet, innocent Peter crying as he was being beaten on the floor flashed through his head. “It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real.” Tony repeated to himself as he clutched his chest.
As he sat there, he suddenly remembered that Peter was actually staying at the compound that night. Tony knew that Peter was, hopefully, sleeping peacefully just a few doors down from where he was. He didn’t truly know how to describe it, but he was then filled with a strong want…for Peter. ‘What are you thinking? You’re a grown adult for crying out loud! You shouldn’t want a 16-year-old kid to help you with your stupid nightmares!’ He thought frustratingly to himself. Tony continued to squeeze his eyes shut and try to remember how to breathe, but it wasn’t helping. His throat felt as if it was being held shut so air wouldn’t get through. His heart was beating so loud and fast it sounded like his anxiety was a person, running across the hard floor to come and kill him.
He felt a sudden warmth and pressure across his chest. Suddenly, he could feel his breathing slow, along with his heart rate. Once he had declined to the point where it didn’t feel like his heart was trying to escape through his throat, he blinked open his eyes to assess his surroundings.
And there Peter was, heaven sent, sitting with Tony on the floor. The kid had nuzzled his way under Tony’s left arm and laid his head on Tony’s shoulder while his arms were placed across Tony’s chest, hugging him firmly. “Breathe in, hold it for a little…then let it out.” Peter quietly instructed as he did the same. Tony let out a sigh of both joy and relief, and continued to follow the kid’s demonstration while he used his left arm to hold Peter closer. This act of affection caused a little smile to dance across Peter’s face.
They sat there for a couple minutes till Tony heard Peter’s sweet voice. “You back Mr. Stark?” Tony looked down at the teen and saw his precious eyes full of hope and joy.
“Yeah, thanks to you.” Tony said with a quiet laugh and soft smile. He and Peter had never really been this physically close before, but Tony really enjoyed it. Without even thinking, he slightly bent down and pressed his lips against Peter’s forehead. Once he made contact, he suddenly worried that he had gone too far, but felt graciously relieved as Peter happily leaned into it. As Tony then rested his head on top of Peter’s, more images of the scared, crawling away Peter flashed across his eyes. To combat this, he tried to hold the teen more tightly. Almost as to show himself that he was able to protect him. Peter noticed this shift in emotions.
“Mr. Stark? Are you okay? Can-can I do anything to help?” he stuttered nervously. Tony hesitated, ‘should I really say what I actually want?’ he wondered to himself. He decided to take his chance.
“Ca-could I…” Tony nervously stumbled. Peter looked up at him with patience, care, and honestly a little worry. The question “Could you be a little closer?” Is what slipped out.
Peter felt Tony squeezing him firmly into his chest. Peter had thought it was only to relieve tension. But…Mr. Stark actually wanted him closer. Tony Stark wanted his contact to feel comfort. Even though Peter was more than willing to comply, he felt as though there wasn’t even a molecule of space remaining between them.
“How?” Peter asked with a light laugh and a kind of confused smile. But he would’ve never been able to guess what Tony said next.
“Can I hold you?” Peter looked up at him with a slight shock of disbelief in his eyes. He couldn’t comprehend how someone like Tony could want him like that.
However, Tony mistook this look as almost a disgusted or scared shock. He instantly regrated saying it. His brain began to spiral on and on about how he couldn’t just be grateful that Peter was even in the room with him. How this moment would become the moment that ruined everything now that Peter had seen how weak he could be.
But to Tony’s surprise, his thoughts were knocked off track when he heard the kid’s voice reply, “Yeah, sure” with an adorable little smile. As Tony tried to fight back the tears pricking in his eyes, he moved over his right arm to scoop up Peter’s legs and he brought the kid to his lap.
Peter pulled his knees up to his chest and leaned his body fully into Tony’s. Tony wrapped his arms around the kid. Even though their height difference wasn’t significant, the child felt so small in his arms. Tony held him as tightly as he could while making sure Peter felt comfortable. And he did. Peter hadn’t felt this kind of love or longing in a long time. May had been so busy with work lately, and even if she wasn’t, Peter never wanted to bother her rest for wants like hugs. Peter could feel himself tearing up at the realization of how much he has wanted something like this without even noticing.
He melted into the warmth of Tony’s chest and was delighted at the sound of his mentor breathing at a normal rate. Tony pressed a kiss against Peter’s soft, loose curls and breathed in the sweet, sweet moment. Tony would’ve stayed in that spot forever, holding his kid and protecting him from all danger.
A little over an hour passed when Peter quietly asked, “Do you want to move to the couch?” Truly, Tony did not want to move. He felt almost childish to admit that didn’t want to let Peter go.
But Tony silently loosened his grip, and the two of them stood. Tony still felt shaky, and honestly, slightly sore from holding the kid so tightly for so long. Peter noticed this and offered a hand to help him sit down.
When Tony did, he was welcomed with the delightful realization that Peter was climbing back into his arms. Tony gratefully held onto him. Peter melted yet again, but this time, he let it fully take over. After a few minutes, Tony looked down at the peaceful teen resting in his arms. He started brushing his cheek back and forth with his thumb. “How did you know I needed you anyway?” Tony asked quietly, not sure if he would receive a response.
Peter sleepily mumbled back, “I felt it.”
“Your Peter-tingle works in mysterious ways kid.” Tony teased. The teen squeaked in slight annoyed protest to the phrase ‘Peter-tingle’ but was too tired to do more than that.
Soon after, Tony felt Peter slip into a deep sleep. He continued caress his cheek, and Tony watched as Peter lay happily with content Tony’s presence. “What did I do to deserve you, Pete?” Tony whispered. He felt a tear or two escape from his eyes. Tony watched as one delicately landed on Peter’s cheek; he brushed it away. He then moved his hand to half cup Peter’s head and held it under his own.
Tony pressed his cheek into Peter’s messy curls, leaned back, and closed his eyes with the intention to join the kid in rest. However, before Tony drifted off, he whispered quietly, “I promise I’ll always love you.”