Archive of Our Own

Las Vegas, One and a half day off. Around 4pm.

The Cens 4Eva

Bood

I feel like we should introduce ground rules

Captain

Yes, I agree

Bergy

im going to cry

Captain

Cry after hearing the rules

Hayz

Can I do the first rule ?

Bood

No.

Captain

You can do the third

Bood

NO

Hayz

Thanks cap!

Chewy

Is it weird that I’m half scared and half horny ?

Boyle

You should be one of those things only

Chewy

I’ll be horny

Dykstra

Can I choose the club ?

LP

PLZ NO

Young

can we go our separate ways if dikstra is choosing the club ?

Captain

Dykstra is not choosing the club

Bergy

thank god

Dykstra

MY NAME IS WITH A Y IDIOT

Captain

My husband sighed very loudly

Captain

I do not like when he sighs, please stop being dumb people

Dykstra

I have a wife and a kid, i’m not dumb

Young

Baffling informations u got there

Bergy

GET HIM BABY

Haasy

Can we say rules now ?

Hollzy

Please.

Captain

Do not beg moya lyubov, only for me

Barrett

I’m feeling very homophobic

Bood

Can we get back to the rules now ?

Captain

You want to retire early little gay boy ?

Barrett

I’m not a little gay boy wtf

Bood

THE RULES ARE

Bood

NO FOLLOWING STRANGERS / MUST BE APPROVED BY SHANE OR ME

Captain

Why not me ? I am captain

Hollzy

I think you know why, Ilya.

Young

anyone else feel kinda hot when hollzy use proper grammar ?

LP

yeah…

Bergy

i thought we weren’t allowed to say that in the gc ?

Captain

Putting shoes on

Captain

See you soon Alexander Young

LP

i think haas just pissed his pants and he wasn’t even the one threatened

Haasy

I did not.

Bood

SHUT YOUR MOUTHS

Bood

ILYA PLEASE CONTAIN YOUR RAGE I HAVE RULES TO SAY

Hollzy

Your captain is contained.

Young

with handcuffs? kinky

Hollzy

I won’t be able to save you forever.

Bergy

no dad please i need young he’s the one with the ps4 password

Bood

RULE NUMBER TWO

Boyle

Finally

Bood

NO DRUGS !! YOU ARE DUMB BUT I HOPE ITS NOT THAT MUCH

LP

i had weed once

Barrett

Don’t tell us the details

LP

well now i think like i should

Dykstra

I’m kind of curious now

Dystrak

I’ve never done weed or any drugs

Chewy

And you shouldn’t with the number of concussions you’ve had

Dykstra

Why ?

Chewy

You stupid as hell

Dykstra

Fuck you

Bood

I will quit hockey

LP

NO WHY

Bergy

YOURE LEAVIG US ???????

Haasy

Wait, that is so sad :(

Bood

…

Bood

Shane, please.

Hollzy

Third rule had to be made by Hayz

Hayz

LETS GOOOOO

Hayz

RULE NUMBER THREE IS THAT THERE ARE NO OTHER RULES

Bergy

i could make love to you hayes

Hayz

Please don’t, i have a very wonderful and sexy wife who already does

Chewy

She made you realize the wonders of your prostate too ?

Hayz

YES, the gays are onto something lets go anal sex

Chewy

We often do with Selena because we don’t want a fourth kid

Boyle

Have you guys tried a condom ?

Chewy

I prefer getting my prostate hit on

LP

i hope i never get traded

Bood

Meet up at 8 in the lobby

Bood

This is so exhausting

Captain

I got phone back

Captain

I have dildo recs for you and hayz, chewy

Chewy

Thx cap, you’re the best

Hayz

Are there batman dildos ?

Young

There are sex shops lets check it out im curious now

Barrett

Spare Harris of damage control, please

10:20 pm.

Bood

[twitter link]

Bood

What the fuck Ilya

Captain

I ‘m russian, is ok

Bergy

Were grindinh

Hollz

You are what ?

LP

GRINDINGNG

LP

AGAIST ECHJ OTHER

Dykstra

Why is no one grinding against me ?

Dykstra

Boyle bring your ass, I want the grind

Boyle

I will not do that but thank you for the offer

Chewy

I’ll come grind dykstra

Dykstra

Thank you !

Captain

I have lost sight of the children and hayz

Bood

Please tell me you’re joking

Hollz

Unfortunately he is not

Hollz

Children and hayz where are you

Hollz

@hayz @bergy @haasy @lp @young

Young

I GETING YM DICK SUCKED

Hollz

WHAT

Bood

Im muting this and going with Boyle I can’t do this anymore

Captain

Are you getting sucked by man or woman ?

Hollz

That is not what you should be asking

Captain

Is an important question

Young

BY LUCZ AND BERGYU WATCHING

Young

LP FIMING

Hollz

Where are you guys ?!! STOP FILMING LAPOINTE

LP

wh cant i hve fun ?

Hollz

Tell me where you are, right now.

Chewy

Horny

Dykstra

The power of my ass

Chewy

No, its the power of hollz’ authority

Bergy

heyyyy we in suite

Haasy

young a une grosse bite

Hollz

Merci, Luca, on n'avait pas besoin de savoir ça. Dit moi dans quel hôtel vous êtes.

Barrett

I go dancing with drag queens for AN HOUR and this is what I come back to ??

Barrett

I think haasy’s talking about young’s dick

Young

WHATY S HE SAYING

Chewy

That you got a big dick

Hollz

What hotel are you guys in for fuck’s sake

Captain

Its so sexy when you swear my husband

LP

je crois c’est sin and consequence ???? jsp

LP

barrett t’as pris des photos avec les drag queens?

Barrett

Idk what you’re saying buddy

Hollz

LP IM ON MY WAY DO NOT MOVE

Captain

No one look at my husband he’s too hot right now

Chewy

Im looking

12:36 pm.

Hollz

[1 photo attached.

The photo shows the entirety of the hotel suite the kids paid for. Haas and LaPointe are on the king sized bed, passed out. Haas doesn’t have a shirt on, neither does LaPointe, they’re tangled together. Bergy has his upper half on the bed, LaPointe’s leg is over his torso, he has boxers on and one sock. Young is laying on a couch, a pillow over his face, he is dressed but his jeans are down his ankles.]

Boyle

That’s kinda cute.

Captain

My children. I have birthed Haas, the rest are Shane’s.

Hollz

We’re staying with them.

Dykstra

I don’t see Hayz

Captain

Because he is not there, we do not know where he is

Boyle

Goddamn

Captain

[3 videos attached.

1st video : It looks like the first husbands of hockey have just arrived in the room. Haas is seen already asleep on the bed in the background, we can hear Shane, Bergy and LaPoite in the background. Ilya is standing in front of Young who is on his knees. “ What do you have to say to defend yourself ? You have deflowered your brother. That is incest !” Young is frowning at the camera, he looks very confused. “ I feel great ? I just came.” Ilya screams at the words, “ bleach ! Bleach for my–” the video cuts here.

2nd video : LaPointe is getting into bed as he’s talking to Shane. "C’était vraiment nice, Hollzy. J’ai tout sur mon phone. Shane sighs heavily before holding his hand out toward him. "Donne ton tel. De suite." LaPointe sighs and struggles for a few long seconds to get it out of his jeans. “ That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.” We can hear Ilya chuckling behind the phone and Bergy laughing.

3rd video : LaPointe is snoring in the background, Young is on the couch, trying to get out of his jeans and Bergy is standing in front of Shane dancing. “This is the choreo of-” he breathes in, clearly exhausted, “Mic Drop by BTS.” He drops to the floor, next to the bed. “You look stupid,” Young says from the couch. “Young, be good boy. You have been very mean to your brother tonight, making him suck your eleventh finger,” Ilya says. “Hey! It’s bigger than a finger, look!” The camera pans to Young and Shane suddenly jumps in grabbing his hands, “stop this.” Ilya let out the loudest laugh known to mankind before the video cuts.]

Boyle

That was one of the funniest thing I’ve seen

Chewy

I’ve never looked at Young’s dick, I’m curious now

Dykstra

I can’t believe the children had so much fun

Bood

What the fuck is this

Bood

And where is hayes

Captain

That is a very good question you are asking there

Captain

@hayz

Dykstra

Maybe he is not lost

Boyle

He might not be but we don’t know where he is

Dykstra

It wasn’t in the rules to know where everyone is

Chewy

That’s a good point he got there

Captain

Can we start amber alert for 24 years old ?

Hollz

Can someone look for him

Hollz

@hayz are you alive ???

Bood

I will go with chouinard

Chewy

Because I speak french, I can find him

Bood

That is not why

Chewy

Why then ?

Bood

Because you’re 2m tall

Chewy

Thank you

Hollz

Please find hayes

Barrett

I found him

Hollz

Thank god

Captain

No thank Barrett

Barrett

[1 photo attached.

The photo has been taken outside, it’s a selfie. Troy is doing a peace sign, in the background, Hayes is asleep on cardboard with neon pink sunglasses, a giant leopard print scarf around his body and a crop top saying ‘sorry for having great tits and correct opinions’.]

Bood

Where are you ?

Barrett

Behind the first club we went to

Boyle

Idk if I should laugh or cry

Captain

Definitely laugh

Captain

I am laughing

Hollz

Are you bringing him to the hotel

Barrett

I woke him up, he doesn’t look that drunk, he was just taking a nap

Barrett

We’re going back to the club

Bood

I don’t think it’s a good idea

Bood

[twitter link]

Dykstra

How do you always find those

Bood

I look for them

Dykstra

You really love us

Bood

More than my risk of cardiac arrest apparently

Captain

Maybe I give you captain title, I do not love you guys that much

Captain

Only Shane and Haas

Chewy

Damn, thanks cap

Hayz

hellooooo famioy

Bood

Hello, Hayz

Hayz

I have only drink littloe

Hayz

but nochidore

Chewy

What

Dykstra

Am I really dumb or does it not mean anything

Barrett

He meant to say but no children

Boyle

Dont worry the children are with roz and dad

Hollz

Please do not call me dad

Hayz

Im so happy youer our dadf

Hollz

I am not your dad

Hayz

aw ok :((

Hayz

I wantr be d and cry

Bood

Barrett please get him to the hotel dont go back to the club

Barrett

I would love to do so but it’s actually been like 15 minutes we’re back in the club, we’re at the bar and hayz is crying because hollz doesnt wanna be his dad

Chewy

I mean

Chewy

That’s valid

Captain

[twitter link]

Captain

I’m very happy that you boys are exploring the joys of anal

Hollz

Oh my god

Chewy

say cap you ever tickle your prostate too ?

Captain

Only for my husband

Bood

I wish sleep came and never left

Boyle

I love this

Haas

Goodnight

Young

GOODNIGT

Hollz

Weren’t you guys asleep ?

Young

Got hoerty

Hollz

What ?

Chewy

I think he means horny

Hollz

Ffs

Young

yes

Captain

My shane left the bed i’m feeling very murderous

Bood

Here we go again