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The moment they got to their hotel room, Kim Soleum peeled himself off of Baek Saheon’s shoulder.
“I’m going to wash up first,” he announced, a statement of intent without any question, “clearly I need it more.”
To Baek Saheon’s vague sense of distress, he did. Kim Soleum smelt like sweat and fear, an unfamiliar scent to the impression of the contradictory man Baek Saheon had never really known. Whether it was Supervisor Roe Deer or the agent in Jisang, Kim Soleum had always been as clean as the image he projected. He bled like a human, but body odour felt like something that was beyond him.
Until now, at least.
What were they going to do now?
So much for a smooth inspection. After three years of radio silence, Kim Soleum had a way of completely jeopardizing all your plans.
As Baek Saheon listened to the sound of the shower, his head swirled with all the conflicting feelings that’d been plaguing him since Kim Soleum decided to show up back in his life. Exhaustion seeped in as adrenaline crashed.
He’d have to talk to the branch director tomorrow, report the containment breach. It’d be easy to record Z999 as missing during the containment breach, but who even knows what Kim Soleum would decide to do. If, god forbid, he wanted to get back in there to continue to investigate whatever it was he was there for, would Baek Saheon have to knock him out?
Surely he wouldn’t. Not after that. The Roe Deer he knew had a good sense for survival, and Kim Soleum had chosen his own survival over those leeches back at the vents.
But it was not like Baek Saheon had ever knew Roe Deer at all. The man had still never told him what he was doing here.
Baek Saheon groaned, stripping off his jacket and vest and tossing them on the back of the couch.
Wasn’t Kim Soleum taking too long?
The sound of water had stopped a while back. Shouldn’t he be out by now?
“Hey, you almost done in there?” Baek Saheon knocked. This was beyond awkward. Back when they shared a dorm, it was equipped with private washrooms, and Baek Saheon had made sure to stagger their time so they rarely ever met in the common area.
No response.
“I need to use the washroom too, you know?” He knocked again, louder.
Still no response.
“Hello?” A sinking feeling settled in Baek Saheon’s stomach.
A year of radio silence, a surprise visit, a revelation before vanishing without a trace. Then, 3 years of nothing. Of nowhere. Left in a world where he no longer existed.
“Hey, answer me if you’re still in there!” Baek Saheon shouted, pounding on the door now.
There was a soft groan.
“I’m coming in.” Fishing out a thin rod from his tool kit, he jammed it into the small safety hole upon the washroom door lock and opened it.
Inside, Kim Soleum sat sprawled in a corner, leaning against the wall and the side of the bath tub, eyes closed, wearing nothing but a towel upon his hip. Various bruises mottled across his skin, obscenely visible. Along his arm, jagged gashes, barely-healed, were exposed from the undone bandage. Instinctively, Baek Saheon stepped back, an innate sense of dread overtaking his senses. This wasn’t a state any man would wish to be found in, it was not something Baek Saheon was ever meant to see.
Against his instinct, Baek Saheon knelt down, and shook Kim Soleum gently by the shoulder.
“Hey.”
Kim Soleum groaned again, shaking his head. He blinked. Instead of the expected glare for intruding on his privacy, his eyes were bleary and unfocused when he looked up at Baek Saheon.
Somehow, that scared him even more.
“Sorry, I must have passed out for a bit.”
“Did you hit your head? How many fingers am I holding up?”
“Three. And I don't think so. I’m not concussed, just tired. Do you mind?”
“You’re burning up.” Instead of backing off, Baek Saheon pressed a hand to Kim Soleum’s forehead. It felt hot under the touch.
Kim Soleum wore a light frown. “No wonder…” He checked his own forehead again and winced. He shifted to get up. Baek Saheon was caught between the urge to take a step back and the urge to reach over. The former won out, but a hand hovered in the air, ready to prevent Kim Soleum from falling as he swayed, unsteady.
Could there have been an actual parasite during the darkness outbreak? No. This didn’t track with what the record had said.
“Do you feel anything odd? Any persistent compulsion?”
Kim Soleum’s frown deepened, after some deliberation, he said, “No, just tired, and a bit of sore throat. I don’t think this is contamination.” Then, sighing as if dealing with the greatest inconvenience, “I’ll just have to grab some cold medicine and sleep it off. Now get out, let me get dressed.”
“You’re going back out like this?” Baek Saheon motioned at his bruised face.
“How else?”
“I’d rather not have anyone call the police on us. Stay right here in this room. I’ll grab cold medicine and more bandage material.”
For a moment, Kim Soleum looked like he wanted to protest, but then he seemed to see sense and shrugged. Then, as casually as if he was the one ordering Baek Saheon around, he said, “Thanks, I’d appreciate that.”
This guy…
“Don’t go anywhere.” Baek Saheon repeated, and didn’t slam the door on his way out.
While Baek Saheon was out, he also grabbed a change of clothes for them both and some electrolyte drink.
It was really fucking weird buying underwear for another guy. But, well, they looked about the same size.
Who does that guy think he is, anyway? A mere day labourer, making him play errand boy.
When he got back to the hotel room, Kim Soleum was fast asleep, bunched tightly in his hotel blanket, the corner of his mouth pulled taught and a faint sheen of sweat over his forehead.
What was that advice about fevers? Sweat it out?
Baek Saheon took his own blanket and draped it over Kim Soleum’s cocooned form.
It was odd to think that despite their former living arrangement, this was the first time he’d ever seen the man asleep. His hand hovered over Kim Soleum's forehead, wanting to check his temperature again, but the act felt illicit somehow. He didn’t know the common etiquette for these kinds of things. They weren’t exactly close.
Kim Soleum opened his eyes.
Baek Saheon could not suppress his flinch as he drew his hand back.
The jerk had the gall to smirk.
“Here’s your cold medicine and electrolyte drink. Oh, and I bought you a change of clothes. I’ll be taking these out from what you owe me,” he said, practically tossing the items at the guy.
“I also grabbed some salve and bandage for your arm, by the way.” He tossed that onto the night stand as well.
Kim Soleum blinked.
“Thank you, you’re very thorough,” he said, with a bit of a rasp.
“Well, of course. What do you take me for?”
He watched as Kim Soleum obediently took the medicine he gave him, not even bothering to check if it has been tempered with. He looked so docile like this.
“Give me your arm,” he said, eyeing the injured one.
“Thanks, but I can handle it myself. You should rest too,” Kim Soleum said. Why does he sound so damn nice now?
“And what? Watch you struggle? Give it here.” With one hand, he grabbed the antibiotic salve, and grabbed Kim Soleum’s injured arm with the other. Kim Soleum just frowned at him. He didn’t even flinch.
The fact Kim Soleum could easily inspire a sense of fear from him but not vice versa pissed Baek Saheon off a bit, so he was a bit rough as he rubbed the salve onto the injury. But Kim Soleum held still without wincing or twitching, simply studying him with that damned poker face of his.
Still, Baek Saheon was careful when he reapplied the bandages, making sure not to wrap it too tight.
“Thank you,” Kim Soleum said again. He’s been saying that a lot. Baek Saheon knew the normal thing to say would be “you’re welcome,” or “no problem,” but he couldn’t quite bring himself to return it.
For just a glimpse, Kim Soleum’s gaze looked impossibly soft.
Maybe it was just the fever talking.
“I’m going to go clean up and get changed now. You should get changed too,” Baek Saheon said, and fled to the washroom.
“Goodnight,” Kim Soleum called out.
When Baek Saheon came out again, Kim Soleum was once again laying down with his eyes closed. He was wearing the clean clothes Baek Saheon had bought him. The sight brought Baek Saheon a sense of satisfaction.
He fell asleep to the sound of Kim Soleum’s breathing.
When Baek Saheon grabbed congee for the two of them, it was really closer to noon. He had to wake up after only a few hours of sleep to give a report to the head office, but kept his voice as low as he reasonably could.
In a way, it was almost nostalgic, keeping quiet to avoid disturbing Kim Soleum.
Truth be told, Baek Saheon didn’t know what you should do to take care of sick people. He vaguely remembered a cool hand on his forehead and the taste of congee from back when Noona was alive, but that was a long time ago. He’d gotten sick a few times after her passing, but by then he’d grown distant with his parents, who seemed to have became ghosts along with his sister. Which was just as well, since he could never quite bring himself to trust them after that.
Kim Soleum also seemed like someone who was used to being alone, by choice rather than by circumstance. That was only sensible. In this world, the only one you could trust is yourself.
And yet…
Every time Kim Soleum thanked him, it was awkward. Common courtesy that fell flat against Baek Saheon's refusal in giving any kind of acknowledgement. Baek Saheon knew words were cheap, yet he was addicted to hearing them, to being depended upon.
For his part, Kim Soleum spent most of the day drifting in and out of consciousness, drinking water and taking his medicine obediently as they were passed to him. He really seemed to be in pretty bad shape.
The image of all the bruises on Kim Soleum’s body still made his guts coil in a tangled knot of frustration. Why was he always so careless about himself? Back during Mermaid’s Grave and Sekwang too. Was it because he wasn’t human? He seemed human enough sweating and half-conscious in a fever. Not so mighty now, are you, Lord Cat?
Whenever he was lucid, however, he kept studying Baek Saheon like he was some sort of Darkness, which was ridiculous, as Baek Saheon was the one who was 100% human between the two of them. Well, 95% if you discount the eye Kim Soleum gave him.
The second morning after, the fever appeared to have subsided temporarily. Kim Soleum was well enough to grab breakfast for them both, saying he needed to stretch his legs a bit. His face also looked less gruesome than it did before. With a mask on, he was just good enough to pass for someone who wasn’t an abuse victim.
“You know, it’s funny to think we use to share a dorm.”
Now that Kim Soleum was fully lucid, he was starting to make small talk. There was a tension as they carefully avoided talking about the current state of the others on Ho’s Project Team. Kim Soleum had always been a pragmatic guy, so he willingly entertained Baek Saheon’s effort to not stress him out any further in his fragile state.
“I don’t think I could have ever imagined you getting sick back then,” Baek Saheon said.
“I guess not. But I did get sick once while I was there, you know?”
Baek Saheon raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
“Remember that time you brainwashed me for a week and I gave you that eye?”
Baek Saheon sputtered.
“That wasn’t— You were—“
The bastard made a little half-chuckle. Baek Saheon hated how nice it was to see him smile.
“Well, it wasn’t a regular cold. It was a curse from a Darkness, but I was actually having a worse fever than I am now and coughing up blood.”
“What? And you still found the energy to threaten me?”
“It was really hard trying to hide it from you. I wanted to pass out. I was lucky I didn’t cough blood in front of you or throw up on your shoes,” he said it as if it was an amusing anecdote and not something that sent Baek Saheon reeling.
What was wrong with this guy?
Baek Saheon still shuddered at the memory of that day. It was easily one of the most terrifying moments of Baek Saheon’s life, and he’s had a pretty stressful life. And now Kim Soleum was saying he was half-dead at the time? Why did he feel the need to—
But there was something else. Even in that state, Kim Soleum was never truly vulnerable. Even with a raging fever, this twisted guy still found the will to mess with Baek Saheon’s head somehow.
Kim Soleum was only ever as vulnerable as he allowed himself to be.
So, the past 24 hours…
“So, what, I’m not a threat to you anymore?”
“Well, I figured if you meant me harm you wouldn’t have put in all this trouble to help me.”
This was correct, but the way Kim Soleum said it still pissed Baek Saheon off.
“But why did you feel the need to mess with me at all? That whole creepy doll thing… You could have just asked for the pen from me! Why did you feel that threatened by me?”
Kim Soleum seemed to consider this carefully before he spoke.
“It wasn’t so much that I felt threatened, it was more like… I had a certain impression of you. I don’t think I was wrong, per se, but it was incomplete.”
Thinking back to their first meeting, this seemed blatantly unfair. Baek Saheon was only trying his best to survive an extreme situation back then, and he didn’t even injure Kim Soleum.
“It made it hard to see you for who you were as a person.”
Well… He supposed he was in no place to fault him for that.
“You could have been nicer,” Baek Saheon grumbled.
“Hmm…” Kim Soleum only made a vague sound of acknowledgement. He stirred his congee in silence, as if deep in thought. Something seemed to wrestle in his mind as he stewed.
“Baek Saheon… you…” Something that looked far too human, far too vulnerable, stirred on Kim Soleum’s bruised face. He frowned, swallowed, and looked away. Finally, he said, “I’m grateful, really. For saving my life, for all the care you’ve given me. I’m gonna hold onto those glasses a bit longer. We don’t know how it’d interact with that eye of yours, anyhow. So it’ll probably be safer if you don’t use it. I’ll try to get you something better later. Alright?”
It was something like a concession.
“You owe me far more than that.” Baek Saheon said. He knew he was pushing it, but negotiation was negotiation. And Baek Saheon wanted— He wanted—
“I know,” Kim Soleum answered.
Baek Saheon breathed in, exhaled, allowed his eyes to meet Kim Soleum’s once again. His agent was a liar and a cheat and a man with countless faces. But in that moment, Baek Saheon couldn’t help but think that there was no craft or pretence in his gaze.
Maybe it was just that beat up face of his.
“Sure,” Baek Saheon conceded, and heard himself laugh.