Chapter Text
Supergirl took a look at her surroundings, sighing contentedly., Metropolis was full of life in the early morning hours, she closed her eyes, paying attention to every sound that reached her ears: there were no cries for help, no dangers lurking, nothing to worry about.
And the lemon tea in front of her was simply spectacular, Lois Lane’s idea to get lunch together had been a rousing success. Kara looked at the other Kryptonian at the table, and Kal-El simply smiled. Knowing him, he was running the exact same analysis of the city she had just performed, and after a few seconds, he gave her a subtle thumbs-up to confirm everything was clear.
But all of a sudden, his eyes drifted to the center of the table, and Kara realized a true challenge lay ahead.
There was only one muffin left, surrounded by the crumbs of its devoured comrades, this wasn't the first time she had tasted those treats, but her stomach rumbled at the chance of getting more. Years ago, her main source of sustenance was what Brainiac described as 'nutrition radiation', something she couldn't even taste, as it was simply a small chamber that sent waves of energy coursing through her body to keep her alive.
She still remembered the ice cream she had shared with Jimmy Flamebird when she stepped onto Earth for the first time, the hot dogs, the pretzels, the popsicles, Earth's culinary culture was definitely one of her absolute favorite aspects of this world!
Which was precisely why she was so invested in claiming that muffin, so, she began to strategize and stared at her competitors: Kal-El’s speed was certainly a match for her own, Lois’s sheer ferocity was definitely a factor to take into account, and Jimmy Flamebird, sitting right at her side, was the other reason she wanted to win this game. She wasn't just fighting for herself, she was fighting for him, too.
“Think fast, Kal-El!” she shouted a moment later, grabbing her tea cup and flicking the few remaining drops straight at her cousin’s face.
The other Kryptonian protested immediately, and Lois barely had time to complain about her shameless tactic before Kara swiped the treat, claiming it for herself with absolute pride.
“Low blow, girl,” Lois said, clapping slowly. “Very nicely done.”
Kara grinned widely, eating half of the muffin before offering the rest to her boyfriend. Jimmy accepted immediately with a soft, “Thanks, Kara,” that made her heart beat considerably faster than usual. His lips briefly brushed against her fingers, and Kara felt a sudden, tiny shock across her skin, a wonderfully sweet sensation that vanished as quickly as it had come, leaving her slightly confused.
“I wish we didn’t have to go…” Jimmy huffed, glancing at Kal-El, who silently nodded in agreement.
Kara hated seeing him look disappointed about their double date coming to an end, luckily, she knew exactly how to fix that, so, quickly grabbing two plastic straws left on the table, she hovered an inch off her seat in front of her mate and declared:
“Jimmy Flamebird, look! I’m one of your Earth’s manatees!”
Her strategy worked, because her human mate couldn’t stop laughing as he watched her make silly faces while swaying left and right with straws sticking out from the sides of her mouth like tusks.
Ever since they had talked about their feelings and started dating less than a week ago, Kara had been making an extra effort to make him happy, the sound of his laughter was a fantastic melody, especially when she was the reason of said laughter, she knew today was going to be a busy day at the Daily Planet, so making jokes was her way of cheering him up before the workday started.
But their boss, (or rather, the humans' and Kal-El’s boss, since Kara didn’t answer to anyone anymore) was calling. Jimmy frowned when Clark elbowed him, reminding him they had fieldwork to wrap up, meanwhile, Lois stood up from her chair and wrapped an arm around the Kryptonian’s shoulders.
“Worry not, Jimmy! I’ll take care of your girlfriend!”
At least Kara wouldn’t be alone today, since an excellent interview with Supergirl had given Lois not only bragging rights, but also a few days of extra rest.
“And I will protect Lois Lane with my life, Kal-El!”
Clark shook his head at that. Even if they were joking, it was obvious he didn’t like those words at all, so he looked at his cousin and said:
“Kara, we talked about this, remember?”
“Yes, Kal-El. My life matters as much as anyone else’s. Self-preservation is important,” she said.
Clark gave her a thumbs-up, then walked up to Lois, promising they would meet again at dinnertime. His eyes sparked when she lowered her voice and promised him a special surprise and he immediately lifted her up, giving her a long, deep kiss on the lips.
Meanwhile, Jimmy said something Kara didn’t quite understand and a second later, she felt his lips on her cheek, then an abrupt wave of heat drowned her, she barely had time to wonder what happened before turning around to face the one responsible for such a sensation.
It wasn’t her intention to glare at him, but obviously she was doing so, because Jimmy Flamebird immediately blushed, rubbing his own arm uncomfortably as he apologized:
“Sorry Kara, I…” Whatever explanation he was going to give turned into a murmur, and Kara reached for him, desperate to comprehend what was going on.
He gently brushed her fingers and once again, a fire started right in the spot he touched. She heard him saying, ‘See ya!’ and stayed there, looking at her own hand like it had a mind of its own, with him gone, she realized the heat on her fingers died little by little and concluded that yes, Jimmy Flamebird was obviously doing something to her.
“You okay?” Lois said suddenly, and Kara blinked, her human friend looked confused, but of course, not as much as she was.
“I think there’s something terribly wrong with me, Lois Lane,” she let out as she moved her hand and fingers; there was no visible damage, and yet she could still feel the echo of the fire there.
“I’m pretty sure there is,” Lois agreed, much to the Kryptonian’s surprise. “You’ve been quiet for the last two minutes.”
“Confusion, temporal anomaly, sudden heat…”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m describing my symptoms!” Kara panicked, “something happened, but I don’t know what it is. I never experienced this!”
Lois pulled her own chair next to hers, and when Kara sat down, she questioned:
“It had something to do with Jimmy’s kiss, right?”
She slowly nodded, then shook her head in denial, then nodded again, oh no, the confusion was spreading!
“Yes, but I cannot accept that! Jimmy Flamebird never caused me any pain!”
Lois didn’t say a word, so Kara kept talking.
“This was not exactly painful, but still, my cheek burns, Lois Lane my left hand feels hotter than the lava erupting from the volcanoes of the Planet Euphorix and I am unable to understand the cause of it all!”
She kept rambling, talking about how it had been merely a few days since Jimmy and her started dating and she didn’t want this! If the human’s contact caused some sort of adverse reaction in her body, then their relationship was doomed from the start!
“Okay, okay, that’s enough, calm down,” Lois said, extending her hand towards her. “Now, take it.”
Kara did so and watched as Lois shook her hand up and down, then danced across her fingers like they were the keys of one of those human pianos, then patted her palm. Finally, she let her go as she asked:
“Did you feel something?”
“It was pleasant, I suppose, your touch felt warm, soft and nice” she muttered, looking at her hand “but it wasn’t the same, Lois, your contact pales in comparison to what Jimmy’s made me feel.”
The reporter sighed, seemingly satisfied and relieved with the response, then she smiled at her and said:
“It’s simple, Kara, you’re touch-starved.”
“That makes no sense, we just shared lunch, Lois Lane.”
The human chuckled at that, then shook her head and explained:
“No, touch-starved means you are longing for someone to treat you like Jimmy just did…”
“But, Jimmy and I have already shared contact before, after we saved this planet, we spent months holding hands and hugging.”
“Sure, but him holding you and kissing you in that way feels better now because you’ve started dating,” Lois said, “it’s more important now, because you’re together.”
“Together…” Kara repeated, looking at her hand again and shivering, then, staring at the person that was currently helping understand this strange sensation, she added “... I feel cold now.”
“How so?”
Kara wasn’t sure why, she lifted her legs, pressing them against her chest and hugging herself as she said:
“It was disconcerting and weird, but I miss the sensation Jimmy’s touch gave me.”
“Yup, that’s starvation 101, you’re missing him.” Lois confirmed, “I know the feeling, trust me.”
“You do?”
“Yup,” she replied, taking a deep breath before confessing, “Look, Clark is not my first boyfriend…”
She stopped, Kara knew too well that it wasn’t normal for Lois Lane to express her feelings for her cousin aloud, wearing her heart on her sleeve, as the humans said, was not something that she did often, so she approached closer to her, showing real interest in whatever thing she had to say about this strange phenomenon.
“But he’s the first one that makes me feel great and I mean, great, every time he hugs me, or kisses me, I can’t help to compare him to the guy that came before him, because he was…”
Once again, the words died in her throat and Kara came to a conclusion when she saw the face she made, visibly angry at that, she declared:
“Another human hurt you, Lois Lane? What is his name? I swear I’ll scorch him and…”
“No!” Lois said, shaking Kara, a bit frantically, in her opinion. “No, no one hurt me…”
She froze in place, and Kara raised an eyebrow, confused by the many doubts she seemed to have. Immediately, her human friend took a deep breath and started talking again: “The thing is, Clark made me feel like no one else ever has, that’s all…”
Kara returned to her original position and thought about what the other woman had said, she knew how much her cousin was appreciated for his kindness and gentleness; she tried to follow in his footsteps as much as she could, she was kind if she had to, but this sort of attitudes were seemingly something natural to Kal-El and she had to admit that sometimes her instincts as a warrior won the internal battle.
There was someone to blame for that, she was sure of it, as much as she tried to remind herself not to think about her past life, she knew her brain couldn’t escape those thoughts.
“I do not have comparison points, Lois Lane,” she said. “For most of my life, my closest relationship, my only companion was…”
She shivered again and looked down at her fingers once more, realizing that whatever little remained of Jimmy’s warmth and softness was gone, now replaced by a cold, distant, and hurtful memory.
She was merely ten years old, and she had no idea why Primus Brainiac would ask something like this of her. Until now, her reconnaissance tasks had been rooted in study and observation: go to different planets, analyze those societies, and report back to him.
But this time, he had asked her to use her powers, which had only just begun to manifest, to decimate a local population of wild, unknown little animals.
“Father, I do not understand this mission,” she had said.
For all response, she felt Brainiac’s cold, steel appendage smash into her cheek with enormous force. The impact made her roll across the floor, and tears prickled in her eyes as she heard his voice.
“Your mission is not to understand. Your sole purpose is to obey, Scion.”
That was the voice Father used when he was angry with her. Kara nodded ever so slightly before feeling another hit. She endured the pain, for she supposed that would make him proud, completely ignoring this was the first of a long line of occasions in which he would pour his rage into her body.
“Kara, you there?” Lois Lane asked her.
She didn’t reply, still far too lost in her past…
“Run! Run away, run away now!” she had pleaded with the terrified citizens in front of her. She was fifteen when Brainiac started training her in the lost arts of decimating worlds, and she was already tired of all of it, she knew Father would get mad at her for this, her whole body was covered in bruises from the relentless attacks he inflicted on her every time she failed a mission, but she had learned to live with that pain, she didn’t know any better, and she was ready to endure it if it meant saving even a single life.
When she returned to Kandor, Brainiac was there, floating above her with cold superiority.
“I will not hurt them, Father,” she spat at him.
“Oh, Kara…” he said, floating down. She could feel his ruthless gaze on her, but she didn’t flinch, she simply braced for the inevitable hit, doing her best not to cry.
But much to her surprise, Brainiac didn’t strike her, instead, he simply placed one of his hands on her cheek, touching it for the briefest of moments. Kara’s whole body trembled, confused by the contact. It felt different, it felt warm and kind, perhaps he had finally come to understand and accept her point of view.
But then, her hopes were crushed when he laughed, his fingers practically slashing her skin as he said:
“You really think you have a choice?”
And she fell to the floor when Brainiac’s hand slammed against her back.
“Kara, what’s wrong?” Lois Lane insisted as she placed a hand on her shoulder.
The Kryptonian panicked, swatting at Lois's arm as if trying to chase away the ghosts of her past, in her frenzy, she knocked into the restaurant’s table, sending all of its contents flying, she watched as Lois’ spilled drink fell to the ground and she shook again as the red liquid morphed into the image of blood.
“Almost two decades under my command…” Brainiac sneered, “and you still can’t be anything else but useless!”
“But Father…!”
“Silence!”
Instead of using his own hands to punish her, Brainiac activated the holographic chambers, giving her a lesson on why it was best to simply give up.
She had ended up on the floor, weak, frail, and bruised, tiny rivers of her own blood surging out of the many wounds Father’s warriors had dealt her, just then, as she felt the life inside her extinguishing, the body of the artificial intelligence she called Primus appeared above her.
Completely numbed by the pain, Kara reached a hand toward him, a pathetic attempt to appeal to his nonexistent emotions, as he would tell her later, she felt his fingers touch hers, right up until he swatted her hand away, grabbed her by the neck, and slammed her body against the wall.
“So… what did you learn today, Scion?”
“I will comply,” she choked out.
“Again,” he said, increasing the pressure.
“I will comply,” she swore, with only a fraction of energy left in her cells.
“Again!” he demanded.
“I WILL COMPLY!”
Only then did he release his hold, and Kara collapsed to the floor, she wasn’t sure how long after that, she managed to get up and tried to drag her feet to her resting chamber, only to be completely paralyzed by the tremendous power of the Eradicator Override Protocol…
She was crying now, she could feel nothing else except her own tears escaping from her eyes, there were voices and loud sounds, people probably arguing, most likely expressing hate for the disaster she made, but she did not care for it.
She could only think about the very last moment she had any sort of physical contact with Brainiac, his arm transformed into a Kryptonite laced lance that bruised her cheek and left her a mark that lasted for weeks.
She was pretty sure that if it hadn't been for the yellow sun rays reaching Earth, that scar would have stayed there forever.
That very same cheek that once burned under the power of the green mineral had minutes ago burned under the soft lips of Jimmy Flamebird. The hurt and pain had been replaced with warmth and comfort and yet, Kara felt the past was inescapable. If the mere contact of her human lover caused her to spiral into her dark memories, then was there even any point in loving someone like him?
What would he say if this kept happening to her? What would Jimmy think of her weakness?
When a sudden jolt coursed through her body, feeling that exact same cheek being touched, Kara's instincts took over, she immediately grabbed her attacker, only to hear a sharp cry for help and she blinked, snapping back to reality.
Lois Lane was sitting on the sidewalk in front of her, an expression of pure pain written across her face, Kara immediately let go, and her human friend closed her eyes, catching her breath.
“Are you okay?” Lois asked, gently rubbing her own bruised wrist.
“I just caused you pain, Lois Lane,” Kara replied, her voice trembling. “And you ask if I am okay?”
“Hey, don’t worry about that, I…” Lois swatted the air dismissively, flinching as she muttered, “...I can deal with it.”
Kara took a long look at her surroundings. She was sitting at the edge of the sidewalk, several of the restaurant's chairs scattered across the street, causing a ruckus among the passing motorists, a few employees were mopping the floor, throwing glances in her direction every few seconds, but her worries paused when Lois moved her hand in front of her face and asked:
“Hey, Kara? Don’t look around, just at me, okay? Focus on me, can you do that?”
Her voice was gentle and reassuring, she didn’t seem mad at her and her concern was genuine, so Kara trusted her, doing exactly what she asked.
“Good… Very good…” Lois praised her, “now, can you tell me what’s wrong?”
“Pain…” was the only thing Kara could reply.
“Can you get up?” Lois questioned.
Kara shook her head several times, trying to tell her she wasn’t able to move.
“Okay, don’t worry, here, take my hand.”
Kara stared at it, no, she couldn’t, physical contact was a danger right now, any touch could set her off again, but Lois stayed there, still offering her hand, it was clear she wouldn’t accept no for an answer.
“Remember what Clark taught you about taking care of yourself?” Lois asked, sensing how unsure she was.
“Self-preservation is important,” Kara whispered as she nodded.
“Yes, and that also means it’s important to let others take care of you, too,” Lois replied.
Kara felt nothing but deep admiration for this brave human. Lois Lane had crossed the stars and subjected herself to the horrors of the Black Mercy, among many other amazing feats, no matter how dangerous the situation became, she was always ready to defend and protect others, despite her lack of powers.
“Lois Lane, I humbly request your assistance,” Kara confessed, reaching out toward her.
“I got you,” was all the reporter said as she held her hand and wrapped an arm around her back, then lifted her slowly off the ground.
Kara had no idea how, but the human managed to get them both back to her apartment. Several minutes later, she was sitting in front of a cup of steaming coffee, the mug brimming with so many marshmallows that it was overflowing, she smiled at the gesture, they had discussed the impracticality of her preference many times; so many of those treats absorbed far too much of the liquid, turning it into a sticky, coffee flavored amalgamation.
“You’re not drinking coffee, Kara! You are practically eating it!” the reporter had complained once and Kara had simply shrugged. Yes, Lois's observation was logical, but still, her predilection triumphed over any argument every time.
“Then I shall eat my coffee with gusto, Lois Lane!” she had declared.
And that was exactly what she was doing now, spooning and chomping through the contents of her cup, completely aware of the strange look Lois was giving her.
“How do you feel now?” she asked softly.
Kara didn’t reply, her eyes were fixed on the ice pack her friend was pressing against the hand she had injured in her haste, always the observant one, Lois added before Kara could speak: “And before you ask, I told you I’m fine, don’t worry.”
Kara could have told her that what she asked was impossible, since Kal-El was the one who had taught her how to worry, how to feel care and concern for people in danger, but she stopped when Lois spoke up again.
“I lied to you, you know?” Lois said, leaning back against her couch, frowning as she continued. “That guy before Clark... he did hurt me.”
‘Oh, whoever he is, I shall unleash the entire fury of Krypton upon his head,’ Kara thought, only to remind herself that this was not the moment for revenge, Lois was still talking, and this was evidently important.
“I never wanted to let it get that far,” the human whispered, “but it went on for longer than I’d like to admit, the occasional bruise, a few cuts here and there that I covered with oversized shirts, some unexpected roughness…”
She stopped, sitting back upright and picking up her mug. Kara understood the tactic: she was looking for warmth and comfort before facing the traumas of her past.
“...Anyway, he’s ancient history now. For a while, I gave up on relationships, decided that focusing on my career was the only thing I needed, and then…”
“And then Kal-El came along?” Kara ventured softly.
The reporter nodded and let out a sigh, and Kara’s ears perked up as she noticed the way her racing heart relaxed at the thought of her partner, to think the mere mention of him could calm her down was remarkable, and Kara made a mental note to congratulate Kal-El for that later.
“...And everything was fine, and then I found out he was Superman! I was in love with the strongest, fiercest guy in the world!”
“Lois Lane…” Kara muttered in a futile attempt to calm her down when she heard the panic in her voice, but the other woman shook her head, desperate to finish, so the warrior remained quiet.
“That man could flick a finger at my forehead and shatter every bone in my body,” Lois stated, “but one of the first things he did after I found out his secret was jump in front of a machine gun to protect me, while he was almost powerless, mind you, can you imagine that?”
She was flailing her arms in the air now, knowing her cousin, Kara could very easily imagine him doing exactly that, Kal-El always did the impossible, especially if it involved the human he was unconditionally in love with.
“Clark could hurt me so easily, and yet I know in my heart he never, ever will…” Lois finished, then, seeing that Kara was staring at her, adding, “Sorry, I was supposed to be making you feel better, and I ended up rambling about myself, I…”
“You have succeeded, Lois Lane. I do feel better,” Kara said quickly. “You trust Kal-El completely, in the very same way I trust Jimmy Flamebird.” She said the last part a bit softer, hoping Lois wouldn’t notice the blush on her face, though judging by the reporter’s smirk, she definitely did. “I just wish I could feel that sensation again, without…”
She didn’t finish the sentence, but Lois understood, she pulled Kara into a hug, and she rested her head against her shoulder, finishing the thought in a whisper:
“...Without having to think about Brainiac, without comparing Jimmy’s kindness to his ruthlessness.”
“Based on my experience, I can tell you that might happen again,” Lois admitted, she felt Kara’s body flinch at that, but immediately patted her leg, adding, “but the more time you spend with Jimmy enjoying that warmth, the less you’ll think about your past.”
Kara understood that logic, but another fear invaded her mind.
“Will I become… dependent on this feeling, Lois Lane?” she questioned, genuinely terrified by the possibility, “I long for Jimmy Flamebird’s touch again now, I am craving his attention, what if I demand too much from him?”
To Kara’s surprise, Lois snorted out loud at that.
“You, demanding too much from Jimmy? Kara, after everything you both have been through, I’m pretty sure that guy would do anything for you, you could ask for the moon, and he’d probably build a shrinking ray and steal a spaceship to get it for you and trust me, girl, I’m an authority on stealing spaceships.” she said smugly, pointing at her own chest.
“I will not ask him for the moon,” Kara replied, before sheepishly adding, “...but more contact from him would be nice.”
“Then you should talk to him about that…”
Kara frowned at that, ever since she became Supergirl, life was filled with unexpected challenges, and having serious conversations was almost at the top of the list.
“... And you don’t have to tell him everything” Lois commented, “especially if those thoughts cause you pain, everyone has the right to keep some secrets of their own, you know?”
“Have you told Kal-El about…”
“Not immediately,” Lois cut her off, knowing exactly what she was going to ask, “but, eventually, I felt safe enough to tell him about my past.”
“And what did he do? Did he promise you a swift, bloody revenge?”
“No!” Lois practically screamed and Kara mused that of course he had not, because Kal-El wouldn’t do that, but then, Lois started to scratch her own cheek and lowered her voice as she said:
“He did spend three and a half hours hugging me against his chest and cuddling me, though, which was very nice.”
Kara didn’t respond, as her mind was currently busy entertaining the thought of Jimmy Flamebird doing exactly that to her and she wondered if there was a possibility that Kryptonian bodies, perfected for battle and to resist any wounds, could crumble under three and a half hours of soft pressure from a human, because hers certainly would.
The rest of the day passed by in a flash, Kara enjoyed playing video games with Lois immensely, even if she lost every single match except one.
Thinking about it, she was pretty sure Lois had let her win on purpose, but she let it slide, there would come a time when she could hone her skills and defeat her properly, but for now, this was fine.
A few hours later, Lois’s Flamebird watch chimed, when she answered the call, both women smiled at the sight of Kal-El’s tiny holographic face.
“Hey there! We’re done here, did you two have a good time?”
“We surely did, Kal-El! Lois Lane’s teachings have been very didactic!”
He questioned what those teachings were, but both women exchanged a knowing look and didn’t say a word., so Clark gave up and focused on his girlfriend, smiling warmly:
“Did you miss me?”
Lois rolled her eyes, letting out a dismissive “Mmmph,” making him laugh out loud.
“Because I missed you, Lois,” he insisted in a sing-song voice.
Again, she remained silent.
“Come on, say it! You missed me!”
Kara was very entertained watching Lois try (and fail miserably) to maintain a stoic facade, she certainly hoped Clark could see the smile on her face, until her phone vibrated in her hand, she checked the screen and immediately beamed upon seeing a message from Jimmy:
“I got some Chinese food, see you at home in 15 minutes?”
After discovering she was touch-starved, she now considered she would have to ask Lois Lane later if she could be word-starved as well, because Jimmy Flamebird describing their meeting spot as ‘home’ sent pleasant shivers down her spine.
That apartment was his space, bought with his own money, and yet Kara practically occupied it ninety percent of the time. She figured she could find a way to thank him for providing her with such a refuge, flushing deeply as she imagined that a good way to do so might be cuddling with him... if he was willing to accept it, of course.
Interrupting the banter between Lois and Kal-El, Kara tapped her friend’s shoulder, held up her phone screen, and pointed to the window as she floated away from the couch.
Lois read the message, gave her a wink and then whispered:
“Go get your cuddles, Supergirl.”
With that, Kara pushed open the window and shot off toward Jimmy’s apartment, completely forgetting everything Kal-El had taught her about social etiquette and closing building windows before leaving.
Social conventions could wait. The only thing occupying her mind right now was satiating her Jimmy Flamebird hunger!