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“omg yo yo yo what up yn” Rita exclaims nonchalantly, running a hand through her hair.
“FAHHHHH! RITA YOURE SO NONCHALANT!” yn screams, cupping their cheeks with their hands.
“Let's er do a college au roleplay!” Rita smiles confidently, suddenly teleporting them both to a library because she's super powerful and stuff, and goes from 0 to 60mph in 2.5 seconds (not sexually intended you freak)
“Woah… We're studying together!” Yn ecstaticly says, playing with the pen in their finger.
“Er, yeah!! Finals are tomorrow you know, and we're coincidentally pulling an all nighter together in the library at the same desk.” Rita turns on the computer In front of her and logs in to it casually, not missing a beat as she types on the clacking keyboard. “Anyway wanna play wordle?”
“B-but finals are tomorrow!” Yn whispers, pausing their fidgeting.
“Studying is a sign of weakness; proof you doubt your own capabilities." Rita searches for wordle and clicks on the website. “I'm so good at wordle, watch this.” She inputs ‘audio’, and all the letters are grey.
“Er…”
“Freak my chud life. Let's play globle instead. I'm really good at it.” Rita closes the tab, just to reopen Google again and type in globle.
“Ok….”
“Alright watch this!!!” Rita boasts, typing in ‘united kingdom’. Its 13,000 kilometers away—blindlingly white, juxtaposing the darkness of the library.
“FFFFFFFFFFF—” Rita chews her lip, “that was a fluke. Gimmie a sec, yn” she types in ‘australia’. It's 4.6e755 kilometres away. You're both blind now, with radiation scorching your eyes.
“What.”
“Uhm…”
“I'm better at coastle.” Rita closes the tab again, cursing as she reopens Google. She types in ‘Rita’. Green track length, inversions and speed, and model.
But not in the UK.
“I'm gonna fucking kill myself.”
“Noo,” yn cries “don't do that, you're too sexy ahaha”
“Ok sweet cheeks,” Rita murmurs, begrudgingly placing her fingers back on the keyboard. She types in ‘desert racer’. All green
“FREAK MY CHUD LIFE!!!!!!” Rita screams.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TRYIN TO SORT THE BOOKS.” a librarian screams back.
“whoops.”
“Should we study now..?”
“Nah let's go be in a popstar au next”
They teleport again nonchalantly.
“YOOOOOOO, THIS ONES FOR YOU YN!!!!!!!!” Rita fry screams into the mic.
“OH MY GOD NOT MY FAVOURITE POPSTAR RITA ALTON RECOGNISING A FAN LIKE ME!!!” Yn squeals, jumping in the air.
“YO YO YO YO
MY TRACK IS RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
UHHH IDK THE RHYME
I SUPER DUPER LOVE YOU!!!!”
The drums BANG and reverberate through yn’s heart, completely captivated by Rita's invigorating ethereality.
“FAAAAHHHH! I LOVE YOU RITA!”
“UHHHH WE SAT ON A TREE
AND I SNIFFED YOUR FEET🥹🥹🤤🤤🤤
ERRR IM SORRY!! (don't leave me)
ILL RUN OVER YOUR ENEMIES WITH A LORRY!!!!!!
AND WE CAN SHARE A LOLLY
AND BE SO JOLLY!!!!!”
and the crowd goes wild.
“YEAAAAHHHH!” Yn cheers, clapping their hands, overjoyed.
“Heh.” Rita drops the mic, echoing as it rolls across the floor. “come up here, yn…”
“FAAAAHHH!??????!!!!!” yn runs onto the stage, hugging Rita, “thank you so much….” They grin.
“No problem.” Rita aurafarms. “Anwyay what au next?”
“Arranged marriage☺️☺️”
“Heh, we can make that a reality in our universe….”
“FAHH?”
Traditional wedding music plays; a beautiful essence surrounding them and officiating their everlasting love.
Yn wipes a tear from their cheek, their face overshadowed by their white veil. “I can't believe we're finally getting married…”
“Yn…” rita holds back her own tears, smoothening down her suit as she watches her love travel the aisle like a boat approaching the harbour at sunset, colours contorting together in the most radiant way. “Let's say our vows…”
Is this really even arranged, or are we just in love…? Yn thinks to theirself, standing on the stage. They look at everyone watching them, all gathered to celebrate their everlasting love.
“Er,” the priest mumbles, “so do you take Rita to be your wife?”
“YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS”
The priest stares at yn, exasperated. “...And Rita, do you take yn to be your ever eternally loved partner?”
“Of course, I wouldn't dream otherwise.” Rita aurafully smirks.
“KYAAAAAAAA!!!!!”
“ER yeah. Kiss the bride, type shit.”
They kiss. Super elegantly and amazingly. It's pretty cool.
“What do you want to do for our honeymoon?” Rita questions, letting go of Yn’s face.
Yn blushes, “er, I want to ride you!”
Rita freezes, “I didn't know you could be so… outward about your intentions.”
“What?”
“Well,” Rita places a hand on her chin, squinting slightly, “we can go to my place. Or, if you're too impatient, we can stop at a hotel.”
“What do you mean?” Yn tilts their head, “I meant I want to go to Alton towers’
“...”
“...”
“FUCK MY CHUD LIFE” Rita screams. “Er, I mean yeah. Sure. That'd be nice too.”
The end. The lived happily ever after—or something like that.
