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MJ felt like the last week had completely turned her world upside down. She had barely returned to New York, and she already knew everything would change because of just one person... Peter Parker.
She barely knew him- just a few days ago, he didn’t exist to her. There was only Spider-Man. However, from the day he burst through her window and almost kidnapped her because she was supposedly in danger, and just a dozen or so hours later confessed that she meant everything to him, that he couldn’t live without her and that he loved her... and she believed him. Because the way he looked at her and cared for her didn’t feel fake. Not in the slightest. Just the way he held her as they swung to her apartment... Besides, was it possible that everything she had found out was a lie? By some miracle, she remembered that four years ago, before she left for college, he was in the donut shop. And the longer she thought about it, the more she remembered from that cold day. She remembered, at least, that he had some piece of paper with him. She assumed it was THAT piece of paper which caused her perception of the last few years to probably change irreversibly and completely.
And now? He was lying in a hospital, shot, and she couldn't think of anything but him. She knew she had hurt him when she told him she didn't love him. Because the way his shoulders slumped, how his eyes glazed over, and his gaze dropped to the floor, indicated that those words were destroying him from the inside.
Even though they were true, they turned out to be some of the last words she said to him. And that was destroying her from the inside. But what else was she supposed to tell him?
She knew her memories of high school were incomplete. She always felt like something was missing in them. And now it turned out that this something- or rather someone- was Peter Parker.
The news reported that for three days, Spider-Man- to her now simply Peter- had been lying in the hospital, and for those two nights, she had barely slept at all. Even though she still knew practically nothing about him, for some reason, she felt that she cared for him. And cared a lot, almost too much for someone like her. And that terrified her, because in almost a matter of hours, this boy had managed to break through her hard emotional shell and barge right into her heart almost without asking. That’s why on the fourth day, she couldn't take it anymore and decided- she had to see him. She knew from the news which hospital he was taken to, but how was she supposed to get inside without arousing suspicion? The only person who could somehow help her was that weird guy, Frank. She started digging around on the internet, and that’s how she found out who the Punisher was.
She had no idea how to contact him. She had sat with him for barely a few hours- how was she supposed to know how things would unfold? So the only person who could help with this was Ned. If anyone was going to hack into police systems, it was him. So she jumped up and ran to his room.
"Ned, I'm begging you, don't ask too many questions because I don't want to lie to you."- she said almost in one breath. - "But you need to find me contact info for a guy named Punisher, some gang killer, bad guys, I don't even know what else he does."
Ned visibly paled and looked at her in confusion, and she could immediately tell he wanted to ask a million questions.
"Ned, please, not now. I'll tell you everything someday... but not yet, and not today."
He looked at her and realized she was serious.
"Okay, give me a minute, I'll try to sort something out. But MJ, it worries me that you want the number for a gang killer."- he said suspiciously.
---
She didn't want to bother him while he was trying to get her the contact info for that weirdo, so she left the room, but she still felt like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because of this boy. Since that moment, she had only seen his face once, but there was something about him that drew her in for some reason. She felt awful about it, because even though things hadn't been going well lately, she still had a boyfriend. Paul probably wouldn't be thrilled that she secretly wanted to see another man, but honestly, right now she didn't care much about what he thought.
There was something intriguing about Peter. As much as she had gotten to know him, she knew he was funny, a little shy around her, smart as hell, and probably very jealous of Paul, judging by his rather indiscreet questions about her love life. He was short but well-built, very much so. His thick hair, large dark eyes, and strong arms evoked... something in her. But it was his intense gaze that was etched into her memory the most.
MJ paced around the room, losing track of time. She was snapped out of her thoughts by Ned, who ran inside.
"MJ, I got it! You won't believe it, I talked to the Black Widow! I didn't find anything in the police systems either, but Spider-Man used to text her from my computer, so I started wondering if she might know something. I kept calling and calling, she didn't want to pick up. But she finally did! She was probably at the pool, or in the sauna? MJ, she is so funny..."- Ned blurted out, clearly excited.
"Ned, stop..."- she interrupted him firmly, feeling the desperation building inside her.
"Right, right, sorry. But MJ, it was amazing! Anyway... she gave me this number."- He handed her a slip of paper.
"You owe me an explanation later!"- he yelled as he walked out into the hallway.
MJ looked at the paper with the number and she didn't even know anymore if she should do this. Would Peter himself even want her to visit him?
She started pacing the room again. Maybe he didn't want her there? But what if he did? Maybe she shouldn't do this to him, judging by what he said he felt for her? In the end, it wouldn't help him, right? Maybe someone else was already visiting him? Though from what she had seen of him, he seemed like a very lonely person...
"MJ, come on, call him."- Ned said, leaning against the doorframe.
She turned to him. -"How long have you been standing there?"- she asked resignedly.
"Long enough to see you hesitating. I know it's probably about Spider-Man, and I have no idea what happened between you two, but do it. Knowing you, you'll do it your way anyway, but please, do it."- he said, and this time he really retreated to his room.
She looked after her friend with resignation. He saw right through her. They had known each other for so many years that she probably couldn't keep secrets from him anyway.
This time, feeling a bit more confident, she dialed the number from the piece of paper and called.
"Hey, Frank... it's MJ..."
---
Standing outside the door of Peter's room, she turned once more to Frank, who evidently intended to stand in the hallway for the entire duration of her stay.
"Listen, thanks for helping me get in here, but you didn't have to aim a gun at people so they wouldn't see my face, or disable the cameras in the whole building... that was slightly fucked up."- She looked at him like he was a complete lunatic, then pressed the door handle and stepped hesitantly inside.
Before her eyes appeared... him. He was lying completely alone. All bruised and battered. Hooked up to a ventilator, wearing an oxygen mask. Completely unconscious.
"Hi, Peter."- she forced out with a heavy voice. - "I... I don't know what to say to you. I don't even know if you even want me here, but here I am."- She pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down.
"We've only known each other for a few days. I mean, I've known you, because you evidently have known me longer..."- she started, feeling tears burning behind her eyelids. For some reason, his condition evoked more emotion in her than anything had in years...
"I really don't know what I should say to you, but first of all, I want you to know that I believe you. I believe every word written in that letter, and I believe we used to know each other. That would explain all these gaps in my memory, and why Spider-Man saved my and Ned's lives so many times. Somehow I felt like I used to know him... meaning I knew you. That would explain why I feel so empty in certain aspects of my life."- she said, a lone tear rolling down her cheek.
"But I haven't thought about that in a long time, you know? Not until you confessed that you loved me. That you still love me, at least I think so... I told you then that I didn't return the feeling, and I feel like a monster about it now, but it was the truth... Please, understand. How can I love someone I don't know? Because of that spell... Peter, it worked. There were no memories of Peter Parker in my life... but I believe he was there, maybe still is... I believe that the girl you knew, that MJ, loved you, and you loved her. It sounds weird, but in a way, I am truly grateful to you for what you did. I think you just wanted me to be safe and happy. And these college years I've spent with Ned have been really great. But it wasn't your decision to make, and I believe... at least I want to believe, that you understand that. I want to believe that that MJ would have stayed with you despite all the shit that happened. I really want to believe that, because I don't remember who she was. And I don't know what you are like, who you were, and what shaped the person you are today."
MJ reached out and hesitantly enclosed his large hand in hers.
"But I would like to get to know you. To find out who Peter Parker really is. I don't want you to be alone. Over the last few days, I've been trying to imagine what you must have gone through all these years. I don't know if I can love you again, or if I even want to, but I definitely want you in my life. I hope something deep inside you hears this. I'd like you to tell me about everything. About what we went through together, about every argument, about the good and bad moments, about what our first kiss was like, our first time, if there even was one... A-And... Maybe we could at least become friends again? Which definitely won't be easy, since I'm not very good at getting close to people... But I think I care about you, Peter Parker. That's why I brought you this..."
She squeezed his hand tighter, then let it go, reached into her purse, and pulled out a drawing of him and Ned. Then she turned and placed it on the shelf behind her.
"I don't know if I'll be here when you wake up. I don't know if I'll ever even come here again, but I want you to know that I was here. You're not alone anymore, Peter Parker. You have me and Ned."- she said, grabbing his hand once more.
"There's one more thing... Before you were shot- at least I'm assuming it was then- something happened. Some kind of magic, I guess, I don't know. By the way, I really hate magic... but it was like time stood still, and I felt something change. Like I was starting to remember something... I still don't remember you, but it's something, right?"- She reached under her shirt and grasped her broken black dahlia necklace.
"This necklace... I don't even know where I got it from. I definitely brought it back from Europe, but I have no idea who I got it from. After that weird incident, I started wondering... maybe it's stupid, but I thought maybe it was a gift from you? You can't answer me now because you're unconscious. But when you wake up-and you have to wake up, Peter, because you're not leaving me with these questions again- you're going to tell me if you have anything to do with it."- she said, feeling tears on her cheeks again.
Not knowing what else she could say to him, she just sat there. She told him about completely trivial things from everyday life, still holding his hand. She had no idea how much time had passed until she noticed it was getting dark outside the window.
She squeezed his hand one last time and stood up. Almost automatically, as if guided by old muscle memory, she brushed a stray lock of hair from his forehead and leaned down, gently kissing him above his eyebrow.
"See you, Peter."