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Shadow likes to think he's gotten much better at controlling his anger. He used to lash out at any annoyance or inconvenience, with little care of who's around him or what's happening. It's hard to blame him, though, when he had to put up with the wily antics of Sonic and his chaotic gang while also going through the most intense feelings of grief and anger he'd ever felt.
He's built a tolerance to their stupidity now, thankfully. Any time Knuckles or Sonic spouts some idiotic one-liner he just rolls his eyes instead of punting the nearest body (usually Tails, sorry kid) into a wall. If they really piss him off, he tries to take it out on the robots or trees. On the days where that isn't an option, he bottles it up and spars it out with Sonic.
Today is one of those days.
He hasn't been home in so long. GUN is keeping him booked and busy, and he hates it. It seems like the more time passes, the stupider GUNs higher-ups get. Shadow very nearly ripped his quills out trying to explain to them that:
'No, I am not a robot. Yes, i need rest. No, you cannot work me for a week straight and expect me to perform perfectly. Yes, I will fuck up occasionally because I am a living being. No, I am not willing to risk mine and my family's life to complete this stupid mission. Yes, I have a family."
Only for them to not understand a single world coming out of his mouth. Come on, is it so hard to believe that Shadow's grown close to people? That he has people he'd consider family? That he needs rest in order to work? He's spent so long trying to tear down the idea of the 'perfect lifeform with no emotions or weaknesses', only for them to keep pushing it onto him like a leech.
So, he's angry. He hasn't been able to let out his anger in quite a while. It's all been swimming and festering under the surface of his skin and he's damn near about to explode. He hasn't been home– well, he hasn't been to Sonic's in weeks (when did he start considering Sonic's house his own home?) and his heart misses the warmth and comfort of their– of Sonic's bed. But unfortunately, his work isn't over yet.
He's so nearly done with his latest mission, he's on his way to an old Eggman base to do some data retrieval, and hopefully, that's the last of his duties and he can go home. Gaia, he misses sleep, and food. He's been surviving on shitty GUN coffee and saltines for days. He hasn't even been able to sneak a power nap in before one of those wrinkly, evil humans stalks by his desk and catch him.
The only positive of these missions so far is that he's been running around so often that he's actually crossed paths with Sonic multiple times. He's never had the luxury of stopping and chatting with his lover, but he has been able to fight Eggman's security robot's alongside the blue blur. It made those missions just a tad bit easier. Especially the part where Shadow got to steal a quick kiss before teleporting away, leaving Sonic standing stunned in the debris.
A tree branch to the face brings Shadow back to his reality, and he groans as he stops, rubbing at his forehead and glaring back at the offending tree with ire. He's so tired. An awake Shadow would've never made that mistake. He shakes his head, fixing his quills and firing up his air shoes again. He shoots off, sighing as the wind rushes past him, cooling the heat from the hot evening sun. He has a headache, he realises. A pounding, angry headache. The tree branch didn't help; in fact, it definitely made it worse.
He keeps running, because he has no time for headaches. When he's home, curled under Sonic's blankets after a good, long bath, then he'll address the headache. Hopefully it'll go away with a nap. Or some food. He really, really hopes his bed will solve most of his issues. Maybe he could get Sonic to massage his back for him; surely if he looks pathetic enough, Sonic will take pity.
This is probably the only time he'll accept pity. Sonic is the only one he'd accept pity from.
He's about halfway to the abandoned base when he feels the energy. Within a second of that familiar feeling, a blue blur is now mirroring him. He looks over, happy to see his partner, but dear Gaia– he can already see Sonic's mouth opening. He is not in the mood for Sonic's blabbing. His head is pounding.
"Shadow! What a coincidence!" Sonic smirks, his voice bold and happy and utterly too loud for Shadow's already tired and overstimulated mind. He doesn't respond, but his frown deepens as he shoots forward, hoping Sonic will get the hint and leave.
Unfortunately, Sonic doesn't care about hints. He's back at Shadow's shoulder, ready to yap again.
"Y'know, I thought you'd be more happy to see me. I recall you leaving a little something with me last time that I'd like to return, if ya'know what I mean," Sonic wiggles his eyebrows at the GUN agent, and Shadow lets out an audible groan of annoyance.
"Not now, Sonic," He grumbles, voice deep and gravelly from exhaustion. Sonic pouts in the corner of his vision, surging ahead of Shadow to circle him, watching him from every angle.
"Yikes, you look like shit," Sonic helpfully observes, "Still hot, though. Maybe hotter? I'm not sure–" Sonic keeps yapping, all around Shadow's head. Surround sound Sonic. Dear Gaia help him.
Shadow feels his anger bubbling to the surface. The voice of his partner usually comforts him, but right now he can't handle Sonic's high, bubbly, alive voice while he feels like he's dead on his feet.
Shadow runs through a clearing in the forest, and then, after a second, he turns around, circling back to it and stopping in the centre, breathing heavily. Sonic follows, eyebrows creasing in confusion. He breaks messily, heels digging into the grass and dirt.
"Hey, why'd we stop? Is this an Eggman base? I don't see a base–" In one quick, blurred movement, Shadow is on top of Sonic, slamming him into the dirt, frustration and anger radiating off him. He needs to burn these emotions, lest they compromise his mission. And the perfect punching bag happens to be under his fist.
Sonic looks up at him with wide eyes, and suddenly, a spark of joy lights up in the green, and a wicked smile creeps up on his lover's face.
"Oh. I see. It's one of these days." Sonic kicks at Shadow's stomach, breaking free and spin dashing away until he's on the other side of the clearing.
"Come at me, Shads," He taunts, and Shadow's Chaos energy flares at the challenge. He crouches predatorily, eyeing Sonic for any little tells of his next move. He's sparred with Sonic enough to spot even the most minute shift in his stance or eyes. Sonic shifts his foot slightly, and Shadow grins something fierce.
Sonic darts left, and Shadow meets him there, slamming his full weight into the blue hedgehog and attempting to knock him off his feet. Sonic counters, pushing against Shadow, splaying his feet and steadying his body, and then he leverages Shadow's weight against him, flipping him over his shoulder and across the clearing.
Shadow tucks and rolls before he can hit the ground, landing safely and rushing back before Sonic has a chance to move. He kicks, the sound of his air shoes hitting Sonic loud and painful. Sonic doesn't react– he's been victim to those shoes too many times to care. He catches Shadow's foot between his hands, smirking at him before pulling, making Shadow fall to the floor pathetically.
He attempts to pin Shadow down, but the darker hedgehog lurches up, headbutting Sonic with a deafening impact that leaves both their heads ringing. Before Sonic can recover, Shadow tosses him off and into the dirt. Sonic groans, but doesn't waste much time before popping back up, grinning all the while.
Shadow doesn't wait; he comes at Sonic, fists swinging. The first punch makes contact with Sonic's face, and a beautiful stream of red starts to pour from his lover's nose and down his lips. Sonic licks at it, frowning at the metallic taste coats his mouth.
"Meanie," Sonic complains, but his own fists are already flying, trying to land a hit on the GUN agent. They both move faster and faster, becoming nothing more than circling streaks of blue and orange in the once peaceful clearing. Sonic lands a hit, square in Shadow's chest. It knocks the wind out of the darker hedgehog, and he stops abruptly. He grits his teeth, snarling. The sound is animalistic; Sonic doesn't seem to care.
He rushes forward again, anger influencing his movements, and he lets out a flurry of punches as Sonic guards. He throws his all into his fists, every moment from the last weeks. Every insult, ever degrading question, every word from those old, wrinkly mens' mouths.
He isn't paying enough attention, he knows it. And he knows that Sonic will take advantage of his sloppy movements, but he doesn't care. It feels so cathartic to just let it out.
Sonic lets him punch for a while, tanking it all with the strength of a hero. He digs his feet into the dirt, bracing as he slides backwards with every hit of Shadow's fists. Despite their position (which practically looks like a fight to the death from the outside), Sonic's eyes are soft; worried even. He peeks through his guarding arms, taking in the pure emotions flowing from Shadow's expression, and he lets the barrage happen.
Though, the battle must eventually continue.
As expected, Sonic uses Shadow's emotion against him. The blue blur sweeps his foot out, tripping Shadow, and Shadow grips at his quills, bringing him down as well. They turn into a tumbling, rolling mess on the floor, scratching and pulling at each other. Shadow can feel the grass and twigs getting stuck between his quills, poking at his head and itching like all hell, but he's far too busy wrestling the blue hog on top of him to care about his vanity right now.
He manages to pin Sonic down, straddling him as Sonic wiggles and fights under him, unwilling to call it quits. Sonic's body goes slack for a second, and Shadow almost thinks the fight is over, until his partner grabs a fistful of his chest fluff, pulling him down and biting at his shoulder hard.
Shadow hisses as Sonic's teeth break skin, and he pushes the hedgehog away, glaring at him. Sonic simply grins at him, teeth bared and bright. Shadow wants to wipe that smile off his face, though he doesn't know how exactly. Maybe a slap, or a kick. Or a kiss. Something to make the sting of the teeth marks fade.
Shadow fires his shoes up, rushing towards Sonic, but his partner knows him, and dodges, causing Shadow to plow head first through a tree. The damaged tree creaks and falls, though Shadow barely spares it a passing glance before chasing after Sonic.
They play another quick game of cat and mouse before Sonic stumbles— ironically, on the tree that Shadow just took down— and Shadow catches him. He pulls Sonic's quills, wrenching him backwards and slamming his back against a tree. He weaves a hand around Sonic's throat, effectively trapping him between the tree and Shadow's own body.
They're both breathing heavily, quills and fur a mess. Sonic has red stains all over his muzzle from his nosebleed, and Shadow's sure he has more than a couple scratches on his body. Not to mention the bleeding bite mark that's already begun to scab over and heal.
Each breath rattles Shadow's chest, but as he takes a second to breathe, he realises he feels better. Much better, actually. And Sonic seems to know this already, by the way his eyes shine with a tender affection that had been missing throughout their entire spar.
His shoulders relax, his grip on Sonic growing weaker, but Sonic doesn't take advantage of this. Their fight is over; they both know it. Instead, Sonic lets his own body go limp against the tree, patiently waiting for Shadow to gather his bearings. Shadow's hand drops from around his partner's throat, and he takes a couple steps back, just breathing. His lungs no longer feel stuffed with cotton, and his heart is slightly less heavy with anger. It's enough to keep him going.
Sonic wipes his bloody muzzle on his white glove, marring them with a red matching Shadow's quills.
"Yikes, you got me good," Sonic laughs, shaking himself like a wet dog. Debris and flora go flying from his blue quills, and he lets out a sigh of relief as he stretches his muscles. Then, he approaches Shadow. He doesn't touch– not yet. He knows how volatile Shadow can be in these types of situations.
Just because the darker hedgehog has softened up throughout the years doesn't mean his edges don't still cut.
Instead, he peeks at Shadow, studying his face with a practiced ease. His smile goes all gooey, and Shadow loathes the way it sparks a fire in his stomach.
"You got it all out?" Sonic eventually asks, words soft among the ruined forest clearing. Shadow considers, then shakes his head.
"Not all," he admits, but he smiles back nonetheless, "but enough."
Sonic reaches a hand out slowly, giving the darker hedgehog enough time to reject or pull away, but Shadow doesn't move. He reaches past Shadow's face, into his quills, and a small, quieter laugh falls from his lips.
"You'd hate to see your quills right now," Sonic teases. The simple action of carding through Shadow's quills once produces a tree's worth of twigs and leaves, all drifting to the forest floor and blending with the disturbed foliage. Shadow rolls his eyes, but doesn't move to fix his quills like he'd usually do. He's a mess in ever other aspect of his life right now, why not his quills as well? It truly rounds off the whole 'fed up with this shit' vibe he's going for.
"Thank you," Shadow whispers, and Sonic's hands stop their movements at the words. He knows what Shadow means by those simple words.
'Thank you for coming to find me.'
'Thank you for letting me blow off steam.'
'Thank you for understanding that I'm violent.'
'Thank you for not asking questions.'
'Thank you for hitting me back.'
'Thank you for making me feel normal.'
Sonic's smile turns a bit…sad, and his hands trail down Shadow's head, lingering on his cheeks and then drifting down to Shadow's shoulder. He rests his hand over the already-healing bite mark, caressing the bruised skin.
"Come home soon," Sonic demands, worry in his eyes, "They're overworking you."
Shadow can't argue with him; he knows Sonic's right. And, Gaia, he wants to go abandon this mission and go back to Sonic's house so badly. But that'd get him in more trouble. More trouble means more missions. More paperwork. More meetings. More GUN.
"I'll try to make this my last mission. They're acting bold because Tower's working remote, but I'll teleport straight to his bedroom if I have to," Shadow promises.
He should go now. He's already late; he was expected to arrive at Eggman's base at least thirty minutes ago. But Sonic's in front of him, and he can't help himself. He ducks into Sonic's arms, hiding his face in his lover's shoulder. Sonic freezes for a moment, unsure what to do with this unusual display of vulnerability, but he quickly recovers, wrapping his arms tightly around the tired GUN agent, bundling him as close as possible, as if shielding him from the world.
Shadow doesn't have the luxury to stay like this for long, so he soaks it up as much as he can. It's less than a minute before he forces himself to pull away, sighing heavily and straightening his posture.
"Better?" Sonic asks, hands still lingering on Shadow, not willing to let go until he has to.
"Better," Shadow smiles. He gentle pries Sonic's hands away, and he sends a jolt of Chaos energy into his shoes, powering them up. He gives one last look at Sonic, not saying anything. He doesn't want to say goodbye, or see you later, or i love you. He just wants to get this mission over with.
He does a two-finger salute instead, and then he's off, kicking up all the debris in the clearing into a wild cloud as he races through the trees.
"See ya, Shads," Sonic calls, the words just barely reaching Shadow's eyes, but it's enough for him.
The spar helped. It helped more than Sonic could ever understand. Sure, he was a bit too aggressive– but in his defence Sonic is not an easy person to deal with when already overstimulated and angry.
Shadow's pretty sure Sonic was purposefully riling him up anyway. Sonic seems to know the striped hedgehog more than he knows himself; that blue bastard probably knew a punching bag was exactly the thing Shadow needed to get back on track.
Maybe he should be annoyed at that; at someone knowing and understanding him better than himself. But all he feels is warm. The anger that had been bundled in his chest has unravelled, and though it's not all gone, it's manageable now. It's no longer a huge tangle of emotions that Shadow couldn't begin to sort through. It's just…floating there now, alongside the warmth.
He can take out the rest of the anger on the GUN officials. They deserve it more than Sonic ever has. But hey, Sonic knew what he was signing up for, and he walked in with open arms.
Plus, Shadow saw that glint in his eyes at the thought of a fight; that boy is a thrill-seeker. Shadow thinks he's a hero partly for the fun of the game. Saving the world many times over is just a bonus to the fighting and constant imminent danger.
Shadow's just… so damn grateful. To be able to throw a punch and get excitement as the reaction. Well, Shadow thinks that on some level, Sonic was made for Shadow. Maybe Maria sent him.
The thought of that makes him smile as he pulls up on the Eggman base. Maria, hand-picking Sonic from millions of options, and deciding he's the one to compliment Shadow. The blue one, with the kind eyes, bright smile and speeds enough to keep up with her Ultimate Lifeform brother. Someone to match him in every way that matters.
Well, Shadow wouldn't dare spend another second of his life taking Sonic for granted, that's for sure.