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Sonic can usually handle most things life throws at him. He's a hero; he's built to run for hours on end, to fight with injuries that would take down any normal, non-Chaos-filled Mobian. He's the Hero of Mobius.
But sometimes, it's all a bit too much for his body to handle. Actually, not just 'sometimes'–recently it feels like his body's left bruised and broken after every little fight or scuffle. Sparring with his partner has him aching for days. Running for a bit too long in the hot sun causes him waves of dizziness and nausea he wouldn't wish on his worst enemies– not even Eggman.
Of course, he brings none of this up to anyone. Instead, he pushes through, because surely it's just a fluke, right? Surely this streak of poor health and exhaustion isn't permanent, and therefore he should NOT be concerned…right?
Wrong. Of course he's wrong; he's Sonic the Hedgehog– he's always wrong. It's funny how often he's wrong, actually.
The fight isn't particularly long or brutal, but he finds himself slowing down halfway into it. A missed attack, a slow reaction, a sloppy dodge. He's feeling each impact of his feet against the floor, travelling up through his legs and hips in a numbing, pounding pain. His breathing is getting all wonky– he's pretty sure he hasn't inhaled a full breath in about thirty minutes.
And the icing on the cake: everyone else is at top form. He can hear whoops of laughter as they smash bots like it's another Tuesday (because it IS, just not for Sonic).
They've all been keeping count of their kills, and Sonic keeps hearing numbers being called across the battlefield.
"Thirty!" Tails shouts over the sound of a buzzbomber crashing and burning.
"FIFTY!" Amy giggles, sticking her tongue out at the fox as she hits a bot like a bowling ball, nailing down a line of crabmeat. Sonic smiles, glad his friends are enjoying themselves, but it doesn't distract from the churning in his stomach or the burning in his chest. He hasn't bothered to keep count of his bots smashed; he's sure it'll lead to more disappointment.
"Seventy-two! Beat that, weaklings!" Knuckles cackles, and Sonic can hear his fists smashing metal through the ringing in his ears.
A wave of dizziness claims him, and for just a second, he slips. It's enough time for the Eggpawn he's fighting to lay a painful blow to the top of his head, sending him reeling and fighting for his breath back. He recovers, though he wants to curl up right here and die, and he spin-dashes the bot before taking a moment to breathe, pretending to survey the fight.
"One hundred and fifty-three," Shadow smoothly brags, and Sonic can hear the smirk in his lover's voice. He hears a groan from above as Rouge pelts a bomb at some crabmeat trying to blindside Amy.
"No way–" She complains, "Have there even been THAT many bots?"
"AFFIRMATIVE– THERE HAVE BEEN 500 BADNIKS DEPLOYED ON THE BATTLEFIELD SO FAR. THERE ARE 19 LEFT ON THE BATTLEFIELD. I HAVE DESTROYED 88 BADNIKS." Omega's voice blares through the entire area like a bomb, ringing painfully through Sonic's head, aggravating his headache.
"My count's at 65, though it doesn't matter anymore since Handsome is beating us all," Rouge grumbles, delivering a swift kick to an Eggpawn next to Sonic and sending a wink his way before dashing off to the skies again. He barely gets a good look at her, his vision too blurry.
He pushes through, forcing his legs to move faster, throwing his punches stronger– anything to finish this Gaia-forsaken fight. He just wants his bed. Is that too much to ask?
He feels a robot hit him from behind, and he stumbles, gasping as his back arches in pain. He turns around to see an orange blur already pummeling the offending bot. His partner stops in front of him, frowning as he looks the blue hero up and down.
"Pay attention, hedgehog," Shadow scolds, though his voice is softer than he probably intended. Sonic gives him a fake smile, pelting a thumbs up his way and speeding off so he doesn't break in front of Shadow.
They're so close. He needs to finish this battle. That's all. Then he can let himself feel. He spindashes through the robots, ping-ponging off them one after the next. When he stops, he can barely breathe. He wheezes through the dust and metal debris, willing his lungs to expand and function normally.
He faintly wonders if he'd caught the flu at some point. That would explain his steadily worsening health. But he has no fever, no cough, no sore throat. And this has lasted way longer than any flu he's experienced in his life.
He swears he blacks out for a second, because he blinks, and suddenly, the battlefield is clear. Robotnik is swearing at him from his eggmobile, spewing words that Sonic can't quite make out through the pain and exhaustion. He feels his team gathering around him, and so, with a heavy body, he slips his mask into place, slapping a brave, cocky smile onto his face as the doctor lowers to yell at them some more.
"Oh, come on, Eggman! You should know the routine by now! You can't possibly be mad," Sonic taunts, leaning forward smugly. His voice sounds wrong to his own ears, but no one else comments on it.
The doctor rages, and Sonic feels a genuine laugh bubble up over the pain. Laughing at Eggman is always a surefire way to make a bad situation better.
Eggman doesn't linger; he shoots off once he realises he's outmatched and his robots are of no use to him. His team laughs and celebrates, but all Sonic can focus on is the fact that his body is going to fail him soon. Everything passes by him in blurs; the battle felt like it lasted hours and seconds at the same time. The midday sun beats down on his quills and bakes his sweat into his head.
Everything spins. They usually clean up the aftermath of the battle as a team, but he truly doesn't think he can stand for much longer.
He turns slowly, taking in the sight of his friends jumping into action without a second thought. Tails is already digging through the scrap, eyes shining as he pulls out robotic parts and wires to fill his workshop storage with. Amy and Rouge are laughing about something while they gather up and compact metal with Amy's hammer. Knuckles is doing the heavy lifting, dragging all the larger bits into piles around the battlefield.
"Hey– guys-" Sonic's voice cracks pathetically, and he winces as they all turn to him in unison, eyes curious, "I–uh- I might need to head out– sorry–" he manages to squeak out before his mind screams at him to 'GET TO SAFETY' before he collapses. He doesn't wait for a response, dashing off towards his home at sonic speed.
He doesn't realise that a certain orange blur had taken off after him, barely sparing a second to reassure the group that 'I've got him, don't worry' before leaving.
Sonic bursts into their home carelessly, barely shutting the door behind him before he collapses onto the cool wooden floor.
He pants, head pounding and limbs screaming. Every muscle in his body is tense; he can't breathe. He presses his face into the floor, searching for that cold relief of the laminated wood, but it's not enough. His head feels like it's on fire.
He can't hear anything over the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. He squeezes his eyes closed, focusing on his breathing, but no matter how hard he tries, it feels like he can't get enough oxygen into his lungs.
Something touches his back, and he nearly screams, flailing uselessly and scuttling backwards until he hits the couch. With effort, he pries open his eyes, adrenaline already starting to course through his body as it prepares for an attack. Instead of robots, or Robotnik, or Metal Sonic, he's greeted by Shadow's worried face peering at him, speaking words he can't discern. He involuntarily relaxes at the sight of his lover.
"–nic, Sonic– what happened?? Sonic?" Shadow's voice is frantic, eyes roaming across Sonic's body over and over as he sits propped against the back of the couch.
"Are you injured? Did you get hurt, Sonic? Can you hear me?" As much as he loves the sound of his lover's voice, it causes the growing headache— actually, it might be a migraine– to pound against his skull angrily. He shakily raises his hands, and messily, with only muscle memory to serve him as his brain is currently non-functional, he signs.
'Quiet, please.' The signs are messy; his hand barely makes it to his mouth to properly sign 'quiet', but it seems like Shadow gets the gist of his attempt, as his mouth snaps shut. Shadow reaches a tentative hand out, and when Sonic doesn't object, he gently touches the tired hedgehog's face, cradling it in his dirty gloves.
Sonic practically melts into the contact. His head feels too heavy for his neck to hold up, so he allows Shadow to hold the weight instead.
"Sh'ds," he mumbles out, sighing as his partner rakes his other hand through his dishevelled blue quills.
"What do you need, Faker?" Shadow asks, his voice now consciously quieter and lower. The way it rumbles feels like a soothing balm over Sonic's headache. He thinks for a moment longer than he should; what does he need? A cold bath might be first on the agenda. He can feel the flames of hell trying to exit his body– he didn't even know he could overheat like this. He's so used to running in the hot sun, or fighting in scorching weather, that this feeling is so foreign to him,
Maybe he needs some food too– or water. Or medicine. Scratch that, actually– he needs a NAP.
Can't he do it all at the same time? That'd be so very helpful.
"Sonic. Hey– I can't help if you don't let me," Shadow reminds, voice serious, snapping Sonic back to reality. He hadn't even realised he was drifting again. Gaia above, he's tired.
"Cold b'th," he slurs eventually. Shadow nods, relief dawning in his eyes as he finally gets a task to carry out.
"Can I— Can I pick you up?" Shadow asks, voice unsure. Sonic doesn't like it when his voice sounds like that. It doesn't suit Shadow– confident, assured Shadow. He nods, lazily raising his hands for his lover to lift him.
Shadow holds him as if he's made of glass; so tender and caring, it makes Sonic wish he could stay in his arms forever.
He lets himself zone out while Shadow walks him up the stairs and to the bathroom. Gaia, his body hurts. Now that he's had a moment to calm down, he finally feels like he can breathe, but it doesn't completely get rid of the burning in his chest with every inhale he takes.
He hears doors opening, switches turning on, and water starting to flow. In a familiar routine, Shadow rests Sonic on the bathroom counter, easing off his shoes and garments with gentle hands while Sonic's head lulls back, quills squishing against the mirror.
"I'm going to put you in the bath," Shadow warns, picking him up again, his own hands free of those clunky gloves.
Despite the desperate need for his temperature to regulate, Sonic still flinches as he's lowered into the cold water, his body taking an uncomfortable moment to adjust before he can truly relax.
Shadow guides his head backwards, and then a stream of cold water runs blissfully down his head, through his quills and down his back. It soothes the heat burning through his forehead. He sighs, sinking deeper into the water. Though the cold feels great on his flushed skin, it also doesn't help with the aches in his joints and muscles. He'll trade one relief for another, though, because his head no longer feels like it's going to explode, and right now, that's enough to keep him going.
Shadow doesn't ask anything of him. With deft hands, he lathers soap into Sonic's fur and washes him clean. He pours water through Sonic's quills until every single part of his head is cooled down, and then he shampoos and conditions it, manoeuvring Sonic's dead weight around the bathtub like it's nothing. Sonic lets himself be manhandled, because it's Shadow. He trusts Shadow completely; he doesn't need to be aware of himself when Shadow's here. His partner can handle things.
The tub is eventually drained around him. His quills and fur are being washed with the handheld shower head, and a towel is sapping his quills dry, then being wrapped around him.
"Sonic," Shadow whispers, raking a hand through his blue, damp quills, "Time to get up. I need to dry you more before we go to bed."
Sonic nods, eyes cracking open to gather his bearings. Shadow is leaning over him, eyes kind but still holding intense worry and confusion as he gazes at his partner. With shaking, sore arms, he reaches up and hooks his hands around Shadow's neck, using it as leverage to help pull his weak body up.
Shadow's arms are around him instantly, ready to support.
Honestly, Sonic thinks he's doing well. He's basically standing on his own two feet! How impressive!
Of course, the world punishes braggers. A wave of dizziness passes over him, taking the breath from his lungs and making the entire room spin. He squeezes his eyes closed again, an involuntary groan leaving his mouth. The sound makes Shadow freeze in alarm, his arms tightening around Sonic.
"What is it? Sonic?" He questions, trying to keep his voice steady, though Sonic can hear the panic leaking in.
"Dizzy–" Sonic mumbles, letting out a harsh breath. Shadow hums, and then he's being lowered into the wet tub again.
"Okay, take a second, hm?" Shadow murmurs into Sonic's quills, hands steady and supportive as Sonic fails to hold himself up once again. He rides out the dizzy spell, leaning more and more into Shadow's arms as his exhausted body truly begins to stop responding to him. Shadow hums contemplatively, then decides.
"Can I pick you up instead? It'll be less work for your body," Shadow asks gently. Sonic truly wants to help himself; he wants to stand on his own, or at least hold up some of his weight to help his partner, but Shadow looks down at him with those kind, worried eyes, and he can't help but agree.
"Yeah.." He sighs, bracing as his partner embraces him and lifts effortlessly. He swiftly deposits Sonic onto a towel folded on the counter, and then starts to towel-dry Sonic's fur and quills as the tired hedgehog tries his best to hold himself upright.
His blinks are long and lazy, his eyes desperate to close and rest, but it's easier to keep his eyes open when he focuses on his partner. He takes in Shadow's appearance (though he's seen it a thousand times).
His eyes trace the red streaks up his quills, lining his eyes and running down his arms to the tip of his middle finger. The way his brows are scrunched in concentration as he gently saps the water from Sonic's blue fur and quills. The way his hand lingers on Sonic's back, where he saw the hero take a hit earlier. How he caresses Sonic's sides and shoulders tenderly, making the pain seem like a distant memory for just a moment.
Shadow eventually stops his motions, deeming Sonic dry enough to continue.
"Bedroom?" He confirms, and Sonic signs a lazy 'yes'. Once again, he's in Shadow's arms as the dark hedgehog exits the bathroom and makes the short walk to Sonic's room. Shadow leaves the room dim, only bothering to turn on the hanging fairy lights to brighten the room slightly. It's warm and soothing, but gentle enough not to aggravate Sonic's headache. He appreciates it.
The bed welcomes Sonic softly. His pained figure sinks into the mattress with a groan. Shadow's hand caresses his face, and he hears his lover sigh worriedly.
"Ready to tell me what's going on?" Shadow murmurs, tilting his head as he frowns at Sonic. Sonic blinks lazily, a heavy feeling settling in his chest as he thinks about trying to explain his…situation. He doesn't want to think about it; he wants to ignore it until it goes away.
But… recently, it feels like he can't even stand for five minutes without fatigue and exhaustion dragging him down. He's been napping more often. Slamming painkillers every day, hoping for some relief from this never-ending headache. Waking up nauseous, throwing up for no reason. His stomach turns and twists, no matter what he does or how he eats.
It's been…hopeless, really. He's so utterly tired. He doesn't mean to keep Shadow in the dark, but how is he supposed to explain that he's being taken down by something unexplainable? Shadow sees his hesitation, and his frown deepens. He stands, and for a second, Sonic jolts, wondering if Shadow's going to leave.
He doesn't want to be alone. He– he can't do this alone.
His breathing must give away his thoughts, because Shadow's leaning over him now, shushing him.
"I'm going to get a cold cloth for your head. Take your time, think about what you want to say," Shadow soothes, leaning down to press a brief kiss onto the blue hedgehog's forehead before he's up and out of the room.
It feels lonely in here without Shadow. Sonic's room has always been a sanctuary of sorts for the hero. It's the one place he never allowed the outside world to infiltrate. And yes, that includes his friends. He loves them all so dearly, but he needs a space to just…exist. Without needing to be Sonic the Hedgehog, Hero of Mobius. His room is guarded, close to his heart.
And then Shadow came along. And suddenly, the quiet of his room felt suffocating without another heartbeat alongside his. Without Shadow's soft breathing, or huffed laughter. Red and black quills scattered across the floors, leather jackets in the hamper. The smell of lavender and stray cups of coffee. Without Shadow, it doesn't feel right anymore. This isn't Sonic's room; it's Sonic and Shadow's.
He can't lie to Shadow. He's already been lying for weeks. Every time his partner eyes him suspiciously as he loses their spars, he lies. He says he's tired, or he let Shadow win, or his mind's occupied with something else. Anything to avoid telling Shadow that every spar makes his bones ache. He just…needs to come clean. Admit that he's weak.
Something cool is laid across his forehead, and he instinctively pushes up into it, sighing. Shadow sits down, the bed dipping with his weight. He peers down at Sonic, patient, but Sonic can see the curiosity and frustration in those darling red eyes. So, he inhales deeply, without the words to explain but ready to try.
"I have a headache."
Shadow raises his brow, but remains silent, allowing Sonic to speak.
"I– I've had a headache for weeks. It hasn't gone away," Sonic's voice shakes. Gaia, he sounds like a child. Shadow frowns a bit at that, and he reaches to press the cold rag deeper into Sonic's fur, helping it penetrate down into his flushed skin.
"And– all my limbs hurt constantly. My–my joints keep aching and burning, even when I rest," now that he's talking, it feels like he can't stop. Everything comes tumbling out.
"'N I'm constantly nauseous, Shads– When I wake up, when I go to bed, when I run. No matter what or when I eat," he rambles, sitting up slightly. Blood rushes from his head, and the headache pounds, angry at him for the change of position, but he doesn't care. He leans back on the pillows, fiddling with his hands, frustrated.
"I keep getting dizzy. I keep overheating– it feels like my head's exploding with heat sometimes– and I'm tired all the time– I'm so tired, Shads. I can't– I can't do anything anymore. I can't enjoy the things I love–I can't fight or run." His breathing gets wonky the more he talks. He's so fed up with this.
"I haven't even been able to eat a chilli dog! Just the smell makes my stomach turn! And–" Sonic grits his teeth, tears springing to his eyes, "I don't know why. I'm not sick– I don't have the flu, I didn't injure myself– I haven't done anything wrong– why am I in so much pain?" he whines, stifling a sob. His shoulders heave with a breath, and the movement causes the rag on his forehead to fall, landing pathetically on his leg as he buries his head in his hands.
Shadow's hand tentatively touches Sonic's knee, the contact searing hot but so painfully welcome. When the only reaction he gets is another heaving sob, he shifts closer, grasping Sonic's wrists and gently pulling, trying to coax his lover's face from his tan palms.
"Hey, Sonic," Shadow whispers, "Look at me, please?"
Sonic shakes his head stubbornly, a couple of airy breaths slipping out despite his attempts to keep his sobs silent. Shadow rolls his eyes fondly, tugging again,
"Let me see you, Sonic."
Sonic peeks out from behind his fingers, reminiscent of a child, but Shadow smiles at the sight of those green eyes, however watery and red-rimmed they may be. Slowly, Sonic allows his hands to be pulled away, revealing his messy face and wobbling lips. Shadow brings Sonic's hands to his own lips, then, pressing a sweet kiss into them.
"There you are," he murmurs. Ruby eyes scan Sonic's face, and Shadow's expression gets sadder the more he looks at his hurting partner.
"Sonic.. why didn't you tell me?" Shadow asks, heartbroken as he repeats Sonic's words in his head. He's rarely heard the blue hero sound so…hopeless. Even in the worst of moments, with the most dire of injuries, Sonic has always managed to smile and move forward. But now–
"I– I thought it'd go away. That if I rested, or if I ignored it– Shadow, I'm meant to be better than this. What did I do wrong?" Sonic asks, not really to Shadow but more to the universe itself. Shadow inhales sharply at the words, dropping Sonic's hands to cradle his tear-streaked face instead.
"You didn't do anything wrong," Shadow stresses, "Hey– these things happen sometimes. It's unfair, and it isn't something you should be forced to live with, but it's not your fault, Hedgehog." Shadow soothes the frazzled hero in front of him, pulling him into a
loose embrace. Sonic's arms feel too weak to even circle his partner, so he leans heavily into the darker hedgehog, a fresh wave of tears surfacing and soaking into the black fur.
"I don't know what to do," Sonic admits, nuzzling into Shadow's shoulder, "It's getting in the way of my life, Shads. I wake up tired. I can barely get up in the morning– I can't cook Tails breakfast or sit with him at the table."
He swallows thickly, the next part of his sentence getting stuck in his throat,
"I can't keep up with the team anymore. I– I nearly passed out during the fight today. I couldn't focus– my vision was spinning, and everything hurt," he doesn't know how else to explain it to Shadow.
Honestly, he feels like an idiot. Shadow–sweet Shadow– has gone through the worst pains imaginable. His poor partner suffers with chronic pains that Sonic couldn't handle a fraction of. His childhood consisted of torture and experiments that make even Omega sick to his metaphorical stomach. Most of his dreams are terrifying memories and nightmares; he gets stuck in flashbacks so intense that it takes Sonic hours to bring him back to reality.
If anyone understands pain, it's Shadow.
And yet, Sonic's here, whining to him about something as simple as 'feeling unwell'. He feels dramatic. He feels weak.
"'m sorry," Sonic mumbles out, and he feels Shadow jolt under him.
"For?" He asks, voice smooth but inquisitive. Gaia, Sonic loves that voice. It hurts his heart that he makes his partner worry this much for nothing.
"For being so weak–" Shadow pulls back before Sonic can finish his sentence, and Sonic is startled to see pain in his red eyes.
"No," Shadow demands, "Never say that. Never." He leans his forehead against Sonic's, gazing into his eyes reverently. There are emotions swirling in his eyes that Sonic can't handle right now. Passion, care, anger, love; it's all too much. All Sonic can do is gaze back.
"Sonic. You're suffering. You've been putting up with this all alone– for weeks. You aren't weak; you're so, so strong. Stop thinking otherwise."
"But–" Sonic fights back, "Gaia, Shadow– you go through literal hell. This is a fraction of the things you deal with– of the things so many others deal with. I'm being taken down by things that wouldn't make you flinch–"
Shadow scoffs, and the noise silences the blue hedgehog. He's scared he's about to be judged, or worse– his thoughts are about to be confirmed by Shadow.
Instead, Shadow shakes his head, the movement moving Sonic's head along with it.
"You should know better, hedgehog," Shadow scolds, though his voice is fond, "Comparison is the thief of joy. You'd never stand for the others comparing their pain to mine, right? Amy, Knuckles, Tails?"
Sonic shakes his head swiftly, eyes widening,
"No– never."
"Then don't compare your own with mine. I was made to be the Ultimate Lifeform, curated in space using alien DNA. Of course I can deal with more– I'm built never to die, Sonic. That doesn't mean what you're going through is any less important or tiring."
Sonic blinks at his partner, then sags, nodding,
"I know that– I know. I just- I feel so– so–" Sonic fumbles, words escaping him. He doesn't know what to say, everything feels too simple to describe what he's been experiencing. Shadow understands, though. As intimately as one can, Shadow understands.
"I'm sorry you're in pain," Shadow whispers, leaning close to peck Sonic's lips, "And I'm sorry I didn't realise for so long."
Sonic shakes his head,
"I hid it from you. I kept lying," He replies against his lover's lips.
Being in bed has helped astronomically with his pain. His head is still pounding, and his vision still spins every couple of minutes, but it no longer feels like he's about to pass out. The soft mattress cradles his aching limbs, and it's like a weight being lifted from his body. Still, sitting up, even while being supported by Shadow, is exhausting him.
"Shads–" He hesitates to ask, but Shadow's kind eyes are instantly attuned to him, "can we lie down?"
Shadow doesn't waste a second. He shuffles them both around, easing Sonic down onto the bed with gentle hands. Being horizontal helps astronomically. He feels the relief almost instantly. He hums happily as Shadow lies down next to him.
"Better?" Shadow asks, and Sonic nods,
"Much."
Shadow pulls him close, their legs naturally tangling together. His hands caress Sonic's waist, his expression painfully loving.
"Hey, we'll figure this out," he reassures. Those words hit Sonic harder than he expected. Tears spring to his eyes again, though he refuses to let them fall. Shadow notices– of course he does– and he frowns.
"I know you feel helpless, but we'll get to the bottom of this. You don't have to deal with it alone. We'll tell Tails– see if he can run some tests. We'll accommodate until we solve this, alright?" Shadow promises, bundling the blue hedgehog as close as he possibly can.
Sonic's body shakes, but he nods, a small smile creeping onto his face.
"Okay," he agrees. He doesn't know if there's even a reason behind his sudden health complications, but he's tired of leaving his family in the dark. He's tired of pretending he's fine when his body is actively working against him. He cuddles into Shadow, finally letting the last bit of tension escape his body as he inhales the scent of home.
As Shadow said, they'll figure it out.
"I love you, Shads," Sonic mumbles into the white fur of his lover's chest. Shadow's hand traces senseless doodles into Sonic's waist and back, and Sonic feels the rumble in his chest as he replies, lips pressed into Sonic's damp quills.
"I love you, Sonic."