Chapter Text
Opening, they’re all in the car, Coy driving next to Will, with Anthony and Hanbon in the back seats
HANBON
Coy where are we going?
COY
I don’t know, Will where are we going?
WILL
I don’t know ummm, Anthony, where are we going.
ANTHONY
I- You made us go here, where are you taking us?
COY
The map says it’s 40 minutes away. it looks like a field and forest
WILL
I thought for today’s episode we could have fun with goats (looks directly into the camera and winks)
HANBON
Are there baby goats!
WILL
So many little baby goats.
COY
I’m gonna eat one of them.
WILL
What no your not going to eat the goats.
COY
That’s what goat meat is for.
ANTHONY
They don’t make goat meat, but they make cheese.
HANBON
Do we get to milk a goat?
WILL
All in good time.
COY
...What was that smirk you just did? that was weird.
WILL
I’m not hiding anything.
COY
Oh sure! I’m NoT HiDiNg AnYthInG.
ANTHONY
Will I swear if were doing something illegal-
HANBON
-How do you plead Will?
WILL
Ummm… and Im Will?
Play channel intro ending with title “Going to a farm episode"
Back to the car, Coy drives into a little gas station parking lot.
COY (as everyone gets out)
Okay guys you have 10 minutes, get us more water.
ANYHONY(Handheld camera walking through parking lot)
Do you think they sell alcohol here?
HANBON
I hope so.
COY(While plugging the gas into the car)
Guys I don’t know where we’re going, this is not even a bit. Wills having us go to this farm place and has a secret activity planned for us. Should we be scared?
WILL(walking around the side of the building)
Okay, I think no one can see from here. They don’t know what I’ve... they think it’s goats but I’m actually here to meet some of my online therapy friends and they’re gonna help us alleviate some of our negative energy and do a little cleansing. But, No it’s not a cult, they call it a movement.
Cut to Hanbon dancing in the mirror of the bathroom, then there’s a door noise.
HANBON(pulling the camera close to her quick)
Oh, someone else is here.
Will(walking back into the parking lot)
They’re gonna be really happy by the end of today, I trust these guys to help us.
(Cut to)ANTHONY(in front of the alcohol aisle next to a Decoy branded bottle)
AfLaac. Wait no it’s more like Aaflac.
cut to everyone getting back in the car with bottles of water.
ANTHONY
Will, Where did you go, did you even go inside?
WILL
I was trying to catch a bird, you know, practicing for chicken wrangling on the farm.
COY(starting the car)
Will is gonna exploit us to do free labor for a farm.
ANTHONY
Yeah, like rolling hay bails.
HANBON
Can you teach us to ride a horse.
COY
Can you teach us to ride a chicken?
ANTHONY
Can you teach a chicken to ride a horse?
WILL
Oh my god slow down!
Laughter all around.
Arriving at the farm.
COY
Guys, there’s a cow.
The car slows and a cow looks at them from outside the window.
WILL
What’s your name?
COY
No we can’t talk to him right now
WILL
Don’t worry we’ll be back.
(Jumping to 1 minute later)WILL
Guys, do you see that cabin? We have that cabin.
ANTHONY
What?
WILL
I got that on Airbnb.
ANTHONY
Holy s**t.
COY
No f*ckin way you rented a house.
WILL
We need a place to stay and sleep and shelter.
COY
Are we permanently moving to a farm?
HANBON
Bunch of farms.
ANTHONY
Bunch of farmers.
WILL
No it’s just for a little while but it will be life changing.
COY
That makes me uncomfortable and there’s people standing outside.
(Switch to handheld cameras throughout the group getting out of the car approaching people who will be later identified as Max and Kayla) WILL
Hey yall we’re here.
MAX
Hello everyone welcome to the ranch!
KAYLA
Thanks Will for dropping by. The cabin is all ready for everyone. Feel free to film whatever you want in the property.
ANTHONY
Will what is wrong with you we did not prepare for a road trip.
WILL
Don't worry someone’s going to come by the house to make sure everything’s okay. In the meantime let’s do a House Tour!!
They walk into the cabin.
WILL
This is the main kitchen and living rooms there’s 2 bedrooms, one has bunk beds for the three of us.
ANTHONY(walking into the bedroom)
This is like being forcefully sent to a… teen conversion summer camp.
COY
Wait, why did you get to make that joke?
ANTHONy
Oh! (starts laughing)
COY
I’m supposed to be the one with PTSD!
ANTHONY
Wait, were you sent to one?
COY
No, but it would have been funny.
(in her bedroom pointing around.) HANBON
How many things can I count that have a cow on them, painting, other painting, framed photo, towels, notebook cover, and little pillow. That’s 6.
WILL(walking in)
Do you like it?
HANBON
Hi, welcome to the moo moo room.
WILL
Um… can I get a glass of moo moo juice? (Both break into snicker.)
(In the bunk bed room)COY
Will this is cool but why did you have to keep it a secret?
ANTHONY
I thought you were going to make us go camping or something.
WILL
There’s a fire, a thing- for grilling. If you want to make burgers.
COY
I don't know if any of us know how to use that-
(Jump to Anthony outside reading the directions for the outdoor grill.)ANTHONY (turns a couple knobs)
… Its broken-
(Jump to the group walking across the farm toward a fence.)
COY
We’re going to go play with their goats.
WILL (to a goat by the fence)
Hello! Your eyes are so weird.
ANTHONY
They have square eyes because they can see 300 degrees around their body in order to defend themselves if there’s a predator.(Nerd emoji slowly fades in over his face.)
(Everyone now inside the large pen)HANBON
Awwwww… they’re so small.
COY
I could pick you up.
(Looking at 2 head butting goats.)ANTHONY
I found the fight club! Fight, Fight, Fight!
WILL(whispering into the camera)
They don’t know it yet but this is only the, the top of the iceberg for things we’re gonna do today with my special people.
COY(positioning phone in tree next to a goat)
Hey buddy, you want to do a Tik Tok with me? He’s camera shy. (Phone chaotically tumbles out of tree). Oh sh*t.
HANBON (with Anthony and fighting goats.)
How much are we gonna bet on the brown one?
ANTHONY
Remember your training! Do the upper side horn maneuver!
HANBON
I’ll give you a beer if you win.
They both laugh as Hanbon looks away, suddenly a cinematic camera shot appears looking at Hanbon in the goat pen from a distance and then getting a little closer to her as she squints at something. The camera goes to the inside of a farm house, where the blinds are quickly snapped closed and none other then Paint, the intern who was mislabeled, laughed at, and ultimately rage quit, is shown behind the window.
MAX
He’s here. They all seem comfortable.
PAINT
Finally, it’s time to get started.
Cut back to Hanbon’s real in universe handheld camera.
HANBON
…What? (Confused)
ANTHONY
What? (Questioning)
HANBON.
Oh… I thought I saw something.
ANTHONY
Oh! you have to buy the brown one a beer. I think he’s the winner.
HANBON
Wait, how old is he?
(Jump to) ANTHONY (walking up to a mini tractor near Max.)
Hey, hey Max. Can I drive the tractor?
MAX
…Yeah.
WILL(One minute later, Anthony riding the tractor around a field)
Where did you get a tractor from?!
ANTHONY
They let me have the tractor!
WILL
You look so tough.
(Cut to) HANBON(approaching and petting a horse at a fence)
Hello, your bows are so beautiful.
(Cut back to) COY
Where did everyone go? It's just me and the goats now.
Walks over to an in-ground cellar entrance.
COY
I found their haunted basement.
Suddenly there’s a thump and the cinematic cam reappears looking up at Coy from the entrance, there’s another thump and a grunt.
COY
Hey is someone down there?
There’s the sound of broken glass and Coy reaches for the handle. Suddenly Kayla from earlier pops up from the doors looking surprised,
KAYALA
Oh? Hey friend!
COY
Hey, are you okay?
KAYLA
Just doing some remodeling for our wine basement… Would you like to take some?
COY
Oh yeah!
Kayla goes back into the cellar. Coy then looks around the ground near the cellar and finds broken glass on the ground. The music tenses and then jumps back to handheld cam.
COY(To camera, holding wine bottle)
We got Alcohol!! Bunch of friends is going to be drunk tonight!
(Cut to)ANTHONY(Next to Hanbon riding a horse being led along by another ranch hand.)
Yooo!
HANBON
I'm doing it, I’m riding a horse!
COY(walking over)
Guys I got alcohol!
HANBON
What!
ATHONY
Us getting drunk on the farm?
HANBON
Yes, wait I can’t see you, go the other way horse.
COY
You're not a real horse rider. It’s a fabrication.
HANBON
Well it’s harder than driving a tractor.
ANTHONY
Wait where’s Will?
Back into the cinematic cam, cut to Will on a balcony wearing a robe on a massage table getting a massage next to Max who’s in a lawn chair.
WILL
I needed this so much.
MAX
Everyone here seems very satisfied. We’re glad the farm could serve your friends this far.
WILL
Yeah and it’s good for the video.
MAX(looking around slowly)
Your cameras aren’t on now?
WILL (pointing towards the camera on the floor)
Not now.
MAX
Do you have the DNA?
WILL
I pulled hair from their stuff, it’s in the bottle you gave me, back at the house.
MAX
Good, (pulls up a walkie talkie and whispers into it). You don’t know how important this is to us Will.
WILL
And my friends right?
MAX
Of course, happiness all around.
WILL(looking a little uncertain)
…Tomorrow morning at the bonfire, what are we going to do.
MAX
Cleanse your negative energy, bring the collective together. Continue the movement.
WILL
So…
MAX
It’s all in good time. For now enjoy the farm, enjoy your friends, enjoy the last days.
WILL
Oh okay.
Back to handheld in universe cams in the house.
HANBON
The grill is still broken but we have been given all the stuff to cook with for tonight.
COY
Is this our first time cooking on camera not for a challenge but just, for us?
HANBON
No time limits or challenges. Just pasta
COY
That’s so romantic.
ANTHONY(off camera)
What the f*ck Coy. (While Hanbon holds a spatula in a self defense position.)
COY
Should I pour the wine into the pasta? I think the Italians do that.
HANBON
No, the Italians drink it while cooking.
(Jump to) COY(whispering closely into the microphone)
Welcome back to cooking with friends. I am your host Coy Piso and tonight I’m joined by- (holds the mic out to Hanbon)
HANBON
Are you doing ASMR?
COY
And I’m joined by Hanbon. Tonight we're making pasta. This kind of pasta requires… a special kind of artistry-
The smoke alarm starts going off. Anthony runs into frame.
ANTHONY (waving a towel at the ceiling)
WHAT DID YOU DO!!
HANBON
Why is it screaming!??
Sudden jump to several minutes later,
WILL(approaching the house)
I hope everyone’s excited. (Walks into the house).
ANTHONY
Dude where have you been for like, an hour.
WILL
I’ve been talking to the farmers and people and animals and…
ANTHONY
Wha- where?
WILL
Look outside the window.
COY
What did you do?
ANTHONY (opening the window curtains. Max, Kayla, and several farmers stand outside with guitars.
HANBON
No way! I love guitars!
WILL
See it’s not illegal or unethical sh*t. It’s music.
COY
I don’t think you actually did anything illegal, you're just pushing the bit.
ANTHONY
Yeah you're failing to be nonchalant.
HANBON(going out the door)
I’m going to go play guitar with them.
WILL
Wait for me!
Jump to everyone outside.
MAX
How’s everyone doing! (Everyone cheers) Let's close the night with some music. (He starts playing the guitar which starts a montage of guitar playing with the farmers, Hanbon plays some guitar, Coy opens the bottle of wine, everyone takes turns with it, they eat the pasta bowls, general camaraderie as the stars appear in the sky. It ends with everyone walking back inside. But Max appears at the doorway.)
MAX
Remember yall, tomorrow morning at 7:00PM sharp, meet at the bonfire for the last activity before you leave tomorrow morning.
HANBON
Please give us a hint what it is.
MAX
Just know you're gonna love it, they’re ready Will?
WILL
Oh yeah they’re ready.
MAX
Good night bunch of friends.
(Jump to) ANTHONY (In the bunk room)
Uuuhh we’re going to bed now.
COY
We’ve never done a sleep over thing like this before. It’s actually kind of fun
WILL
Oh yeah and Neal Mohan. Bunch of farmers still wants to ask you a question.
ANTHONY
Oh is that who we are now?
WILL
Message us at [email protected] our question awaits you.
ANTHONY
Yeah, good night yall. (Kisses the camera) That was weird I’m sorry.
Cut to black but then, the final cinematic camera opens on Anthony while he’s in the bed, eyes open sweating. He carefully and quietly gets up, walks out of the room. Washes his face in the bathroom sink, but as he’s walking out he sees a little gap in the wall tile, a small black circular object with a blinking light is in the gap, a bug/camera. Anthony wide eyed scrambles back to the room. Coy and Will are asleep. He doesn’t know what to do but he looks at the wall clock. It also has the same small object. He pulls on it and comes loose, with a red and green wire connecting it to the inside of the wall. Anthony decides to shake Will awake.
ANTHONY
Will. Will!
WILL
What?… Oh my god Anthony what are you-
ANTHONY
The house is bugged.
WILL
Bugs?
ANTHONY
We’re being watched. Who are these people?
WILL
Aww they didn't tell me about that.
ANTHONY
Will I’m so f*cking serious what is going on?
WILL
Can we please wait until tommorow?
ANTHONY
Why?! What are they doing tomorrow? What happens tomorrow?!
COY(walking up)
Anthony what are you doing?
ANTHONY
There’s a bug! (He rips it out of the clock and brings it down) Will Who Are These People?!
WILL
Okay Okay! I brought y'all here to do traditional healing methods with some people I met online!
COY
Will what the f*ck?
WILL
It’s not a cult, it’s a healing camp. These people said they would help us.
Suddenly there a scream coming from across the house.
ANTHONY(running across the house)
HANBON!! (He bursts through her door. She’s sitting up in bed.) what happened.
HANBON
Oh my god he’s here Anthony, paint!
ANTHONY
What! Who’s here!?!
HANBON
Paint!
COY(walking in)
Like kid named paint?
HANBON
Our ex-intern. I saw him yesterday in a window.
ANTHONY
No!… are you sure?
HANBON
It wasn't just a nightmare. He was there earlier. I just remembered.
COY
Is this a bad time to say I got a bad feeling being around the creepy wine cellar, like there were weird sounds.
ANTHONY
Coy if your f*cking with me…
COY
I’m not f*cking with you.
WILL
I’m sorry guys, I don’t know what they’re going to do I was just trying to help us, it was such a good place for a video.
HANBON
What?
ANTHONY
Forget the video! Wills gonna get us scarified to a cult.
COY
We need to leave, what time is it?
All of a sudden, the sound of Hanbons phone alarm to wake up goes off, reading 6:30 AM. Terrifying string music sounds.
HANBON
Oh no. It’s tomorrow.
ANTHONY
Oh my god leave your stuff we need to get to the car.
COY(running around)
I need my- okay there they are, the keys!
WILL
They’re gonna come for us, Hanbon come on!
The 4 run outside to the car, Coy starts the car.
COY
Okay is everyone-
ANTHONY
Go Go!
Coy starts driving into the dirt road, Looking every which way in the faint rising sunlight.
COY
Ohmigodohmigod someone’s there.
The car pulls up to a wooden bar gate. Max and Kayla appear on either side of the car.
MAX
Will. Where are you going?
KAYLA
Your friends weren’t supposed to leave yet.
Will gets out of the car.
COY(hissing whispering)
What the f*ck are you doing!
Will(still holding onto the door)
Max im really sorry but we have a creator event to go to. We made a scheduling mistake. We really have to go.
Hanbon turns around and looks out the back of the car. A dozen farm hands and paint stand a ways away from the car.
KAYLA
Sorry Will, but you promised we would do this.
WILL
Well come back. It’s really important.
KAYLA (walking toward his door)
Will, listen.
WILL
Aah nope! (He goes back into the car) GO!
Kayla grabs the car door while he tries to close it reaches at him.
Coy puts his hand down onto the horn and accelerates forward. He crashes the car through the wooden bar, Will's door hits the side of the gate pole and gets ripped off.
COY
HOLY SH*T MY DOOR!!
HANBON
There’s a bunch of people out there!-
Suddenly a large pipe clamp crashes/flies through the back window into the trunk.
ANTHONY
Just GO!!
WILL(looking out at the place where there’s no door)
AAAAAAHH!!
Coy tries to go quickly around a turn but the car spins out and drives into a tree, after the crash, slow shots, disoriented, audio is muffled and high pitched ringing or "tinnitus" effect happens. The other farmers get there and pull the car doors open, pulling the struggling friends out of the car and binding them with zip ties as they’re pulled out of the car. The camera goes jerky as they’re each held and walked back, to the farm, down to the cellar, and get their ties cut right before being pushed into a room barred off with cage walls. It ends with them all laying on the floor. A shadow looms over them and a man’s voice who sounds maybe a little like the high pitched voice of Daniel Thrasher says “well, who do we have here”? Orchestral hit and Cut to black. Text, “To Be Continued”