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Lupin bar was Dazai Osamu’s favourite place on earth. He could go there to drink until he forgot all his senses- till he lost the current him to who he once was.
And he was doing just that; he sat at the familiar counter, a glass of whiskey in his hands and empty ones surrounding him. His mind felt like a void as he stared at the clock. 2:45am, he was surprised the bartender hadn’t cut him off at this point.
The bar was empty for the most part, you could only hear the faint sound of the nightlife bustling on outside.
Footsteps entered the room; Dazai looked up with a slight smile to see Oda Sakunosuke- his best friend.
“Odasakuuu! How are you!”
He heard a sigh escape the older as he sat down next to the brunette and ordered a whiskey on the rocks- the same as the younger. “How many drinks have you had, Dazai?”
Dazai hummed to himself, trying to figure out a number. He started pointing at each glass and counting them quietly to himself. “1..2…3…4..5..8…47..2…9”. He paused for a second. “..however many glasses that is.” He looked up with a slight smile. As the bartender came back, Oda ordered a water for the younger to wash away the alcohol with.
“Ango called, he said he will be a bit late- he had some business.” Odasaku stated.
Dazai huffed. “He’s always late! Always busy!” He spoke as he flailed his hands around, Oda watching with a blank stare as he watched the younger rant.
“How has work been treating you lately?” The redhead questioned, trying to change the subject.
“Kunakida has been bossy as always; he says I need to stop being lazy and actually do my work! I’ll have him know that I am a very good worker!…” The bartender finally brought out his drink, placing it in front of Dazai. He clinked the glass with his fingernails, uninterested in the simple water. “For some reason, the president instated a stupid truce with the mafia.”
“I’m sure he had a reason to do so. Aren’t both organisations trying to defeat the guild?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to see that stupid rat Mori- or Chuuya, his height annoys me. And Kouyou is just flat out mean! She bullies me.” He laughed maniacally to himself like something was possessing him. “Though, Kunakida did find out I used to be in the mafia the other day. It was entertaining!” Dazai looked up at him. “How has your work been?”
Odasaku thought for a moment. “It’s been normal, I’ve been running errands like always. It wouldn’t be of any interest to you, Dazai.”
“At least you don’t have to do paperwork! I’m practically stuck at a desk all day now.”
Footsteps interrupted the conversation as a briefcase was placed on the bench to the left of Dazai. “Angooo! You took your time!” Dazai strangled him into a hug with his left arm. The man with glasses looked towards the cups that sat in front of Dazai.
“How many drinks have you had?”
“I dunno, ask Odasaku.” He clinked the still full water glass in front of him again before he picked it up to take a small sip. Instantly making a disgusted face.
Ango’s brow furrowed slightly before he sat down next to the 22-year-old.
Dazai turned back to Odasaku. “You really are lucky; getting to run errands sounds fun.” He said pouting.
“They're repetitive; you would find them too boring.”
“You know what else is boring and repetitive? Paperwork!”
“If you did your paperwork, then you would probably be assigned to more investigations.” Ango added, scolding the youngest.
“But Angooooo, it’s not fun. You’re no fun.” He pouted, crossing his arms.
“Odasaku! Tell him to stop bullying me!”
“Dazai-“
“He’s right. Also, he isn’t bullying you.”
“You're meant to side with me!” Dazai complained like an immature 15-year-old, pouting.
“Dazai-“
“Y’know Ango, I think you should try and do my job! It is very tiring!”
“He probably does more paperwork than you, Dazai.”
“Dazai!” Ango snapped.
The younger turned to him. “What?”
“You know he’s not here, right?” He said with a slight look of concern.
“Who’s not here?” He turned back to the redhead. “I think he’s going crazy. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about anymore.” His head fell slightly to the table as he rested it in his arms, he stared at the empty glasses in front of him.
Clink.
Silence enveloped the room.
“Hey, Odasaku?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you proud of me?”
Clink.
The older man didn’t respond. Dazai turned to look at him, trying to find an answer behind his eyes.
“Are you proud of me for leaving the mafia? For joining the light?”
He still didn’t respond, blood started pooling out of his chest. Dazai’s eyes widened. “Odasaku… you’re bleeding.” The older looked down towards his chest; a slight smile filled his face. “I’m not here Dazai.”
Dazai stood up, grasping for Odasaku in horror. “You’re bleeding! Let me help.” Memories flooded through his mind, infecting his world.
The older man met his eyes, a look of acceptance filling his features. “Please don’t die..” His voice cracked. “Please tell me you’re proud of me!” He spoke through sudden slight sobs. Odasaku's hand started to crumble into dust, his heart hollowing out as his eyes disappeared. He was gone before Dazai could even attempt to speak again.
He looked down at his own hands. Blood. Blood covered them, dripping down to the floor, he fell backwards. The chair hitting the floor behind him as a cry escaped his mouth. “Please! Don’t die-“ Ango’s hand rested on his shoulder, he pulled him up.
Confusion filled his face. “Ango-“
“You need to accept he’s dead Dazai, it’s been 4 years.”
A cry escaped his mouth slightly as he spoke again, his voice cracking. “Is he proud of me?-“
Ango took a moment to respond, “He would be, you left the mafia. You're saving people.” Dazai saw everything around him becoming blurry, his eyes welling up. “You’re drunk; you need to go home now.”
Dazai looked back at his hands, blood still covered them. “Why did you do that Ango? Why did you betray us?”
Ango didn’t respond.
Dazai turned back to where Odasaku sat moments ago, inside the glass sitting at his seat was a small, delicate blue flower. It felt like confrontation. Like it was telling him to wake up. But he didn’t want to. He desperately wanted everything to be how it used to be, he wanted to laugh with Odasaku while Ango scolded them; he wanted to make fun of Ango for his tomato juice again, while Odasaku shook his head with a smile.
A forget-me-not still sat in the glass, no matter how hard he stared. It didn’t disappear.
“Please-“ His voice cracked.