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Katsuki thinks if Hitoshi is going to avoid his gaze one more time, he's going to blow something up and it's not going to be pretty.
It's going to earn him a stint in prison, for property damage for sure and possibly even murder, and he's not even going to mind.
Because Hitoshi is avoiding him.
Hitoshi kissed him and now he's avoiding him as if his life depends on it and Katsuki likes to cling to the anger instead of all of the hurt inside of him because how dare Hitoshi do this to him.
How dare Hitoshi kiss him and now act as if it doesn't matter at all and never happened in the first place. Katsuki is going to rip his wobbly spine out when he gets his hands on him and that he will is out of the question.
Because they all live in the dorms. There is only so far Hitoshi can run and Katsuki has spent enough time with him to know all his usual haunts, so he's going to find him sooner or later, no matter how hard Hitoshi tries to avoid him.
And trying he is, that's for damn sure.
Still, Katsuki is not yet desperate enough to tear through the whole school because he has a plan and he can be patient, dammit.
He was just trying to give Hitoshi one last chance to come to him but now that Hitoshi squirreled himself away like the damn coward he clearly is, Katsuki is left with nothing to do but break into his room and wait for him there.
Hitoshi might not sleep, but he's a creature of comfort and he holes himself up in his room often enough that Katsuki knows he's going to be able to ambush him there.
Katsuki doesn't even feel bad about it when he tries the handle before committing an actual crime and it turns out Hitoshi doesn't even lock his door. He's just asking people to come in like that, Katsuki thinks, and makes himself comfortable on Hitoshi's bed, following the silent invitation.
And he doesn't even have to wait that long, because it feels as if he just got comfortable when the door opens and the elusive asshole himself steps into the room and freezes right there in the doorway when his gaze falls on Katsuki.
"Run one more time and I'll fucking kill you," Katsuki pleasantly informs him, slowly sitting up on the bed, his gaze fixed on Hitoshi and his every muscle coiled to chase after him.
Hitoshi honest to god debates running away again, Katsuki can fucking see it on his face, but in the end he lets out a defeated sigh and steps into the room, closing the door behind himself.
"Wise decision," Katsuki remarks and Hitoshi slumps into his chair at the desk, a look of absolute defeat on his face.
"What do you want, Bakugou?" he asks and well.
Doesn't that sting more than Katsuki wants to admit?
He's not going to let Hitoshi know about that, though, because he no longer knows where he's standing with him and Katsuki would rather die than admit to being hurt by him if he means nothing to the idiot and so he schools his face into something much more hostile than hurt.
"Oh no, we're not going to do this, you absolute fucker. You kissed me. You kissed me first. And now you act as if it didn't mean anything? That's not going to happen."
Hitoshi stares off into nothing for a few moments before he scrubs a hand over his face.
"Maybe it didn't mean anything. Did you ever consider that?" he wants to know and Katsuki bares his teeth at him because how dare he.
How dare he pretend that it meant nothing when it meant everything and they both know it.
Katsuki still remembers the almost desperate sound he swallowed straight from Hitoshi's lips. He still remembers how his hands were fisted in Katsuki's shirt, reluctant to let go even after the kiss broke and Katsuki had been in the same boat.
It was mutual—it is mutual—and it means something.
Katsuki bites back his instinctual curse because the way Hitoshi is already curling in on himself makes him look like a beaten down, wet kitten and Katsuki is really not looking to hurt him further but goddamit.
They have to talk about it.
"It's okay if you don't want anyone to know. It's okay if you don't want anyone's noses in this," Katsuki says because he would be fine with that, he doesn't want any noisy opinions in their thing either but Hitoshi presses his lips together. "Lie to them if you must, but don't lie to me."
It's a plea more than anything, really, and Katsuki is almost ashamed of the way he's basically begging, but he just doesn't get it.
Hitoshi kissed him first, after weeks and weeks of dancing around each other and even if for whatever reason it turns out that Hitoshi doesn't like him romantically then that still makes them friends.
And being treated like this from someone he considered his friend really fucking hurts, Katsuki has found, so he damn well wants an answer.
He needs an answer.
Hitoshi simply will have to clarify this whole situation because Katsuki is tired of being in this limbo.
"You don't get it, Katsuki," Hitoshi hisses out and okay, back to a given name basis, that's good at least, even if the rest of the statement only pisses Katsuki off more.
"You're right, I don't fucking get it, because you won't explain yourself. You won't even talk to me!"
"It's because—it's—you don't—"
"Use your goddamn fucking words, Hitoshi," Katsuki interrupts him when it becomes apparent that he's going to stammer and stutter his way through another minute or two and finally, finally, some of that fire Katsuki was missing blazes in his eyes.
"I don't get to keep good things!" he almost yells out and his words leave a stunned silence behind because for a moment, Katsuki doesn't know what to say.
"I'm a good thing?" is what finally makes it out of his mouth, more vulnerable and quiet than he would like and Hitoshi jerks his head to the side, working his jaw while he tries his damn best to avoid even looking in Katsuki's general direction.
"Hitoshi," Katsuki says, more demanding this time because what the hell even. "I'm a good thing?"
Hitoshi very visibly grinds his teeth together and Katsuki's heart squeezes inside of his chest in a way he came to associate with a heart problem but before he can panic, Hitoshi finally nods.
"You are. You will be. Would be. I don't know, Kats, it's just—I don't ever get to keep a good thing and if I do, then it comes at a cost."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Katsuki blurts out because he doesn't understand. "You're still living with Aizawa and Yamada, right? Isn't that a good thing?"
Something like pure hate flashes over Hitoshi's face, closely followed by disgust and Hitoshi drops his gaze again.
"I am and it is, it's just—" Hitoshi lets out a rough breath. "This is going to make me sound like the worst person on the planet but—they took in Eri a month after they took in me."
"So?" Katsuki asks, because he doesn't get it and it earns him a hateful look from Hitoshi.
"So that means I got people caring for me, for just me, for a grand total of thirty days before I had to share that again."
Okay, yeah, Katsuki can see how that would suck. He knows enough about Hitoshi's story to realise that two guardians, who want him around, who care for him, are a novelty for Hitoshi and to have that for only a month before then having to share that attention, that love again—
"And don't even start," Hitoshi hisses out. "I know how that sounds. I know they can love us both and they are doing it, and doing it well at that, but—"
"It still sucks," Katsuki finishes for him, not even arguing because he understands that point.
What he doesn't understand is—
"It's not as if you're going to have to share me."
"Right, yeah," Hitoshi bitterly says and pushes a hand through his hair. "I'll have you. At least until you realise that I'm a little bitch, and depressed, and that I need my downtime. I have you until you realise that I'm a fucking nutjob who can't stand touch some days, who doesn't sleep, who has panic attacks when I have to use my quirk too much, who has panic attacks period. You'll see any of that and you'll wisen up and you will leave and I will have had you for a grand total of however many days I managed to fool you and then it'll be worse."
"Because you know what you had and what you lost," Katsuki finishes for him in a mutter and Hitoshi nods.
"So, yeah. I'm running. Because I never wanted to have that conversation."
"Shouldn't have kissed me then, fucker," Katsuki gives back and gets up from the bed, stalking over to Hitoshi and caging him in by placing his hands on the armrests. "Now listen to me," he demands and waits until Hitoshi finally meets his gaze. "I know all of that already."
"But you don't understand," Hitoshi tries to argue and Katsuki cuts him off with a sound that's not unlike a growl.
"I do. I do understand. Because we're friends first and I’ve been there when you had a panic attack and you did already cut me too deep with one of your scathing comments and you did blow me off for previously established hang-outs in favour of being alone and I'm still here, aren't I?"
"That's—different," Hitoshi gives back but he doesn't sound too sure himself anymore.
"How's that? How is that different?" Katsuki demands to know and watches Hitoshi open his mouth several times without a word ever making it out. "And while we're on it, it's not as if I'm all sun and roses either. I'm rude. I've yelled at you and called you every name under the sun. I’ve blown you off for training more than once already. I threaten you with my quirk and I nearly blew you up when you touched my neck. We're both fucked, so what?"
"You—you'll realise I'm too much," Hitoshi mutters, his eyes big and Katsuki rolls his eyes.
"And what if you realise I'm too much?" he shoots back and watches Hitoshi frown.
"You don't get it, Katsuki, I don't get to keep good things."
"I think we've just established that I'm an okay thing at best," Katsuki gives back, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "Maybe even just a neutral thing."
"It doesn't work like that, not when it makes me happy," Hitoshi says and then blushes as if he didn't realise those words were leaving his mouth.
"Okay, but if there's something that makes me happy then I'll fight literal death itself to keep it and you're going to make me happy, Hitoshi."
It's more honest than he likes to be, reveals more about his feelings than he's comfortable with but it's worth it for the way Hitoshi's eyes go big.
And then his eyes start to water and Katsuki curses himself.
"You mean it?" Hitoshi weakly asks, his voice all shaky and Katsuki can do nothing but nod.
"You know I fucking do. As if I'm going to let anyone but us ruin this."
And it's true, too. This is theirs and if it's supposed to go up in flames then because they both decide to set fire to it and for no other reason.
Everyone else can fuck right off and the same goes for Hitoshi's insecurities. Doubly so, even.
"Us, huh?" Hitoshi whispers and reaches out to gingerly take the hem of Katsuki's sleeve. "You sure?"
"You were the one running, so you better be sure," Katsuki gives back and bridges Hitoshi's hesitation by reaching out and tangling their fingers together.
Hitoshi looks at him for long, long moments, clearly thinking things over before he eventually gives the tiniest of nods and then he leans up to kiss Katsuki. Again.
"If you run one more time, I'll kill you for real," is the first thing out of Katsuki's mouth when they part, because he's sick and tired of being avoided but Hitoshi only gives him a crooked smile.
"No more running," he promises and squeezes Katsuki's hand.
"Good."