Archive of Our Own

When Chloe got back to the dorm room that she shared with her girlfriend, Red was already back from her classes, sitting on her bed. She took off her headphones as soon as she saw Chloe enter the room and grinned.

"Hey, Princess. How was your day?"

Chloe smiled back at her, setting her bag down. "Pretty good! We got assigned a project in history that I actually think is gonna be fun."

Red gave Chloe a disbelieving look and then scoffed. "You must be the only student attending Auradon Prep that gets excited over a history project. What is it, anyway?"

"We have to choose three childhood memories that influenced us and made us who we are today." Chloe explained, flopping down on her bed.

Something flickered in Red's eyes at that, and her whole demeanour changed. "Oh..." She breathed out the syllable shakily, gaze dropping to the floor. And then, "I'm glad I'm not in that class. I'd definitely fail that assignment."

Chloe sat back up. "Why?"

Red let out a dry laugh. "I don't have any memories I could talk about that wouldn't get me sent right to the counsellor's office."

Chloe flinched as though she had actually been hit. Right. Red's childhood abuse.

Growing up with the Queen Of Hearts as a mother had been very traumatic for Red, and although Chloe didn't know much because Red rarely talked about, what she did know was that it was far from easy and still affected Red even now— She flinched whenever someone raised their voice or hand, always apologised for things that were far from her fault, and still had nightmares about her childhood to this day.

"You can't think of three happy childhood memories?" Chloe asked softly.

Red lifted her gaze from the floor tearfully. "Three? I can't think of one."

Chloe felt a deep pain inside of her chest after hearing those words from her girlfriend. "Red..." She started.

She got off her bed, making her way over to Red's, and gently sat down, putting an arm around Red. "I'm sorry."

Red shrugged. "I don't even remember much of my childhood, because I tried to block it out. I managed to do that with some of it, but most of it is still...there. I don't really remember my childhood, just...surviving it."

Chloe pressed a soft kiss to Red's temple. "You're so strong, baby."

Red turned away. "I...I'm sorry. I wish I could talk about it more, but..."

Chloe shook her head, reaching over to stroke Red's hair. "Hey, it's okay. I know this isn't easy for you."

Red sighed. "I mean...there's an easier way. You can know about my past without me telling you, if you want."

Chloe frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

"Come to Wonderland with me and you'll see," Red answered Chloe's silent question.

"Wonderland?" Chloe echoed. "How...?"

Red took Chloe's hand and pulled her up off the bed. "Just trust me on this. I have an idea."

And Chloe nodded. "If you say so..."

❀❀❀

"Red...this is just a mirror..."

Red had them standing in her bedroom in Wonderland, facing a huge, gold mirror on the wall that was encrusted with small rubies around the edges. There was a plaque at the top with Red's name on it, and it looked important, but Chloe's confusion was evident.

"I know that, Princess," Red laughed, "But it's not your typical mirror. It's called a Memory Mirror. Remember the Looking Glass? It's like that, but...it shows somebody's past. Nobody really gets a chance to look in someone else's mirror unless the person gives them their blessing. So...I want you to understand, Chloe. I'll warn you though, what you're going to see won't exactly be pretty."

Chloe gave her a confused look. "So I'm going to actually see your past?"

Red nodded. "It's easier if you're shown it rather than told it. If you still want to, that is?"

Chloe looked down at the mirror again, running her fingers over it. "Yeah, as long as you don't mind me seeing this."

Red nudged Chloe, rolling her eyes. "Why else would I give you my blessing?" Then her playful expression faded. "So uh, I'll be here when you're done. All you need to do is step inside whenever you're ready. Just...remember that you can't be seen by anyone in the vision. And you can't change anything. Oh, and you don't have to look through every single memory you see! There's going to be a lot of memories, so there's no need to think you need to sit through every one of them, or anything."

Red walked back over to her bed and sat down, watching Chloe.

On the list of the most unusual things Chloe had ever done, this was right up there with using the pocketwatch to go back in time. Where all Wonderlandian inventions this...unique?

With a deep breath, she balled her hands into fists, trying to push away the anticipation she felt, and took a step forward into the mirror.

Instinctively, she shut her eyes, expecting to feel herself falling or flying or something of the sort, like when she entered The Rabbit Hole, but it was nothing like that, her feet met solid ground straight away. Tentatively, she opened her eyes and saw that she was in a hallway. There were doors all around her, and she tilted her head to the side. Was she supposed to open them?

She slowly walked over to one and put her hand on the doorknob. On the door was a number engrained on it, a number four. Maybe the doors contained Red's memories? Figuring that must be the case, she shakily exhaled and opened it.

She was instantly hit with a vision, blurry and hazy at the start, but it slowly took shape, and she could see two figures. The first was a tiny child, probably no more than four years old, and Chloe knew immediately that it was Red. Was that what the number on the door meant? That Red was four years old in this memory?

And then there was another figure, Bridget, who looked...so different from the way she did now. She was far from the bubbly queen she was today, no, she looked so...cold.

Chloe's attention was brought back to tiny Red when she took a deep breath, murmured something to herself that Chloe couldn't properly hear, and rushed over to throw her arms around Bridget.

"Good morning Mommy!" She chirped.

Bridget looked down at her, eyes widening, and pushed Red off with a hand, scoffing. "Red, what did I tell you about distracting me when I'm busy? Go back to your room at once."

And just like that, she walked away and left Red alone, looking smaller than ever, eyes brimming with tears.

And so were Chloe's. Red...she was so little, and Bridget was just so heartless! How could she shove her own daughter off her like that without batting an eyelid?

If this was the first of the memories, one where Red was only a toddler, Chloe wondered how she was going to stand seeing them all inevitably get worse as Red aged.

Taking a step back, she slammed the door shut and turned across the hall to the next door, which once again had a number four on it. Weakly, Chloe reached forward, twisting the doorknob, and the memory took place.

Red was standing in a corridor in her pyjamas, pacing up and down outside a room, clutching a black cat plushie. Chloe knew that Red still had it to this day, it always sat on her pillow, and it was held together by extra thread and stitching, but any time the topic of it was brought up she said she only held onto it for the sake of nostalgia, that she didn't need it or care about it all that much.

But seeing four year old Red cling onto it as though it was her only lifeline, Chloe wondered whether or not Red had been entirely honest about that.

There was a noise in the background of the vision, it sounded like rain hitting the windows, and then there was a loud bang and a flash. A thunderstorm, Chloe realised, and Red let out a whine at the noise, bringing a hand up to cover her ears.

She was terrified. And then, the realisation hit Chloe: The room Red was pacing outside must be Bridget's room. Red wanted to knock on the door and ask for comfort because she was scared, but what she was just as scared of was angering her Mom.

Finally, Chloe watched as Red drew in a breath and raised a fist, knocking on the door before she could stop herself. She gripped her plushie tightly, holding her breath, until the door finally opened.

Bridget looked her daughter up and down, eye raking over her. "What are you doing here at this hour of the night, Red?"

"I-I'm scared, Mommy..." Red admitted in a tiny, broken voice.

Bridget threw her hands up as though in dismay. "Of course you are! I've never seen you show anything but weakness! You're scared of absolutely everything, aren't you? You're pathetic, a sorry excuse for the Princess Of Wonderland. You know I have that important meeting tomorrow and yet you show up at my door in the middle of the night and wake me up!?"

Red let out a tiny whine, taking a step back. "I-I'm sorry Mommy, I—"

"Go and burden someone else!"

And then the door was slammed in Red's face.

Red stood for a moment, numb, before she defeatedly slid down against the wall, tucking her knees up to her chest and clutching her plushie tighter still.

Chloe didn't know if that meant the vision was over or not, but she couldn't take anymore. She stepped out of the doorway, angrily slamming it shut, her nails digging into her palms.

If they hadn't fixed the timeline and Bridget was still this Bridget, Chloe would have ran right back to Wonderland right now and probably done something that could have gotten her banished to the Isle Of The Lost. How dare Bridget turn away her daughter when she was shaking and terrified?

No wonder Red still hated thunderstorms even now, they were something she had been afraid of as a kid, and nobody had ever supported her to get her through that fear. Nobody had ever held her or told her it was okay.

Chloe sighed, walking over to the next door, which told her that Red was five years old in this memory. She turned the doorknob with a shaky hand and saw that this time, Red was crouched outside, against a wall of the Wonderland castle, next to a familiar cat.

Chessy.

"You really need to be careful sneaking out," Chessy warned her, "You don't want a repeat of last time—you were in the dungeon for days after that escapade."

Chloe almost choked on thin air.

What.

Dungeon?

For days?

That wasn't turning a child away when she hugged you, or was shaking during a thunderstorm, that was illegal. Red had been locked in a dungeon? All for sneaking out to play with a cat?

"If your mother sees you it won't go down well." Chessy went on, "Trust me, I love having someone to cause mischeif with, but I'd rather know you're in one piece."

Red shook her head, beaming proudly. "It's okay! Now that I have my secret exit Mommy is never going to know!" She pointed up at the ivy and brambles that scaled the brick wall, reaching all the way up to a window that Chloe guessed was to Red's bedroom.

"Yeah," Chessy replied, "But is it worth it! Getting your hands all cut up like that?"

Chloe looked down at Red's hands and gasped. They were covered in scrapes and scratches and bleeding all over. Red was only five, Chloe was sure that she would have bawled her eyes out if she got a paper cut at that age. How was Red not sobbing?

Red only shrugged, wiping her hands in the grass. "Anything is worth it to have a friend! I don't mind if I get cut a little as long as I'm not lonely."

Fuck.

Chloe wanted nothing more than to run forward, hold little Red in her arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

But it wasn't  going to be okay, not for many more years, because Chloe still had way more memories to endure seeing.

She stepped out, shutting the door behind her, and turned over to the next one.

Another memory of Red aged five, according to the door, which Chloe opened with a trembling hand. Red was sixteen now, did she have to go through eleven heartbreaking years of memories like these ones? She had seen three and was beginning to wonder how much more she could take.

She had always known that Red was strong, she told her that all the time too, but she didn't know that this was how strong Red really was. She had put up with so, so much of this.

Chloe was met with a vision of Red playing, running through a courtyard, laughing and giggling. Chloe felt sick to her stomach, knowing that Red's happiness obviously wasn't going to last, and something badly was right around the corner.

And— there it was. Running too fast, Red hit the ground. A tiny noise came from her mouth, and she instantly brought a grazed hand up to cover it and smother the noise.

Both of her knees were scraped, and Chloe could see that Red was in obvious pain, but rather than crying, the first thing she did was look around and make sure that nobody saw her.

She was afraid to be seen crying, and the realisation was like a sharp stab to Chloe's chest.

Red scrambled to her feet, hurrying over to her secret exit to her room, and began to hurriedly climb up the tangled ivy and brambles, only cutting her hands up more. She let out tiny squeaks of pain as she went, and Chloe felt as though her heart was shattering.

The vision shifted, and then Chloe was standing in Red's room, watching as she clutched her cat plushie with one hand and used the other to put bandaids on her scratches, crying as she did so. Red hadn't even let herself cry until she knew she was safe in her own room, because she didn't want her mother to see or think she was weak.

Tears pricking at her eyes, Chloe quietly stepped back and closed the door, numb. Poor Red. She was so tiny and vulnerable, and she didn't know what to do about it. She just tried to hide it out of fear.

The next door, aged six, and Chloe opened it with a sigh.

Red was sitting at a table, a drink in her hand. The glass was huge, and obviously heavy for her. She lifted it up to drink some, but as she tilted it to bring it to her lips, she spilled it, all down her shirt and onto the table.

Bridget, who had been sitting there too, gasped. "Oh you clumsy little brat!" She practically hissed, snatching the glass out of Red's hands. "Hearts, the day I see you do something properly for once will be an absolute miracle! Why did you do that?"

"I— I didn't m-mean to!" Red stammered, holding back tears.

"Don't you dare start crying, you whiny little menace, or I'll give you something to cry about! Go to your room right now and clean yourself up!" She snarled.

Chloe couldn't let herself see any more. She backed away and shut the door with a heavy slam, her heart aching.

It was a drink. Hadn't every child spilled a drink at that age? It wasn't a big deal! Why was Bridget so heartless...?

Chloe turned to the next door, Red was aged six in this memory. Chloe didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She weakly opened the door and saw Red sitting up in her bed, holding her cat plushie against her chest.

"It's not real," She was whispering, "It was a dream. She's not here, it was a dream. She didn't hit you, it was a— a dre—" And then Red's voice cracked and she burst into tears, crying her tiny little eyes out.

"I can't go and bother Mom..." She whispered to herself between sobs, "I need to stop being so weak. Only weak children have nightmares..."

Chloe immediately knew that those weren't Red's words, they were Bridget's. This wasn't the first time Red had a nightmare, and she obviously knew that asking for help wasn't going to end well.

So she brought her knees up to her chest, curling into herself.

"I wish I could just disappear..." Came Red's voice in a broken murmur.

Chloe had to walk away and shut the door over. She couldn't watch and look at anymore of this, knowing she was helpless and couldn't do anything about the pain young Red was in.

She walked across the hall to the next door, another one of six year old Red, and turned the knob to see Red standing in a kitchen. She was standing on her tiptoes, trying to reach a jar of cookies. She pulled it towards her, slowly, carefully—

But not carefully enough, because the jar hit the floor and smashed into smithereens.

Chloe immediately saw the panic and fear on Red's face.

"What was that!?" A voice demanded from down the hall.

Red squeaked, getting to her knees and trying to scoop up the shards of glass, cutting her hands in the process, but that was clearly of no importance to her, clearly what mattered the most to her was covering her tracks before Bridget saw.

And she was too late. Bridget stepped into the kitchen, and it was easy to see that she was absolutely furious.

"What did you think you were doing!?" Bridget demanded, storming over to Red, who edged backwards, pressing her back against the refrigerator.

"I— I'm sorry! I was hungry and I—"

"You greedy little brat!" Bridget snapped, lifting a hand and hitting Red across the face. "Not only do you go trying to eat more food like a glutton, you try sneaking around behind my back! You disgusting little liar!"

"I'm sorry!" Red sobbed, "I'll never do it again, I promise, I—"

Bridget brought up another hand to Red's face and Chloe turned her back, slamming the door shut. She got the gist of things, she knew what would happen next, she didn't need to see it. She couldn't see it, she didn't want to see it.

Heading to the next door, Red aged seven this time, Chloe took a deep breath. As soon as she opened she was instantly struck with a memory that was colourful and loud, it looked like a party of sorts. Chloe instantly saw Red standing with another boy, both of them holding plates of cake.

"It's so good!" The boy squealed, taking another bite.

"I know!" Red agreed, her mouth full of the cake, and Chloe felt like a thorn pricked her in the heart. Poor tiny Red was blissfully unaware of the fact that, for whatever reason, the happiness she felt now wasn't going to last long.

Just as thought entered her head, the vision shifted, and Red was back in the castle, Bridget next to her.

"You embarrassed me tonight." Her voice was so harsh and cold that it almost seemed worse than if she had shouted.

Red's eyes were wide. "I— what? I don't know what you mean!"

"Of course you don't, you never do!" Bridget snapped. "That cake. You ate far too much of it— have you any idea how greedy that looked? The only reason I didn't say anything was because it would have drawn even more attention to the situation."

Red shrank into herself. "Oh." She murmured. "I thought it was okay if it was just one slice."

Bridget scoffed. "It was one slice too many. Every time I think I can't possibly be more humiliated to have you as a daughter you go and prove me wrong."

Red flinched as though she had been hit. "I— I'm sorry!"

Bridget narrowed her eyes. "I should hope that you are. You made a spectacle of yourelf, stuffing your face as though you had never been fed. Why did you take that cake? You should have known better."

Red shrank back. "I— one of the grown ups g-gave it to me. I thought it would be okay if it was only one slice."

"Well you should have known better than to take it. Honestly, have you got no self-control at all? Go right to bed, Red."

Red opened her mouth to protest before shutting it again and walking away, her shoulders slumped.

Chloe felt a pang of pain seeing how upset Red was. It was a tiny slice of cake. Surely it wasn't that much of a big deal...?

Chloe finally understood now. How little Red ate in her daily life, even now. How she always skipped breakfast, had small portions at dinner, and even at parties, always checked the room before taking a bit of a tiny cookie or a handful of popcorn.

This was why.

Shutting the door behind her, Chloe looked down the hall. There were so many more doors...how had Red gone through this? How was Red still managing to smile these days having gone through all of this?

Another door with a seven on it, and Chloe turned the handle and entered to see a table, with Red and Bridget sitting at it, having dinner.

Red was tapping her foot on the ground—something Chloe knew that she still did even now—while she ate. But Bridget sharply turned towards her and Red stopped immediately.

"What did I say about fidgeting?" Bridget snapped, and Red flinched.

"That it's annoying and I shouldn't do it." Red murmured.

"Mhm." Bridget nodded coldly.

Red shifted, tucking her leg underneath her so that she was sitting on it. Again, it was something she still did today, she always said she hated sitting normally and that it was uncomfortable for her, but Bridget gave her a glare.

"Sit properly." Bridget practically snarled, and Red dropped her fork, startled. It bounced off the table and hit the floor, and Red instantly leapt out of the chair to grab it.

"I'm sorry," She squeaked in a panicked voice, scrambling to her feet again.

Bridget only rolled her eyes, huffing out a huge sigh. "So clumsy...you're such a disappointment."

Red shrank into herself, pressing her back against the chair, and Chloe could see a tear roll down the girl's cheek.

"Oh for— stop crying!" Bridget snapped. "You're almost eight years old, it's time to start acting like it. Oh my hearts," She muttered, more to herself than Red, "To think you'll be queen one day..."

And Chloe couldn't stand to see any more.

The next door had an eight on it, and Chloe weakly stepped inside, and was met with the sight of Red playing with Chessy again. Red's gaze was off in the distance at a picnic blanket on the hills, with a man and his son who Chloe was able to recognise: It was Maddox and Max. They looked different from the versions of them that Chloe knew, but it was unmistakably them, and they looked so happy together.

"I don't know how Max falls for it."

Chloe's thoughts drifted back to Red when she heard the young girl's voice.

"Fall for what?" Chessy asked.

"Thinking that his Dad loves him. He's obviously trying to get Max to lower his guard so he can hurt him somehow."

Chloe felt as though her heart cracked into two. Was that really what Red had grown up to think? That love was conditional? That it had ulterior motives?

Slowly, as though thinking of what she could possibly say to the girl, Chessy shook her head. "No, I...I think Maddox just loves his son, Red."

Red frowned in thought. "But...his version of love looks so much nicer than Mom's."

Chloe felt the tears building up behind her eyes and she fought to keep them back.

She couldn't do this anymore. How much more of these awful visions could she watch? Weakly, she shut the door behind her with a shaky hand and turned to the next one. She had to just get these memories over with as soon as she could. It would hurt less if she tried to move through them efficiently.

The next door— aged nine. Chloe opened it, and Red was sitting on the grass, talking. Talking to...the flowers?

And Chloe was met with a dizzying realisation.

Red had mentioned before that she used to talk to the flowers in Wonderland. And knowing Wonderland and what it was like, Chloe had assumed that the flowers were magical. That they talked back.

But now, Red was just sitting in a regular patch of roses, talking to them and laughing.

Fuck. This was how lonely Red was. When she couldn't talk to Chessy or Maddox for whatever reason, she had to go and talk to literal flowers because she had nobody else in her life to turn to.

She wasn't kidding when she said she grew up as basically a prisoner of Wonderland, almost in solitary confinement. There was nobody there.

Chloe saw the bittersweet look on Red's face as she went on talking, knowing that the flowers wouldn't talk back.

Red knew it. Red knew in her heart that this was a sign of how lonely she really was— she was getting older now, she wasn't a clueless child anymore. She had to slowly be coming to the realisation that her mother's behaviour wasn't normal, and that it had affects on her that weren't right.

But she probably didn't want to admit it to herself. She was probably trying to trick herself into thinking there was another reason she was here right now, crouched in a patch of roses, looking at them lovingly as though they were some of her only friends in the world.

They were.

Numb with grief and sadness for Red, Chloe stumbled out of the doorway and shut it, turning to the next one.

Red at the age of ten. She was shaking with anticipation, once again holding her cat plushie, muttering to herself as she searched the castle for Bridget presumably, and it looked like she was rehearsing the entire conversation so she knew exactly what she had to do and say to avoid setting her mother off.

Was this the reality Red had grown up in? Walking on eggshells around the person who was supposed to love her most?

Finally, she spotted Bridget, inhaled deeply, and walked over to her.

"Hey, Mom? I was just wondering—"

Bridget turned around to face Red, and let out a humourless laugh. "Oh my hearts...you still have that thing?"

For a moment Chloe had no idea what Bridget was talking about, it looked like Red didn't either, and then the realisation set in for both of them.

The cat.

In a heartbeat, Bridget snatched it away from Red, grabbing it.

"No!" Red cried, reaching out to grab it back, but Bridget was holding him too far away.

"Red, you are not a child anymore! You tell me you're sorry for being so pathetic and weak and that you'll try to change, and then you still hold onto a toy for a baby! You're ridiculous! I'm getting rid of this piece of rubbish."

"No!" Red cried, tears sliding out, "Don't you dare, I need him!"

All along, that was the version of Red that Chloe had been expecting to see: The girl with the fiery, rebellious spark, who stood up for herself. Now that she was growing, was that spark finally beginning to set in? Was she beginning to defy her mother, slowly?

Bridget's eyes widened. "How dare you speak to me like that? Don't you understand that I'm doing this for your own good? You selfish little brat! Do you honestly think it's okay to speak to me in that tone? Well here's what I have to say about that!"

Chloe already knew what was coming. Please, no...

Bridget gripped the cat tightly and ripped one of the legs right off it.

"No, stop!" Red pleaded, trying to reach for it as Bridget continued.

Bridget stormed off and over to a trash can, throwing it inside. "And that's what you get. Off to bed immediately, and you needn't think you're getting any supper for the despicable way you spoke to me."

The vision flashed, and everything was dark. Chloe could see Red, barefoot and in her pyjamas, tiptoeing around until she reached the trash can the cat had been thrown in. She grabbed it out, and held him close to her chest as though she'd never let him out of her grasp again.

And then she sprinted right back up to her room before she got caught. As soon as she was back inside, she switched on her light, pulled a small sewing box out of her drawer, and sat on the edge of her bed.

Chloe's heart ached. Was Red...?

Yes.

Chloe watched for the next hour as Red painstakingly tried to sew the cat back together. Her hands were coveted in needle pricks by the end of it, raw and bleeding, but Red didn't seem to care, because she looked so triumphant and proud of herself when she was finished.

"There," She smiled tearfully, straightening up the little bowtie it had on, "Good as new." Then, "It's okay. I'm not like Mom, I'll love you even if you're not perfect."

Chloe swayed on her feet as she left the room.

She opened the next door, not even bothering to check the age, she just needed to get through the rest of the memories as quick as she could, because the only thing that mattered to her now was finishing as soon as possible, because the sooner this was over, the sooner she could run and hug Red.

Red was lying in her bed, shivering, holding her cat yet again, and Maddox was standing next to her, holding out a tray with a cup of tea on it.

"There," He was saying, "Now just rest and go back to sleep, you're burning up."

"But I'm cold..." Red answered, clutching her cat tighter.

Maddox opened his mouth to reply, but Red cut him off with a question, her eyes brimming with hope. "I...I felt somebody stroke my hair last night, when I was asleep. Was that...who was it?"

"That was me," Maddox responded, "I came into check on you."

"Oh..." Red murmured, the hope dying in her expression. She looked absolutely crestfallen. "I thought..." She gave her head a little shake. "No, I should have known that Mom would never..."

Chloe watched in horror as Red forced a smile. "Well, thanks for checking on me, Mads."

Maddox smiled too, but Chloe could see how bad he felt for Red deep down. "Of course."

"Mom hasn't, um..." Red fidgeted with her hands, "She...has she asked about me? If I'm doing any better yet? Has she come to check on me while I was asleep?"

Maddox hesitated. "Well—"

"It's fine," Red laughed bitterly, even though the situation was totally humourless, "You don't have to lie and pretend that she did just to make me feel better. I know she doesn't care."

"Red..."

"No, it's fine! Seriously, it's okay." Red replied with a smile so fake it broke Chloe's heart.

"I'm sorry, Red. Look, you need to get some rest, I'll come back and see how you're doing in a bit, okay?"

Red nodded, forcing a cheerful grin. But the second Maddox shut the door, she craned her head to hear his footsteps retreating and ensure he was out of earshot. And only then did she burst into tears.

Chloe couldn't help it, she tried to move, tried to walk forward so that she could hold Red and give her the care she deserved, but the visions never let Chloe move forward, they only ever let her walk backwards when it was time to leave.

So that was what Chloe did, shutting the door behind her and turning to the next one, afraid of what she was going to see.

In this memory, Red was walking down a corridor of the castle. It didn't seem like she was looking for anyone or anything in particular, she was just heading a certain direction, and turned around a corner, only for someone else to be rounding the same corner and collide into her.

"Ah— I'm so sorry!" Red squeaked, before she even opened her eyes and knew who it was, "I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay."

It was only Maddox.

Red tentatively opened her eyes and breathed a faint sigh of relief. Her shoulders seemed to relax, and Chloe realised she had been genuinely terrified at the thought of it being her mother.

"Red? Come here at once!"

A voice from outside on the balcony. Bridget's.

...Had she seen the whole thing unfold?

Red flinched. "C-coming, Mom!"

"Wish me luck," She muttered to Maddox, brushing past him and heading out to where her mother was sitting.

"What did I just see?" Bridget asked coldly.

"I— Maddox bumped into me." Red answered, fidgeting with her hands.

"And what— alright, first of all, stop that ridiculous fidgeting. Hands by your side, just stand still for once!" Bridget snapped.

Red did so, straightening up immediately, and Chloe lifted a hand on instinct, trying to reach out to Red.

"And what did I tell you about saying sorry?"

"That it makes me look weak..."

"Precisely. Why do you say it so often, then? Honestly, people would think I abuse you or something with the way you apologise constantly!" Bridget shouted.

Chloe felt rage bubble up inside her. The hypocrisy! Bridget spent her life terrifying Red and making her afraid of practically breathing, and then when she apologised, a result of Bridget's abuse, Bridget manipulated Red into thinking it was her fault?

"I'm s—" Red stopped herself. "I just...sometimes...when you yell at me so often, I feel like I'm at fault, so I'm used to saying sorry all the time."

Bridget gave her an incredulous look. "Oh you pathetic little— you have the audacity to turn this around on me? Just go to your room! I can't look at you right now!"

Red's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to answer before clearly thinking better of it and spinning around, storming off to her room and slamming the door behind her.

There were still so many more doors...Chloe felt awful thinking it, but she couldn't do them all. She just couldn't. It felt selfish, she felt like if Red had to go through all of this, then the least she could do was watch and know what her girlfriend had endured, but at the same time, what was the point? She couldn't change it, she couldn't fix it, what was important now was doing a couple more doors and then throwing her arms around Red and telling her how loved she was.

Turning the next handle, Chloe stepped inside. Bridget was talking, too far away for Chloe to hear, but whatever she said, Red rolled her eyes about it.

Right as Bridget turned to address her.

Chloe instantly saw the panic set in on Red's face, and Bridget let out a gasp. "What did I just see?"

"I-I wasn't— I wasn't rolling my eyes at you, I—"

Bridget slapped Red hard across the cheek, enough for Red to being a hand up to hold it afterwards.

"How dare you!?" Bridget demanded. "You disgusting little pig!" She pushed Red backwards against the wall, and Chloe had to just turn and run to the next door before she burst into tears at the sight.

She had seen enough of these visions. She had to just get home, now.

At the end of the hall was the mirror, and Chloe started running towards her.

"I'm sorry, Red," She murmured as she ran, "I wanted to go through all of them for you, but I think now I just need to be here for you in the present."

But she slowed down as another door caught her eye, one with Red aged sixteen, and it had a star on it at the bottom.

Curiously, Chloe edged towards it, opening it, and she was instantly sucked in, her head spinning, unlike any of the other visions. Everything was blurry and loud until it subsided, leaving Chloe sitting on a bed.

Red's bed.

Looking down at her hands, she saw that they weren't her own. Her outfit was red and black, and familiar coloured hair cascaded over her shoulders.

I'm Red in this vision... She realised.

Her body moved as though it wasn't her own— because it wasn't, really. Her mind was in Red's body, but wasn't controlling it, because Red reached a hand into her pocket and pulled out a pocketwatch.

The Pocketwatch.

But I must warn you, A voice echoed in her head, and Chloe instantly recognised it as Maddox's, Altering the fabric of time can have some unpredictable consequences. You could lose your mother entirely.

You could lose your mother entirely...

At that, Red slid the pocketwatch back into her pocket, sighing.

And then, Chloe felt Red's emotions and thoughts as though they were her own.

Pain. Hatred. Love. Confusion. Turmoil.

I love her. I could lose her— I don't want to lose her. I hate her, she's ruined my life, I want a life without her in it, but I love her, she's my Mom, I don't— I don't want this. I want freedom, I want a life without her abuse...but I can't imagine that. I don't want to erase her, I don't want to lose her, I hate her but she's all I've ever known. I love her...I want to love her...do I love her? Do I hate her? Do I want to hate her? I don't know what I feel...

And then the tears came. I can't bring myself to hate her. I say I do but deep down I don't think I ever have. She's put me through hell, and I hate what she's turned me into, what she's done to me, what she wants to make me, but I still fucking love her, and I don't know why, and I hate that more than I could ever hate her. I don't want to love her, isn't loving her wrong after what she's done to me? What am I meant to feel? Should I hate her? Do I even want to hate her?I don't know what I'm meant to feel.

Chloe felt Red's pain deep inside her chest, smothering her like she could barely breathe in. I'm not stupid, I know she's abused me for sixteen years of my life and told me I should never love anyone, but I think I still do. Every kid is meant to love their Mom, right? Mine is easy to hate and I still love her for some stupid reason. Hearts, what's wrong with me? I have the chance to escape her and I can't even take it or want it because I'm a coward who still loves the person who's hurt me most. She's right, isn't she? I really am weak...

And then Chloe heard all of Bridget's words play in her mind, the words that had been directed at Red over sixteen years, loud and clear, as though they were physical blows.

Pathetic.

Weak.

Unworthy.

Waste of space.

Disappointment.

Sorry excuse for an heir.

Failure.

Ridiculous brat.

Burden.

Disgusting liar.

Unwanted.

Unlovable.

Chloe felt them all settle in Red's chest, in her mind, in her body, all like heavy stones that were crushing her whole, and Chloe could hear one thought one echo in Red's head.

That's the truth. She's right, she's always been. I am all of those things. That's all I'll ever be.

And then the vision was over and Chloe was outside the door with a sickening realisation.

Red believed all of those things were true, even to this day. She blamed herself for her mother's behaviour. She thought it was her fault. She thought she deserved all of that abuse...Bridget's manipulating and guilt-tripping had done it's job, because Red hated herself to this day.

She hadn't healed, not even now that they had changed the past and made Bridget nice, because it didn't erase sixteen years of the hell Red had gone through, nothing would ever do that.

Chloe knew that all she could do now to try and help her girlfriend was stay by her side and hold her, be here forever, and tell her she loved her, for as long as Red needed to hear it. Tell her everything Red should have heard for all those years.

I'm proud of you.

You're doing great.

You're so strong.

You don't deserve all of that.

I'm here for you.

I'm not going anywhere.

You're perfect to me, just the way you are.

I love you.

And then Chloe leapt through the mirror

Her feet were back on the ground immediately, and Red looked up at her.

"Welcome back, Princ—"

Chloe threw herself at Red, holding her tightly, and they hit the bed with a loud thud.

"Ah— Chloe! What are you—"

Chloe didn't know she was crying until she heard her own voice, which came out in sobs. "I'm so sorry, Red, I'm so sorry...you were so— so little! You never...never deserved that, not for a minute. You know that, right?"

Red sat up, her arms still around Chloe's, and now she was crying too. "Hey, Princess, it's okay, you don't need to cry, it's not a big deal—"

"Stop!" Chloe wailed, surprised by how loud her own voice was, "Stop saying that! Of course it's a big deal! You went through hell for sixteen years of your life, you were robbed of the childhood you deserved, and you brush it off like it was nothing! Like it was normal!"

Red gave Chloe a look filled with pain. "But that's the thing. It was my normal. It was all I ever knew." She let out a dry laugh, "I thought I was crazy. I was a kid, but I wasn't completely clueless, I knew to a certain degree that what she was doing wasn't right, that anyone who loved their kid wouldn't do that. But I grew up alone, I never knew what love or abuse looked like, and because it was all I knew...I think I told myself that I was the problem. I was to blame. It was my fault. I guessed that what she was doing couldn't be love—but I didn't know what love was. I didn't know what abuse was. So my automatic response was to believe I was the one at fault."

"Please don't tell me you still believe that..." Chloe murmured, her heart feeling like it was being torn in two.

Red looked away. "If you grow up being told something or believing somethimg for sixteen years, that's pretty hard to change."

Chloe leaned forward, pressing her lips to Red's without a second thought. "It was never true. Okay? It was never true, everything she said and did. She manipulated you, Red, it was never your fault. Everything she did, everything she said...you never deserved that. Not once. Nothing warrants abuse, Red. You're so strong, I think I always knew that, but I never knew just how strong you were, how strong you had to be. Being vulnerable is never the same as being weak. You don't have to hide anymore, Red. I know you never heard any of this growing up, but I'm here, Red, and I'm not going anywhere, because I love you just the way you are. Love never comes with conditions."

And then Red was sobbing too, pulling Chloe in and crying into her arms. Chloe held her tightly, like someone should have done for all those years, and whispered everything Red should have been told. The real truth, after all those years of being told lies and believing them.

"You're doing great, alright? I'm proud of you, baby. You're so much stronger than you realise. You're the best person I know, and I love you so so much. Never forget that, okay?"

Red sniffles, pulling back and wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "I don't know if I'll be able to believe all of that, but I'll try. I don't if I'll be ever able to truly love myself, but I'm going to do my best. And...I think if I know you're here, that you love me, then maybe I can learn to love myself too."

"Well I do," Chloe answered instantly, "I love you. And I'm not going anywhere."

And then she leaned in and kissed Red again.