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Nat stands outside Sunnyview Senior Home and regrets everything she did that led her here.
The screaming match she had with her mom. The second and third and fourth refill at the bar. The fight she had with the dude outside of it. Even the plea deal she took to get out of serving jail time.
What the fuck was she thinking? A year of community service at a retirement over a month in the slammer?
Fucking idiot.
/
Her first day is long, but at least it’s pretty uneventful.
Nat gets signed in and paired up with this burly, jovial and very obviously gay dude, who can’t be much older than she is. She pegs him as late 20s, but she’s been way off before.
His name is Greg and he’s very enthusiastic about his job and wants Nat to be too, and it doesn’t take him long to realize that’s just not going to happen, not least of all because only one of them is getting paid.
Greg spends half of the day giving her a tour of the place, explaining how everything works and the basic rundown of everyone’s jobs, including the kind of shit she’ll be expected to do.
Given her criminal record and lack of higher education, Nat won’t be handling any medication or taking any actual care of any of the elderly, which is a huge fucking relief to her.
Instead, she’ll be spending a lot of time in the kitchen and the administration office, doing some yard and janitorial work, and helping to organize and run special activities, like bingo and movie nights.
It doesn’t exactly sound like her idea of fun, but she guesses it could be worse; Nat can handle all of that.
There’s a lot more younger people on staff than she expected there to be, too. Not really her usual crowd, but it’s not like she has to hang out with them outside of work.
By the time her first day is finished, she thinks it might not be so bad after all. She’s definitely feeling better about her decision to take the plea deal, at least.
/
Nat meets Misty Quigley on her second day.
Well, kind of. She just sees her and hears a lot about her.
She’s an enthusiastic but tiny woman, probably middle age, with short, curly blonde hair and glasses.
The rest of the staff clearly doesn’t like her, but she seems harmless to Nat, and not just because she’s kinda hot, in a sexy librarian kind of way. Which was never one of Nat’s fantasies - probably because the librarian at their school was a dude and not even a hot one - but they say you learn something new everyday.
After all the shit people spread about her in high school, Nat likes to form her own opinions on people, not take others' words for it, so she wants to give the lady a chance.
But it seems like nobody wants her to. Or at least Denise and Brett, who she’s spent all day with in the kitchen, sure don’t.
“Be careful with her,” Denise warns her over lunch, biting the cubed fruit off her fork and pointing it in the direction of Misty, where she’s pushing a grandma in a wheelchair across the rec room.
She guesses Misty either has a different lunch break than them or she’s too diligent a worker to take one.
“Seriously?” Nat scoffs, rolling her eyes at just how serious Denise sounds. “Just because she’s a little annoying?”
“Okay, first, she’s very annoying,” Denise insists.
And Brett adds, “Secondly, she’s also batshit insane,” from Nat’s other side.
But that just makes her smile because, honestly, she sounds like Nat’s kind of people.
/
Nat doesn’t actually talk to Misty until the end of her second week, when she’s tasked with clearing out the room of a woman that got rushed to the hospital the day before and is apparently never coming back.
It’s her first death on the job, and even though Nat didn’t know her at all, it still feels a little morbid to be packing up all her shit for her family to take.
But it doesn’t seem to bother Misty much at all, and she was her actual nurse for who the fuck knows how long. Because she strolls right in with a skip in her step and a smile on her face.
A smile that only falters when she realizes Nat is already in there.
“Oh!” she exclaims with a surprised and exaggerated laugh. “Hi, there! I didn’t know Clyde already had someone in here gathering Myrtle's belongings.”
She’s trying to mask it with a too bright smile, but it’s so obviously passive aggressive that Nat just has to smirk back at her. She can sense immediately that Misty is someone that’s easy - and fun - to rile up.
“Yeah, sorry if you wanted to do it, I just go where I’m told,” Nat tells her as she finishes stripping the bed and shoves the dirty sheets into the laundry cart beside her. “But feel free to help.”
Misty hesitates, head tilting as she eyes Nat critically, like she’s trying to gauge if she’s serious. Like nobody has ever asked her to work together before.
Which, judging by the way everyone around here talks about her, is probably true.
Nat grabs the book from Myrtle’s bedside table, tries not to think too hard about the bookmark poking out of the top, and offers it to Misty to put in the box by the foot of the bed.
Misty takes it apprehensively, looking down at the cover, but when she looks at Nat again, she’s got a wide smile plastered on her face again.
“Sure!” she chirps brightly, dropping the heavy book into the box like it’s a trashcan. “Many hands make light work, as they say!”
/
So, Misty is annoying, it turns out. It only takes spending that one afternoon for Nat to admit the others weren’t completely wrong about her.
But whatever. She’s hardly the most annoying person on staff at this joint.
At least Misty talks to Nat, works with her and smiles at her. Even seems to respect her.
That’s a lot more than some people there can say.
Like Karen Miller, one of the other older nurses at Sunnyview. She treats Nat like she’s a murderer that got off on a technicality or something.
It was a fucking bar fight. She broke a guy’s nose. Big fucking deal.
She’s not someone to be scared of, but Karen acts like she’s gonna pull the plug on some old fogie or hold a pillow over their face as soon as she gets a chance.
Does Karen really think Nat would be fucking working here if she was actually a danger to anyone?
Stupid bitch.
And to top it off, she’s really rude as fuck to Misty, too.
But then again, all of them are, really.
Like, Nat’s been there for a month now, and Misty has invited the other staff members out to get drinks at the end of every Friday and Saturday night shift since she got there, and never once has any of them taken her up on the offer.
Worse yet, they all laugh and mock her for it the second she’s out of earshot.
Some days, it feels like Nat is back in fucking high school, and she hated it enough the first time around.
/
For all of her judgment, it’s not until the third month there that Nat accepts one of Misty’s invitations to get drinks herself.
She doesn’t go into work that day planning on it, but it’s not entirely on a whim, either.
Misty has poked her head into four different rooms to ask people by the time she gets to the rec room where Nat is, so she has a good three or so minutes to think it over before she decides to just go for it.
“Sure, I’m game,” Nat says glibly as she collects the last few bingo sheets from the final table. “Just give me ten and I’ll meet you out there?”
Misty looks just as stunned by her answer as everyone else in the room is, but she recovers quickly and for once, the grin on her face looks entirely genuine.
“Of course!” she agrees, gripping the strap of her purse excitedly. “No rush, take as long as you need! I’ll be right outside!”
There’s an obvious bounce in her step when she leaves, and Nat can’t help but notice she doesn’t bother extending any more invites to the last handful of rooms she passes on her way to the exit.
“What the fuck was that?” Brett hisses once the coast is clear, and it’s clear he’s speaking for the three other incredulous staffers in the room with them. “Are you out of your mind?”
“Do you have mommy issues or something?”
“Not everyone that dates older women has mommy issues. Some of us are just into MILFs.”
Nat rolls her eyes at all of them. “It’s not a date,” she insists, but doesn’t deny the general implication that she’s into Misty.
Not necessarily because she is, but more so because she’s not not into her. Nat hasn’t figured it out yet. Shit is as complicated and strange as Misty is.
“I don’t think taking pity on Nurse Ratched counts towards your community service, you know,” Denise adds.
“Jesus, she’s really not that bad,” Nat laughs, shaking her head at the way they’re all looking at her. She also doesn’t deny that it is at least half motivated by pity. What can she say? Nat’s always had a soft spot for her fellow rejects. “And I need a drink after that mindnumbing fucking bingo game.”
“Just make sure you keep an eye on your drink,” Denise advises, and Nat can’t believe how serious she sounds. “She’s totally the type to drug and kidnap you if you give her an opening.”
She’s not entirely wrong, but Nat kinda thinks that might be something she likes about Misty. People have always told her she has terrible taste.
/
One thing Nat has liked about every conversation she’s had with Misty over the past few months is that Misty does most of the actual talking.
As annoying as some of her topics of choice can get, Nat appreciates not having to contribute much, and she’d be lying if she said Misty isn’t cute when she rambles sometimes. Or at least she is during the lighter, less morbid topics.
Tonight is no different.
Or, it is, but in a good way.
Nat quickly finds out that Misty’s different outside of work, or maybe just away from people that so obviously don’t like her. She’s not trying so damn hard.
The alcohol helps too, she’s sure. To loosen Misty up and increase Nat’s tolerance of her.
They’re actually having fun.
“I’m so glad you started volunteering at Sunnyview,” Misty confesses about two hours in, with a placid smile and a small slur. She’s not drunk yet, but if she has much more, she might be, so Nat has done the responsible thing for once in her life and let her know she’s cut off after this. “It’s been so nice to finally have a friend at work.”
Nat can’t help but smile at the compliment. So apparently it’s true, what they say about how a job will have you making friends with a forty-year old when you’re in your twenties.
A selfie of them right now would totally go viral.
“How long have you worked there?” Nat wonders before she downs the last of her own drink.
“It’ll be nine years next month.”
“Wow.” Nat can’t imagine committing to anything for even half that time, let alone working at Sunnyview.
“Nine years and you’re my first real work friend!” Misty gushes, smiling serenely like that’s not the most pathetic thing anyone has ever said.
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Nat feels obligated to protest, even though it’s not hard to believe at all.
“No, it is!” Misty is all too happy to insist, pushing her glasses up her nose. “They all think I’m annoying. They think I’m clueless, but I’m not stupid. I know more than they think I do.”
Nat can’t tell if it’s the buzz Misty has going that helps that roll of her back or if it’s the years of experience, but she’s impressed by how unbothered Misty seems to be by the truth of that admission.
As much as Nat has always wanted to seem unaffected by what people think of her, she’s yet to achieve that kind of indifference. If it even is indifference. Maybe it’s just acceptance.
“Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re that bad,” Nat tells her, because it’s true and because it’s hard for her to believe Misty really doesn’t need to hear it.
“Thank you!” Misty beams, appreciating the sentiment either way.
Nat smirks, finding the older woman’s grin particularly endearing right now, and pops a few peanuts in her mouth. “You know who’s way worse than you?”
“Karen?” Misty guesses easily.
“Karen!” Nat laughs, smacking the table in her joy. “Oh my fucking god, I thought I was the only one that can’t stand her.”
“No, no, she’s awful, I agree,” she nods seriously. “A very miserable woman.”
“She looks at me like I’m a criminal,” Nat complains, but has enough self awareness to reluctantly follow it up with, “Which, yeah, fucking whatever, I guess I am, but not the kind she needs to be so fucking scared of.”
Misty keeps nodding, and Nat almost wonders if she’s even registered what she just said until she replies, “I wish you were.”
“Fuck, I kinda wish I were too,” Nat agrees with a growing smirk, enjoying the mental image of Karen visibly quaking at the sight of her.
“You should do a crime to her!” Misty eagerly suggests, then excitedly leans in so much she’s practically reaching across the table. “No, no, we should! Together! As payback! I know where she lives.”
Nat can’t tell if Misty is being serious or not, but finds herself laughing and saying, “Well shit, I’m sold,” either way. “What kinda crime did you have in mind?”
Misty appears to give it some real thought before she settles on something. “We could cut her brakes,” she says simply, and Nat has to commend her for her great poker face. She almost thinks Misty really means it for a second.
“I was thinking something a little tamer, less chance of a murder charge,” Nat plays along, idly spinning the damp cardboard coaster as she considers a serious alternative plan. “What about slashing her tires? That’s in the same lane, right?”
Misty’s eyes widen behind her glasses at the suggestion. “Okay!”
“Okay, you’re really excited about that,” Nat teases, a little surprised. So apparently they’re really doing this. What the hell, the bitch deserves it and if they get caught, well, whatever. Nat’s been arrested for far worse. “Finish your drink. I’ll drive the getaway car.”
/
Nat and Misty are standing outside Karen’s house twenty minutes later.
It’s exactly the kind of suburban house Nat expected her to live in; it’s just missing a picket fence. Lucky for them, her car is parked in the driveway, off to the side of the house, where a big ass bushy tree provides decent cover for them from any nosy neighbors.
Nat flips her pocket knife open and holds it out in her palm as an offering to the woman beside her.
“You just carry that around?” Misty wonders, not sounding put off at all.
Nat shrugs. “When you get in as many bar fights as I do, you never know.”
Misty nods her approval. “I respect a girl that’s prepared.”
“So, do you wanna do the honors or should I?” Nat asks, genuinely curious to see if Misty has it in her.
Everyone says she’s insane, and Nat’s certainly seen some signs that suggest that assessment isn’t completely unfounded, but there’s a difference between having crazy eyes and actually doing something crazy.
Even something as low stakes as this.
Misty’s still a middle aged woman that works in a nursing home, who wears cat sweaters and Crocs, after all.
But as she eyes the blade in Nat’s hand, it doesn’t seem to be in hesitation.
“We can share and do two each,” Misty finally decides, reaching for the knife so she can go first. “Like real partners in crime!”
Nat grins and hands it over. “Alright, partner.”
Misty seems giddy as she goes for the front driver’s side tire, stabbing the rubber with a surprising amount of strength for how tiny she is. If she didn’t let out an awed and adorable squeak of glee when it punctures smoothly on the first try, Nat would think she’s done this before.
Once the tire starts quietly hissing, she skips around to the passenger side and does it again, this time stabbing it a couple extra times for good measure.
“That was exhilarating!” Misty whispers giddily, rushing back to Nat’s side with a smile so wide it’s practically splitting her face in two.
She looks younger than she is in that moment; Nat can so easily picture what she must have been like as a teenager.
They wouldn’t have been friends if they went to high school together, she’s pretty sure, but it doesn’t make sense that they’re kinda friends now either, so who the fuck knows.
Maybe they were meant to be partners in crime, at least for one weird fucking night.
“Pretty rad, right?” Nat laughs, taking the knife and doing the back tires with much less enthusiasm. But it’s no less satisfying for her.
“I wish we had eggs,” Misty says once Nat is back at her side and they’re making their way back to Misty’s tiny little Fiat that they made sure to park around the block.
“Because you’re craving an omelet?”
“No, silly, to throw at the car!” Misty explains, getting a little worked up at the mere idea of it. Nat’s created a little monster. “Or, or her house!”
“A classic,” Nat has to agree, remembering a specific night in sophomore year, when she and her best friend Van egged Bobby Farleigh’s house for being such an asshole to her.
“Should we go get some? The supermarket is open all night,” Misty suggests seriously, grabbing at the sleeve of Nat’s jacket eagerly, until a thought comes to her that gets her pouting. “Though then there’d be witnesses to trace it back to us.”
Fuck, she’s cute, Nat thinks.
Why is this forty-year old woman living out her missed teenage years through a petty crime spree so endearing to her? What the fuck is wrong with her?
“How about we save that for next time,” Nat replies placatingly. “One crime a night for beginners.”
Misty pauses a few feet away from her car, before she can follow Nat down into the road.
“Next time?” she repeats in measured surprise.
Nat hadn’t really meant anything by it, but she’s surprised to find she’s not put off by Misty’s reading of it, either.
She kicks weakly at the curb, her hands shoved into her jacket pockets, suddenly a little shy.
“I mean, we’ll have to see if this gives Karen an attitude check,” Nat offers, forcing herself not to look away from Misty, whose eyeline is level with hers for once. “If she’s still a bitch next week, she might need a good egging.”
“Oh, she for sure will,” Misty thinks, and probably hopes. Her smile softens as she steps closer to Nat, so she’s right to the edge of the curb. “Thank you for tonight. For coming out with me. And for this.”
“Yeah, s-sure,” Nat stutters, suddenly finding it hard to form words with this woman so close to her. She swallows as manages to say, “I had fun.”
“Me too,” Misty nods, pushing up her glasses. “Best night ever.”
And then she’s surging forward so suddenly that she stumbles off the curb and Nat is just barely able to free her hands to catch her and hold her steady before they’re kissing.
Nat’s mouth moves on instinct, kissing Misty back before her brain can even register what’s happening. But when it finally does, it’s already over.
“Whoa,” is all Nat can say when they pull apart.
Misty’s eyes widen in a panic as her own head seems to catch up with her lips.
“Oh gosh, I’m sorry!” she cries, but her grip on the front of Nat’s jacket doesn’t loosen, and neither does Nat’s hold on her waist. “I’m sorry, did I totally misread everything? I do that sometimes. I forget that most people are just being nice because they feel sorry for me. Not because they think I’m pretty and want to sleep with me. Of course you aren’t trying to sleep with an old lady like me.”
“No, I- I think you’re really pretty,” Nat promises her, even though she’s still trying to process this turn of events. It’s not that she’s never thought about it, she just never thought Misty had.
Misty blinks up at her, clearly surprised. “Really?” she says, voice small and wary.
“And pretty strange,” Nat admits with a crooked smile, reaching up to brush a curl away from her glasses.
Misty isn’t bothered by that at all, and asks bluntly, “And do you want to sleep with me?”
This woman is very strange indeed. But Nat’s so fucking into it.
“I mean, shit, if you’re offering,” she answers, pulling Misty’s smaller body against hers again so they can get back to kissing.
They stumble backwards without disconnecting their lips, until Nat’s back is pressed against Misty’s car. Misty even manages to open the back door without breaking their kiss and only pulls away long enough for them to crawl into the cramped backseat.
The last coherent thought Nat has before Misty’s shirt comes off is that work will certainly be a lot more interesting from now on.
/
“You survived!” Denise cheers when she sees Nat on Monday. “Thank God.”
Brett laughs while Greg looks confused, and Nat just rolls her eyes.
“How was it?” the former wonders, laying out different games on different tables for the residents to use for the day.
“How was what?” Greg asks, since he wasn’t working on Saturday. Nat’s half surprised there wasn’t a massive group text sent out about it.
“She went on a date with Misty,” Denis explains.
“It wasn’t a date,” Nat denies, even though it kind of ended up feeling like one, and catches sight of Misty out the window just as her Fiat pulls into its reserved spot. They hadn’t discussed discretion, but something tells her Misty doesn’t give much of a fuck about it, so she follows her denial up with, “But we did fuck in the backseat of her car.”
It isn’t until after she says it that Nat realizes she probably should have checked to see if it’s against some kind of rule for employees of this place to fool around or not, but the shocked, slack jawed reactions are totally worth the risk.
/
(Karen doesn’t change. Of course she doesn't; Karens never change.
In fact, she acts like an even bigger cunt throughout the week, so when Misty asks her - and only her - out for drinks again on Friday, Nat tells her to stop at home to pick up some eggs first.)