Work Text:
New York City Dump
Age 6
The wind had Leo shivering and ducking behind his dad for cover. Dad just chuckled and rubbed the top of Leo's head. The slider leaned into the touch, but kept scanning the junkyard for anything he could use. But there was nothing. Just like all the dumpsters they'd checked earlier, just like the Goodwill, and just like at home. 'I'm gonna ruin Donnie's birthday and it'll be all my fault!'
Donnie's birthday, (his first official birthday for him and him alone) was tomorrow and Leo still hadn't found a birthday present for him! It wasn't like he hadn't tried; Leo had begged to tag along with Dad (and sometimes Raph) every day for two whole weeks, trying to find the perfect gift and there just wasn't anything good enough! The books were all too young for Donnie, too hard, talked about stuff he wasn't interested in, or all three! No one had decided to throw anything away or donate stuff about Jupiter Jim or Lou Jitsu, except for that one comic, but it was stained with orange juice and about Atomic Lad, who Donnie didn't like anyway. Sure, Leo could do the easy thing and find some spare parts that Donnie could use, (that's what he did in the past), but Leo didn't want to do the easy thing! He was gonna be better this time and that meant getting Donnie the best gift!
(Well, it wouldn't be the best gift this year. Dad was cleaning out one of the spare rooms so Donnie would have his lab super early this time and Leo knew that nothing was gonna top that. But he still wanted to try his best for his brother!)
Another gust of wind rattled the air, chilling Leo enough to make his teeth chatter. He clenched his jaw, but it was too late. Dad's ear twitched and he turned to look at his son. "Perhaps we should start heading home. You need some time under the heat lamp."
"No Dad! I haven't found Donnie's gift yet!" Leo protested, eyes going wide. He clasped his hands together when Dad frowned. "Please! We haven't checked the last dump spot! What if the perfect gift's there and I miss it and-"
"Leonardo." Dad gently squeezed his shoulder. "Donnie will love whatever you choose to give him." Leo shook his head in denial. That wasn't good enough! (He wasn't good enough.) "We passed some broken computers a few piles back. I'm sure your brother would-"
"I don't want to give him something he has to fix!" Part of Leo wanted to run, just sprint to the last dump spot instead of arguing. But he forced himself to stay still. Leo was going to be good this time, and good sons didn't run off on their own! (Not after last time. The memory of Dad's disappointed face the night Leo had went to get Donnie glasses still made him want to curl up in a ball in shame.) "Donnie has to do that all the time; he shouldn't have to on his birthday!"
Dad looked like he was going to argue, but then his ear twitched and he flinched. He grabbed Leo by the arm and tugged him into the shadows. Leo obeyed, sitting to make himself as small as he could and resisting the urge to peek around the corner. Instead, he closed his eyes and listened to the loud beeping, followed by a metal whirring. 'It's a dump truck,' Leo realized. 'Why is one so far in?'
Yearning to sneak a look, Leo bit the inside of his cheek and began counting. He reached forty-seven before Dad's shoulders relaxed. "Alright. We'll check what they just dropped off, but then we will go home." A cold hand snuck under Leo's blue beanie to check his temperature. "And you, my son, will sit under the heat lamp without complaining."
"Yes Dad!" Relieved he still had a chance, Leo scrambled to his feet. The new pile sitting in the middle of the formerly empty path was full of the usual stuff. Discarded coffee cups and food wrappers, tied-up bags of dog poop that Leo avoided, broken bits of glass, nothing that Donnie would want for his birthday. Leo sighed as he made his way to the back of the pile. 'I'm a bad brother. No wonder Donnie didn't want to be my twin,' he thought, kicking away a soda can. 'I don't deserve it.'
Then Leo spotted them. A trio of small black cases sitting near the top of the pile. They didn't look like much, but the latches holding them together were purple. The exact shade of Donnie's mask. Leo bit his lip, judging the pile, and then turned away. 'If I try to climb it, I'll end up breaking them like I always do.' So instead, he ran back to Splinter. "Dad? Can you get those? I want to see."
Dad followed where Leo was pointing and nodded. "Stay right here." He crouched down, and then leapt into the air. Leo clapped, bouncing from foot to foot as Splinter stabbed through the handles with his tail and cartwheeled down to safety. He bowed low and tilted his tail so the cases slid to land at Leo's feet. "And there we are."
"You're so cool, Dad!" Leo praised, wrapping his arm around the rat's middle. "Even cooler than Lou Jitsu or Jupiter Jim!" (A little risky to say, but Leo wanted his dad to feel good too, and he didn't say it enough in his 'memories'. He'd be a better son this time!)
For a second, Leo felt his dad stiffen. But then, he returned Leo's hug. "Thank you, Leo. That...that means a lot to me."
Leo kinda wanted to stay in the hug, (it was comforting and warm and made Leo feel safe), but he had to check the cases. So Leo sadly pulled out of his dad's embrace and crouched down to open the nearest case. "Maybe Donnie can-" Leo trailed off, eyes widening before breaking into a huge smile. Because inside the case was a set of tools. Pliers, screwdrivers, screws and nails, a hammer, a level, even a utility knife! All with handles in the same dark purple as the clasps on the cases. The perfect gift. (Leo hadn't ruined Donnie's birthday after all!) "Dad, I did it! I found Donnie's gift!" He beamed at Splinter before frowning. "Wait, why would someone throw it away?"
Splinter rubbed his jaw thoughtfully before flipping open another case with his tail. It looked almost identical to the one Leo had opened, but was missing the pliers and there was a tape measure tucked inside instead. "Ah. It appears they are missing pieces." Smiling, Splinter picked up the tape measure and placed it in Leo's case. "But we can fix that."
"Yeah!" Leo carefully closed the toolkit and snapped the latches shut. He didn't want to break it before it got to Donnie. Leo stood up, squeezing the case tight to his chest. "Thanks Dad!"
"You're welcome, Leo. Now, let's go home. Your brothers are waiting." Nodding, Leo followed his dad out of the junkyard to the manhole left uncovered. He passed the kit to his Dad so Leo could climb down the ladder, and then hurried over to where his backpack sat with the few boxes they'd managed to collect of supplies. The case was just small enough to fit inside safely.
As they made their way home, (Leo carrying only one box while Dad had two, but Leo'd carry a lot more once he got bigger!), the slider's happiness faded. Leo's footsteps slowed until he felt Dad's tail bump into the back of his knees. "Is something wrong, Leo?"
Leo swallowed before quietly asking, "Dad? D-do you think Donnie's still mad at me?"
Dad froze and turned to look at Leo in obvious confusion. "Why would he be mad at you?"
"Because I tried to take his birthday." Leo stared at the open cardboard box in his hands, half-full of batteries and spare light bulbs for the big heat lamp. (They always ran through so many during winter.) "Donnie was really mad and..." 'Selfish. Selfish and stupid, why am I even asking this?! So what if Donnie never said he forgave me, I don't deserve it!' "N-never mind!" Leo worked up a smile and hurried past his dad. "Let's go!"
He didn't notice Splinter's thoughtful expression as he led the way home.
Donnie's Room
Five Minutes Later
"So you're sure that he's doing the training with your big sword?" Donnie asked as he added another note to the whiteboard. The marker squeaked and faded as he wrote, making the softshell growl and shake it rapidly. Stupid markers were always dying on him. 'Mental note: Invent whiteboard marker that never dies.'
Raph nodded. "It wasn't in the right spot for the past few days. Just a little off, like it slid down the wall. But-" Raph trailed off with a frown. "Leo's been yawnin' a lot so Raph don't think he's been sleepin' again."
"There aren't monsters in his room!" Mikey declared, poking at the box with a blue ribbon sitting on Donnie's desk. "I checked!"
"There's no such thing as monsters. They don't exist." Donnie muttered, stalking over to snatch Leo's present and move it to a higher shelf. "And don't touch that, you'll break it!"
Mikey stuck out his tongue. "Humans don't think turtle mutants are real, but we're right here!"
Donnie opened his mouth to argue...and then closed it again. His little brother did have a point. 'A dum-dum point, but a point nonetheless.' Sighing through his nose, Donnie returned to the whiteboard. "Returning to the actual point," he began, relieved when the marker worked this time. "Nardo is proven to still have sleeping trouble, and is attempting to train using weaponry that isn't his without telling us." He tapped the empty spot under 'Hypothesis' thoughtfully. "What could all this mean..."
A knock on the door pulled Donnie out of his thoughts as Mikey rushed to open it. He squealed in delight. "Dad, you're back!"
"Indeed I am," Dad agreed as he stepped inside, Mikey clinging to his leg. "Could one of you go watch your brother? He's supposed to be under the heat lamp, but-"
"I'll go," Raph volunteered. They all knew how Leo would try to spend five minutes warming up before trying to get up and do chores around the lair.
'Leo's the one always telling us how dangerous the cold can be for turtles, but those rules just don't apply to him for some reason,' Donnie ranted in his mind. Would it kill Leo to just sit there under the heat lamp and bask, maybe even take a little nap?!
"Me too!" Mikey volunteered. "I'll ask him to read me Jupiter Jim! We have a new comic!"
"An excellent idea," Dad praised, making the box turtle beam before he rushed to his room. Raph was already climbing up to the den, where they'd set up the heat lamp this year. The smile faded though, and Dad tapped the door shut with his tail. "Donnie, we need to talk."
"About what?" It had been long enough that Donnie was 95% sure that he wasn't in trouble every time Dad wanted to talk to him, but part of him was still nervous at having his dad's undivided attention. He wondered if that would ever go away.
"When we were coming home today, Leo asked me an...odd question. He was worried that you were upset with him," Dad explained.
"I am upset." Donnie pointed at the whiteboard. "Leo is still acting weird and sad and something is clearly wrong and we can't fix it so you should agree that is very upsetting!"
"It is, it is," Dad soothed. "But that is not what I meant. Leo specifically asked if you were upset with him for trying to steal your birthday."
"Oh." Donnie's stomach did that weird thing that happened whenever he thought about that day, how he'd yelled at Leo and then Leo had left mad and come out like...this. It felt like that time he'd eaten something bad and thrown up, and Donnie hated throwing up. But he wasn't angry with Leo. At least, he thought he wasn't. "Leo wasn't trying to steal it, though. He wanted to share with me because he thinks I'm cool." That part made Donnie feel warm and he started dancing a little. He loved dancing, dancing was great! "So Leo's wrong, I'm not mad."
Dad nodded and smiled. "That's good, Donnie. But perhaps you could mention that to Leo?" Donnie shrugged, that wouldn't be hard. "Good. Now, I also wanted to ask you what flavor of cake you wanted for tomorrow."
"Um, what did Leo pick?" If there were going to be two cakes, or maybe a cake with two flavors, then Donnie didn't want to pick the same one. Why be boring? He turned to begin fiddling with his battle shell plans. (He had some ideas for tiny mechanical arms to help build things which were going to be so cool and-)
"What? Why would Leo choose your cake flavor?"
Donnie paused and rolled his eyes at his dad. "Because it's his birthday too. We're twins." Yes, they didn't meet the actual definition of twins most people used, but Donnie had read the dictionary! Another commonly used definition for twins was "one of two persons or things closely related to or resembling each other", and Leo and Donnie were two people who closely resembled each other. So they could be twins, it made sense, Donnie had decided. (And then maybe Leo would be happy because if Donnie had caused this by saying he didn't want to be Leo's twin (which he probably hadn't because Leo had been fine after the fight), then this would fix it. And Leo would be normal again because Donnie had fixed it.)
There was a silence, but Donnie wasn't bothered by it. Dad was probably embarrassed that he'd forgotten. But that was fine, Donnie hadn't forgotten and- A hand on his plans made him look up at Splinter. "Donatello," Dad said slowly. "Tomorrow is not Leonardo's birthday."
'What.' Donnie stared at his father, but he didn't laugh or say it was a joke that Donnie hadn't gotten. Which meant it was serious. "That's wrong," Donnie declared, jumping off his stool and rushing to the door. "You're wrong and I'll prove it!"
"Donnie!" But Donnie ignored his father's call and rapidly scrambled up the ladder. 'Dad's wrong. He has to be wrong. Leo and I are twins and tomorrow is our birthday and he'll be happy so Dad's wrong. Wrong wrong wrong!'
He rushed into the den, where Leo was sprawled on his stomach, reading aloud from Jupiter Jim. Mikey and Raph huddled around him, enjoying the warmth of the heat lamp. "'And then-'" Leo looked up at the sound of Donnie's footsteps and paused. "Donnie? What's wrong?" He tried to get up, but Mikey threw himself across the slider's back.
"No! Dad says to stay under the heat lamp!" But Raph was able to stand, slowly approaching as if Donnie would need a...hug. (Ugh.)
"Donnie? Did something happen?"
But Donnie ignored Raph, eyes and mind locked on Leo. "Tomorrow is your birthday."
"Huh?" Leo looked confused, and that only made Donnie more upset.
"Tomorrow. Is. Your. Birthday. You picked 11/23 as your birthday, same as me, and thus we share a birthday. Right, Nardo!?"
This was the part where Leo was supposed to agree. To smile and nod and say that Donnie was right because Donnie was always right. But instead, Leo dropped his eyes to the floor and shook his head. "It's not. It's your birthday, Donnie, not mine. We-" He looked up and gave the smile that Donnie hated. The wobbly and shaky one that Leo had been given for months because Donnie hadn't found the way to fix it yet. "We're not twins, Donnie."
No. No, this was wrong. "Change it."
"Donnie," Raph began, reaching out to touch him only for Donnie to slap his hand away.
"Change it, Leo." Donnie ordered. "You haven't had your birthday yet; we haven't had a party or given you gifts so it hasn't happened yet. We changed birthdays once so change it again. Your birthday is tomorrow." And Leo, Leo who had spent months following along with whatever his brothers wanted, never denying them, shook his head. "Change it now, Leo!"
"No," Leo whispered. "Y-you don't have to do this, Donnie. It's your day. Your day that you d-don't have to share with anyone."
Donnie vaguely recognized the words, words he'd said to Leo in rage before he knew, before he understood... And then everything boiling and bubbling inside of the softshell came roaring out. "SCREAM OF RAGE!!!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Leo babbled, pressing his head to the floor as though bowing to a seething Donnie. "I'm sorry, it's my fault, it's all my fault, I'm sorry, I'm sor-"
"Leo, no!" Mikey begged, clinging to Leo's back with tears in his eyes. "Leo, don't cry!"
"It's alright, Leo," Raph tried to soothe, but Leo ignored him, just repeated his apology over and over.
Donnie just stared down at him, panting and full of feelings that he couldn't name. 'Why are you like this? Why are you doing this? Why are you not letting me fix things? Why are you letting yourself hurt when I can fix things? Why won't you let me fix them, Leo!? WHY WON'T YOU LET ME HELP YOU!?'
"Donatello." The sound of his name in that flat tone made Donnie flinch and slowly turn around. Dad was standing there with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. "Come here." Gritting his teeth, Donnie stalked over to his father, who called to his other sons. "Look after your brother. I'll be right back." Without touching him, Dad carefully ushered Donnie away into the kitchen. Guiding the softshell into a chair, he sat on the floor in front of his son. "Donnie-"
"It's not fair!" Donnie exploded, cutting off the lecture. "Leo's the one who wanted this; he's the one who demanded it months ago! And now that I want it, he doesn't!? It doesn't make sense!" His hands scratched at his arms, trying to cut through cloth to the flesh beneath. "He hasn't been able to say no to anything in months and he says it now!? When it's important!? Leo thinks I'm cool; he said so! Multiple times! 27 to be exact!" Donnie knew; he'd been keeping count. "Why did he change his mind!? Why doesn't he want to share a birthday anymore!? Why doesn't he want to be twins anymore!?" He vaguely registered the moisture sliding down his cheeks, dripping onto his sweatshirt. "W-wh-why won't he let me h-help?"
And to Donnie's utter shame, he burst into tears. He couldn't fix it. He didn't know how. He was the smart one and the cool one and he couldn't fix Leo, couldn't help Leo, who was hurting and crying and not sleeping and what was Donnie if he couldn't fix things!? If he couldn't make things better for his family?
"Oh, my Purple," Donnie heard his father coo. "Can I hug you? Is that alright?" Normally, Donnie hated hugs. But this time, he launched himself from his chair into his father's waiting arms, crying all the while. He wept into his father's robe as warm hands firmly rubbed his shell. "Let it out, my son. Let it all out."
Eventually, the storm of feelings roiling in Donnie cleared, and the turtle pulled back from his father with fogged-up glasses. "I can't see," he said hoarsely, sniffling. Chuckling, his dad carefully slipped off the glasses and rubbed them clean before returning them to Donnie's face. "Thanks Papa."
"You're welcome. Now, Donatello." Donnie sighed. No escaping the lecture then. "You know you will have to apologize to Leo." Dad held up a hand when Donnie tried to protest. "We cannot force him to change his birthday now that he's decided not to share yours."
'But I can't fix it unless we're twins!' Donnie wanted to explain, but he was interrupted by Raph coughing at the door.
The snapper slowly walked inside, hands twisting in the center pocket of his red hoodie. "Uh, Dad? We got a problem. Leo...uh...Leo doesn't have a birthday."
"WHAT!?" Donnie and Splinter shouted in unison.
Raph threw up his hands. "Raph knows, but Mikey asked Leo when his birthday was 'cause he went to check the calendar and couldn't find Leo on it and Leo did that thing he does where he doesn't answer 'cause he don't wanna lie and-"
"Dad!" Donnie tugged at his dad's sleeve. "Dad, Leo needs a birthday!"
Dad was already getting up. "Leo is still at the heat lamp?" he asked Raph, who nodded. "Good. Let's go."
Leo was indeed under the heat lamp. Mikey had climbed off him at some point and was now sitting in front of Leo, pouting angrily. The slider was staring at the floor, fiddling with his hands and eyes red. Something slimy and unpleasant curled up in Donnie's gut, so he stalked over to lay at Leo's side, their bodies barely touching. "I didn't mean to yell," he mumbled, not looking at his...at Leo. "I didn't mean to make you sad."
"I know," Leo whispered back. "I'm sorry, Donnie. Really really sorry. It's my fault." Donnie was really really really starting to hate those words, especially when Leo said them. But he didn't respond, just pressed a little harder into Leo's side as Raph and Dad sat in front of them.
"Leonardo." Leo flinched. "Your brothers have said you have not picked your birthday. I remember you telling me months ago that you did not want to share with Donnie anymore." This time, it was Donnie gritting his teeth to hide his upset. "Did you not pick a new day at that time?" Donnie watched as Leo swallowed, and then slowly shook his head. Dad slowly exhaled. "Why did you not pick a new birthday?"
"I...I don't need one." That was not the answer Donnie was expecting, and he bit down on his tongue so he wouldn't start screaming again.
Mikey had no such qualms. "B-but you need a birthday! You can't be six forever!!! And we already have your presents! I got you-" Mikey gasped and slapped his hands over his mouth. "I can't tell you! It has to be a surprise!"
"I-I'll still get older, Mikey," Leo whispered. "I just...don't need a party or anything." He gave that wobbly smile again. "Y-you don't need to do anything special for me or anything."
Donnie growled a little and pressed against Leo even harder, as though he could absorb all the bad things in Leo and destroy them. (Which wasn't logical or scientific at all, emotions were stupid.) Raph, however, leaned forward to grab Leo's shoulder. "But Leo, we wanna do that. We wanna do something special for ya. That's what your birthday is, right?" Raph smiled. "A day that's all about you!"
"But it's not about me." Leo blinked as everyone just stared at him before quickly adding, "And I was being selfish and stupid by trying to share Donnie's day, it's not like we're actually twins or anything and I don't deserve a party or anything like that after I was-"
"Leo." The slider quieted as their father spoke up. "You are not selfish or stupid. And you will always deserve a birthday party." Leo's lower lip quivered and he shook his head, but he didn't say anything to their father. Dad sighed again. "Now Leo, will you choose a birthday?"
"He can't," Donnie spoke up, already seeing what Leo could do. "He'll just pick a day we've already gone past so we won't get to celebrate." Leo gave him a wide-eyed and guilty look and Donnie smirked. 'Yeah, I know how you think, Leo.'
Raph scowled. "Well, that ain't right!"
"We can pick!" Mikey bounced up and down at the thought. "We can pick the best day for Leo. Liiiiike...Christmas!"
"Horrified scoff! We are not letting Leo share a birthday with a holiday! He deserves his own day!" Mind already plotting, Donnie got to his feet. "Give me 24 hours to do some research and I will pick the perfect day for Leo's birthday."
"Not tomorrow!" Everyone turned to stare at Leo, who was now giving Donnie a defiant look. "I-I'm not stealing your birthday, Donnie! I won't!"
"Fiiine," Donnie drawled, only letting it go because Dad was giving him a warning look from where Leo couldn't see. "I will pick the second most perfect day then." And with that, Donnie hurried off to his room. He had research to do!
Leo's Room
Early Morning
Leo reached under the bed and tugged out the box he'd hidden underneath last night. He carefully attached the dark purple bow to Donnie's present. "Perfect," Leo whispered, shooting a smile up at Skye, who was sitting on his pillow. "Donnie will love it."
There was a grinding noise and Leo poked his head out from behind his curtains. Sure enough, Donnie was already stepping out into the atrium. Leo quickly joined him, his present in his hands. "Happy birthday, Donnie." He hadn't seen his brother since last night, where he'd wolfed down their dinner without tasting it before rushing back to his room. To pick Leo's birthday. 'He said he wouldn't pick today. I won't steal it this time. I'm being better!'
"Morning, Nardo," Donnie said absently, eyes locked on the calendar hanging from the wall. He stalked towards it, a pen already in hand. "Are you ready to learn your day of birth?"
"Y-you picked a day?" A part of Leo wanted to protest, but he shoved it down. He was the one that messed up, and showed he was too selfish to pick his own birthday. So having Donnie pick would be right, right? 'Maybe he's going to pick a day with a bad meaning or something? I'd deserve that.'
"Dramatic sigh. Since you wouldn't allow me to pick the obviously correct option," Donnie began. "I had to go with the next best choice." He scribbled something down and stepped away. "Behold! Your birthday!"
Leo stared at the calendar page for November. Written in Donnie's most dramatic handwriting was Leo's name, right next to Donnie's. "B-but that's tomorrow!?"
"Indeed it is," Donnie preened. "And did you know, Leonardo, that there are plenty of twins out there who are born on different days?" Leo's eyes flew to Donnie, who was giving him a slightly feral smile. "Oh yes. Some twins have one born before midnight and one after, giving them different birthdays while still leaving them twins." He leaned forward, eyes glinting behind his glasses. "So we both get what we want. A special day for both of us, and still being twins."
"B-but...but..." Leo stammered. "But we're different species!" 'And I don't deserve it! And you don't want it, not in my 'memories' and not now so why are you acting like you do!?'
"It doesn't matter. Listen to your older and smarter twin, Leo." Leo tried to respond, but was cut off by someone jumping onto his shell from behind. "Ah, morning Angelo."
"Hi Donnie! Happy birthday!" Mikey looked at the calendar and squealed in Leo's ear. "Leo's birthday's tomorrow!!! Two days of cake! And I have the best present!"
"Hardly!" Donnie scoffed. "There is a 0% chance that your present will be better than mine."
"Oh, Leo's got a birthday?" Now Raph was leaning in to stare at the calendar. "Huh. Nice job, Dee. Happy birthday."
"Thank you Raphala, though I see only Leo has come bearing proper tribute." Donnie nudged at the present still in Leo's hands. "Now come. Let's awaken dear Papa and the celebration can commence!"
Swallowing, Leo watched his brothers race off before looking at his birthday. His new birthday. And then he turned to follow his family. It was Donnie's birthday, and what mattered was making sure he had a happy one.