Chapter Text
Ned looks up to see this guy standing over his table. He's familiar and out of place in his memory. His angular jaw, the evident sense of friendliness in his, squinted eyes, inspire the feeling that he knows him. Then he sees the flowers in his hand.
"You're flower boy- from my party-" Ned says slowly, pointing at him.
The guy looks embarrassed, like he didn't expect him to remember they'd met. "MJ called you Nerd-", The guy's face twists into something like agony, "Sorry- I'm Ned." He says hand up in a way that would imply they should shake but it seems oddly formal at a 24 hour super market considering the earlier circumstances of their meeting. He takes it back and Peter watches him like a hawk.
He nods slowly. "No- I remember- I sort of got too in my head at the party- I just- blurted the first name that came to me-"
Ned is sure he's looking at him in confusion because he takes a moment to breathe and rephrases it. "My name's Peter. I don't know why I said it wasn't- I guess I was just-"
"Nervous?" Ned finishes for him.
"Yeah." Peter breathes out shifting the flowers from his right hand to his left.
"Do you- want to sit down?" Ned finds himself asking, kicking the legs of the stool in front of him out.
Peter nods and takes a seat. It's only then that he realises that he's got multiple scrapes and cuts on his face. The hand that he's placed on the counter is bruised and purple.
He realises that Ned's staring and pulls his hand back, below the table where he can't see.
"Why were you nervous?" Ned blurts out before he can really think too much.
He looks struck for a moment, looking down and away. "I don't have- a lot of friends." He admits and Ned believes him. There's something about the slight nod he gives after he answers, like he's accepting that it's true.
"Oh- uh- sorry about that man." He says scratching the back of his hair.
"It's not your fault." He says immediately, his hand is back on the counter, almost touching his. He's looking him in the eyes now, like he's trying to tell him he can't be sorry about it.
"I know- I mean it's a nice thing to say right?" Ned says.
"Yeah. Yeah." Peter says, withdrawing his hand slowly, and their conversation reaches a natural lull. Peter looks like he wants to leave. Be anywhere but here. Nothing about that makes sense.
"Going to another house warming?" Ned asks abruptly, pointing downwards towards the flowers.
"Huh?", He says looking dazed, like he didn't think their lack of conversation was boring at all, then he lifts them, like he forgot he had them, "Oh. No- They're- for my aunt."
Ned doesn't know where to go from here it's almost impossible, trying to have a conversation with this Peter. Still he leans his elbow on the counter and gives him a smile. "I'm kind of jealous- thought those for me."
Peter looks completely frozen for a moment then his handsome face twists into a grin. "Which do you like?"
"Oh.", Ned moves back, looking behind Peter, there's carnations, sunflowers, daffodils and.. ,"Tulips."
He has never once thought about flowers too deeply. Never once has the idea of a favourite crossed his mind, but the answer feels immediate. Right on the tip of his tongue.
Peter has an increasingly concerning way of looking at him. Like he's- seeing past him. "You don't actually need to buy them for me- I'm joking-" Ned assures him.
"Oh." He deflates, picking at the plastic that holds the flowers. It's kind of cute almost, like he's actually disappointed, then he talks without prompting.
"I buy them every day. My aunt's dead." It's disjointed, like he really hasn't talked to anyone in a while. Like it's something he needs to confess. Ned doesn't know what to say. "Oh." Is all that comes out.
Peter nods. "It's- it's been hard. She always knew what to say- what I should do. And now I don't- i guess I didn't know for a long time. Do you think she'd be sad?"
This whole scenario is weird. He isn't talking to him like it's their second conversation. But he asks him like Ned actually knows what to say to make him feel better.
"I- uh- " Ned looks at his now cold bowl of noddles, tremble at the small shakes of the uneven legs of the table.
Peter lets out a small sigh like he shouldn't have expected anything more. Something about it makes Ned annoyed.
"I should go see her- sorry for interrupting your lunch-" Peter says standing up.
He should say 'it's not a problem', 'you're not interrupting' or something else someone decent and polite wouldn't have to think for more than a second to say. Instead he nods dumbfounded as Peter walks to the cash register and buys the flowers, along with a bottle of sharkfire. As he's leaving the store he gives him a small smile and walks out.
Ned follows and calls after him. "Peter!"
He looks back immediately, eyes almost unbelieving, as he walks towards Ned, flowers nestled in the junction of his arm.
"What's wrong?" He asks, like he's about to tell him he hasn't paid for the flowers, or that he's going to tell him about the horrible effects of trying sharkfire. Something tells him he doesn't seem to get too much good news.
"Do you mind if I come with?"
"Someone to meet?" He asks concerned.
"No- I figure your aunt would like another visitor."
Peter blinks at him. It was an objectively stupid thing to say. Nothing he said about his aunt indicates she enjoyed random people's company.
Luckily for him, Peter seems to think he's cast his aunt accurately and his face turns bright.
"She'd love that." He says.
______________
"It's a really pretty spot." Ned finds himself saying as Peter bends down to put the flowers by the tombstone.
"Yeah." He agrees, touching his lips against two fingers and pressing it against his aunt's name for a moment. Then he stands up, almost unsure what to do now that Ned is here.
"Do you want to walk around?" Peter asks, shoving his hands into his pockets roughly.
Ned stares at the headstone, the name 'May Parker' ringing something far away from the part of his brain that can remember things.
"You're- not my neighbour are you?", Ned asks, looking up towards him. He has a guilty face that all but confirms it, "I mean- unless you're secretly the nice lesbians living from across us which I don't think you are."
"No." Peter says shaking his head.
"Why?" He asks simply. He's not sure how much of the truth he's getting from him considering everything he knows about him, other than his new name and aunt has been a lie.
Peter looks pained, he opens and he opens his mouth like he's going to say something. Then he settles on something, tucking his lips into his mouth, it's strangely easy to read him. His face is so open for someone so accustomed to lying.
He attempts again. "Do you remember me?" Peter asks meeting his eyes. It makes Ned feel strangely vulnerable.
He almost forgets the question.
"You came to our party. Mine and MJ's.", Ned says. That's all there to it. But Peter is staring at him like he's hoping there's more, "Peter. Did we- do we know each other?"
"Yeah." ,Peter breathes out, "Yeah." He repeats as if he's an adult talking to a kid, coaxing him towards the answer. Its all making him feel a little stupid.
"Are you a stalker or something? Because-" Ned begins before Peter's eyes widen and he raises his hands like he's trying to push the accusation away.
"NO!" ,He yells, then he calms himself down, "Can we- can we walk? I don't- wanna do this in front of her."
'May Parker' the name means something. "Okay." He agrees as they turn and walk the opposite way from where they entered the section.
"You said Spiderman saved you- a couple of times." Peter begins. He must know that it's his weakness, talking about Spiderman.
"Yeah my friend MJ and our class- I guess I thought that he had to be this guy in our class, Flash. He was a dick most of the time- but it's weirdly the only thing that made sense. You know- cuz of night monkey- I'm pretty sure he was Spiderman.", Ned rambles, "I'm 90% confident in that one."
Peter laughs and Ned is reminded again that's he's as young as him. Probably the same age.
"Isn't Flash a huge fan of spiderman? He saved him once didn't he?"
"See that's true- but I have it on pretty good authority that it's his assistant-" Ned says, the next question immediately going to be on how he knows Flash Thompson. Maybe he's a spiderman nut too.
"What authority is that?" He asks, clearly amused.
"It's an educated guess- and the fact that he's clearly got help- Tony Stark-", He's counting the list on his fingers, "Dr Strange- and the Avengers- "
"They're- ", Peter stops him, placing his hand over Ned's 'list'. His hands are sharp almost- like sections of skin peeled off unevenly, "The Avengers and- the rest they helped him- yeah that's true but he had people- friends, his- "
"Guy in the chair-" Ned finishes.
Peter's rough hand is still over his, now squeezing it a little tighter. They've stopped walking now.
"Yeah. Exactly- that." Peter says, turning to face him.
"Oh my god. You're spiderman's guy in the chair?!" Ned yells pointing at him.
Peter looks a little annoyed now and motions for him to calm down. He's forgotten for a moment where they are.
"I'm not- no I don't work with Spiderman.", Peter looks around impatiently, "Jesus Ned."
Suddenly Ned is struck by the thought. He's in an isolated place with this guy who seems to know a lot about him and is increasingly acting stranger and stranger. Maybe asking him to come along was not one of Ned's best ideas.
"Listen- you seem like a nice-", Ned stops and shakes his head, "No. I don't even know what kind of guy you are- If you're planning to kill me or something- my friend MJ knows exactly where I am and she's crazy-" He's backing away from him slowly but Peter follows, hand twitching slightly.
"I'm not planning to kill you Ned- you asked to come with me. Why did you do that?" Peter asks like he knows the answer and Ned doesn't.
"I don't know- I'm stupid. I see a cute guy with flowers and assumed he was maybe into me- that's my bad." Ned finishes turning back and walking away.
"What? No- I- Ned-" Peter calls from behind him. He starts going faster until he's full on running away from him, trying to make sure he doesn't skid on the dirt ground. The way Peter's built means he's going to catch up to him soon, if he can just find someone else, maybe-
He trips, bracing his arms infront of his face. Nothing happens, there's no dirt, just the feeling of something holding onto his back keeping him from falling. Then he's pulled back against Peter's chest, the other man's breathing right above into his hair.
"What the fuck-", Ned says turning back to see the sticky filament on his back, "WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"YOU'RE SPIDERMAN??" Ned motions towards him while he tries to pull the webbing off of his sweater.
"I was trying to tell you." Peter says with a weak smile.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU START WITH THAT?!"
Peter looks like he's considering Ned's question.
"But- why are you- how am I- we hung out yesterday.", He settles on lamely, "You could have just- showed me then-"
"I know. I know. I just wanted to- it was nice. Just being with the two of you. I didn't want to ruin that."
"Why would- you being a random guy who came to my party ruin anything?", Ned asks, "Unless-"
"I'm not stalking you." He snaps, eyes turning greyish. Then they turn back to white, and he looks apologetic. "But- I've been looking at your posts- the ones MJ said no one cared about? I did."
Ned isn't sure what to make of this. Technically, he's been doing the same with Spiderman, figuring out where he's from- who he could be and places he's been spotted. But Ned? There's nothing special about him. Nothing spectacular or distinguishing for Spider-Man to care so much about.
"Ned?" Peter asks, voice dropping down to a whisper almost.
"MJ knows you." He realises.
"Yes." Peter agrees.
"She called you Peter- but why- why would Spiderman-"
"You were asking about my guy in the chair. I haven't had one for four years.", Peter interrupts, "It was you."
What?
"What?" Ned asks.
"You don't remember anything- because Mist- Doctor Strange made everyone forget. Made you and MJ forget.", Peter explains, "We were best friends- a team. And- and now you don't remember me.", he's tucking his lips in again, "It was my fault- I should have- told both of you everything- I promised. We were supposed to go to MIT." He sounds broken at that.
Ned opens his mouth. Closes it. Then he tries again. To think of something, anything that would make any of this make more sense or convince Peter stop making that face. Nothing comes to him.
"I know it's a lot. You don't have any reason to trust anything I'm saying."
The sentance hangs there between them, heavy and tangled.
But he's telling the truth. That much Ned is sure about. No matter how bizzare and impossible it sounds, he trusts that he's being honest. He doesn't know why.
He's taller than him, but standing there, hands stuffed into his navy hoodie, curly hair flat against his forehead, fresh cut on his cheeks, he looks something like a small rabbit, face twitching with concern.
"Okay."
"Okay?" Peter asks, brown eyes shining in the light.
"I believe you." ,Ned says, "But maybe- you could convince me more."
"How?" Peter asks, head perking up.
"You could- show me the web shooters- you know since you're Spider-Man." Ned smiles.
"Oh.", Peter pulls his sleeves up, "I actually grew out of them." He shows him a perfectly pale wrist, then something shoots out, grabbing onto the lamp above them. Ned stares at it and back at Peter.
"It's gross I know." Peter says pulling his hand back, disconnecting the threads, letting it hang on the lamp. It swings with the breeze.
Ned walks up to him and takes his arm, twisting and lifting it to find the source of the webs. He finds it on the connection of his hand and arm. A small hole.
"Is that it?", Ned asks touching the opening gently, the other man squirms, "Does it hurt?"
"No- it's just- weird feeling. Sensitive." He explains, closing his eyes. His face has turned a shade of blotchy pink.
"Why didn't you come find us?" ,Ned asks, taking his other hand, tracing the divots on both, "Why now?"
"I- hah-", Peter breathes out shakily, "needed you."
The words themselves are innocuous. His expression and the tremble of his voice could suggest to anyone else that something else was going on. Ned lets go and Peter breathes in shakily.
"And MJ?" Ned asks
"It was mostly me and you before. She figured it out pretty soon after. Then it was the three of us." Peter says.
"How did she take it?" Ned asks.
Peter laughs, a wet little sound. "Great. She took it great.", He breathes through his teeth, "Better than I deserved."
It's loaded. Everything he says feels like it's a land mine of questions and emotions waiting to explode.
"How'd I take it?" Ned asks.
"Good." Peter smiles, his eyes crinkle, and Ned thinks he might cry now.
He doesn't. Instead they walk. He's only known Peter for all of an hour and a half, but something tells him he's agonising over this as they lumber in silence.
When they're almost to the gate, the sun has set, making the whole place dark.
"Give me a second-" Peter says walking into a dark patch of greenery and coming out with his mask over his hoodie.
"You actually look really cool.", Ned says looking him up and down. The mechanical eyes shutter open slightly as if embarrassed, "Spider-Man New York- you know like your winter suit." The winter suit just has the additions of a black beenie and gloves. When he first debut the look, the Spider-Man forum was flooding with how he managed to web things through the material.
Peter laughs. "You should see my summer suit then- I mean it wasn't really a suit- Black Widow has this stupid rule in her office- which is just a bath house- so I had to take off my suit- I only had the hood on- it was very embarrassing." By the end he's still got a smile but it seems that he realises the story isn't that funny.
For a second Ned's brain supplies him with that mental image and he clears his throat. The suit's eyes look like they're blinking. Then he holds his arm out. Ned takes it, confused.
"Just hold on tight- and try not to scream." Peter mumbles pulling him closer and wrapping an arm around his waist. Ned's arms come around his neck and he locks his fingers together. Spiderman shoots at something behind him and launches them into the sky.
The wind whistles sharply around them. There's a rhythm to it- the way Spider-Man moves. He's mumbling under his breath; "Shoot" and "Pull" right before he does it.
The buildings blend into each other, neon and glass, indistinguishable from the other, almost like Ned can touch it and feel it slip away like water.
The noise is something he's afraid he can't get used to. It's blaring from every which direction; from the traffic below, the helicopters above, the wind and another coming from Peter, not loud enough to drown anything else out but constant enough to feel less terrified. He pulls himself closer, trying to smother the noise with his hoodie. Peter notices and tightens the arm around his waist, pressing him flat against his chest.
The Spider-Man he remembers has done this too, maybe for a few seconds to get him to safety. He doesn't remember this with Peter but it feels so familiar, the feeling of the weight leaving his body, the only thing tactile that tethers him to reality is the other man. He's sure this has happened before.
Then Ned spots his apartment and Peter swings lower, dropping them gently onto the pavement. Peter's hand taps his hip, as if telling him to let of him.
Someone walking past stares at Spider-Man as they're walking.
"It's loud at night. And morning- and evenings- it's loud most of the times." Peter settles on.
"Do you get any sleep?" Ned asks, hand instinctively reaching for the wide eyes of the mask. The shutters go wide again, and he pulls back.
"If I'm awake- I'm outside." He admits.
He knows Spiderman's on the job a lot more than he's not. There were only a couple of days he wasn't spotted and everyone had seen the reason on headlines. Fighting with Juggernaut had put him out of commission for atleast three days. Then he was back up with a badly patched up suit and a limp that he refused to let slow him down.
"That's not-"
"Healthy?" Peter finishes this time.
"You're punishing yourself.",Ned realises, "Because of your aunt-"
"It's not for her." ,Peter says gently, "She wouldn't- like this- version of me. I- I keep telling myself it's for her. But it's not.", His eyes fold down, "I can keep everyone at arms length because she died."
They're quiet again. Being with Peter isn't as exciting as Spider-Man, in fact it's awkward, confusing and sad.
He's not sure how to comfort him. Nothing seems like the right response. If they were close, maybe a hug would be appropriate. If it was MJ, he'd try to get her to come outside with him, after a while of silence she'd break and end up telling him everything.
"Do you- want to come up?", Ned asks, "I can make you some coffee or something-"
"No- I don't want to bother you-", He turns slightly away from him, "Or MJ."
"She's staying out." ,Ned insists, grabbing his wrist. "I'm all by myself."
Peter takes a moment. Then he turns and gives him a nod.
____________
It's been an hour since, what was supposed to be coffee turned into ordering dinner. They're waiting for it by watching starwars movies.
They sit on the couch, with a gap that they've decided to ignore.
"Peter?" Ned asks.
"Hm?" He responds, head tilting towards him against the foam. The room's dark and the light reflects off of his eyes. His whole face looks like he's waiting on bated breath to hear what he has to say.
"Sorry- I forgot." Ned apologises.
Peter's smile is half pressed to the couch as he closes his eyes. "You're exactly how I remember you."
By the time dinner is delivered, Peter is asleep, and Ned decides he's not all that hungry, settling to blankly stare at the screen, using it as white noise to think.
Peter shifts in his sleep, head jerking suddenly in a repeated motion. The position must be uncomfortable so he tries to lay him down. The second Ned reaches for him, his eyes open, glassy and drunk on sleep. Still he looks terrified until he sees Ned.
"You're okay- you're with me." Ned says motioning to him that everything is fine.
"Ned?" He asks, reaching his hands out to his face. He's patting the skin of his cheeks, then his hands touch his shoulder and squeeze. He's checking if he's really there. Ned lets him perform his inspection.
"I'm real." Ned finds himself saying.
Peter's lips part, then he presses them close. He nods. Hesitantly he lets his head fall onto Ned's shoulder. He takes a shaky breath in and breathes out a relieved little noise. Ned brings his arms around him and Peter almost melts into the gesture, hands coming up to his waist. They stay there for a few moments until he realises Peter's fallen asleep. Ned places him sleeping the couch and sits by his side. Peter doesn't move anymore.
"I wish I remembered you." Ned says as Peter begins snoring softly.
_______________
"Starwars marathon again?" MJ asks letting her bag fall to the ground as she flops onto the couch.
"Yeah." Ned says rubbing his eyes.
"You said you quit." She says ponting at the bottle of Sharkfire sitting on the counter.
"That may have been greatly exaggerated." Ned mumbles reaching for it. There's a scrawled on note below it.
'Thanks for letting me stay. Sorry I left without telling you.'
"Who's that from?" ,MJ asks reaching her hand out only for Ned to pull it back. She laughs, "Was it a booty call? Cuz you're obliged to tell me-"
"No- I mean. I did have someone over.", Ned wants to keep it close to himself but it's MJ. So he sighs, "Peter."
She sits up immediately. "Peter." She says slowly like she trying to make sure she isn't outing Spider-Man.
"Yeah. I know." Ned says tilting his head back on the couch.
She lets out a sigh. "Good. I don't like keeping things from you."
Ned hums.
"I'm angry at him." She says quietly. Ned looks at her. She's got her feet tucked in, head resting on her knees.
He lets her talk.
"He told me before the whole mind fuck thing. It's messing with me. I keep- feeling like something is missing.", She shakes her head, "I feel like you're missing too."
Ned frowns.
"It's like- I can't explain it- this empty feeling that I hate." She finishes.
"Like we don't make sense anymore." Ned says.
MJ looks at him. "Yeah."
"Do you remember how we became friends?" Ned asks suddenly.
MJ thinks, eyebrows furrowing. They both come up short. All they remember is being in the same class. Then they started to get to know each other on the trip. Then spiderman saved them. Everything is unraveling.
MJ places her hand on his shoulder. "Hey. There's no one else I would have gone to college with or want to live with."
But that's the issue isn't it. There was. There's a Peter shaped hole and now that they've noticed, it's harder to ignore.
Still Ned smiles and she pats his hair.