Chapter Text
Robert sighed hard as he looked at his phone, the group chat he got added to by Prism for both the GD-Team and Z-Team were relentless in it
Dadbod:What’s going on this time?
Notabitch:We’re debating if we should get our own merchandise
Bestpopstar:And then the oldies told us that they got their own
Thechild:We’re not old
Gaybug:Some of us are
Backupsinger2:Excuse you!
Dadbod:Okay so the problem here is that the Z-Team wants merch, but the GD-Team turns out to already have merch, is that the problem?
Bestpopstar:Yes
Dadbod:Jesus Christ you guys are like kids
Anactualmom:Robert half of us are older than you
Dadbod:Yeah I know, that's why I'm disappointed Helen
I’mscaredofgerms:Robert is there any actual emergencies
Dadbod:Barely, I don't like it that
Notabitch:Oh my god stop being so paranoid!
Demonfromearth’shell:Yeah Dad calm down!
Dadbod:No wait I just got a call, someone needs help with a rat problem
I’mscaredofgerms:I'm out
Knifedancer:Do the rats have to be alive?
Dadbod:Honestly the less rats in the world the better, go get them Coupé and Sonar
Crackneeder:WOOHOO! Free food!
Mombod:Corporate just asked me for a PR event this June
Andtheskindoesnotburn:Great…they want all homosexual heroes for a PR event don't they? -_-
Mombod:Yes
Andtheskindoesnotburn:Fu(|( that
Gaybug:Yeah no I'm good boss
Mombod:I honestly excepted that, anyone else?
Anactualgaydad:I’m good Mandy
Theyblow:Do I have to?
Mombod:No Alex you don't have to
Demonfromearth’shell:I'm out boss
Bestpopstar:I hate these stupid PR events, like we're already corporate superheroes now we got to sell our souls for PR events too?!?!?!
Mombod:Sorry Alice
Bestpopstar:Miss Blazer I'm not saying you're the problem, I just think it's stupid that we have to do this, we're superheroes that save everyone, now we got to do PR events so we can show that we're diverse!?
Mombod:Yes?
Bestpopstar:What’s next?! I got to kiss people who are from Europe!?
Mombod:...no?
Bestpopstar:FUCK! YOU HESITATED!
Bestpopstar has been muted 2 hours
I’mscaredofgerms:Guys, I'm British
Interloper:Yeah and you suck
Gaybug:You literally sucked up to him in the old days
Interloper:Because he has the same powers as me!
Gaybug:Doesn't mean you got to suck up to him
Bestpopstar:Yo I got like an actual question, why do like half of you old timers have the same exact powers?
Backupsinger1:I don’t know
Backupsinger2:Because we were both singers at one point in our lives?
Splishsplash:Yeah Clark! What the h3ll is that all about!?
Doublem:Shut up Sam
Fasterthanthespeedofsound:Better question, where do our power even come from!?
Beta-boy:$h!+, he's right
I’mscaredofgerms:Gentlemen and Ladies, people of earth and people from beyond. May I introduce to you, the personality theory
Notabitch:...what the fuck?
Notabitch has been muted for 1 hour and 30 minutes
Mombod:Can you elaborate please?
I’mscaredofgerms:Minus the following people:
Mandy
Robert
Malevola
Sonar
Golem
Royd
And Phenomenaman
Everyone here was born with powers, correct?
Maui:Sure bro
I’mscaredofgerms:Let's use my old team as an example
Gaybug:The fu(|(?! I never consented to that!
Lawyerman:Winston, you're not allowed too
Theyblow:Boss I'm not so sure
Interloper:Go right ahead
I’mscaredofgerms:Anyway, take me for example, as a therapist I have to look into people, so I have the ability to read minds and other mind powers, Alex is unpredictable of course they'll get wind powers, Victoria has always been a shocker so she gets plasma powers, lawyers have to look in deep so Simon gets laser eyes, and finally Brittany likes to control men so she also gets mind powers
Bestpopstar:Okay, so what about the rest of us?
I’mscaredofgerms:Chad, Jen, and Marcus are all hot heads, so they all get fire powers. Jackston is incredibly toxic, so he gets gamma radiation powers, Sarah always has her head in the sky since she's a teenager, so of course she gets the ability to fly. Sam is obsessed with the ocean, and he has water powers. And so on and so fourth
Bestpopstar:...shit you actually got a point
Bestpopstar has been muted for 2 hours
I’mscaredofgerms:Meanwhile those human or from earth were most likely born with those powers
Dadbod:That’s cool and all, but has anyone seen Beef?
Theyblow:Okay well Winston just let out the biggest scream imaginable so I imagine your fat chihuahua is with him