Work Text:
1:00 am
Ilya: heyy shane come 2 my wehding. its nxt mouth. pls come
The text illuminated the dark room he laid in. Shane wasn’t immune to getting texts late at night. Usually it was Rose or Hayden texting him after a night out. But this text was different. This text was someone different. It was someone he tried to believe he didn’t love anymore. Someone he never wanted to see again.
Ilya Rozanov.
Shane and Ilya hadn’t talked since Shane did something he thought was stupid. Ilya ended up going to school in Boston after landing a hockey scholarship and Shane went to school to become a doctor. Shane was happy for him even though deep down he knew they would never see each other again.
Shane and Ilya were really close to each other in high school. Shane didn’t know what to call what was going on between them. Not best friends. Not boyfriends. Just there for each other.
Ilya never had family that came to his hockey games, so Shane made sure he was there at every home game. He remembers after the games when Ilya would rush out the locker room to engulf Shane in a hug. They would then go to their favorite ice cream shop where a soft serve cone was only a dollar. They would soon find themselves swinging on the swings in the park, ice cream dripping onto their shirts. Ilya and him would talk till Shane’s curfew.
Why the fuck is he texting me? Shane thought.
It wasn’t till Shane reached for his glasses and read the text closer. He’s getting married.
Shane’s heart just about left his body. He felt empty. His phone dropped on the floor and Shane didn’t even bother to pick it up.
Why did you invite me to your wedding, Ilya?
Tears start to prickle in his eyes. Memories start to fill his mind. One memory in particular.
April, Senior year.
“Hello?”
“Shane, c-can you come ov-er. Please.” Ilya was on the phone, crying. Shane never thought he would witness Ilya crying.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming, don’t worry. Are you okay?” Shane stumbled out of his bed, put on shoes and a hoodie, and made his way down the stairs. Fuck it’s was midnight , he realized so he made his journey though the house quieter.
“I don’t know. I just need someone, Shane.” Ilya's voice was shaking over the phone. Shane was terrified. Was he hurt or in trouble?
“Okay, I’m in my car. I’ll be there soon.” Ilya muttered a quick reply and hung up the phone. On the way there it felt like he was hitting every red light possible. When he finally got to Ilya’s he parked his car and ran up to the door. Before he could even knock, he was being pulled into the house and wrapped in Ilya’s arms. Ilya was sobbing into him, overwhelmed with whatever was going on.
Once they were in Ilya’s room, he spilled everything on his mind.
“Fuck Shane, my dad might be dead and I can’t lose both my parents and I’m fucking freaking out and he wouldn’t wake up and I didn’t know what to do-”
“Ilya, calm down, okay. You’re going to have a panic attack. Come here.” Shane patted next to him on the edge of Ilya’s bed. “Come sit.”
Ilya sat next to him and leaned his head on Shane’s shoulder. Shane could feel Ilya’s heart beating at a million miles per minute. Shane knew what it was like to have panic attacks so he used a tool he knew would help a little.
“Ilya, look at me.” Ilya lifting his head to look at Shane in his eyes. His eyes were red and puffy. His nose was sniffley. His lips were cracked and bitten. To anyone, Ilya looked broken. But to Shane, he looked beautiful.
“Breathe with me okay.” Ilya nodded. Softly Shane started taking deep breaths. In 1…2…3… Out 1…2…3. Ilya followed. Shane's hand reached for Ilya’s. His hands were freezing and Shane’s warmth apparently helped.
Ilya’s eyes eventually opened after many deep breaths. Shane and Ilya sat on the edge of Ilya’s bed, holding hands, staring at each other. Shane didn’t know what happened, but his hand came up to Ilya’s face, drawing him in for a kiss. Ilya seemed shocked at first, but he started kissing back.
Oh shit. What was he doing? Shane’s lips detached and he stood up. “I’m so sorry.” Shane started leaving for his car. What the fuck did he just do. Ilya was literally just crying about his father almost dying and Shane kissed him. He kissed him.
“Shane, where are you going? Shane wait-”. Ilya’s voice was cut off by Shane’s car door shutting. Shane doesn’t think he’s ever driven this fast. He could barely see the road behind all his tears. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to look Ilya in the face ever again. Why did he ruin everything good in his life? Immediately when he got home he got into his bed and cried himself to sleep.
The next morning he woke up not realizing what time it was. He picked up his phone from the bedside table.
9:00 am
Fuck. He missed the bell. He rubbed his eyes to see a text his mom sent to him earlier in the morning.
7:00 am
Mom: Hey, honey. I heard you crying last night. Don’t worry about school today. I’m going to call the office to tell them you’re sick as soon as I reach work. I love you. Feel better, Shane. ❤️
Oh god. His mom heard him crying last night. At least he wasn’t going to school so he didn’t have to see Ilya today in his history class. Shit, last night really happened. He could never talk to Ilya again. Ilya wasn’t into boys. He was known around school for being a womanizer. Shane wanted to think that he didn’t know why he did what he did last night. But he knows why. Deep down he knows that he loves Ilya. More than he loves a lot of other things.
Ilya had a reputation for being rough and an asshole. But to Shane he wasn’t like that. He was so full of life. Constantly cracking jokes and talking his ear off. He was the type of person who looked so mean on the outside, but on the inside, so soft. One night Ilya opened up about his depression and told Shane about how his mother had died when he was younger. Then Shane told Ilya that he was gay. Shane was terrified about what he was going to say. But Ilya hugged him and told him “Thank you for letting me know.”
Now one of the best things that could’ve happened to him was gone. Shane wondered what the future would look like without him by his side.
Present
When Shane opened his eyes, they were met with the sun. He must have fallen asleep. His mind went straight to the text. Ilya was drunk, he knew that. He never had great grammar, but that text looked like it was written with very drunken intentions.
When Ilya moved to Boston for college he was immediately catching the eyes of a lot of NHL teams. After two years of playing in college he was drafted to the Boston Raiders.
He lived this lavish life. In the tabloid constantly. Arms wrapped around models, actors, you name it. To Shane’s surprise, he was seen with a lot of men too. But the tabloids get things wrong all the time.
Eventually, Ilya started dating the model Svetlana Vetrova. She was apparently a childhood friend of his. Shane remembers talking to him about her. After that Shane stopped paying attention to anything involved with Ilya. Once and while, he would catch himself watching a Raiders’ game. If it just so happened to be on the T.V.
Shane never responded to the text. He tried to go on with his everyday life. He still had work, school, and friends. But every night he couldn’t stop thinking about that stupid text from his stupid crush from high school.
A couple days went by and Shane was feeling good. Until his phone pinged with a text. He was on his way home after a long shift at the hospital. He almost crashed his car when he saw it was from Ilya. He pulled into his driveway and grabbed his phone to read the text. As soon as he read the text, he felt like throwing up.
9:30 pm
Ilya: Shane, I’m so sorry for that text. I was clearly drunk and not thinking right. The wedding is called off. Like you were going to come. Do you think we can meet up and talk? I miss you.
What. The. Fuck. Ilya just texted him. Sober. A part of Shane just wanted to leave Ilya on read and never mention this again. But an ever bigger part of him wanted to see Ilya after so many years. To talk to him and laugh with him. To be friends with him. Or maybe even more, if the tabloids are true. So he responded.
Shane: Hi, Ilya. I would love to talk. I’m sorry to hear about the wedding.
Tell me when we can meet up. I miss you too.
Ilya: omg shane you answered. I'm in town for a game in 3 days.
Does Saturday at 7 work?
Shane: Yeah, that works. Where?
Ilya: Bobbi’s?
Fuck, the ice cream place they used to go to after every home game.
Shane: Yeah. I’ll see you there.
Ilya: See you soon, Shane.
Shane couldn't believe what just happened. He’s actually going to see Ilya after so many years. Too many years. Just a couple of days till he sees his face and hears his voice again.
Saturday
Shane walks up to Bobbi’s searching for Ilya. He continues his search until he sees a tall man with a hat and a pair of sunglasses on. Ilya.
“Hey, Ilya.”
“Shane.” He hugs him so tight, Shane thinks he might stop breathing. He feels his neck getting wet with tears as Ilya hugs him. “God, you don’t know how much I missed you.” Shane wipes Ilya’s face dry then wipes his own face, after he unknowingly started crying as well.
“Ice cream?” Ilya nods and they make their way into the shop.
They walk out with cones in hand and out of habit walk to the swings in the park. Shane didn’t think he would be 23 swinging on swings in the park with an ice cream cone in his hand, but here he is.
“How are you?” Ilya breaks the silence.
“I’m good. I’m in medical school and it’s kicking my ass. And I’m working at the hospital trying to get my experience up. So, stressed but I’m doing good. How are you?”
“I’m okay. I mean, I guess I’m living the life I have always wanted. Playing in the NHL and travelling the country with my team. But I always felt like a part of me was missing. And after we called off the wedding, I knew I had to get that part of me back.” Ilya is now looking at Shane.
“And what was that missing part?” Shane asked curious about what Ilya was saying.
“You.” Ilya stood up and walked over to Shane. He bent down and kissed him. Shane kissed him so fast and tried to get up so Ilya wasn’t bending down, but his legs felt like jello and he fell right back down on the swing. Ilya helped him get up the second time and held onto him while he kissed him for what felt like hours. Soon Shane detached to get some air. All Ilya was doing was looking at his face, caressing his thumb up and down.
“I missed these freckles.” Ilya then looked Shane in the eyes. “Shane, you don’t know how much I needed you these past few years. My life had never fully been complete. The reason we called off the wedding is because we couldn’t see ourselves being married to each other. Not because me and Sveta hated each other, but because we both had people that we truly wanted to spend the rest of our lives with.” Ilya’s tears resumed.
“Shane, the person I see spending the rest of my life with is you.”
“Fuck, Ilya. I-I don’t-” Shane too was crying. His words struggled to come out.
“I love you, Shane. I’ve loved you since I walked into my history class late and the only seat open was next to you. I’ve loved you since we used to walk to get ice cream and sit on these swings after games. I’ve loved you forever and I love you now.”
“Ilya, I love you too. So much. And I’m sorry I stopped talking to you after that night. I was so shocked about what I did and I thought I made things worse. I was stupid. So stupid for leaving you. I promise to never do that again.” Ilya kissed Shane's forehead.
“Do you think we can try?” Ilya asked Shane after taking his lips off his head.
“Try what?”
“To be together. I know that with me traveling for hockey and you in school that it will be hard. But I’m willing to do anything for you, Shane. Anything.” Shane grabbed Ilya’s hand and held them in his.
“I would do anything for you too. Let’s try. We can call and text whenever we can and you can come see me whenever you’re playing around here. And maybe I can even go to Boston and go see a game.” Ilya wrapped Shane in a hug and placed his face in the crook of his neck.
“I love you, Shane”
“I love you, Ilya.”