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Even if he'll never admit it, Tony loves when May asks him to pick Peter up from school.
Solely because he likes spending time with the kid, even if they all know Peter definitely doesn't need to be picked up from school. And hanging out with his friend, Ted or Ed or Zed or something like that. Because apparently Tony picking up one teenager is the equivalent of waving around a giant sign that says 'free rides — first come first serve.'
Anyways, it definitely has nothing to do with the fact May always invites him in for a snack when he drops Peter off. Or the way she smiles at him, the fact the smile's only there because of him. (Or at least he can pretend it is.)
Definitely not. Nope.
Tony leans back in the seat, shutting his eyes as the bell rings. He can already hear the teenagers rushing out the door. He might as well take the peace he can get before any of them make it to him.
It takes 8 seconds before the passsenger door opens. New record. The previous one was 14, though it's usually about 23.
"Hey, Pete." He mutters, not opening his eyes.
He receives a simple "hey" in response, from a voice that definitely isn't Peter. Tony cracks open an eye, turning his head just enough to look at the girl sitting in his car. She's staring right back at him. Creepy.
"I'm MJ," the girl offers, simple, like she didn't just get into a complete strangers car. Does nobody have basic self-preservation skills nowadays? (Okay, actually, Tony's probably not one to talk, but still..)
Tony shuts his eye again before opening both of them. "…Tony."
"I know."
"You Pete's friend or am I about to get in trouble?"
"I have a question for you," she says instead of answering, resting her elbows on the back of the seat.
…Okay. So either he's about to get exploited, or he's about to get accused of something. Exactly what he wanted out of a Friday afternoon.
Tony sits up properly, turning in his seat to face her. "Go ahead."
"What are your intentions with May?"
…What?
Tony actually chokes on his own breath, a hand flying up to cover his mouth as he coughs.
"…I'm—I'm sorry," he says once he manages to calm down. "What?"
"May," MJ repeats. "Peter's aunt. I was told you've been flirting with her for, like, months."
Tony blinks at her a couple times. Who the fuck is this kid? Obviously a frend of Peter's. Has he mentioned an MJ before? Probably. But he talks about a lot of people..
"Peter says you get weird about her," MJ continues, either oblivious to his inner turmoil or unconcerned with it. "Overcompensating, Excessive gift-giving. It's obvious as hell."
Tony swallows. He's not obvious, first of all. He's very un-obvious, actually. Very low-key.
Second of all, "he talks about me?"
"All the time. It's annoying. But you're avoiding the topic."
"Am not—"
"Look." MJ leans a little closer, eyes narrowing. "May's good. She and Peter have been through enough. So if you're just screwin' around, stop. Now."
The grin that had been starting to form on his face drops as she speaks. Jesus. "I'm not," he says as soon as she's done talking. Who does she think he is? Actually, he doesn't think he wants the answer to that.
MJ's eyes scan over his face, the car falling silent as she looks for… whatever she's looking for.
"….Okay, good," she says after a second. "But if you hurt her—"
"—I won't—"
"—you'd be hurting Peter," MJ continues, talking right over him. "And if you hurt Peter, I will hurt you. And it will be painful. It will be the worst thing you've ever experienced. Trust me."
Tony blinks. Once, twice. That's.. a very high bar. Though, honestly, considering the kinds of people Peter hangs out with (very targeted statement) he wouldn't be too surprised if she manages to stick to her word.
"…is that a threat?" he asks, mostly because it's the only thing he can actually think to say at the moment. He's not about to confess his deepest darkest feelings to a teenager after all, especially not one who's first introduction revolved around intimidating him.
"It's a promise." MJ glares at him for a moment longer, then promptly climbs over the seats into the back. "Oh, also, you should get us ice cream."
"Yeah," Tony responds faintly, watching her through the rearview mirror now. "Sure, kid.."
"Suggest it when Peter gets here," she adds, pulling out her phone. "It'll get you brownie points."
Tony exhales, eyes moving to the front doors of the school. Did he really just get threatened by a high schooler? What has his life become?