Chapter Text
Winter rain trickled down the windows, and the soft pitter-patter of the droplets on the roof disrupted the otherwise quiet atmosphere of the city. Shops were closed for the holiday, so the streets looked more like a barren wasteland than the vibrant, bustling city it usually was. The only people on the streets were those making their way to their friends' parties or the tavern that refused to close. The cold begged to be let in to warm homes, fogging glass panes as a pleading attempt to get inside. The moon was already high in the sky, and the light of the last day of the year had long been gone.
The peace outdoors that craved for attention, knocking on the doors of dimly lit homes. The peace was not allowed inside tonight, though. Tonight was about partying, celebrating, and being loud and rowdy.
Alhaitham silently wished to open the door to his desired friend outside. But, alas, pots and pans were clanking on the steel of the sink as they were being put inside. The cabinets of drawers were closing and opening frantically, over and over again, the owner of the sound seeming to forget what they were searching for every time they looked inside.
The living room was calm, at least. And for that, Alhaitham was grateful. While his roommate panicked about what they would bring to the upcoming event, Alhaitham was cozied up on the divan under an overpriced jacquard throw blanket, reading one of his new books in his new pajamas– all of which Kaveh had gifted him just a few days ago.
“Alhaitham!” Kaveh called from the kitchen. Alhaitham only lowered his book slightly when he heard the sound of the back of his head hitting the corner of a door he forgot to close. “Ow..,” Kaveh mumbled quietly, rubbing the tender spot.
“What, Kaveh?” Alhaitham was already diving nose-first back onto the words on the page.
“We are leaving soon… Are you ready?” Kaveh emerged from the kitchen and stood not too far from his uninterested roommate, his hands sassily reserving their spot on his hips. “H-Hey!” Kaveh looked him up and down. He ripped the blanket off him with one harsh swish. “Alhaitham!”
Alhaitham groaned, rolling his eyes and throwing his head back. He would much rather stay in the safety of his own world rather than be surrounded by people with much stronger social batteries than his own. They would just drain him quicker than the day already has. “Do I have to go?”
Kaveh huffed, snootily pointing his nose to the sky. He tried to keep his eyes closed, but he couldn’t help but steal glances at the lazy scribe to check if he was making any effort to move. He wasn’t. “Yes, you were explicitly invited!”
Alhaitham begrudgingly forced his legs to move. He very lightly brushed his hands on Kaveh’s hips to move him out of his pathway and trudged to his room to change.
Of course, he had always planned on getting dressed and attending Cyno’s New Year's Eve party. He had already done his face, and his hair was as perfect as usual. He just enjoyed making Kaveh frustrated and annoyed whenever he saw the opportunity to. It was a little extra enjoyable when it was for an event they were due at shortly.
He emerged with his coat actually on his arms rather than hanging from his shoulders. “Ready?” He asked, looking up at Kaveh once he re-entered the kitchen. Kaveh was wrapping up something in a large tray when they met eyes. Kaveh nodded, and Alhaitham noticed him looking him up and down while he did so.
“Don’t push me! Why are you so excited to leave all of a sudden?!” Kaveh squeaked, protesting the way Alhaitham was playfully pushing him on his shoulder towards the door.
-
When Kaveh pushed open the door of Cyno’s residence, muffled music hit their ears, and a lively group of familiars was talking amongst themselves. Kaveh seemed to absorb the bustling environment and shine brighter than the sun, emanating the light of the atmosphere back into the room. Alhaitham, on the other hand, turned up the dial that controlled the level of noise that his headphones would filter.
Like a beaming ray of light, Kaveh smiled and immediately began greeting those who staggered around the front rooms. Alhaitham followed closely behind.
“Kaveh, Alhaitham!” A cool, relaxed voice hollered at them.
“Dehya!” Kaveh acknowledged her verbally, while Alhaitham pressed his lips together into a line that he considered a “friendly greeting”. Before they had entered the residence, Kaveh had scolded him about looking happy to be there and at least smiling at his friends, and not the half-assed straight line he called a smile. Alhaitham had just rolled his eyes and shrugged.
In all fairness, his friends knew he meant well, regardless of how bright his smile wasn’t. He saw no point in acting like someone he wasn’t.
“Alhaitham,” Kaveh nudged his hips with his sharp elbow. He handed Alhaitham the tray he was holding and tilted his head in the direction of the kitchen counter, where all the other food was. Alhaitham didn’t fancy the idea of separating from his roommate, but he obliged nonetheless.
While setting down the tray and unwrapping it to reveal a multitude of miniature tahchin cakes baked to perfection. A whiff of the sweet smell of the treats filled the room, calling the attention of hungry guests in the surrounding area. Salivating mouths scampered to get their hands on one.
Alhaitham startled when a hand grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it before he turned around.
“Alhaitham,” Cyno smiled, “I’m glad you came. I honestly didn’t expect you to.”
“Is that so? Do I give you the impression that I wouldn’t?”
“Yes,” Cyno answered bluntly.
Touche.
“Someone needs to drag a drunk Kaveh home, and that person had to be me,” Alhaitham shrugged. His eyes trailed over to where the blonde sat on the divan, his legs crossed and a drink already in his wildly moving hands as he talked.
Cyno’s arm rested over Alhaitham’s shoulder now. “Do you want a drink?”
Alhaitham contemplated for a moment or two. A few drinks wouldn’t hurt, especially in an overwhelming situation such as this. He could use a moderate relaxor to loosen his anxious shoulder blades.
Cyno was already handing him a bottle before he could agree to one.
“Thank you,” he nodded politely and took the glass of beer.
“Are you ready, Cyno? We are about to start.” Behind the general were a group of people gathered around the table with cards laid out in front of them. The voice belonged to someone with large ears and an eagerly wagging tail.
Cyno gave Alhaitham a few affirmative pats on his chest before walking to the beginning genius invocation game.
Alhaitham leaned against the counter of the island bar he stood next to, sipping his drink and observing a specific group intently. Dehya, Candace, Kaveh, and Faruzan. Alhaitham couldn’t hear what they were saying, nor did he care what the specific topic of conversation was. He was more focused on his roommate. Outside of the hours Kaveh had spent baking, he had also put a lot of time into getting ready. Which was nothing out of the ordinary, of course.
But he had taken just a little extra time to make sure his eyeliner was perfectly symmetrical, the reds and browns of his eyeshadow blended softly the way he liked it, and the gloss on his lips shimmered when he laughed. Every red pin in his soft blonde hair was placed intricately in the spots they belonged to. Alhaitham had stolen glances every time he walked by, and each time he did, he seemed to get prettier. It made him wonder how that was even physically possible. Yet, Kaveh’s beauty always seemed to slip from the grasp of reality and transcend into an ethereal world that no one else would ever be able to capture within themselves.
He had overheard many jealous and ordinarily average people chatter about the pearl that miraculously beat the waves of the sea, which he supposedly belonged to, and ended up on a land that the other pearls envied to surface. There wasn’t a single flaw in this pearl's physique. It shimmered brighter than the others when held to the rays of the sky, and there was no indent nor crack in its circular shape. This pearl would strike its finder rich, and this person would be the luckiest being to have ever lived. It was a privilege to breathe in the same air this pearl took in its precious lungs, and so many other pearls desired to trap its expensive exhales in a bottle and study how this specific pearl had come to be so precious. They wanted that beauty for themselves.
The radiant pearl would always be just out of reach. It was a treasure to admire but not one to touch. It was a fragile little thing, and the risk of breaking it was inevitable if an undeserving soul laid their dirty hands on it. In the heart of the museum it belonged to, there it lay in its glass confines until one day the rightful owner of this pearl claimed their prize. It was surely a prize to brag about, one to intentionally make all the other pearls and people alike jealous. Because those other pearls were nothing to the world when this one continued to exist.
Perhaps if the envious eyes of others dived into the sea the pearl had emerged from, they too would transform into something better than their given identity. Or, maybe, this magic water would make them worthy of the one and only perfect pearl.
Those who didn’t want to achieve the beauty that Kaveh had somehow unlocked wanted Kaveh all to themselves. To have a partner so unique, so beautiful, was like striking gold. Kaveh was the perfect man.
And with that, Alhaitham had to agree.
It was quite the taunt, living with Kaveh was. He was always there, but just out of reach of his unworthy fingers. Shattering Kaveh because he was the wrong one was something he dared not to risk.
So, he just watched.
He supposed he was just like the rest. He was just like the people he scoffed at when their whispers about Kaveh reached his ears. He was just another one in line, yearning to hold this precious treasure close.
Alhaitham wondered if Kaveh knew just how many people thought he was the loveliest creation of Teyvat. He wondered, was Kaveh aware of the many who wanted to look like him, to take him down, or to want him to themselves?
“Whoa there, Alhaitham,” a girl laughed from behind him. He cocked an eyebrow as he turned around. His eyes met Faruzan’s. “Had enough, yet?”
Alhaitham contorted his eyebrows in confusion before looking at the bottle in his hand, then at the empty ones he unconsciously left on the surface next to him. Still, Faruzan held out yet another bottle for him since his current one was nearly empty. What number was this one? Three? Four? Surely not more than four.
A breathy chuckle escaped from Alhaitham’s nose. “I hadn’t even noticed.”
She uncapped the beer and replaced the drained bottle with the full one. He thanked her, though she didn’t hear it since it never actually left his mouth.
Alhaitham blinked a few times, the world beginning to swirl around him. His stomach was warm, and his face was surely alcohol-flushed. The unconscious plethora of drinks he had was finally hitting him full force since he was no longer trapped in the vivid world of thoughts he fell into.
Whatever he was thinking about before was entirely wiped from his memory. Suddenly, he felt like he belonged in the crowd of people who would suck his energy dry on any normal day.
“I’m going to go join my boyfriend, now,” Alhaitham absentmindedly told the sweet, blue-haired lady who was throwing out his empty trash.
Faruzan, who was in the middle of grabbing another empty bottle, froze. “Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?” Her gaze darted back to him. “Since when?”
“Yes. Wasn’t this a known fact?” Alhaitham frowned as if that was the most offensive sentence anyone could have uttered to him. He was sure their relationship had been publicly expressed crystal clearly every time they were found together. Maybe this meant he wasn’t showing him off and bragging about him enough.
Faruzan giggled, shaking her head amusingly. “Well, I certainly didn’t know. Finally!”
Alhaitham stared at her quizzically, but he decided not to respond. Instead, he waltzed his way to his beautiful boyfriend, who sat across the room in a group that was bigger than the last time Alhaitham had counted who exactly was around him.
-
“Oh, look who the cat dragged in,” Dehya threw her head back in a lighthearted laugh.
Alhaitham smiled– a real smile this time. She seemed to be taken aback by the odd expression, but didn’t acknowledge it further.
“I wanted to check on how my boyfriend was doing,” Alhaitham turned to Kaveh.
“I’m– Wait, what?!” The gears in Kaveh’s head turned, clicking into place when he processed the words that had come out of his roommates'– boyfriends?-- mouth.
Alhaitham sat next to the flustered architect, their bodies rejecting any separation of space between them. Alhaitham hummed happily, looking at Kaveh with all the fondness in the world. Then, he stole a quick kiss from Kaveh’s agape mouth as if it were the most regular part of their days.
Kaveh swallowed hard, frantically looking Alhaitham up and down with darting pupils. “How–,” Kaveh somehow found enough strength to stammer out, “how much have you had to drink?!”
“Boyfriend, huh?” Tighnari pressed, looking up at the two from the ground where he sat. The entire group stared at them intensely with cheeky grins and intrigued eyes.
Alhaitham nuzzled his head into the nape of Kaveh’s neck, soaking in the warmth he radiated. Kaveh unconsciously moved his hand to cup the very drunk man’s cheek and rub it comfortingly with his thumb.
“We’re not– What? No!”
Alhaitham’s head jolted up at Kaveh’s denial. He was carrying the largest frown Kaveh had ever seen on his face. He didn’t think such an expression was possible on Alhaitham’s face.
“Seems like your boyfriend doesn’t think you’re not boyfriends,” Candace teased.
Kaveh was just about to rip his hand away from Alhaitham’s face, but Alhaitham caught him in time. He melted his face into Kaveh’s hand, holding onto his wrist and keeping him frozen.
“This isn’t– He is drunk! Can’t you tell!” Kaveh squawked defensively.
Dehya was seemingly the most entertained she had ever been in her entire life. “I don’t see you telling him that, then.”
Kaveh laughed nervously, looking anxiously at every face in the room that stared back at them.
“Are you cold, bunny?” Alhaitham then said when Kaveh lost the ability to formulate words.
Kaveh tore his hand out of Alhaitham’s abnormally tight grip and hid his embarrassed face in it instead. Alhaitham shrugged off his coat and swiftly put it over Kaveh’s shoulders, wiping down any wrinkles and dust that might’ve been on the back of it.
Alhaitham stared back at him so innocently, so purely.
“Bunny?!” More than half of their group of friends shouted, bewildered by the extremely humiliating nickname that easily slipped through Alhaitham's tongue as if it were something he casually said every day.
Kaveh had dealt with a drunk Alhaitham maybe a handful of times. He knew Alhaitham was extremely, unforgivingly clingy when he was intoxicated. He knew Alhaitham hated getting drunk because he transformed into an emotional mess, the complete opposite of the man he was when he was sober. Sober Alhaitham would surely be curled in a ball, locked in his room, and unavailable for the next few hours if he knew he was acting like this in front of so many people.
This much was foreign to Kaveh, though.
Alhaitham smiled fondly again, slowly lowering the hands Kaveh was hiding behind. He stole another peck from his flustered roommate. Kaveh was so red, it looked as if he was about to overheat and explode into a million pieces.
Kaveh cleared his throat and fixed his posture, brushing his hair out of his face and trying his best to compose himself despite the fact that his junior was referring to the two of them as something they weren’t and kissing him.
“Uhm, anyway,” Kaveh desperately tried to laugh off the tension that surrounded them. “Where… Where were we?”
“How long has this,” Sethos pointed between the two of them, “been official?”
Hat Guy laughed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Looks to me that this has been going on for quite some time now.”
Kaveh glared at each of his friends, who all wanted to bombard him with questions, knowing damn well what game they were playing.
It was eleven fifteen. Forty minutes until the year ends.
Alhaitham still hadn’t stopped staring at him as if he were holding love that weighed as much as a million moons in the space that separated their gazes.
Kaveh honestly began to think he was the one who drank too much, and his brain was torturing him with delusions of what he could not have.
Alhaitham appeared to be deep in thought, on the other hand. He was trying to recall when they had made it official, but he couldn’t find that file of memories in his head. His face twisted and scrunched. Expressions Kaveh recognized as growing frustration.
‘We, uh… It’s been a few months,” Kaveh would much rather lie than break a drunk Alhaitham’s fragile heart. He hesitantly rested his hand on Alhaitham’s thigh as if it belonged there all this time. His faux smile was meant to be a message to their friends that he was only fibbing for the sake of the porcelain heart that unwillingly fell into his hands.
“Oh, really?” Dehya, who knew what Kaveh was trying to do, pressed further.
Kaveh grumbled, shooting her the dirtiest look he could conjure. But when he looked at Alhaitham, the poor thing was anticipating the rest of the story because he had “forgotten”.
“Yes…! We….had gotten into a fight!” The lightbulb in Kaveh’s mind flickered on and gave him the perfect fairytale. “Yes, we were fighting. And it got pretty serious. I… I thought that Alhaitham wanted me to move out,” accidental truth sprinkled into his lie.
“Why would I ever want that?” Alhaitham, who was supposed to be part of this story, asked like an outsider. Well, technically, he was an outsider, but he wasn’t supposed to know that.
“You love to remind me how annoying I am,” Kaveh exaggerated, irritation seeping into his words. “I’m a mess to live with…certainly the worst roommate anyone could be unfortunate enough to have…,” he added so quietly that it almost, almost, got past Alhaitham.
Alhaitham’s frown deepened. “I make you think that?”
“I– This already happened, Alhaitham!” Kaveh’s toothy half-assed smile pleaded with his roommate's drunk mind to believe this had actually gone down. “Anyway,” he elbowed his “partner” in the stomach gingerly, “he was upset that I said that. So, he confessed his undying love for me to convince me to stay!” This story sounded like something he wanted to happen rather than just some act made up on the spot.
“Alhaitham confessed?” Cyno smirked. “What did he say?”
“That is private information!” Kaveh grimaced. He would so get back at all of them one day for this.
“I said that losing him the first time was the worst mistake of my life. And that I couldn’t imagine a world where that happened again. And, this time, for good. So, I told him the truth. I love him. I love him, and I want him to live with me forever. I love him, and I don’t want to live a life without him,” Alhaitham confidently explained.
Kaveh’s jaw would’ve dropped to the floor if that were possible.
“Oh, archons above if you can hear me… Please kill me,” Tighnari mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head.
“Wow, I never took you for the romantic type, Alhaitham,” Dehya teased.
Alhaitham kissed him once on his cheek, then danced his fingers under Kaveh’s jaw and turned his head in his direction. He kissed him much slower and much softer this time.
“I am so glad you are mine, Kaveh,” he whispered, hardly pulling their lips apart.
Kaveh could barely remember what it felt like to have a face that wasn’t on fire.
He tried pushing the stubborn man off of him, but that only resulted in arms being tightly wrapped around his waist and whining from a man who was supposed to have a reputation of being standoffish, cold, and certainly not childish.
“No wonder he only has one or two drinks when we all get together like this,” Dehya laughed, but she was just as astonished as the rest of their friends. No one knew Alhaitham had the capability to even behave and feel remotely close to this.
Kaveh desperately tried to comfort Alhaitham, who looked like he could crumble into tears at any moment, all because Kaveh tried to reject his kisses.
“Okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry.” Kaveh panicked and brought Alhaitham into the kiss he had been looking for. One packed with love, but keeping it quick and sharp. “Better?” His heart stung.
Alhaitham nodded.
Eleven thirty.
There was no way this was anything close to what Alhaitham had to deal with when Kaveh came home blackout drunk. Alhaitham had to be ten times worse. He decided he would make Alhaitham feel grateful for how tame a drunk he was in comparison to a blacked-out Alhaitham.
His breath hitched when his racing thoughts finally froze once “Will he even remember this?” appeared in the string of confusion and worries he was shuffling through internally.
He had so many questions he wanted to ask Alhaitham, but it would be useless in the state he was in. Why did he think they were dating? Did he know he was crushing Kaveh’s feeble heart? Did he secretly know about the way he loved him, and his subconscious was using it against him and hiding it behind a drunken facade? Are they supposed to move on as if none of this ever happened?
The word “boyfriend” rang in his ears, blurring out any other sound around him. All he saw ahead of him was a movie of what could be. Boyfriend. Kaveh liked the sound of that title.
But it wasn’t real.
Alhaitham was just drowning in liquor, and once it was out of his body, so would the memories of their “relationship” be.
Kaveh felt guilty. He felt like his years of yearning to be referred to as such were taking advantage of this confused junior he had failed to watch over.
“Alhaitham,” Kaveh finally said.
Alhaitham, who was lying quietly and peacefully on Kaveh’s shoulder, rose up.
“I…., uh,” Kaveh’s eyes trickled down to the ground ahead of them. Alhaitham protested it by cupping his cheek, guiding Kaveh’s face back in the direction of him. It was so soft, so gentle. It was as if Alhaitham was handling the most precious antique in the world, the way he touched Kaveh. As much as Kaveh wanted to breathe it in, as much as Kaveh wanted to play along, his heart couldn’t fathom doing that to him because he loves him. “You’re drunk, Alhaitham.”
“I am aware,” Alhaitham answered flatly.
“You’re confused.” Kaveh lowered Alhaitham’s hand away from him. “We aren’t…. I am not your boyfriend, Alhaitham.”
Alhaitham knotted his brows together, but his face worked faster than his brain. His frown shattered Kaveh into pieces.
“You’re leaving me?” Alhaitham talked so small. So innocent and so afraid. Kaveh wanted to take it back, but this would all go away in the morning. This was fine. “You’re breaking up with me?”
“What? No, ‘Haitham, we have never been…,” he hesitated, “together.”
Kaveh was surprised at the lack of a verbal response. Alhaitham looked him up and down once, twice… Then got up and walked off. Kaveh just watched.
-
Alhaitham slid down one of the poles that held up the fence that lined the deck of the back porch.
It was much quieter outside. No music blaring in his ears, no loud laughing and endless conversation. The stars twinkled above him, but it hurt to even look up at them. He squeezed his eyes shut, a headache already threatening to kill him.
He almost didn’t feel real, and it made him wish all the alcohol he had consumed wasn’t rotting away in a bush somewhere in the yard.
He had no idea why he was, but he was crying. Was it from the harsh velocity at which he was throwing up all his booze? Or was it something deeper? Thick, watery kuhl ran down his face regardless of the reason. He reminded himself that this was exactly why he promised never to overindulge in his alcohol. It was always the same, embarrassing outcome.
He had no idea what time it was or if it was even the same year that he had left the house in. All he knew was that he wanted to go home, hide under his covers, and stay in hibernation for the rest of winter. He shivered in the freezing night that embraced him, opting to tuck his legs into his chest and hoping the natural warmth of his body would suffice until it was time to leave.
If he could walk stably on his own, he would already be halfway home by now. But instead, he was glued to the floor, bound by heavy limbs that failed him tremendously.
His only choice was to wallow in his regrets and desperately attempt to wipe away the makeup that stained his face, but for some reason wouldn’t stop trickling down his cheeks through strange, unexplainable tears.
The door slid open, then slammed shut only a second later.
Wooden planks creaked under walking feet, the sound of footsteps dying once their owner stopped beside him. He didn’t bother greeting his unwanted company. He was ashamed to be seen in such a disheveled state, one that would surely be burned into the memories of his peers.
A heavy coat was tossed gently onto his shoulders, prompting him to finally meet the eyes of the man who came to find him.
Kaveh stared at him silently, freezing in place and looking like a petrified deer.
Why did Kaveh have his coat?
That didn’t matter. What was actually important was getting it put on all the way and basking gratefully in the warmth it provided him.
Kaveh cautiously cupped Alhaitham’s cheek and wiped at the stains that painted his cold face.
“Alhaitham…” Kaveh whispered, his eyebrows furrowing deep in concern and worry troubling his features. “I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t know telling you would hurt you like this… I just–” his mumbling was cut short.
“What are you talking about?” Alhaitham squinted, not enjoying the inside light that offensively shone through the glass doors.
Kaveh retracted his hand as if he had just been burned. He spun around and sat against one of the pillars that held up the fence next to Alhaitham. “Nothing. Never mind.”
“I look like this because I was vomiting… I think.”
“Oh,” Kaveh answered sadly.
While Kaveh stared up at the sky, Alhaitham refused to tear his eyes off Kaveh for even a second.
“Are you alright?” Alhaitham asked after a few moments of intense quiet. Nothing like the quiet that hugged Alhaitham just minutes ago.
“It’s fine, Alhaitham.”
“I don’t like it when you do that,” Alhaitham refused to back down. He couldn’t stand the bubbling feeling of worry traveling its way up his throat. He couldn’t stand being shut out when Kaveh so clearly needed his help.
Kaveh scoffed, but he finally met his desperate eyes. “Do what?”
“When you lie to me.”
“I’m not!”
“I know when you are lying, Kaveh,” Alhaitham answered sternly. He didn’t mean to speak as harshly as he did, but he didn’t regret it either.
Kaveh sighed, shaking his head as if it would make the entire conversation disappear if he just closed his eyes for more than a second. “I knew you’d forget. I knew you didn’t actually mean what you said.” His disconnected laugh was a half-assed attempt to play his hurt off as if it were the funniest thing in the world. “Look, it doesn’t matter anymore. Okay?”
Alhaitham furrowed his brows together, growing frustrated with how adamantly Kaveh was trying to dismiss his feelings as if they didn’t matter. When in reality, it was only his feelings that mattered. Out of the billions of people who lived, and breathed, and felt every single day, Kaveh’s was the only one that mattered. “What did I say, Kaveh?” He felt sick again. What could he have possibly said that would tear Kaveh apart like this when he had been so carefully avoiding doing exactly that all these years? Uncharacteristically, his voice sounded pleading, small, and helpless, “Please, Kaveh.”
Alhaitham knew the look on Kaveh’s face all too well, one that was etched into the back of his eyes like a photograph. He knew when Kaveh was contemplating specifically about his feelings, which was why it was so easy to catch him in a lie. If his carmine eyes weren’t darting from corner to corner, if those pupils didn’t glitter with genuine emotion and passion, then he was certainly lying. A sense of relief settled over him when he recognized these patterns on him presently.
“You…,” he swallowed, “you kept referring to me as your boyfriend.” Kaveh bit down on his lip and averted his gaze immediately after confessing the reckless actions drunk-haitham had committed that night. “It– it doesn’t matter anymore, alright? I’m fine–”
Alhaitham tightly gripped Kaveh’s bicep firmly, prompting him to meet his eyes again. “What else?”
“You were kissing me.”
“And?”
“And you said that you loved me,” Kaveh choked out, trying his damndest to hold back the tears that were scratching at his waterline to be released. They yearned to show Alhaitham how much he wanted that night to be real.
Alhaitham didn’t let go of Kaveh, but his entire expression changed from one of concern to one of wide-eyed realization. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. And his mouth glitched like that for a few more attempts before he forced out the words that wouldn’t leave his tongue. “I do love you, Kaveh.”
Kaveh wiped his eye before the tear could expose itself to Alhaitham, but his smudged eyeliner spoke for him anyway. “Don’t pity me.”
“I’m not. Why would I do that?” Alhaitham’s grip on his arm tightened, almost desperately, “Have I ever lied to you? Or, is it that I remind you how pointless the act of lying is?”
Kaveh didn’t answer.
“I didn’t think it would come out like this. But, I won’t deny it. I’m sorry I don’t remember it all, but I need you to believe me when I tell you this: I love you.”
Kaveh shook his head, now failing to protect the artwork on his face from being ruined. “You don’t.”
Alhaitham slid his hand under Kaveh’s chin, delicately guiding his head up to look at him. “I do.”
“You can’t love me, Alhaitham. It’s not possible. I’m not… lovable. I’m not someone you want to love.”
“You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do. I do. I know that I have loved you since the day you walked up to me in the House of Daena that day. I loved you before you even opened your mouth or told me your name. I loved you the day you walked out, and I loved you for ten years after that. I love you every morning over coffee, and every night that you refuse to sleep. If you aren’t lovable, Kaveh, then tell me: why do I love you? And why have I only felt this for you, and have only ever wanted to feel this for you?” Alhaitham’s confession was barely above a whisper. A volume so intimate that the world was truly forbidden to hear. The universe did not deserve to know of the strength with which he loved Kaveh. No other ear was worthy of hearing those words come from his mouth, only Kaveh’s.
Kaveh’s staggered tears turned into full-fledged sobs. He tried to hide his face in his hands, but Alhaitham refused to allow it. With both his hands, he grabbed Kaveh’s face and pulled him in. He had already wasted ion’s waiting for this moment, and he was not going to let it pass him by now. And their lips slid together perfectly, and worked against each other in tandem.
Alhaitham refused to let go of Kaveh, fearing that this was just another drunken delusion and this would all slip out of his fingertips in the instant he moved away.
The fireworks shooting high into the sky were a reflection of the sparks shared between the heat of their lips. The colours that painted over the stars were the result of the explosions of love and tenderness their mouths produced. The cheers that erupted from inside may not have been in celebration of their union, but they might as well be.
Kaveh was the one to force them off each other. He scrunched his nose, grimacing with his next words: “You’re gross! Hey, didn’t you say you were throwing up?! Now you’re kissing me?!”
Alhaitham hummed cheekily, a sly grin forming on his face. He had forgotten all about that, honestly. He had forgotten the outside world even existed as long as he stayed lost in ruby eyes.
Still, Kaveh’s gaze was nothing short of fond. “I love you, Alhaitham.” He finally said before bringing Alhaitham’s lips onto his once more.
“I didn’t do anything else embarrassing, did I?” Alhaitham asked against his lips.
“You called me bunny in front of all our friends as a term of endearment,” Kaveh giggled, a blush creeping its way onto his tear-stained cheeks.
“Oh, gods…,” Alhaitham groaned dramatically. “I think I’m going to throw up again.”
“Don’t you dare!”