Chapter Text
It all started when Theo’s coworker asked him out on a date.
“It’s not a date.” Wemmbu’s scowl could’ve boiled the waters of the Arctic. “Egg flaked out on me and Jaden is still on vacation, so you’re really my last option.”
“Wow, that definitely makes me want to say yes,” Theo responded sarcastically. He closed the hood of the car he was working on before Wemmbu had so kindly interrupted him. The transmission was still busted and it was getting frustrating. Secretly, Theo was thankful for the brief distraction. “What about Flame?”
Wemmbu sputtered in disbelief. “Bro, do you even know what the concept of an escape room is? You think I want to pay to be locked in a room with Flame?”
“Fair enough,” Theo admitted. Wemmbu and Flame could hardly be in the same area code as each other without beefing. Minute had explicitly stated that they were not allowed to work the front office together anymore after the infamous phone incident. Even 6 months later, they were still getting complaints, plus plenty of graphic one-star Google reviews. “Why don’t you just cancel the reservation?”
“Egg somehow chose the only place in town that doesn’t do refunds for cancellations.” Wemmbu grumbled. “Figures.”
Theo adjusted his sunglasses with the back of his grease-stained hand. “This’ll cost you.”
“I’m not saying the thing.”
“Say the thing or I’m not going.”
“...you’re the biggest bird, bro.” Wemmbu rolled his eyes with a lethal amount of sass.
“Yup.” Theo grinned. “You better get that in your head.”
“This is a one time thing,” Wemmbu warned with a scowl. “And you better show up this weekend.”
“I’ll be there,” Theo sighed. He threw his rag to the side. It landed with a satisfying splat against the concrete floor of the garage. “Just so you know, I’ve never done an escape room before.”
“Thanks, buddy,” Wemmbu cracked a smile for the first time since the start of their conversation. “Neither have I. But how hard could it be?”
...
“Wemmbu, I swear to god if we don’t get out of here in the next 10 minutes, I’m gonna slime you out,” Theo was crashing out. He was going to crash out.
“Chillax bro, I’m sure we’re almost done.” Wemmbu did not seem at all concerned. He yawned, checking the time on his phone.
“Actually,” the deadpan voice of the employee who had checked them in crackled through the speaker overhead. If Theo recalled correctly, his name was Wato. “You guys are like barely halfway through. Don’t tell me you need another hint.”
“Uhh, maybe just one more hint. Please?” Theo begged.
Wato was silent for a long while before speaking. “Yeah, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t get paid enough for this. I’m changing shifts in like 5 minutes, so hold on until Parrot gets here.”
“Wait!” Theo shouted, but it was already too late. The intercom clicked off with a final buzz. “Great. What do we do now?”
“We solve it without any clues. No big deal,” Wemmbu shrugged, leaning against the wall with his hands tucked casually behind his long ponytail. Theo could’ve strangled him.
They had been stuck for over 2 hours now. The entire room was decorated to look like a circus tent, much to Theo’s chagrin. Clowns freaked him the fuck out and the place was completely decked out with clown-themed decorations. Half of the room was covered with a red and white striped canopy, separating it from the “outside” of the tent, marked by a fake metal fence and colorful lights lining the tiled ceiling. The walls “inside” the tent were painted with elephants, trapeze artists, and worst of all, those freaking clowns. Also inside the tent were various stands and props, including a set of juggling pins, a few stuffed animals, and some sort of ring puzzle that they had already managed to solve by some miracle.
“Look, maybe we should just take another look at everything. There’s probably something we’ve missed along the way.” Wemmbu said reasonably, for once.
Theo sighed in annoyance. “You didn’t think of that earlier?”
“Listen bro, Egg is usually the brains. I’m the pretty face and the manpower.”
They proceeded to search the room more thoroughly than their initial inspection. Wemmbu yanked at the canopy, nearly tearing it away from the support beams on the ceiling. Theo shook the juggling pins one-by-one. On the bottom was some sort of cipher that neither of them had been able to solve. Even after taking a closer look, it still made no sense. Theo set the pins down, giving up for the moment. Maybe they would figure it out later?
Combing through the second half of the room, Wemmbu continued to tug at random objects and tried to grab whatever was in reach. Upon grabbing the brass knobs at the top of the decorative fence, one snapped off into his hands.
“Bro!” Theo stared at him in horror. “They’re gonna make us pay for that!”
“Shut up!” Wemmbu whispered harshly. He jabbed a meaningful finger at the security camera through which Wato had been monitoring their progress. “No one’s here right now. No one will know if you don’t snitch, dumbass!” He scrambled to shove the brass knob back onto the exposed metal of the fence, but paused when he noticed a sliver of paper inside of the hole. “Wait, I think I found a clue.”
“Where?” Theo snatched the knob out of Wemmbu’s grasp. “Bro, I think you actually did!” With careful fingers, he extracted the paper from the fake fence post.
“Gimme that.” Wemmbu grabbed the paper, unfolding it and smoothing the wrinkles. On the paper was some sort of crude diagram, more like a drawing. It showed a cartoon-style stick figure with arrows pointing away from its body towards a distinctly shaped t-shirt and pants.
“What do you think we’re supposed to do?” Theo asked, turning the paper upside down as if it spelled out a hidden message.
“I mean, it’s pretty straightforward, isn’t it?” Wemmbu responded.
Theo shook his head, frowning. “This is such a freaky clue. Like, why do they want us to strip?” Wemmbu shrugged.
“Hey bro, you said anything to get out of here.”
“Right,” Theo sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”
He took his sunglasses off first, tucking them into his pocket. Carefully shucking his beloved motorcycle jacket, Theo folded it neatly before placing it on the ground. Wemmbu threw his hoodie in a crumple on the floor. They were both in the middle of removing their shirts when the intercom crackled back to life.
“YO!” A panicked voice said quickly. “Yo! What are you guys doing right now?!”
“Uh, following the hint?” Theo waved the paper at the camera.
The voice let out a pained groan. “Bro, did you even look around the room? What’s the thing in the right corner?”
Wemmbu and Theo swiveled around. Sitting in the corner outside the tent, almost mocking them, was a fully dressed mannequin of a clown, colorful wig and all.
“Oh, it meant take off those clothes,” Wemmbu pointed at the mannequin in a superfluous manner. “Why didn’t the diagram make that clearer?”
Theo took another peek at the diagram. “Now that I’m looking again, it’s pretty damn clear. It has a round nose.”
Wemmbu frowned. “Lowkey, it looks like your nose.” Theo resisted the urge to beat the shit out of Wemmbu for like the sixth time within the past hour.
“Wato warned me about you guys,” the voice on the intercom remarked. Now that Theo had time to reflect on it, the voice was nice to listen to. The guy had a melodic lilt to his cadence of speech. “But I didn’t think it would actually be this bad.”
“What can I say, we meet expectations.” Wemmbu said sarcastically.
“That’s what our boss tells us at least.” Theo added. He felt oddly satisfied when the voice on the intercom chuckled.
“Well guys, it is way past the time you paid for. I can just let you out now if that’s ok.”
“Yes please,” Theo sighed in relief. “Get me out of here before I strangle Wemmbu.”
“Me?? What did I even do?”
The door on the far side of the room clicked open and Theo was momentarily blinded by the sunlight that trickled in. It made him remember his sunglasses, which he took out of his pocket and quickly shoved onto his face. He and Wemmbu raced for the door, pushing at each other to get out of that awful room. Theo was immediately glad he had put on his sunglasses because he was met with the most radiant sight.
The guy sitting at the front desk was the prettiest boy Theo had ever seen. Brown, messy hair with a few strands dyed green that looked softer than feather down. Slightly shorter than Theo. He had a thin frame, practically swimming in his standard red polo shirt with the escape room logo embroidered on the front pocket. Theo watched as the guy blinked in slow motion, long eyelashes fluttering over his sparkling eyes. He smiled at them awkwardly.
“Uh, so do you guys want the complementary photo? You aren’t technically supposed to get one if you didn’t complete the room, but I’ll give it to you for free since Wato kinda left you in there.” Even his voice was gorgeous, now unfiltered by the static of the speaker system.
“Yeah, why not?” Wemmbu threw an arm around Theo’s shoulders. “C’mere bro, let’s celebrate our friendship.” Theo didn’t protest. He was too occupied with staring at the cutie behind the front desk to care. He was grateful for his sunglasses, since no one would be able to tell what he was looking at.
“Bro, can I help you?” The employee raised an eyebrow at Theo. Apparently, his sunglasses did nothing to disguise the intensity of his gaze. Damn.
“What’s your name?” Theo asked suddenly.
“Uh, I’m Parrot,” the love of Theo’s life responded and adjusted his name tag.“What’s yours?”
“Theo,” Theo said, a tad too eagerly. Wemmbu shot him a look.
“Well, Theo and Wemmbu, we hope you enjoyed your time at Nether Escape Rooms. Please step over that way for your complementary photo. If you scan this QR code and leave us a review about your experience today we would greatly appreciate it.” Parrot winced, breaking script. “Or maybe don’t review us. Wato might get fired.”
“Wasn’t planning on it,” Wemmbu muttered. Theo kicked him furtively, earning himself another side eye.
“Let me get the camera for your picture; it’s in the back office.” Parrot ran off, ducking through a door behind the desk.
Wemmbu immediately turned to glare at Theo. “Dude, this is straight up humiliating,” he hissed under his breath. “Lock in! What’s wrong with you?”
“What are you talking about?” Theo scowled.
“Listen, the escape room guy might be cute, but you’re making a fool of yourself and me! Stand up straight, I’m embarrassed to be around you.”
“Wait, so you think he’s cute too?”
“Hell no! But you obviously do.”
Before Theo could ask about what Wemmbu meant by “obviously” (he was pretty sure he was being quite subtle), Parrot rushed back into the room holding a camera.
“Alright guys! Stand back against the wall over there and smile!”
...
Wemmbu had been laughing at their picture for 10 minutes straight and was showing no signs of stopping. They sat in McDonald’s, eating a late lunch. People were beginning to shoot them dirty looks. Wemmbu had that screeching, eardrum bursting kind of laughter that could grate on even the nerves of an angel.
“It’s not that funny, bro,” Theo grumbled. He halfheartedly swirled a soggy fry in his ketchup. “You can shut up now.”
“This is fucking gold!” Wemmbu hooted, slapping his knee for emphasis. “Your face!”
While Wemmbu had thrown up a peace sign and wore a lopsided grin for the photo, Theo had not been paying attention. At all. As a result, his eyes were half shut, mouth opened. He had an absolutely insane expression on his face and seemed to be focused on something behind the camera instead of the lens itself. Theo groaned internally. He regretted removing his sunglasses for the picture, even if it did give him a better view of the photographer.
“Egg’s gonna love this.” Wemmbu snapped a picture of the awful photo and texted it to his best friend before Theo could protest.
Parrot’s reaction was more polite compared to Wemmbu’s, but somehow, seemed all the worse to Theo. He had looked at their picture for a long time, not saying anything, before handing it over with a suspiciously straight face.
“Thanks for stopping by,” he waved them off.
Theo had opened his big, fat mouth again. “I’ll be back.”
“Um, ok?”
And now, Theo was facing the consequences of his actions in the form of his most annoying coworker.
“No, but seriously,” Wemmbu spoke with a mouth full of chewed up burger. It was disgusting. Theo physically recoiled at the sight. “You were so down bad for that escape room guy.”
“Parrot,” Theo said, before he could stop himself. “And I’m not ‘down bad.’ He just seems… interesting.”
“…dalright, whatever you say,” Wemmbu drawled. He swallowed his burger and took a sip of his Sprite, slurping obnoxiously. “Too bad you’re never gonna see him again.”
“What does that mean?” Theo frowned.
“Bro. We sucked ass in that escape room. I had a horrible time; I’m pretty sure you had a horrible time. Why the hell would we ever go back there?”
...
“Welcome to Nether Escape Rooms- oh, it’s you. You’re back?” Parrot blinked at him in surprise. His pale skin practically sparkled in the late morning sunlight. “Theo, right?”
Theo was proud to say he controlled his reaction very well. Instead of screaming “HELL YEAH BABY” in the middle of the lobby, he responded with a simple “uh, yup, that’s me.”
“Where’s your friend?” Parrot peeked around him, trying to see if anyone else was walking through the door.
“Coworker,” Theo corrected him quickly. “He wasn’t a big fan of the escape room last week.”
“Oh, but you were?” Parrot tilted his head slightly, genuine curiosity in his gaze.
“For sure.” He was a fan of something alright.
“Bro, that’s great!” Parrot’s smile could’ve overpowered the light of the sun. Even with his sunglasses, Theo was blinded by the sight. “Escape rooms are lots of fun once you get used to them. Did you want to try the same one again? Or maybe a new one?”
“Same one.” Theo replied. “I want to redeem myself.”
“Sure thing, that’ll be $43.”
Theo handed over his credit card wordlessly, ignoring the screams of agony coming from his bank account.
“Through door number 2 on the right,” Parrot gestured down the same hallway from last time. “But I’m sure you remember where it is.”
The room was the same as before: the large circus tent in half of the room, the fake surrounding fence, even the clown mannequin in the right corner. Theo made his way straight towards the mannequin. However, before he could start taking a closer look, Parrot’s voice clicked on through the intercom.
“I suggest starting from the very beginning. It might help you pick up on things you’ve missed or remember older clues.”
“Alright.” Theo wasn’t opposed to that idea. He remembered most of what he did last time with Wemmbu.
Working through the old clues was pretty mundane. Theo could find himself growing bored as he unscrewed the fake fence, checked the lockbox, and solved the ring puzzle for the second time.
“So… how’s your day going?” He looked directly at the video camera in the corner.
Parrot responded through the intercom. “Uh… pretty decent bro, how bout you?”
“Tired.” Theo pulled the paper diagram out of the fake fence. “My chungus coworkers keep messing up the car I’m workin on.”
Parrot’s chuckle came out muffled from the static. “Coworkers? Like the purple haired guy from last time?”
“Wemmbu,” Theo grumbled sourly. “Him and another one of my coworkers, Flame, are always beefing. It makes it difficult for me, hard-working ol’ Theo, to get shit done. And then there’s this other guy, Jaden, who’s been on vacation in the Great Sea for like, a month now. I’m pretty sure he’s dead. Or fired. Egg is alright, but he’s best friends with Wemmbu so there’s obviously something wrong with him too.”
“Oh?” Parrot said, amused. “Makes me grateful for my coworkers. Wato and Ken aren’t so bad.”
“Wato?” Theo walked towards the mannequin in the corner. After summoning his courage (and convincing himself that nothing was going to jump out at him), he slowly removed the clown outfit. “That guy from last time?”
“Yeah, I swear he’s not usually like that.” Parrot groaned. “He’s been stressed with school recently. Plus, I can’t lie, it can be frustrating when you see people struggle with the clues you created. I think he had to step out to clear his head.”
“You guys create the clues?” Theo asked as he finished undressing the clown. Written on the mannequin’s stomach was some sort of code. Letters were matched to familiar-looking symbols, but he couldn’t quite recall where he recognized them from. “What about this clue? What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Where do you remember seeing this symbolic language? Anything you couldn’t solve before?”
Theo squeezed his eyes shut, as if it would help him focus on finding the solution. “Uh, nope, I mean– wait!” He jumped up, making his way towards the juggling pins and turning them over. Sure enough, the cipher on the bottom matched the code on the mannequin’s stomach. “Oh, dude, I’m such a genius!”
Parrot laughed through the intercom again, static causing cracks in the noise. “Yeah, sure, bro. And to answer your earlier question, we do make the clues here. Well, some of them at least. Our boss designs most of the rooms.”
“Really?” Theo struggled to hold the pins in place, trying to spell out the cipher. “Not some big corporation?”
“Nope,” Parrot answered smugly. “We’re the only locally owned escape room in town. But our boss is very particular about how he wants the escape rooms laid out. He’s, uh, a bit of a character. Don’t tell him I said that.”
“Don’t worry, bro,” Theo looked solemnly at the security camera. “Your secret is safe with me. But, maybe some bribery would be nice too, yeah?” It was starting to affect him, how easily Parrot laughed. The tinkling sound made Theo’s heart leap in his chest.
“I’ll give you another complementary photo if you don’t make it out of here, alright?”
“Oh, I’ll make it out of here, don’t you worry about that.” Internally, Theo was slightly panicked. Was this flirting? Were they actually flirting right now?
“Uh huh,” Parrot hummed through the microphone. “Then, maybe you want a hint? You seem to be taking a long time on this puzzle.”
Theo glanced down at the pins. He had arranged them in alphabetical order, but he couldn’t make heads or tails of the message they tried to spell out. There was an A? And an E?
“Yeah, ok, maybe.” Theo admitted, scratching at the back of his head.
“Look at the stripes on the head of the pins. See how they’re different?” Frowning, Theo looked closely at the red stripes. Sure enough, they came in different numbers. One pin had two stripes, while another had three, so on and so forth.
“Try putting the letters in order of the stripes,” Parrot patiently continued.
It was starting to click now. “Oh, I get it!” Carefully, Theo arranged the pins in order of their stripes before translating the code on the bottom. It spelled out E, L, E, P…
“Elephant?” Theo spoke aloud, feeling confused.
“Yup.” He could hear Parrot’s grin through the microphone. “Think about it bro.”
Hesitantly, Theo walked under the red and white canopy and pointed towards the painted elephant on the wall. “Something to do with this?” Parrot didn’t respond. “I guess that means no, huh?”
Running his hands along the wall, but finding nothing, Theo turned away with a huff. It was then that he spotted the stuffed animals lining the inside of the circus tent. “Oh, elephant!” Rushing towards the elephant stuffed animal, he picked it up and began examining the gray fur. Nothing looked outwardly suspicious, but he noticed that upon picking it up, something unnaturally heavy shifted inside of the plush body.
“Wait, don’t tell me I have to tear this little guy open.” Theo gazed into the black plastic eyes of the stuffed elephant. They seemed to be pleading at him, begging for mercy. “He’s too cute! He’s screaming ‘no, don’t kill me, Theobald!’” The intercom clicked on.
“There’s a zipper on the back, bro.” Parrot chucked. “You don’t have to kill him.”
“Oh, I knew that.” Theo flipped the elephant over, revealing a shiny zipper through the fluff. He unzipped the elephant and extracted a small key from its stuffing. Eagerly, Theo sprinted towards the door. After fiddling with the lock for a bit, the door opened with a satisfying click. Theo could’ve sobbed with joy. To make things even better, Parrot sat behind the desk, welcoming him with a pretty smile.
“Nicely done! Congratulations on escaping the circus room!” Parrot grinned and waved the camera at him. “I say you’ve earned your photo.”
Theo lifted the stuffed elephant and pointed towards it. “Can I take it with Dingus here?”
“Dingus?” Parrot raised an eyebrow at him. “You named the elephant Dingus? I mean, sure, but you have to leave that here, bro.”
“I’ll be back for you one day, Dingus,” Theo cried, clutching the elephant to his chest. Parrot rolled his eyes as he snapped the picture. His fingers brushed against Theo’s when he handed over the photo. It was electric. Although brief, the touch was long enough to feel the softness of Parrot’s skin. Theo felt the warmth surge from his hand to his face. Parrot gave a small smile and went through the same spiel as last time. QR code for review, thank you for visiting, yadda, yadda. Still, Theo couldn’t help staring at Parrot’s plush lips as he chattered on. They looked so… kissable.
‘I’ll be back for you too,’ Theo thought to himself.
Yeah, there was no denying it. He was pretty down bad for Parrot the escape room employee.