Chapter Text
It had been ten years since Charles last saw Erik.
The last he really heard OF him was when he was sentenced to life in plastic prison.
He truly in his heart wanted to feel hatred for him and wanted to feel relief instead of sorrow when he heard.
Because as much as he hated to admit it there was a part of him that wish he just came back home… to him.
But the other part says that the mansion was never really his home, but in reality Erik never had a home.
That's why Charles felt that he would have some sense of security to return.
It seemed that Charles realised he had so much to say once he was gone. Like a better outcome of a conversation that you had earlier. But this wasn't simple like a conversation, they couldn't just talk because he wasn't here and there was nothing truly to talk about.
Well, there was one thing. But if Charles ever said it that would've insured that Erik would be gone forever.
But he had already lost him anyway. What had he to lose anymore?
Logan had told him that they did have something to lose, Everything.
Charles tells him the only reason why he goes to the prison is for the future.
But something stays in his head.
" Because you and Erik sent me back here together."
It made Charles wonder how that came to be, and how long they actually spent apart to be that way.
Together seemed foreign. But Charles hung onto that word like it was his life. Together.
He wonders how he survived all those years apart from him. The decade he spent partially was filled with the schools work. But now that he had nothing. He needed Erik back, back home, back home to him.
He realises though that he never told him he felt this way. How could he? He couldn’t expect Erik to read his mind, he was meant to be the telepath not Erik!
He didn't do a good job expressing the positive emotions in his head anymore, he punched Erik, after that he was so up in Erik's face that he forgot that he was actually in his face. They were so close that he could feel Erik's breath. Could see the pained look in his eyes.
Could almost feel the sorrow that was radiating from his body into his.
He slashed in his bed at the thought of what he said.
" YOU ABANDONED ME,you took her away and you abandoned me!" His throat burned as he let it out. Only for it to be fuel in Erik's fight.
Erik started to list the names… the ones that Charles had cut out of his mind. So that he didn't have to hear their voices cry out as they died.
Erik then in a fit of rage started to tip the plane like it was his personal rubber duck.
Then he thought that was all said and done when he brought a bloody chessboard out.
Then everything, everyone else happened.
Raven had stopped, for now.
Logan helped him find his place again. Or helped him find an entirely new place for himself that a week ago him couldn't sustain.
Him and Erik were set maybe a decade or two or now to meet again.
Charles should be angry about that.
Erik had hurt him, bad, really bad.
But those memories are only a few seconds of a bad dream then he reminds himself of the good dream that he had a few nights ago only.
" Who are you?" The water was sticking his hair to his head, and they were both bobbing their heads out of the water like apples.
" My name is Charles Xavier."
" You were in my head." He looked relieved almost though you couldn't tell wether it was his mutation or the fact that he hadn't drowned. " How'd you do that?"
" You have your tricks, I have mine, I'm like you j-just calm your mind!"
He gulped in as much air as he could.
" I thought I was alone." Erik said.
" You're not alone." He shook his head like he was breaking the best news of this man's mad life. " Erik, you're not alone."
His mind tricked itself then which he never knew was possible.
Him and Erik were friends.
Then he turns and remembers:
" We want the same thing." Charles was held up to him, away from the rough sand.
He chuckled to himself then
" Oh, my friend, I'm sorry but we do not." A tear strayed from his eyes and he clenched his jaw to keep a dam from breaking and flooding.
Erik seems to be doing the same thing.
Charles always liked to think that him and Erik were two sides of the same coin.
Same coin, different sides. They would always be on different sides.
. . .
The school wasn't going to be opened again till next September, until then Charles needed time, time to breathe normally.
To not think about what he had lost and to rather think about what he had gained.
Hank had visited home to visit his family in Illinois for a few weeks. Charles had recommended it in fact. Hank had the technology back at the mansion to tend to Charles when he wasn't there.
Then this was a chance for Charles to not be coddled and finally be the adult he graduated high school to be. Wheelchair or not.
It was scary at times being in an empty house where so much could happen. Not that he wouldn't be able to defend himself. He was now more than confident that if he wanted to he could destroy someone from the inside and their would be no evidence against him or even an estimated reason on how they died.
. . .
" If we get you out of here, we do it my way." He looked at Erik sternly " No killing."
" No helmet, I couldn't disobey you even if I wanted."
" I am never getting inside that head again."
Erik's look was soft then, like he was scared of Charles. Like Charles had changed from angel to demon right before his eyes.
Charles hated that look, it made him look real.
. . .
To think he could just say ' you're heart will stop beating'
He can look after himself. He couldn't always , but he could now and he would.
But he never got pegged with the question.
' What if it was somebody you loved?'
He felt him before he saw him. Erik, he heard him in his mind because he knew that Charles could hear him.
His name was being called. The least Charles could do was answer.
' Charles ? I know you can hear me, Charles?'
Charles turned his chair and made his way towards the calling. To the front door that led to a hanging chandelier that Hank has hung from his feet from too many times.
" Erik?" He looked to the dishevelled man in disbelief. " What, What are you doing here?"
Erik just looked to him. His eyes downcast and mad. But not rough, tender.
Charles felt the world move as he was brought closer to Erik. By only the command of his hand. Which was the ‘gun’ of his mutation.
Two hands were put on the armrest to level himself with Charles eyes. He found himself in a similar situation with Logan, but this wasn't it, this was something entirely different. This scared him more than Logan or anyone ever could.
Because Erik had an idea. One that wasn't going to vanish so quickly and Charles was worried he was going to let it happen.
" Erik, what do you think you-?!" the ' R' and the ' E' got swallowed as Erik's mouth latched onto Charles'.
His eyes were wide open while Erik's were closed, like he was dreaming this was going to last forever.
Because with them everything only seemed to last shortly.
So Charles decided that he was going to give him this. Because if he was honest with himself he didn't want this to leave him alone.
He also wanted this to be real. Because everything they went through just to say that they were ' just ' anything!
If there was any word in the entire English language to describe what they had it could never have lead down to 'just'.
Just is casual. ' oh, I was just doing something here and there with who knows?'
What wasn't casual was how Charles gripped the back of his head. Pulling him in.
What wasn't even casual was how Erik kneeled in front of his chair and was now wrapping his arms around him.
Even in the rush of things they pulled away from each other and put their foreheads together.
Their breaths are erratic, and Charles feels a hand on his chest. At that moment his chest is moving up and down like mad. His heartbeats are even worse.
Charles dosent feel it, but an arm is securely wrapped around his legs.
It's only until Erik looks up at him, retracting his forehead, and Charles savours the look of Erik's hair loosely tangled, and his eyes a noteworthy deepness.
His pupils are dilated, like just the look of Charles is making him want more.
" Why are you really here, Erik?" Charles asked stupidly, between his heavy, hot breaths . But Charles wants to know… before he did something that actually never meant anything.
" I didn't want to leave you alone, again .”Erik said blatantly.
" But I left you this time." Charles said " Think about what you're doing before you actually do it."
" I have."
" No, no you haven't." Charles' throat tightened. " This, this is really mature of you Erik, just showing up here thinking you can make amends after what you did."
" What I did was for-" Erik started then Charles ended it for him, loudly.
" For yourself!" He snapped " What you did was for yourself, Erik, don't make it out to be otherwise."
Erik looked at him with glossy eyes that almost melted Charles' heart. He looked down at the arm still wrapped around his leg and noticed it wasn't making any attempt to move. Erik was leaning on it and looking up at Charles.
" Is this who I'm meant to be?" He gulped " The bad guy who never gets the happy ending?"
Charles had no words because as much as he had liked to flex his intelligence in puzzles he couldn't quite crack this one.
" The monster, Is that who I really am?" Erik asked. “ Doomed to die alone, without-“
" Alright I see your point , Erik." Charles said quick and sternly. " You've done bad, a lot of bad. You've hurt a lot of people, some I admit had it coming , b-but if you want a redemption, Erik, I have to ask you: What are you going to do to get it?”
Erik thought about this from a moment, eyes still trained on Charles’ “ I don’t know.” His eyes were half lidded and it was then that Charles realised that he looked as though he hadn’t slept just for an answer to that exact question and it had led him nowhere.
" I guess that's why I'm here. " Erik bit his lip, once. " I can't do it alone."
" You're not alone." Erik's eyes latched into Charles' and stayed there " Erik, you were never alone."
Charles was always willing to help him, he even did when he paralysed him, left him, and broken his heart. Charles had learned the hard way that feelings don’t vanish easily. But he stuck by being the bigger man, and now he had the high ground.
The voice in the back of his mind warned him of what this could bring.
But the look in Erik’s eyes vaporised that feeling away.