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He got out. Erik- he got out. out of that prison, that hell. Only to experience one that he made.
That kid got him out, holy shit that kid was fast and annoying. But he'd rather spend a lifetime listening to him talk rather than spend another second in that hole of a prison.
He dosent really know how long he's spent there, as much as he knows how old he now actually is. He stopped counting the days when reality hit him with the crashing weight of ' You're going to die in here '.
If he died he would know that he wasn't and never would be alone. He knows more beyond the grave than he knows outside of it.
The only consequence really from dying would be that he wasted his life.
He had already wasted ten years of it in that prison, behind glass. Behind plastic weapons that were never for show. He had plans of what he would do in those ten years, and as much as he hated to admit it… ,None of those plans included the brotherhood.
The brotherhood was his duty , his belief , but it was never his dream. Not like Charles and his school, that he closed… as he’s learning.
He thinks of a life he would rather have, an alternative
For as long as he could remember he'd always wanted to live on the countryside . Away from… everything , Not alone, but with someone he loved like his mother loved his father. Where HIS someone could be themselves as loudly as they wanted. Never be afraid. Because in the countryside as much as he likes to believe there is nothing to be afraid of.
They would be together… , forever like no one else was with Erik.
At night they would lie on the grass and watch the stars before they burn, the only sounds being their voice and the crickets chatting and clicking.
They would roll up their trousers and lose their socks as they felt the cool rocks beneath their feet. Feel the water soak the hairs on their legs and almost reach their rolled up trousers. They would splash at each other and tease until they both fell down to the water and soak their bottoms. The water's cold but that dosent cease them from realeasing a bubbly cackle.
It would only be him and them.
There's a forest in their garden, and the deer, like them aren't afraid to show their faces to the foreign visitors. They eat the grass and their ears twitch as Erik and his someone inch closer. It's antlers are like the branches that make up the forest trees, spinning upwards until it tangles over and over again. it's repetitive but that's the beauty of living in the countryside.
Always with each other.
There are flowers that they pick together and lay on their dining table. In their old fashioned cottage' that looks as though it was made in the medieval period. Various colours of flowers differentiate each week they take them in. It's always a time they get to spend with each other. Not that they don't do that often. Because both of them hate being alone. Because being alone is an unpleasant feeling.
Charles hated him now. He was as alone as he could be.
Charles hit him, that wasn't the Charles he knew, not the one that he had known, the one that he loved. Nothing about this short , scruffy, angry man was who he had known.
Who was he?
Erik wanted to find out for himself.
But first they had to do something.
They as in Logan the time traveling hoodlum, with cat claws , and Hank the beast who wasn't so beast anymore, and him and the stranger.
Logan has convinced him of helping people he hasn't met yet in a future he obviously hasn't experienced, by finding mystique and bringing her to justice or whatever, only one thing got to his head and didn't go through his right ear.
Him and Charles sent him back… together.
It was reassuring to know that at some point they actually rest, for once.
But how is Erik meant to accept a future with someone he dosent even know anymore?
The hotel they were staying at was fancy to say the least. Not that Erik hadn't feasted himself on life's luxury over his nazi hunting days abroad. He found that to be motivated you had to live in luxury for at least a few hours before you killed. It made him realise that's how most wealthy men are so adamant on annihilation.
His room as planned almost was far, far away from Charles'. So was everyone else's.
Charles was alone and it seemed he didn't even have a problem with that.
Erik has spent too much time alone, that even on the treacherous plane ride here he spent the start close to Charles. Almost hearing him release angry breaths like a dragon puffing hot air out its nose.
Charles had yelled at him.
" You abandoned me!" He looked so small like this, so vulnerable. It was probably his first time that he chose to be vulnerable. " You took her away and you abandoned me."
His voice was broken as was his features, the lines holding his face were from rage rather serenity. He was unfocused, sloppy in his own words.
That Erik had to do what he had to do.
He bit back, Charles didn't have his powers so right now if he had been the Charles he knew he would stop this. But now he was fragile, he was glass and Erik was the hammer. Erik breaks him down only to bring him up by tape.
It was a sloppy apology, if it ever was one. But things were never resolved and now he was on his way to resolve… something.
He knocked, three times. Three was the magic number, right?
" Come in." Charles voice was muffled through the hard door.
Erik , hand in his pockets, opened the door and let it swing and click shut behind him.
Charles was faced down with a book, paying no attention to the slow movements of Erik.
He finally looked up to see Erik, and something in his eyes faltered. Like a light shining. Or dulling.
" What can I do for you, Erik ?" Charles said looking attentively forward to meet Erik's gaze that was already breaking it.
" I-I..um." Alright he had to think of this for a moment, but the problem with that is he already has but he just can't say it.
" What is it?" He seemed to forget that he was broken and actually looked concerned for the the one that broke him.
" Can you do something for me?"
" Again, what is it?" He seemed to laugh to himself softly like to reassure himself for something that hasn't happened yet.
Inhale, exhale, Erik you got this.
Be honest, what’s the worst that could happen?
" I haven't felt anything … but pain for the past decade or so." He looked down at his feet for a moment then looked to the downward blue lit eyes. " Make me feel something that dosent hurt."
" Erik-" Charles started but Erik cut off.
" I can't trust myself ." His throat closed and his voice turned hoarse. " Because I am the reason for every mishap in my life and everyone else's, I want to feel something , Charles… ,Help me." He pleaded, he begged.
Charles' eyes were hard yet there was a softness in his blue gaze that made Erik's eyes stay on his, because they felt safe there.
" Alright ." He said " Come here." He signalled his hand to Erik. Who took it and a warmth that Erik hadn't felt in years came back in a wave.
It was like a drug and he almost felt his pupils dilate at it. It was intoxicating.
Charles pulls him close and his head was raised to look at Erik above.
" If you change your mind." Something in his eyes faltered again " Tell me to stop." Tell me to stop because I don’t want to ever stop THIS.
It was then Erik realised… Charles had been alone just as long as he had. By just the look in his eyes alone you could tell that the lack of another was eating him from the inside out.
That look had an effect on Erik ,and he couldn't tell if he was going to cry or laugh. Or both.
Charles hands reached up to Erik's head and his fingers tangle themselves in the nest of Erik's unbrushed hair. They massage his scalp soothingly, it was softly given for a man that didn't deserve it. But Erik found that not even his own self hatred could move him away from Charles.
The other hand was kept at his side until it came up to steady itself on Erik's shoulder while Charles' face came to the crook of Erik's neck.
His chest came down in a sharp intake of breath, that Charles no doubt heard.
" Are you alright?" His eyes somehow find Charles'.
His hands are still in Erik's hair and they're now tangling themselves further in as the reach the back of his neck and scratch the small hairs.
" Yes, I'm fine." Charles' face didn't go back, and Erik found he wanted it there all along.
Erik looked to the blue gaze staring up at him. Not in wonder, but in permission. Because ' fine ' never cuts it.
" I liked it." He said before he thought about what that could've meant. But he didn't look away from Charles and instead played the part of a confident man, with a plan.
The face that looked up at him now was flushed. Erik took this achievement and metaphorically placed it in his pocket to keep forever.
" Alright ."
He moved his face back to the crook of his neck and Erik almost swore that he had felt the heat radiating off it onto his skin.
But then the hand moved from his hair. He was so starved for that touch again that he found himself gripping Charles' wrist.
" It's alright , Erik, I'm just going to put it somewhere else, alright?" Half of his face was looking at him and the other was still maintaining the touch on Erik's neck.
Erik didn't say anything but he let go of Charles wrist.
The hand he let go now made its way to Erik back and lightly tuggged on the ends of his night shirt. Then his hand slipped under and felt goose flesh rise up as they skimmed over Erik's bare skin.
Erik lightly shivered and shook at the touch but he did not Inch way from it. Because it wasn't hurting him, because he liked it.
The other hand that was once holding its place at Erik's shoulder moved about to the same place as though securing Erik's back . and repeated the same process. Every touch that Charles had made felt like hot tongs, and they left fiery scars plastered on his skin. Something made him feel like he would remember this moment forever.
Charles' head moved from the crook of Erik's neck, he didn't look to Erik this time, but Erik saw that his face was a warm tone of pinks.
He didnt want Erik to see what this was doing to him, he was embarrassed.
Erik found it adorable. But teasing would've made him look like a hypocrite because this was doing something to him. Something he never felt before.
Maybe Charles had never felt like this before either.
Don't get him wrong he had had his handful of ladies, they both had. But this was different. This felt different, this felt unforced by the current societal norms. Maybe that's why it felt so right. Because it was different, because they were different.
Charles was especially a ladies man, but look at him now. Erik has never seen him flustered before in his life. He was confident around everyone he found attractive now Erik had broken him. This is just another way he's broken him. If Erik hadn't done what he did maybe this could've happened a lot sooner. Could've lived somewhere else far,far away.
But Erik fucked up.
His heart started erratically beating and pounding against his chest. It almost wanted to claw its way out.
" Erik, what's wrong?" Charles said. His voice was filtered with worry and an almost disappointment that this already seemed to be ending.
" I never said I was sorry." Erik started.
" Well are you sorry?" Charles said. Looking up at him with those goddamn captivating eyes.
Erik had ten years to think and rethink and start all over.
" Yes. I am so sorry Charles." This entire time it has only been Charles' hands on Erik and Erik has just stood there letting it all happen.
But now he embraced Charles , almost engulfing him.
Charles grunted against Erik's neck. The air from his nose tickling the skin that's their from exhaling.
"Erik?" Charles breathed.
" Yeah?" Erik was scared but he wouldn't let it show in his voice and the way it almost broke. But he had no doubt that Charles already knew.
" I missed you."
Then Charles shifted his head and Erik's breath almost stopped, he thought that this was over, forever.
But Charles kissed the centre of his chest where it rose and fell.
He kissed his heart.
" I missed you too." Erik finally had the courage to say it as his heart felt revived as did his entire body.
" Don't go, stay, Erik , for once." His eyes looked up again and Charles held Erik's chin in his hand. " Please."
Erik nodded.
" I'm not leaving Charles, never again."
With his chin in Charles power he pulled him into a kiss, and it felt impossible to want to let go.
. . .
Ten years later….
Erik's feet are tickled by the grass as he and Charles lay down with no blanket beneath them. Their feet are bare from throwing their shoes and socks off and rolling up their trousers to their knees and placing themselves curtly in the water.
(Meaning that Erik had to carry Charles which each time he did it he couldn't even complain. )
The gold of their rings glint off the sunlight and with how much they shine you could blind someone that was next to you.
Charles is laying on the grass with his face buried in Erik's neck, and Erik never wants it to move.
He can feel Charles' breath release and retract as each minute goes by.
They can go like this for years, they have. Without even talking they bask in each others company as if it was sunlight in a desolate cloudy land.
Then Charles wakes up, and the world stills when his eyes find his.
He smiles silly when his eyes place themselves on Erik.
" Hey there, darling " He says teasingly because Erik's face turns red every time his name is called.
" Hey yourself." He presses his lips to Charles' who returns it sweetly. Then when he returns Erik finds himself in a stupid smile. Reflecting Charles stupid, stupid love for him.
Charles brings his face to Erik's chest and pulls his shirt up so he's buried under the fabric and kisses the centre of Erik's chest, his heart.
Charles is the only thing that keeps Erik's heart warm and alive.
He needs Charles as much as he needs his blood, and now he has him.
He feels Charles shuffle his head. So that his long hair tickles Erik's bare chest.
" Get out from there, you menace!" He says loudly through a squealing laugh. That makes his teeth bare like a shark.
" Mhm." Charles seemed comfortable in the body warmth. Taking that it was evening and they just soaked themselves with water and decided to let the rest of the day dry them off.
Erik poked at his sides " Fine, you asked for it professor." Which brought out a sudden shriek from Charles.
" Ah, Ahh, alright I yield." Charles said as he pulled his now scruffy hair from under Erik's shirt. He laid his head on the fabric of Erik's chest and scrunched up the fabric there with his hand which so happened to have their wedding ring.
Erik took the hand in his and kissed his ring finger.
" Did I ever tell you I love you?" Erik said a smirk lining his face and making it beam.
" No, actually I think I need to hear it again." Charles smile never left his face and Erik wondered if his mouth ever hurt.
" I love you Charles Francis Xavier with all my heart." He said softly like he was telling it to the wind to carry it on the next reality.
" And I love you Erik lensherr." He moved further up Erik to reach his face and kissed his nose, then his lips softly as their eyes closed.
Erik thought at that moment that as long as he kept his eyes closed he could make this last forever.
The rings that now intertwined between both of their fingers promised that this wasn't ending anytime soon…