Chapter Text
Rose Tyler was exhausted. Bone tired. Her eyeballs felt like marbles. Her heart pounded from the effort of running the blood to her legs to carry her up the short flight of stairs that led to her second story condo.
She was done with Los Angeles, California, the United States.
It was Christmas week, and there were bloody palm trees around the condominium community swimming pool! Fake snow at the outdoor ice skating rink at the posh mall down the road! And the Santa at that mall wore a red and white Hawaiian shirt, green board shorts, Ray Bans, and leaned against a surfboard. His elves showed off their tans in red bikinis trimmed with white fur.
When she finally reached her flat, her forehead dropped against the door with a thud. Her key missed the lock a few times, but finally hit its target. As soon as her feet touched the pristine white carpet, her arm went limp, and her sturdy -- but very well used -- black, airline-approved rolling luggage thudded to the floor. She didn’t bother to look around the spacious, modern room, even though she had been gone for two weeks. All she wanted was sleep, but even her bed was too far.
“Anybody home?” she croaked. She fought against her shellacked, impeccable hair knot. Once free, her blonde hair fluffed out into unnatural waves.
A tall woman with mile-long legs and cascading ginger hair joined Rose in the lounge, mug of coffee in hand. “Lynda’s working a flight to Bangkok, and I’m about to head out to the airport for a long-haul to Sydney. Rory’s my first officer.” She smiled wickedly. “Lots of auto-pilot time.”
Rose yawned so widely that her jaw cracked. “I’m completely done. The flight from Vancouver was absolutely wretched. No food or drink service, so the passengers were grumpy. Turbulence was terrifying. Even for me. Fell right on my bum in first class! So embarrassing.”
“What’s that smell?” Amy sniffed and then shuddered. ”You stink.”
“Thanks,” Rose groused. “Bloke got on the plane not half-drunk. First class, of course. He hit on me. ‘Aren't all stewardesses ready for a good time?’ he says. And he doesn’t even try to hide his wedding ring!”
“Wanker,” Amy muttered.
“And when I politely declined, he gets sick on me! The git. Third time this week a married man has tried to pull me.” Rose pushed her hair out of her face. “Why can't I meet a nice bloke? Single. Normal. It's not like I'm looking for perfect.”
“Take a hot bath. I’ll make you a cuppa.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up," she almost whimpered. "In the last two weeks, I’ve worked LAX to Fiji, Fiji to Tokyo, Tokyo to Calcutta, Calcutta to Vancouver, and finally I'm back in LA.”
“That’s a lot of flying, and a lot of water time. Isn’t so many flights sorta — illegal?”
“They scheduled me within regulation by like… two hours.”
“Bloody budget cuts.”
“Finally getting a major break. Two. Whole. Weeks. I think the FAA threatened an investigation and fines, ‘cos everyone I fly with has suddenly been given vacay time.”
“I know the last thing you probably want to do is hop a plane. But maybe you need to go home? Back to England? S’not like you have to pay for the airfare.”
Rose laughed. “Yeah. But Mum and Dad and my little brother are taking a cruise through the Greek Islands over Christmas. Mum won a raffle.”
“You said you want snow. What about a little village? I was talking to another pilot the other day, and he and his wife do a house swap thing when they go on break.”
“Oh, I’ve heard of that. How does that work?”
Amy explained the process, and Rose was easily convinced.
“Lynda isn’t going to be here much. Neither am I. And our flat is rather nice, after all. I doubt you'll have a hard time finding someone. Make sure you only use this website, though. Danny said they screen the applicants carefully.”
“Thanks Amy," Rose yawned.
oOo
From the outside, Rose lived a charmed life as a flight attendant for one of the poshest airlines in the world. She’d wanted to see the world, and see the world she did — but mainly through the windows of hotel rooms and airport waiting areas. The job paid a decent wage, but not as much as most people thought. Sharing the condo with two other women made it possible for the three of them to live someplace nice and safe. And the perks were good — free flights and discounted hotel rooms on her off time. Problem was, she never was able to take that off time and take advantage of the free tickets. Until now.
She so needed a holiday. She needed to hide herself away someplace where she wouldn't be called back to work. She needed someplace with no cellular coverage. Someplace quiet. She craved snow, and a proper, real Christmas tree that smelled like the forest. She wanted to be able to order delivery pizza or curry, have a leisurely night at a pub listening to a local band playing bad covers of the hits of the 70s, 80's, and 90's.
She needed to be in England. Her home.
oOo
"It’s only been an hour, and I got three replies!” She read the first one to Amy.
Looking for posh flat in the heart of Los Angeles for Christmas holiday. Need place for one week. Please send more pictures. Link below to pix of my place. Thanks. - Dave Raus."
Rose barked a laugh. "Seriously? He wants to trade a week in our condo for his disgusting caravan in Brighton?”
“Deeeee-leeete!” Amy screeched.
Number two was better, but the home was just outside of London in a quiet neighborhood. Not quite the charming country cottage she was looking for.
"Let's look at this one." It was a video message.
"Hi. My name is Donna... Noble," she squeaked her last name and sniffed. "Sorry." The ginger-haired woman blew her nose. "The thing is, I have to get away." Her voice sped up. "My fiancé left me at the altar a few weeks ago.”
The women both clucked their tongues sympathetically.
“Mum won't stop fawning over me. Dad just pats me on the shoulder. My brother is ready to throw Lance into a pit of poisonous spiders, and then there’s my Grandad, who is an absolute dear.” She sniffed. “But I don't want him to have to put up with me while I'm in this state. Oh this is way too much information. All right. Let me start over. I need someplace with sun, and a swimming pool, and I want a fruity cocktail in my hand, the kind that’s in a coconut shell with a paper umbrella.“
“I’ll stock the liquor cabinet. I like her,” Amy said.
Rose rested her chin on her hand as she watched the woman wipe her eyes and nose with a tissue.
“Granddad has offered the old family cottage for a house trade. It’s located in a village called Flydale North, about twenty minutes out of Oxford in the Cotswolds. I know it isn’t posh, but it’s quaint and cozy — in the good way, not the falling-down-heap-and-it’s-too-small-to-breathe way. But even though it is a bit, well, antiquated, there's electricity and running water—“
“That’s an option?” Rose guffawed.
“The wood burning stove does heat up the place nicely, and there are also two fireplaces, one up, and one down. Granddad promises there’s plenty of wood. Already split. The kitchen is modern enough that it has what you need to cook a meal. Fridge, hob, oven, sink. The bed in the main bedroom is an absolute dream. And the bathtub. Oh, the bathtub. You’ll never want to get out, so bring some nice soaps with you.”
“Lush,” the women cooed to each other.
And then Donna smiled brightly, and spoke a mile-a-minute. ”There’s no cable telly, but there is a DVD player, and the phone may or may not work for long distance. Depends on the day. But if you go into the book shop down on the high street, your mobile will work.”
Rose laughed at the rambling.
“I’ve attached some pictures to this email.”
Rose clicked on the images, and with each picture, she fell more and more in love with the cottage.
“Text. Her. Now,” Amy ordered.
Hello Donna, I’m Rose. Looks like we might be a match for the house swap thing. My flat is available anytime you're ready. Message me back to discuss.“
The three blinking dots appeared.
Donna Noble: I’m here. I’m here! FaceTime?”
Rose Tyler: Sure.
As soon as she hit send, Rose’s computer began to chime.
“Hi,” Rose greeted, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear. “Seems like you need a holiday as much as I do.”
Amy peeked from behind Rose. “Hi, I’m Amy, Rose’s flatmate.”
“You’re from England, and Amy’s from Scotland?”
Rose nodded.
“Your. Flat. Is. Gorgeous. And please tell me it’s warm in LA right now. I need to thaw.”
“Oh, very warm. Too warm,” Rose smiled, “You need palm trees, and I need snow. Perfect match, yeah?”
“Plenty of snow. Bring warm clothes.” Donna sighed. “If you wouldn’t mind, Ms. Tyler--"
"Call me Rose.”
"Okay then. Rose, I’d like to book my tickets for the first flight I can catch.”
“Amy and Lynda — she’s the third roommate — will be in and out. Mainly sleeping. Lynda and me, we’re flight attendants, and Amy’s a pilot.”
“That sounds brilliant. Really brilliant. Now how do you want to do this?”
The women discussed details, exchanged basic information, and sent each other damage deposits through PayPal.