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You’re out smoking on the roof, sitting way on the edge. Your name doesn’t matter here– your role is to raise The Knight. You let out the smoke you were holding in, warping around you, almost golden in the lighting.
You’ve never been the kind of guy to watch the sunset. Frankly, you’ve found it pretty boring in the past. What, the sky changed colors? Who cares? But sometimes you can let your gripes go. The Houston sky can be worth a look on occasion. It’s cool out, anyway. Novembers here can be bearable most of the time.
You have 5 months until meteors rain down from above and destroy everything. Less than half a year. You’ve been ready your entire life, but The Knight isn’t ready, and he’s the one who’s going to do anything worth a shit about it. You’ve already got your contingency plans set in place, to make up for the few mistakes you know he’ll make. But there are so many possibilities, so many ways that everything can go wrong that cannot be accounted for. You’ve got to limit those as much as you can. You need to push him harder.
The doors to the roof creak slightly behind you. You turn around. The Knight stands in the entrance, having only opened the doors a crack. He’s almost hiding behind them, his stance timid and unsure.
He must realize how unconfident he looks, because once you focus your attention on him, he repositions. He lowers his shoulders and straightens his back. His head still looks down, despite how many times you’d insisted before for him to keep his chin up, but you let him off the hook because he’s looking at you from above.
DAVE: hey
DAVE: uh
DAVE: i figured youd be up here
DAVE: cuz i mean cal is downstairs so youre clearly home and you werent like messing with anything there so
He ends with a bit of a cough. You stare at him, as blank as usual.
DAVE: right i dont need to explain myself
DAVE: can i sit with you
You give a nod. He closes the door behind him and heads out to where you sit and joins you, keeping a couple feet of distance behind you. You slide your pack of cigarettes and lighter over. He takes one and lights it. He started smoking a bit ago now. You were around his age when you started, you think. He takes a puff and lets it out.
DAVE: so uh
DAVE: you know my birthday is coming up
You know. He’ll be 13.
DAVE: well uh do you remember john
DAVE: my friend
You do. You know John more than Dave does. The Heir of Breath, the first to enter the game, the first to ascend to godhood.
BRO: is he an internet pedo.
DAVE: no no no
DAVE: hes actually a couple months younger than me if anything im the internet pedo ok
BRO: heh.
His shoulders loosen a bit at your (admittedly forced) chuckle.
BRO: i remember john dont worry.
DAVE: ok ok
DAVE: well he had the idea for our birthdays
DAVE: to do a gift exchange between our friends
DAVE: so id have to give them our address i guess
DAVE: and you know internet safety dont give people your address because what if theyre yk creepy internet pedos
DAVE: uh
His hands are shaking a bit– you can tell by his cigarette jittering slightly between his fingers.
DAVE: i wont give them anything if it isnt cool or whatever
DAVE: and you know i only asked for the coolest most ironic shit from them
DAVE: just
DAVE: makin sure youd be chill with this
BRO: yeah ok.
His bond with the other three heroes will be important. You know this. You can’t get in the way and risk jeopardizing their camaraderie.
DAVE: ok ok sweet
The Knight is still not good at masking his emotions– not nearly as good as you’ve trained him to be. A small grin peeks across his face, and you watch him struggle to straighten out his face again. He glances back up at you when he’s back to normal, and seems to jump a bit with your gaze still on him.
He turns to face the sky. It reflects back in his shades– the same ones you wear. He doesn’t look much like you at all, despite being your kid. He far closer resembles the other component of his DNA, someone you haven’t spoken to in years.
BRO: about your birthday.
DAVE: yeah?
His grip on the cigarette tightens again, and he takes a draw.
BRO: you know were going to have to push your training harder right.
BRO: thirteen is a big milestone.
BRO: you can take more.
He takes a second to exhale.
DAVE: i know
DAVE: or i mean i figured
DAVE: its cool though i get it
You have five months. Four, if you only really start pushing him after he turns thirteen. He has to learn somehow. He needs to be ready in time.
He will not be. You know this. But you can get him as close to ready as you can. He’ll thank you, once he’s ascended to godhood himself.
You don’t exactly understand the specifics of how it will happen. Only that he, as the Knight of Time, will ascend to godhood and play a role in the recreation of the world. And that he needs to be prepared for it. That he will have to fight and push himself and figure out how to win with his strength. The strength that you, as his guardian, have been tasked with bringing out of him. You’ve spent seven years now, almost eight, truly training him for this, and he still will not be ready. It’s not enough. You wish you had more Time.
The Knight is silent, now, and crushes the remains of his cigarette into the concrete of the rooftop. He stays focused on the distance, not meeting your gaze. No doubt scoping out how the adjustments to his training will change things. He doesn’t know yet why these changes will be important, not really. He doesn’t understand the deadline you are working with here.
Most of your interactions with him up here have been relegated to his training. You’d long ago put up a sign on the roof door: NO ENTRY ALLOWED. Just to keep the space your own. The Knight’s blood has soaked into various parts of the roof, for all the times he should have dodged and didn’t. How little of your blood is left behind isn’t lost on you. The times he had the perfect openings to take an attack and didn’t. That’s when you were going easy on him, too. He isn’t ready for Sburb.
Although his shades are mostly opaque, as are yours, you can just barely make out the glimmer of his eye behind them. His eyes are sneaking glances in your direction, likely trying to gauge your reactions right now. Maybe he figures you’re looking to start up a strife, or that you’d be ambivalent to whatever he wants to pull next. You’ve made him take notice of his surroundings and plan accordingly. That’s a part of the training that’s been fairly successful, unlike most of the others.
He starts to stand up.
DAVE: i think im gonna go back inside
DAVE: uh
DAVE: nice talk
DAVE: thanks for the smoke
BRO: you keep pausing.
BRO: between sentences.
BRO: stopping to say “uh”.
DAVE: do i
BRO: you sound weak. uncertain.
BRO: cut that out.
He puts his hands behind his back. You’re sure he’s playing with them in some way– a habit you’ve tried to make him stop as well, time and time again. Now he just hides it from you. Another example of him not internalizing just about any of his training. He looks just as weak with his hands out of view.
DAVE: okay
DAVE: i will
BRO: are you worried about something.
BRO: anxious. on edge.
BRO: any variation of such.
DAVE: no
BRO: right.
BRO: then why do you sound like it.
DAVE: i
He starts to add his filler word of choice to his sentence, but stops himself, choosing instead to leave the pause empty.
DAVE: i dont know
BRO: well. figure it out.
DAVE: okay
DAVE: …
He watches you, to see if you have anything else to add before he leaves. You wait just a second longer. To throw him off. He has to learn to expect anything.
BRO: stop putting your hands behind your back.
BRO: its a weak stance. looks pathetic.
BRO: i know youre messing with your hands back there.
DAVE: ok
He removes his hands from his back and lets them hang at his sides. They fumble for his jeans for a second, before he realizes how that also goes against what you’d just said, and he lets go.
DAVE: is that all
BRO: …
DAVE: …
BRO: …
BRO: do you want pizza.
BRO: ill order one in a minute.
DAVE: yeah sure
DAVE: thanks
The Knight walks backwards for a second, just to keep an eye on you, and then turns around and heads downstairs. Some knight he’s proving himself to be. Staring dead-eyed like a deer in headlights won’t accomplish anything. That’s one more thing you’ve got to drill into his head, you note for later. He’s got to learn to take action for himself instead of reacting.
You light another cigarette. The sun has almost entirely set by now, and the pinkish glow around you has faded. The tradeback for cooler weather this time of year is how little daylight is left. A reminder of how short you are running on time. You have to keep going. You have to push him more and more. He’s still so timid and unassuming. Nothing like what a Knight of Time should embody.
You keep pushing him. You have been for the entirety of the almost-thirteen years of his life. And he doesn’t respond right. Not nearly right away, and not with as much vigor as you need. He’s not ready. You’ve done all you can, and he will not be ready. How disappointing.
You’ll do whatever it takes, give him that last little push, if it prepares him. If it gets him to finally focus and try as much as you know he’s capable of. He will be grateful one day.