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Karen couldn’t tell you when Angel had grown an interest in her. She also couldn’t tell you why. She could hazard guesses, sure, but the actual reasoning was locked inside the other girls head. She’d never planned on becoming friends with any of the people here. She had a mission. Her time needed to be spent carefully, acing classes to gain ranks and lower suspicion, while also going through computer files and paper trails to find out what Blood was up to.
Yet, despite all that, she found herself sitting in a dorm room that wasn’t her own, and not for the first time either. It had been a good few months ago that she’d finally stopped giving the cold shoulder to Angels attempts to talk, and only a week ago that Angel had freely given out her real name. Not that Karen didn’t already know it from her snooping, but it felt different to hear it said in quiet confidence than to read it idly off a screen.
Eden. Eden Judith Knight. It wasn’t a shock that it was Biblical. Just as it hadn’t been a shock to learn her past was Biblical too.
Eden was currently sitting in the school provided chair, which had been turned from the study desk to face the bed where Bumblebee sat. She was complaining about one of the teachers, leaning back with her legs crossed and a beer in one hand. She wasn’t in her criminal uniform, her pteruges replaced by a regular skirt, her helm and arm braces sitting rather carelessly on her dresser. Karen couldn’t help but note internally that the girl's hair was getting long, the usual near buzzcut long since overtaken by brown curls mixed with startlingly white feathers.
She looked comfortable. Of course she did, it was her room, yet it only made Karen feel all the more out of place in it. In stark contrast she sat neatly on the bed, still in her typical outfit, both hands holding a can of soda. She’d long ago figured out why Eden had insisted she sit on the bed while she took the chair. Both found their wings uncomfortable when pressed to a chair back, and it was a small, subtle attempt to play the part of a good host. One which Karen was sure would be vehemently denied if pointed out.
“Can I ask a question?” Bumblebee blurted it out before she could lose her courage and stop herself. It was one she’d been meaning to ask, one that had slowly formed over months of these subtle niceties.
“Yeah, duh. Shoot.” The complaints ceased, and she looked at Bumblebee with a small smile. Karen knew that behind those lips hid sharp teeth and a bite force that she’d once seen bend a spoon as a party trick.
“It’s personal.” She warned, almost wishing for a change of mind. It was a dangerous thing to be asking. Brother Blood's mental manipulations were always present, imbuing everyone in the H.A.E.Y.P. with a startling sense of loyalty. Any relationships she’d built up wouldn’t matter in the least bit; if there was any whiff of traitorous intent, she’d be torn apart, or at least put under scrutiny. She certainly didn’t want to test how strong her natural resistance to mind control was should Blood put his focus on her.
That wasn’t even considering Eden herself. Even without that grip on her mind, she was a dangerous thing to be playing with. Karen had watched her ruthless power in combat class, as well as her sick glee in the field. Were the students judged purely on combat, Eden would surely be in the top ranks, basking in the perks of a good grade alongside Jinx and Bumblebee herself. Instead, though, she was dragged down by a disregard of classwork, a disrespect of teachers, and a distaste of working cohesively in a group.
“Oh, please,” Eden snorted in response, “I literally gave you my name and told you about my childhood and shit. Pretty sure things are already personal between us.” She smiled lazily, inhumanly white teeth showing ever so slightly.
Here it was. Bumblebee took a deep breath. “Where do you think you’d be if HIVE hadn’t picked you up?”
Karen had a million ideas of how things would go. In hindsight, she should’ve expected this. Yet she was still taken aback by the laugh that came out of the hybrid in front of her. It was a sharp bark that quickly faded into giggles, followed by a “Oh, god,” and a small shift in posture. “I dunno, girl. Probably dead.” Eden’s grin at her own answer was replaced by a quick swig of beer.
“Dead?” Bumblebee balked.
“Yeah. I mean, probably. Like I said, I dunno.” She shrugged as if what she’d said was of no concern. “Without HIVE I’d be way worse at this shit, and I wouldn’t have a place to stay. I’d get shot by a cop or something, probably wouldn’t even last a year.”
“You think you’d still get into crime?”
“Obviously. Fuck else would I be doing?” She uncrossed her legs and sat up before leaning forwards, her wings shifting to reposition themselves now that they were free from the confines of the chair. Her posture shift implied she was getting more interested in this hypothetical being proposed, but that wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
Bumblebee took as subtle of a deep breath that she possibly could. “Could’ve always ended up doin’ hero work.” Here it was, the true meaning of this question. She prayed to whatever god would listen that she wasn’t about to be labeled a traitor. A smaller part of the prayer begged the girl in front of her to give the right answer. To prove she was worth all this time spent talking, or drinking, or sitting in silent company. That there was something more to the hand offered after a defeat in sparring, or the snacks passed her way, or the relinquishing of the more comfortable place to sit.
Eden laughed again, this one almost disbelieving. “Yeah, right. I burnt down a fuckin’ monastery, real hero material there.”
“You were a kid.” She reasoned.
“Fucked up kid, I’ll tell you that.”
“There’s heroes that have done worse.”
“Yeah, probably, but honestly I’d rather be dead, y’know? It’s miserable following the law, I can’t imagine enforcing it.”
Bumblebee sighed. “So you really can’t see yourself playing the hero? In any universe?”
“I didn’t say that. There’s, what, infinite universes or something? Gotta be at least one where I’m some stuck up goody-two-shoes. But she’d have to be a pretty different person.” Angel shrugged again and took another sip.
“What about civilian?” Maybe hero was the wrong angle. Maybe there was still something there.
Angel raised a brow at Bumblebee. “Because you really think this-” she gestured loosely to herself with her free hand, “-can just walk around, playing civie?” She grinned, uncanny teeth in full view.
“There’s a lot of weird lookin’ metas living normal lives. You never know.”
“Ugh, fine, okay, maybe I could get away with it, but that’s just because I’m sort of pretty or whatever. Elliot would be fucked, and we both know it.”
Bumblebee frowned, her eyes drifting to one of the photos pinned on the corkboard. It was of Kyd Wykkyd out of uniform, looking caught off guard and in the middle of trying to hide from the camera. She had to admit that with his sharp black teeth, piercing red eyes, and deathly looking skin tone… it was hard to see him getting to live a normal life. Not to mention his mutism. It went without saying that Eden wouldn’t just leave her twin like that.
“Honestly I’m happy with where I’ve ended up.” Angel’s voice snapped Bumblebee out of her thoughts. “Fucking hate listening to the staff and I probably could’ve done without meeting Jinx or most of the boys here, but I’d probably do it all again. Especially the burning down the monastery, fuuuck that place.” She gave another grin. It had all been a joke to her. Just some stupid silly hypothetical.
The two sat in silence for another moment, quietly working on their drinks, before Angel perked up again. “Ooh, wait, I’ve got one!”
“Oh?” Bumblebee ventured, trying to hide the disappointment lurking in her chest.
“Okay. Who do you think is most likely to kill someone?”
Bumblebee could’ve choked on her drink, thankful she’d swallowed moments before the question finished. “What?”
“Like- students here. Obviously half the staff has already killed someone. Of all of us, who do you think is most likely to kill? Who would graduate and immediately get a bodycount?”
“Oh, please, I’m sure some of us already have killcounts.” She rolled her eyes, hiding her discomfort with a smirk. “Besides, anyone can kill if you give them enough reason to.” She hoped her comment would shut down the discussion.
“Okay, fine, then ranking.” She changed posture again, leaning back once more. “I vote Gizmo for the top spot. That little fucker’s insane. He’d just do it, not even as a job or anything. He’d probably kill someone's grandma if she looked at him wrong.” She laughed at her own mental imagery.
“Yeah, probably.” Bumblebee agreed, forcing a small laugh. There, question answered. No need to continue.
“Oh, Surge could probably kill someone. Shit, she might even do it by accident.” She paused, as if to think. “Uh, Jinx would probably do it if she got told to. Stupid suck up. Xilo might, I don’t really know with that guy actually.” (No one really knew what XL Terrestrial’s deal was, given the way xe mostly kept to xemself. No one was even sure if xe liked the nickname the other students had given xem, but xe responded to it, so everyone figured it was fine.)
Karen didn’t like how logical the suggestions were. She didn’t like how she could see each name doing it.
“I think I could do it. Not gonna just do it for the sake of doing it, though. But I could totally do it if I got paid enough or got mad enough. So I think Gizmo’s at the top, then probably Surge, then Jinx, then me…”
Bumblebee quietly lifted the can, acting as though she was taking another sip. Acting as though it wasn’t empty. Over the rim she stared at Angel, and pictured the girl in front of her holding someone up. Smiling. Letting go and watching them fall. Or worse, taking one of those sharpened halos, pressing it to a throat… she felt bile rise at the vision of white feathers splattered in blood.
Suddenly Angel snapped her fingers. “Oh, shit, you’d totally do it.” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Bumblebee raised her brows, steeling her face into a small smile before lowering the soda can back down. There was a silent question in her look that Angel jumped to answer. “Don’t give me that, you would! You’re top student next to Jinx, you’re Blood's favorite! Come on, if he told you to do it you would!”
She swallowed back the bile and ignored the sick feeling in her stomach. She kept her composure, kept calm like this was a normal conversation. A normal thing for friends to talk about. “Yeah, probably.” She conceded with another fake smile. Despite her best efforts, though, a bit of her discomfort must have been visible from the way Angel stiffened and frowned, suddenly looking serious. Suddenly her golden eyes shot open with some kind of realization, and for a moment Karen feared it was over. Nearly a year's worth of work, gone because she couldn’t act bloodlusted enough to-
“You actually have, haven’t you? Holy shit.”
Bumblebee blinked a little, her confusion slipping through for just a moment.
“Oh my god, that’s why you said that thing about some of us having counts already! Damn, girl.” Angel's grin returned, now worn on an expression that seemed to be impressed. “Shit, I mean…” She finished her bottle, seemingly lost for words.
Quickly Karen recovered from her befuddlement, realizing what was being implied. Her confident, relaxed look came back. “I don’t really like to talk about it.” The lie rolled easily off the tongue.
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” The way Angel said it made it clear she didn’t get it at all, and Karen knew that if Angel committed a murder it would be her bragging right for months, a thought that made the bile rise up again.
Bumblebee looked over at the clock sitting on the dresser and widened her eyes. “Shit- sorry to leave it off here but I’ve really gotta go, it’s getting late-” she put on her best apologetic look, gathering up her bag. She was thankful it really was getting late. It saved her from another lie.
“Oh fuck- yeah, totally, that’s- yeah.” Angel went to open the door, stopping with her hand on the doorknob. “Things aren’t weird now, right?” She smiled nervously, looking over her shoulder. Karen wasn’t sure if the fact she stood between her and the door was purposeful.
“Of course not!” She’d practiced this in the mirror. A nice big genuine smile, even as she wanted to punch the person in front of her.
“See you on Monday.” If it was a test, the smile had passed, the door opening.
“See ya then!” Bumblebee threw her empty can in the garbage as she passed.
She barely breathed all the way back to her own dorm, gasping for air once she was safe behind her own closed door. Karen laid on her bed without bothering to change clothes, staring at the ceiling above her, feeling the mattress press uncomfortably into her wings. She shouldn’t be feeling like this. She knew what kind of place this was and what kind of people it held when she first thought to infiltrate it. She knew that she’d have to be seen as one of them, willing to do anything. Yet she still found herself stunned by that genuine look in Angel's eyes. It should’ve been a relief that it was assumed she would do anything for Blood, that she had done anything for Blood, yet instead it made her feel filthy.
As she stood up to prepare for bed she pushed away her thoughts about Angel. Her thoughts about saving her. The girl didn’t want to be saved, and it was Karen's fault for not seeing that sooner.
A girl drowning would only drag you down with her.