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The night has been running long. The Centaurs have invited Hayden Pike as well as Cliff Marlow to their regular barbeque, hoping to learn more about their best players' friends. It's all been a waste of time in Cliff's opinion. He has gotten some good food and a bunch of beer, so that's that, but otherwise, he doesn't have much in common with Rozy's new team. There isn't much to talk about.
Cliff suspects that Pike is having the same problem. Hollander and Rosanov got pulled into conversation a long time ago, and are showing no signs of stopping, so the two outsiders are left alone on the outskirts of the backyard. Far enough for privacy, but close enough not to be seen as "lonely". The blasting music from the main group drowns out any remaining doubts of anyone overhearing them, and Cliff suspects that it gives Pike the confidence to say what he then says.
"How are you friends with Rosanov? I'm sure he's fine once you get to know him, but I really can't se it, nor stand him. You seem like a chill dude all in all, but why must Rosanov be such an asshole?"
Cliff thinks about it for a moment. He thinks it's due to the fact that he knows what it's like to be an A-class asshole. He is one too. Maybe not as bad as Roz, but still up there. He thinks it might be that he understands what the chips and insults hide. He sees the meaning behind the words rather then the insults. When Roz tells him he'll steal his girl, he means that he approves and is telling Marlow to treat her good and lock her down. When Roz tells him that he is playing like shit, he means to ask if Marlow is feeling well or needs any help. It's all such a complicated dance of hiding behind fragile masculinity (and yes, Cliff can admit that), that they both recognize the steps when the other moves.
But Cliff isn't going to say that. It wouldn't endear Pike to Rozanov, maybe even make it worse. But he has to make Pike understand what Cliff sees when he looks as Ilya Rosanov.
Marlow sips his drink, giving himself time to think a bit more about his answer. Roz has always called Hayden a bit dumb, but so has he called Cliff too, so it doesn't say much about how straight forward he can be about this. Then again, Pike calls himself Hollanders best friend and didn't even suspect the guy of being gay, while Cliff saw the signs quite soon after meeting Roz, despite how much he tried to hide it. He also argues that spotting a bi man is harder then spotting a gay one, taking into consideration that bi's can blend in with their love of women.
"How about I tell you a story about a friend of mine", Cliff starts.
The clear avoidance of the initial question has Pike rolling his eyes in annoyance.
"No thank-", he tries, but gets cut off by a "too bad", from Cliff.
Cliff tries to think of a believable lie.
"I have this cousin-"
"I though you said friend?"
"Fuck off. As I was saying, my cousin. He lives in... Uhhmm, Afghanistan?", Cliff comes up. Sue him. It was the first place that came to mind that hates gays.
"Oh so now you don't even know where your cousin lives. Cool.", Pike comments, unconvinced.
"I said, fuck off, Pike. Now, what do you know about Afghanistan?", Cliff asks instead.
Pike takes another sip of his drink, contemplating.
"They don't respect women."
"Obviously, what else?"
"Ummm...", it's clear Pike tries to think of something that is somewhat respectful, but fails miserably, "... culture?".
"Oh, for fucks sake, Pike!", Cliff laughs. This might be a bit more challenging that he had anticipated. "It's illegal to be gay there. Like, you'll get killed-level of bad".
"Oh", The other man sighs, embarrassed.
There is a tense silence for a moment before Pike speaks up.
"So, that cousin of yours, is he-?", he tries.
"Bi, specifically. Likes both guys and chicks. Swings both ways as they say", Cliff puts him out of his misery.
Pike only nods in response.
"Back when he was a kid, I guess, he might have looked at a boy in his class or something a bit too much. Had a crush, I guess.", Cliff recites, making up a story as he goes. He hasn't actually heard most of this from Roz, but from the little snippets he has heard, he fills in the blanks quite well.
Pike listens attentively. Humming on occasion, but doesn't look at him. Both of them stare at their drinks.
"His dad is mean. Violent, I guess. His mom is kind but sad. I think the right word is depression? Then an older brother.", Cliff continues.
This has Pike perking up.
"Yeah. Depression is a bitch. Jackie had it after her first pregnancy. It was a hard time for all of us. I really wouldn't wish it on anyone...", Pike adds.
Cliff nods in condolence.
"So, what does a confused little boy do when ones father is a police and violent, and ones mom is stressed enough?", Cliff throws in as the next question, making sure Pike is following along.
"Um, well I'd tell my brother, I guess. I know my brother is sometimes a bit mean, but he loves me", Pike guesses.
Cliff nods, confirming the answer.
"Unfortunately, this brother isn't as loving as yours. He calls him disgusting and a fag, before running to snitch to their dad, who is police, in a country where this is illegal...", Cliff tells in a calm voice, contrasting with the intenseness of the words.
Pike swallows nervously.
"What happened then?"
Cliff takes another sip, letting the fear linger.
"He is young, only a kid. He is punished, but not by law. The family decides to fix him, before it's too late. Before word gets out.", Cliff answers.
Pike seems a bit overwhelmed, drowning the rest of his drink and reaching for another one from the cooler. Cliff lets him. As he hears the tell-tale sound of a can opening, he continues.
"So, a few years go by. Everything he does is monitored. He isn't allowed to cry too much, it's a sign of him being gay. He has to start a manly sport to show he isn't too weak. Umm... boxing, perhaps? He likes the sport, is actually good at it. It earns him a point with his Dad. Then he gets a best friend who is a girl. That earns him more scornful looks and mean words. One step forward two steps back...", Cliff tries to describe. He tried to think of another stereotypically masculine sport like hockey, and fell on the most stereotypical of them all. Well, it works.
"Fuck...", Pike says again, now feeling genuinely bad for the imaginary kid, "nothing he will ever do will be good enough, will it?"
Cliff shakes his head in agreement.
"The kid doesn't know that. He only wants his family's approval and love. What can he do but try?", he laments.
Cliff wonders if it still tears Rosanov apart. The fact that his family hates him. Not for anything he has done to them, but simply for who he is, who he loves.
"Then, the kid turns 12 years old. His brother has been mean to him again. Called him cruel names and beat him up. He goes looking for his mom, hoping to get some sort of comfort.", Cliff explains. He turns to Pike looking at his face, wondering if Pike recognizes the story from Rozy's speech at the charity gala for the Irina foundation, but it doesn't seem to ring any bells with the Montreal player. Maybe he is as dumb as Rozanov says he is?
"You know... he goes into the bedroom... his mom his laying on the bed, pills on the counter... not moving...?", Cliff prods, trying find at what point the recognition will flicker in those confused eyes. Finally, they do flicker, then they freeze in understanding.
"Oh..."
Cliff only nods, and tries to continue the story.
"Now with only his dad and brother, he drowns himself in training. He becomes really fucking good at boxing. Like good enough to be a famous prospect, but it's not enough. All his dad and brother sees is that he likes men, and that they have failed to change him. They use this info, threatening him into obedience, into silence."
"Blackmail?"
"Yeah, that."
Cliff takes another sip of his drink before continuing.
"He tris to hide behind what is expected of him. If he doesn't have a girlfriend, they'll say, are you hiding a boyfriend? why don't women interest you?, and if he has someone long term, they'll say, we can't be sure if she is pretending for you? Have you paid her off to fool us, boy?, so instead he goes around flirting with girls at bars. It isn't a hassle, he does also like women, but so does he men, but no one can know that. He build this reputation of being a ladies man, a playboy, to hide the uncertainty of him even even considering men. It's safe, it's smart.", Cliff tries to explain the logic.
"It is pretty smart when you think about it...", Pike admits, letting a hint of a laugh through.
Cliff joins in, if only to make Pike more comfortable.
"The smartest", he agrees.
Cliff thinks about what the next part of the story could be.
"He gets so good at boxing that he gets to move to America to box. He is rich, best in the rink. He is getting used to the feeling of being free from his family and his country. He quirks of his cocky and confident attitude as well as his style of clothing is seen as European rather then as him being gay. No one suspects a thing. His disguise is flawless."
"You can say that again...", Pike jokes, taking a huge sip of his drink.
"But he isn't free yet", Cliff warns.
"How so?", Pike asks.
"He doesn't have an American passport, still Afghani, and boxing isn't very accepting of queer people. His sponsors could drop him if they knew, he'd be deported right into a death trap, with all his secrets exposed."
"Fuck!", Pike can't help but exclaim, "What a mess..."
"I know right?", Cliff agrees, "So, he keeps his disguise. His brother still blackmails him with the info calling him for money for his drug problem. The boy can't help but give in every time, sending the money despite the cruel shit his older brother spouts into the phone. But then something happens."
"What happens?", Pike asks, curiosity peaked.
Cliff turns to Pike, grinning like a mad man.
"The boy falls in love. Head over heels!", Cliff snickers.
This has Hayden smiling and laughing along as they turn to watch Rozanov clinging to Hollander like an oversized koala, leavening butterfly kisses into the nape of his neck.
"He is, isn't he? In love, I mean... crazy to think about", Hayden sighs, contemplative. Then, his gaze sharpens as he sits up straighter in panic.
"Is, um, the kid, safe now? How is he now? Is there a danger that he'll get deported or blackmailed, or some other shit...", Pike asks, trying to still talk under the guise of the story.
Cliff smiles, laughing in delight. It seems that he managed to get Pike to care for Rozanov after all.
"Yeah... I think he will be fine. I heard he has cut off his brother, he has gotten a new passport through his fiancé, and is happier then he has ever been", Cliff admits.
Pike blushes at his unnecessary worrying over Rozanov and picks up his drink to drown the rest in one go.
"He is still an asshole!"
"Of course he is"
"That won't change"
"I hope it won't"
.
.
.
"Yeah, it wouldn't feel right otherwise"
With that admission, Cliff knows he has gotten Pike to understand and truly see Rozanov for who he is, behind all the walls he builds up. Cliff can rest easy knowing that Hollanders best man won't have to run that one overworked braincell ragged trying to decode the Russian menace.
"Your right, it wouldn't"